(no subject)
So my last post was a month ago. Since then a lot has happened...
Jasmine had her puppies on June 18th. It was horrible. She carried a total of 7 puppies. 2 were stillborn and never took a single breathe but I worked for a long time trying to get them breathing. Another 1 was so so tiny and didn't look right; I tried to get him to latch on and worked non-stop to no avail. He started having seizures and passed away about 18 hours after he was born.
During this same time we unexpectedly lost my uncle on the 17th. I was a basket case to say the least. And then to have the labor and delivery be the hardest one I've ever been a part of was heartbreaking.
On Sunday the 21st I brought Jazzy and her 4 remaining puppies to my friend's house to stay while I travelled to Rhode Island for my uncle's wake and funeral. My friend has been breeding dogs for over 10 years and has taught me everything I know about breeding and whelping. On the 22nd I was getting ready to leave, packing the car, making sure I had everything I needed for the trip when my friend texted me to say that another puppy had passed away. There was nothing I could do.
The trip to RI was cathartic.
I spent as much time as possible with my family. I was feeling a little added stressed b/c there were a bunch of my cousin's friends from high school in attendance as it was his father who passed away. My cousin and I went to the same high school. He has a group of guys he's been friends with since grade school. A couple of these guys were pallbearers. I didn't really want to talk to any of them; I was emotional and honestly, a little intimidated as I haven't spoken to any of them in 25 years. But then I realized, this wasn't a high school reunion, I wasn't being rude for not making small talk with them, I was doing what I needed to do - spend time with my family.
By the end of the trip I was feeling nostalgic and missing living in RI. But an interesting thing happened on my way home. I was driving through MA heading to NY. I could feel all the anxiety and insecurity of when I was a teenage girl and still trying to figure out who I was when BAM, I hit the NY border and a feeling of contentment washed over me. It was kind of bizarre and hard to explain but I physically felt lighter. I love my life in NY, the person I am, my family, the people I associate myself with and call friends. I have created my own "family" in NY. Don't get me wrong, I wish everyday my family were able to share my day-to-day life with me in person, that there were some way I could merge my life in NY with my family in RI but I can't but I can't and truthfully, I'm really happy here.
Jasmine had her puppies on June 18th. It was horrible. She carried a total of 7 puppies. 2 were stillborn and never took a single breathe but I worked for a long time trying to get them breathing. Another 1 was so so tiny and didn't look right; I tried to get him to latch on and worked non-stop to no avail. He started having seizures and passed away about 18 hours after he was born.
During this same time we unexpectedly lost my uncle on the 17th. I was a basket case to say the least. And then to have the labor and delivery be the hardest one I've ever been a part of was heartbreaking.
On Sunday the 21st I brought Jazzy and her 4 remaining puppies to my friend's house to stay while I travelled to Rhode Island for my uncle's wake and funeral. My friend has been breeding dogs for over 10 years and has taught me everything I know about breeding and whelping. On the 22nd I was getting ready to leave, packing the car, making sure I had everything I needed for the trip when my friend texted me to say that another puppy had passed away. There was nothing I could do.
The trip to RI was cathartic.
I spent as much time as possible with my family. I was feeling a little added stressed b/c there were a bunch of my cousin's friends from high school in attendance as it was his father who passed away. My cousin and I went to the same high school. He has a group of guys he's been friends with since grade school. A couple of these guys were pallbearers. I didn't really want to talk to any of them; I was emotional and honestly, a little intimidated as I haven't spoken to any of them in 25 years. But then I realized, this wasn't a high school reunion, I wasn't being rude for not making small talk with them, I was doing what I needed to do - spend time with my family.
By the end of the trip I was feeling nostalgic and missing living in RI. But an interesting thing happened on my way home. I was driving through MA heading to NY. I could feel all the anxiety and insecurity of when I was a teenage girl and still trying to figure out who I was when BAM, I hit the NY border and a feeling of contentment washed over me. It was kind of bizarre and hard to explain but I physically felt lighter. I love my life in NY, the person I am, my family, the people I associate myself with and call friends. I have created my own "family" in NY. Don't get me wrong, I wish everyday my family were able to share my day-to-day life with me in person, that there were some way I could merge my life in NY with my family in RI but I can't but I can't and truthfully, I'm really happy here.