The long awaited Crossover...
Well, I finally wrote it. The scary and bizzare and slightly OOC Crossover in which Lord Wotton makes Seward feel really awkward and Victoria is played by a freshly Cole Portered Marin Mazzie. (And if you figure out which song that's a reference to, I'll write you whatever fic you want.) Anyhow, it's shorter than I initally planned, because I was afaid of phailing at Lord Henry if I made it more extensive.
And it's dedicated to jiasachan and silverdragon262, because it is entirely their faults that this ever popped into my head in the first place.
The Scandal of the Year
Anyone who knew Doctor John Seward knew that his appearance was the least of his concerns. His wavy dark brown hair seemed perpetually confused as to what it was supposed to do, and his clothes usually looked as though they had been wadded into a ball when removed the night before. So if anyone who knew him had seen him walking down the street that morning, he would most certainly been committed to his own asylum. His hair was neatly combed, his clothes were pressed and clean, and his socks matched each other. The grim but determined look on his face was also a rarity, only seen under the most serious of circumstances.
He reached his destination at precisely 11 a.m., his punctuality fitting with the rest of his odd behavior. He gave a quick rap on the door and waited. Silently he prayed someone would answer quickly, before his nerve failed him and he turned around. Just as he was on the verge of doing so, however, the butler opened the door. He was startled by Seward’s presence there at such an hour, but let him in.
Seward knew his way around the house quite well after all these months, and quickly headed toward the stairs, intent on going through with what he had come here to do. However, his perfectly imagined plan unraveled in a mere moment. Just as he was passing the sitting room door, he collided with the figure rapidly exiting it. The stern demeanor he had worked all night to set in place crumbled instantly when he found a sobbing and still nightclothed Victoria Wotton in his arms.
“Oh Jack,” she gasped through her sobs, “I don’t know what you’re doing here, but I’m so glad you’ve come.” Seward instinctively put his arms around her, but was distracted by the figure watching them from the sitting room doorway.
“Victoria, dear,” said Lord Henry Wotton, “judging by the look of sadness and bewilderment on the doctor’s face, I rather doubt he came here bearing good news.” The nobleman’s tone sounded as though he was quite bored.
Seward was thrown entirely off his guard. “I didn’t think…I was hoping Lord Henry might already be out…I had no intention…what happened?” he stammered. Victoria’s reply was unintelligible through her tears and Seward shoulder. Lord Henry came just short of rolling his eyes. “I served her with divorce papers this morning,” he said lazily.
The last vestiges of Seward’s intended purpose there shattered. “On what grounds?” he asked incredulously. Lord Henry gave an amused smile. “Why, infidelity, of course. Good thing I did too; if I had waited until this evening, my grounds would no longer have stood, would they, doctor?”
Victoria pulled away a little, wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her robe. “What the devil is that supposed to mean, Henry,” she said angrily. Lord Henry shook his head. “We obviously, dear, the good doctor was coming to break off your affair. I’d know that look from a mile away, especially on a good Catholic.”
Seward’s blush betrayed the truth of Lord Henry’s observation. Victoria was now at as much of a loss as Seward. “Jack,” she whispered, “Jack, no…you weren’t…I hate you! You’re both nothing but awful brutes!” Before Seward could protest, she had fled past him and run up the stairs. Moments later a door slammed.
Lord Henry yawned. “She’ll get over it quickly,” he said, and retreated back into the study. Seward, however, had finally managed to recover. Angrily he followed Lord Henry. “What the hell are you trying to do?” he said through gritted teeth.
Lord Henry remained entirely calm. With an infuriating casualness, he settled himself into his favorite chair and pulled out a cigarette. He lit it, and took his time enjoying the first few puffs. Eventually, he looked back up at Seward. “My good doctor, do have a seat won’t you? Would you care for a cigarette?”
“I would like to know what sort of cruel game you are trying to play,” Seward replied, still standing. “For years you and Victoria have operated as though all marriage means is that you each wear a ring on your left hand, and now all of a sudden, this? What, did you just wake up one morning and decide ‘you know, I think I’d like a divorce with my eggs’?”
Lord Henry smiled amusedly. “I could try to explain it to you, but I doubt you would understand or accept my reasons. You’re far too moral, and you’d over analyze the whole thing anyway. Do take a seat.”
Seward sat tensely on the edge of the chair Lord Henry indicated. “It won’t stand anyway,” he said. “I am not sleeping with your wife.”
“You might as well; I’m certainly not.” The careless way in which Lord Henry said it still shocked Seward. “For the love of God, she’s your wife,” he said incredulously.
“A marriage of convenience which has grown inconvenient. Not that you’d understand such a concept, my dear doctor. And to anticipate your next question, no, I don’t particularly give a damn if you two want to have passionate trysts while I’m out carrying on my own scandalous liaisons. You might as well enjoy each other.”
“Unlike some people, I do not base my relationships entirely on physical intimacy,” said Seward pointedly. Lord Henry snorted. “I am quite certain of that. Have you ever even had sex?”
Seward was thrown so off-balance by this question that he nearly fell out of his chair. Lord Henry merely stubbed out his cigarette end in a nearby ashtray and lit another. After a long and awkward silence, he glanced over at Seward. “Well?”
“Yes, if you must know, I have. With a girl,” he added hastily, noticing the scheming glint in Lord Henry’s eye. The nobleman smirked. Seward ran a hand through his hair, returning it to its usual mussed state. This was definitely not how he had imagined this visit turning out, and it was growing worse by the minute. He was trying to think of an exit line, but his mind was entirely blank. He was contemplating simply getting up and bolting for the door when Lord Henry exhaled a smoke puff and spoke.
“Well, what was she like?” Seward jumped slightly at the question, being entirely disoriented. Lord Henry didn’t even glance over this time. “Was she young? Pretty? A whore? Come, man, you don’t think you’ll get away with admitting it without providing the juicy details, do you?” Seward felt like he was back at university, listening to his father grill him for every detail of his life while Art lingered nearby as moral support.
“I was an intern at the hospital, she was training to be a nurse, we fell in love,” he said quickly. Lord Henry’s silence seemed like an unpleasant cue to elaborate. “We were engaged, and one night I walked her to her flat and…well, didn’t leave until the next morning.”
“What ever happened to her?” said Lord Henry coolly.
“She died. Consumption. She knew she had the symptoms, but didn’t tell anyone until it was too late. It’s not an uncommon habit among members of the medical profession who fall ill, you see. It tends to make them…us…them feel like they’re not qualified-”
“Pity about her,” Lord Henry interrupted in a bored voice. “Better luck this time, eh?”
Two weeks later Arthur Holmwood was reading the morning paper when suddenly he spit out his tea. Quickly wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he blinked and reread the small article tucked among the other society gossip to make sure he wasn’t imagining things.
“Yesterday afternoon may well have hosted the most scandalous event of the year when Lord Henry Wotton escorted the former Lady Victoria Wotton directly from the courtroom in which their divorce was finalized to a nearby catherdral, when he gave her away in marriage to Dr. John Seward, the proprietor of the Asylum near Cairfax. The new Dr. and Mrs. Seward are reported to be traveling abroad in Amsterdam for their honeymoon. Lord Wotton refused to say anything about the matter.”
“I’ll be damned,” muttered Arthur.
And it's dedicated to jiasachan and silverdragon262, because it is entirely their faults that this ever popped into my head in the first place.
The Scandal of the Year
Anyone who knew Doctor John Seward knew that his appearance was the least of his concerns. His wavy dark brown hair seemed perpetually confused as to what it was supposed to do, and his clothes usually looked as though they had been wadded into a ball when removed the night before. So if anyone who knew him had seen him walking down the street that morning, he would most certainly been committed to his own asylum. His hair was neatly combed, his clothes were pressed and clean, and his socks matched each other. The grim but determined look on his face was also a rarity, only seen under the most serious of circumstances.
He reached his destination at precisely 11 a.m., his punctuality fitting with the rest of his odd behavior. He gave a quick rap on the door and waited. Silently he prayed someone would answer quickly, before his nerve failed him and he turned around. Just as he was on the verge of doing so, however, the butler opened the door. He was startled by Seward’s presence there at such an hour, but let him in.
Seward knew his way around the house quite well after all these months, and quickly headed toward the stairs, intent on going through with what he had come here to do. However, his perfectly imagined plan unraveled in a mere moment. Just as he was passing the sitting room door, he collided with the figure rapidly exiting it. The stern demeanor he had worked all night to set in place crumbled instantly when he found a sobbing and still nightclothed Victoria Wotton in his arms.
“Oh Jack,” she gasped through her sobs, “I don’t know what you’re doing here, but I’m so glad you’ve come.” Seward instinctively put his arms around her, but was distracted by the figure watching them from the sitting room doorway.
“Victoria, dear,” said Lord Henry Wotton, “judging by the look of sadness and bewilderment on the doctor’s face, I rather doubt he came here bearing good news.” The nobleman’s tone sounded as though he was quite bored.
Seward was thrown entirely off his guard. “I didn’t think…I was hoping Lord Henry might already be out…I had no intention…what happened?” he stammered. Victoria’s reply was unintelligible through her tears and Seward shoulder. Lord Henry came just short of rolling his eyes. “I served her with divorce papers this morning,” he said lazily.
The last vestiges of Seward’s intended purpose there shattered. “On what grounds?” he asked incredulously. Lord Henry gave an amused smile. “Why, infidelity, of course. Good thing I did too; if I had waited until this evening, my grounds would no longer have stood, would they, doctor?”
Victoria pulled away a little, wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her robe. “What the devil is that supposed to mean, Henry,” she said angrily. Lord Henry shook his head. “We obviously, dear, the good doctor was coming to break off your affair. I’d know that look from a mile away, especially on a good Catholic.”
Seward’s blush betrayed the truth of Lord Henry’s observation. Victoria was now at as much of a loss as Seward. “Jack,” she whispered, “Jack, no…you weren’t…I hate you! You’re both nothing but awful brutes!” Before Seward could protest, she had fled past him and run up the stairs. Moments later a door slammed.
Lord Henry yawned. “She’ll get over it quickly,” he said, and retreated back into the study. Seward, however, had finally managed to recover. Angrily he followed Lord Henry. “What the hell are you trying to do?” he said through gritted teeth.
Lord Henry remained entirely calm. With an infuriating casualness, he settled himself into his favorite chair and pulled out a cigarette. He lit it, and took his time enjoying the first few puffs. Eventually, he looked back up at Seward. “My good doctor, do have a seat won’t you? Would you care for a cigarette?”
“I would like to know what sort of cruel game you are trying to play,” Seward replied, still standing. “For years you and Victoria have operated as though all marriage means is that you each wear a ring on your left hand, and now all of a sudden, this? What, did you just wake up one morning and decide ‘you know, I think I’d like a divorce with my eggs’?”
Lord Henry smiled amusedly. “I could try to explain it to you, but I doubt you would understand or accept my reasons. You’re far too moral, and you’d over analyze the whole thing anyway. Do take a seat.”
Seward sat tensely on the edge of the chair Lord Henry indicated. “It won’t stand anyway,” he said. “I am not sleeping with your wife.”
“You might as well; I’m certainly not.” The careless way in which Lord Henry said it still shocked Seward. “For the love of God, she’s your wife,” he said incredulously.
“A marriage of convenience which has grown inconvenient. Not that you’d understand such a concept, my dear doctor. And to anticipate your next question, no, I don’t particularly give a damn if you two want to have passionate trysts while I’m out carrying on my own scandalous liaisons. You might as well enjoy each other.”
“Unlike some people, I do not base my relationships entirely on physical intimacy,” said Seward pointedly. Lord Henry snorted. “I am quite certain of that. Have you ever even had sex?”
Seward was thrown so off-balance by this question that he nearly fell out of his chair. Lord Henry merely stubbed out his cigarette end in a nearby ashtray and lit another. After a long and awkward silence, he glanced over at Seward. “Well?”
“Yes, if you must know, I have. With a girl,” he added hastily, noticing the scheming glint in Lord Henry’s eye. The nobleman smirked. Seward ran a hand through his hair, returning it to its usual mussed state. This was definitely not how he had imagined this visit turning out, and it was growing worse by the minute. He was trying to think of an exit line, but his mind was entirely blank. He was contemplating simply getting up and bolting for the door when Lord Henry exhaled a smoke puff and spoke.
“Well, what was she like?” Seward jumped slightly at the question, being entirely disoriented. Lord Henry didn’t even glance over this time. “Was she young? Pretty? A whore? Come, man, you don’t think you’ll get away with admitting it without providing the juicy details, do you?” Seward felt like he was back at university, listening to his father grill him for every detail of his life while Art lingered nearby as moral support.
“I was an intern at the hospital, she was training to be a nurse, we fell in love,” he said quickly. Lord Henry’s silence seemed like an unpleasant cue to elaborate. “We were engaged, and one night I walked her to her flat and…well, didn’t leave until the next morning.”
“What ever happened to her?” said Lord Henry coolly.
“She died. Consumption. She knew she had the symptoms, but didn’t tell anyone until it was too late. It’s not an uncommon habit among members of the medical profession who fall ill, you see. It tends to make them…us…them feel like they’re not qualified-”
“Pity about her,” Lord Henry interrupted in a bored voice. “Better luck this time, eh?”
Two weeks later Arthur Holmwood was reading the morning paper when suddenly he spit out his tea. Quickly wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he blinked and reread the small article tucked among the other society gossip to make sure he wasn’t imagining things.
“Yesterday afternoon may well have hosted the most scandalous event of the year when Lord Henry Wotton escorted the former Lady Victoria Wotton directly from the courtroom in which their divorce was finalized to a nearby catherdral, when he gave her away in marriage to Dr. John Seward, the proprietor of the Asylum near Cairfax. The new Dr. and Mrs. Seward are reported to be traveling abroad in Amsterdam for their honeymoon. Lord Wotton refused to say anything about the matter.”
“I’ll be damned,” muttered Arthur.