Fun with Facebook...
So two friends of mine were being silly on one of my Facebook statuses. It started out with me liking "For Colored Girls" and it just descended into madness from there, lol!
---
W: "Hey........I'm a colored girl. PASTY IS A COLOR DAMN IT!"
K: "I'm like a glazed donut....light brown on the outer shell but when i take off my shirt I'm doughy white...and fuckin shiny for some reason..."
W: "that's because you cover yourself in olive oil..."
K: "hey, you told me that one time to do that, and then i slipped outside your window and slid 30 feet into the bushes of the neighbors next door, and it wouldn't have been a big deal but i was naked and holding a rubber chicken."
W: "I told you to get the cat from next door and the slip and slide. Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids!"
K: "the cat was squirming too much, and his claws hit me right....well...you know....cuz i was dangling...and tricks are for adults too!..well, the tricks I'm talking about cost 20 bucks..."
W: "well I TOLD you the unicycle was in the shop getting fixed and the goat has anxiety!"
K: "well, you changed the seat on the unicycle to an 18 inch dildo, and i told you i can only take 12 inches deep, so yeah, see why it broke!! the goat was fine until i pulled down my pants and he started laughing, the he got all anxious cuz he ...was trying to figure out how he was gonna fake it...perhaps i have said WAY too much..."
W: "well, things woulda been fine if the midget and the bearded lady would have showed up and marked down the prices on Noah's Ark. We ALL know hes WAAAAAAAAAAAAY overpriced"
K: "it would also have been easier if that amputee had just climbed out, instead he set up camp and keeps knocking on my right ass cheek asking for a cable hook up to be installed. that is the LAST TIME i advertise for this shit on craigslist!!"
W: "Did I tell you I talked to the umbrella salesman that was bodysurfing and he said the anal candle kept going out. So I let the beaver in the car and we left the cop shop!!"
K: "i had not heard of the umbrella salesman, however, i did talk to a two headed triplet and he/she/he told me about that famous guy from Nantucket, who in turn told me about a girl from china with a real large vagina, that's what i think he said, his mouth was full. anyway she said take the blue pill, and the sphincter will be released!"
W: "When I was at the grocery store, the cat in assless chaps sold me some Skippy Peanut Butter. He was explaining how when your nephew eats your wife's birth control pills, you don't want to laugh at the 3 year old when he falls in the toilet and all you see is feet and arms from the other room. I did mail out your renewal subscription though for Pony and Clown Rompathon. Happy reading!"
W: "Well, last that I heard, and this is just gossip, but AD sent the monkey to the ice cream shop and Dawn wouldn't serve him. So Grande hooked up with Stu Hart and told Elmer Fudd to break out the benjamins. But Karl told ME that Mr Roper from Three's Company was dating Pete's Dragon and man........did they have some UUUUUUUGLY kids"
K: "i........can not think of anything else......lemme regroup with some alcohol, then i might pick up where the kids were born....i know it has to do with octomom some how!"
K: "ok, so i got buzzed with some alcohol :) and i remember talking to the guy who bends the taco shells for taco bell, and he told me that those kids were sent to a factory in Bangladesh where they make generic Twinkies, and the security guard... there is actually tupac shakur, and he claimed he was going to go on maury povich and take the dna test for octomoms kids, which would be the first time in history a rapper claimed his kids. THEN out of nowhere billy squire showed up and pranced around with Dawn, who had just shown up to bitch slap tupac just cause she had a week off from work."
W: "ahhhh, good ole Maury. So I'm out raking the leaves off the roof of the school bus when the little girl on the Coppertone bottle comes out and says that the cheerleading squad took all the cheese to the hair salon. I told her that Mayor McCheese was gonna be really pissed but she told me that it was all cool cuz ice cream don't have bones : )"
K: "then the oompa loompas showed up and tied slingshot harnesses to their waists so they could gang bang the women of the wnba while they stood up. after that, the dominos pizza noid showed up with a water gun and sprayed the oompa loompas and they turned evil like the gremlins. then the cheese cake factory exploded next door and it looked like the end of a really bad porno movie"
W: "While the AVON lady was cleaning up from the porno movie ending, the Guatemalan (sp) down the street rode his tricycle through the sewer grate thinking he was going to find Nemo. Hank Hill, who coincidently is married to the Little Mermaid, told the terminator that the Snorks and Fraggle Rock was a horrible show! After Mr T came in to stop the fight, the poodle and the hamster took AD's ball and went home."
K: "and then prince and the revolution showed up playing purple rain dressed as GWAR, and the smurfs were dancing like Carlton from the fresh prince of bel air, while the lolli pop guild showed up and karate chopped through every ones knees as they danced. as the melee' ensued, it became apparent the only one who could save this catastrophe was Wayne Newton, as he dropped from the plane his hair exploded and killed them all."
---
W: "Hey........I'm a colored girl. PASTY IS A COLOR DAMN IT!"
K: "I'm like a glazed donut....light brown on the outer shell but when i take off my shirt I'm doughy white...and fuckin shiny for some reason..."
W: "that's because you cover yourself in olive oil..."
K: "hey, you told me that one time to do that, and then i slipped outside your window and slid 30 feet into the bushes of the neighbors next door, and it wouldn't have been a big deal but i was naked and holding a rubber chicken."
W: "I told you to get the cat from next door and the slip and slide. Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids!"
K: "the cat was squirming too much, and his claws hit me right....well...you know....cuz i was dangling...and tricks are for adults too!..well, the tricks I'm talking about cost 20 bucks..."
W: "well I TOLD you the unicycle was in the shop getting fixed and the goat has anxiety!"
K: "well, you changed the seat on the unicycle to an 18 inch dildo, and i told you i can only take 12 inches deep, so yeah, see why it broke!! the goat was fine until i pulled down my pants and he started laughing, the he got all anxious cuz he ...was trying to figure out how he was gonna fake it...perhaps i have said WAY too much..."
W: "well, things woulda been fine if the midget and the bearded lady would have showed up and marked down the prices on Noah's Ark. We ALL know hes WAAAAAAAAAAAAY overpriced"
K: "it would also have been easier if that amputee had just climbed out, instead he set up camp and keeps knocking on my right ass cheek asking for a cable hook up to be installed. that is the LAST TIME i advertise for this shit on craigslist!!"
W: "Did I tell you I talked to the umbrella salesman that was bodysurfing and he said the anal candle kept going out. So I let the beaver in the car and we left the cop shop!!"
K: "i had not heard of the umbrella salesman, however, i did talk to a two headed triplet and he/she/he told me about that famous guy from Nantucket, who in turn told me about a girl from china with a real large vagina, that's what i think he said, his mouth was full. anyway she said take the blue pill, and the sphincter will be released!"
W: "When I was at the grocery store, the cat in assless chaps sold me some Skippy Peanut Butter. He was explaining how when your nephew eats your wife's birth control pills, you don't want to laugh at the 3 year old when he falls in the toilet and all you see is feet and arms from the other room. I did mail out your renewal subscription though for Pony and Clown Rompathon. Happy reading!"
W: "Well, last that I heard, and this is just gossip, but AD sent the monkey to the ice cream shop and Dawn wouldn't serve him. So Grande hooked up with Stu Hart and told Elmer Fudd to break out the benjamins. But Karl told ME that Mr Roper from Three's Company was dating Pete's Dragon and man........did they have some UUUUUUUGLY kids"
K: "i........can not think of anything else......lemme regroup with some alcohol, then i might pick up where the kids were born....i know it has to do with octomom some how!"
K: "ok, so i got buzzed with some alcohol :) and i remember talking to the guy who bends the taco shells for taco bell, and he told me that those kids were sent to a factory in Bangladesh where they make generic Twinkies, and the security guard... there is actually tupac shakur, and he claimed he was going to go on maury povich and take the dna test for octomoms kids, which would be the first time in history a rapper claimed his kids. THEN out of nowhere billy squire showed up and pranced around with Dawn, who had just shown up to bitch slap tupac just cause she had a week off from work."
W: "ahhhh, good ole Maury. So I'm out raking the leaves off the roof of the school bus when the little girl on the Coppertone bottle comes out and says that the cheerleading squad took all the cheese to the hair salon. I told her that Mayor McCheese was gonna be really pissed but she told me that it was all cool cuz ice cream don't have bones : )"
K: "then the oompa loompas showed up and tied slingshot harnesses to their waists so they could gang bang the women of the wnba while they stood up. after that, the dominos pizza noid showed up with a water gun and sprayed the oompa loompas and they turned evil like the gremlins. then the cheese cake factory exploded next door and it looked like the end of a really bad porno movie"
W: "While the AVON lady was cleaning up from the porno movie ending, the Guatemalan (sp) down the street rode his tricycle through the sewer grate thinking he was going to find Nemo. Hank Hill, who coincidently is married to the Little Mermaid, told the terminator that the Snorks and Fraggle Rock was a horrible show! After Mr T came in to stop the fight, the poodle and the hamster took AD's ball and went home."
K: "and then prince and the revolution showed up playing purple rain dressed as GWAR, and the smurfs were dancing like Carlton from the fresh prince of bel air, while the lolli pop guild showed up and karate chopped through every ones knees as they danced. as the melee' ensued, it became apparent the only one who could save this catastrophe was Wayne Newton, as he dropped from the plane his hair exploded and killed them all."