Fic: Under Khonsu's Gaze [[Foreshipping]]
She could see him. Kneeling in the sand, trembling as he struggled to hold back his tears for just a few hours longer. He couldn't break down yet. He wasn't allowed to. Men who went through trials like Yugi and survive don't make it out only to crawl under a rock and cry himself to sleep. He was a man now. A man like Atem, proud and strong, unflinching as the strong desert sun burns relentlessly down on him. A man like the man he had always wanted to be.
A man who had just lost his best friend, and possibly something more. And to Yugi, Isis knew, that meant everything.
He was strong under the harsh rays of the sun; but here, under the moon's motherly gaze, Yugi didn't even have the strength to stand as his heart's sorrows were shamefully exposed. He clutched the sand beneath him , fruitlessly trying to latch onto the single grains as if they were solid, whole, real. But they just continued to slip through his clenched palms, over and over again until his hand's skin was raw from his nails digging into them repetitively.
She was there when the first tear ran down his cheek. She was there still when his tears transformed into strangled sobs that left him shaking. He didn't say a word, not even the name of his lost one as he mourned. Just heavy, staggered breaths. And, finally, after trying so hard to hold them back for so long: tears. In his extreme emotional turmoil, he didn't know that someone was watching over him in his suffering -and it was not the person he would've supposed it would be.
Isis had woken up in the middle of the night when she heard someone walking past her bedroom door in her small home in Cairo, where she and her family had extended an invitation to Yugi and his friends to spend the night after the Ceremonial Duel. They were all to fly back to Japan tomorrow morning (except for Kaiba, who of course already had a means of transportation in the form of a Blue-Eyes White-Dragon Jet - something that Malik could not keep a straight face while observing). Isis, curious a creature as she was, quietly threw on her night gown and flats at the sound of soft footsteps and investigated who was taking a stroll this late at night.
She couldn't say she was surprised when she saw the outline of a young man with distinctively spiky hair walk out the screened door. She had been watching Yugi carefully all evening, and she knew that despite the façade of smiles and solemn yet sturdy remarks he made to his friends about Atem's passing, he was hurting more than he was ready to tell, even to his closest friends. They could see the pain in his eyes, too, Isis could tell - but they continued the façade for the rest of the day, for Yugi's sake. They knew he wasn't ready. Isis knew too.
But when Yugi walked out that door and into the desert night, she followed him. It probably wasn't wise - she should leave Yugi to his own private mourning, she shouldn't interfere with matters of the heart that didn't concern her. But instead of heeding the advice of her wise apprehensions, she did something that was new for her: she ignored her sensible mind and decided to follow her heart instead. And her heart was telling her that now, more than ever, Yugi needed to know…
"Yugi…"
He choked a gasp at the sound of the Egyptian woman's smooth voice. "M-m-miss I-Isis -" He swerved around clumsily, attempting to get back on his feet, only to fall back down again. He was shaking like a leaf now. Isis, now worried and guilty about her decision to intrude on Yugi's private moment, kneeled down and placed her hands on his shoulders to help steady the young man in his weak frenzy. As her tan hands gently but firmly held Yugi upright, Isis couldn't help but think that Yugi didn't look at all like the King everyone was forcing him to be, but he didn't look like a child, either. He looked like a broken man. Like a man who lost everything in one fatal swoop, and who simply couldn't bear the strain on his heart anymore for it.
Yugi pressed his knuckles to his eyes, trying but failing to wipe away the tears that continued to sprout from them. Isis wanted to cry herself at the very sight. He had such beautiful eyes. Here, even under a radiating full moon, a veil of sadness had overpowered their beauty. Nothing can always be beautiful. People are born. People get hurt. People die. That was the way of life, Isis knew very well. But people can also heal. And beauty can return, if given the chance.
Isis knew about wounds of the heart. She had suffered many of them throughout her life, from the death of her mother to the betrayal of her brother. They left voids in her heart, some of which would never be filled. But some of them were. Yugi had filled one of those voids, little by little, unbeknownst to them both from the day they first met. His promise to her in Battle City, his promise that he would bring her brother back despite all the horrors he had undergone because of him was the start of it. She didn't understand how any human could be as selfless as Yugi. She still didn't understand now. How he could watch the man he loved walk through the doors of death and not even try to make him stay. How could one man be so self-sacrificing? How could he survive it?
It was simple: he wasn't surviving it. He was hurting, hurting so badly. And Isis didn’t know what to do.
What she did do was the last thing she ever thought she would do under Ra's great sky. She kissed him. Right there, kneeling in the desert sand, with no one else but the great Khonsu as her witness.
It was her first kiss. And to Isis, a woman in her twenties who never once before gave a passing thought to romance in her life, thought that one kiss was the closest thing to perfection she had ever encountered. She was enthralled; she was in bliss. The world around her faded away and there was nothing left but her and Yugi.
Unfortunately, Hathor's spell was broken the moment they pulled away. Isis blushed, a child of thirteen again in her embarrassment. She shouldn't have done that, she scolded herself, turning her head down in furious shame. It was selfish and impertinent and -
He kissed her back. Isis couldn't believe it. He kissed her back. But instead of resisting, she closed her eyes, put aside her exclamations, and lived completely within those heavenly moments spent in eternity. It was chaste in comparison to what today's standards of lovemaking were, but to Isis, that kiss was everything of love she ever wanted to know.
She opened her eyes as their lips parted, her vision almost hazy her mind was spinning so, and saw his eyes. They were beautiful all over again.
"I didn't know…" he whispered softly, hardly disturbing the silence that had blanketed them both throughout all of this.
"Neither did I" she whispered back. Yugi cracked a smile, the first genuine smile he had worn all day. Isis wanted to laugh for joy at the sight of it. Laugh at Khonsu and Hathor and Almightly Ra himself, over everything and nothing, all because of one small but beautiful smile.
Instead, Isis got to her feet for the first time in what felt like forever since that evening began. She offered her hand to the spiky-haired youth in the desert sand. He took it with a sincere grin, and with her help, got back on his feet as well.
They stood there in silence for a moment, looking into each other's eyes like they were something neither of them had ever seen before. Then Yugi looked away, caught in his own thoughts for a few seconds, before he turned back to Isis and asked:
"Did you love Atem?"
Isis was more than slightly taken aback by his question. It was about the last thing she was expecting to come out of his mouth.
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" she asked herself, not unkindly, but curiously. Yugi in turn blushed and looked at the sand beneath his feet.
"I thought I did," he murmured, barely loud enough to be heard. "Now I'm not so sure."
Isis smiled, and reached out to touch his cheek as he looked up into her eyes once again. "There's nothing wrong with being uncertain," she said softly. "I don't mind if you don't know what to make of this." She chuckled. "I'm not sure I do myself…"
Yugi smiled again, pressing his hand against hers that was against his cheek. "I'm sorry I asked you…I just thought -"
"It's not unreasonable to assume," said Isis. "You traveled with him through his memories, and you must have seen…" She sighed. "Yes, Yugi. In my past life, I did indeed love him."
"And in this life?"
Isis pulled her hand away from his cheek. She looked into the eyes of the man who saved the world so many times, the man who had defeated the Legendary Pharaoh and had become the true King of Games. The man who, after so many trials and burdens, still had room in his heart to fall in love again.
"I daresay," she whispered into his ear, "that I fell in love with a King after all."
A man who had just lost his best friend, and possibly something more. And to Yugi, Isis knew, that meant everything.
He was strong under the harsh rays of the sun; but here, under the moon's motherly gaze, Yugi didn't even have the strength to stand as his heart's sorrows were shamefully exposed. He clutched the sand beneath him , fruitlessly trying to latch onto the single grains as if they were solid, whole, real. But they just continued to slip through his clenched palms, over and over again until his hand's skin was raw from his nails digging into them repetitively.
She was there when the first tear ran down his cheek. She was there still when his tears transformed into strangled sobs that left him shaking. He didn't say a word, not even the name of his lost one as he mourned. Just heavy, staggered breaths. And, finally, after trying so hard to hold them back for so long: tears. In his extreme emotional turmoil, he didn't know that someone was watching over him in his suffering -and it was not the person he would've supposed it would be.
Isis had woken up in the middle of the night when she heard someone walking past her bedroom door in her small home in Cairo, where she and her family had extended an invitation to Yugi and his friends to spend the night after the Ceremonial Duel. They were all to fly back to Japan tomorrow morning (except for Kaiba, who of course already had a means of transportation in the form of a Blue-Eyes White-Dragon Jet - something that Malik could not keep a straight face while observing). Isis, curious a creature as she was, quietly threw on her night gown and flats at the sound of soft footsteps and investigated who was taking a stroll this late at night.
She couldn't say she was surprised when she saw the outline of a young man with distinctively spiky hair walk out the screened door. She had been watching Yugi carefully all evening, and she knew that despite the façade of smiles and solemn yet sturdy remarks he made to his friends about Atem's passing, he was hurting more than he was ready to tell, even to his closest friends. They could see the pain in his eyes, too, Isis could tell - but they continued the façade for the rest of the day, for Yugi's sake. They knew he wasn't ready. Isis knew too.
But when Yugi walked out that door and into the desert night, she followed him. It probably wasn't wise - she should leave Yugi to his own private mourning, she shouldn't interfere with matters of the heart that didn't concern her. But instead of heeding the advice of her wise apprehensions, she did something that was new for her: she ignored her sensible mind and decided to follow her heart instead. And her heart was telling her that now, more than ever, Yugi needed to know…
"Yugi…"
He choked a gasp at the sound of the Egyptian woman's smooth voice. "M-m-miss I-Isis -" He swerved around clumsily, attempting to get back on his feet, only to fall back down again. He was shaking like a leaf now. Isis, now worried and guilty about her decision to intrude on Yugi's private moment, kneeled down and placed her hands on his shoulders to help steady the young man in his weak frenzy. As her tan hands gently but firmly held Yugi upright, Isis couldn't help but think that Yugi didn't look at all like the King everyone was forcing him to be, but he didn't look like a child, either. He looked like a broken man. Like a man who lost everything in one fatal swoop, and who simply couldn't bear the strain on his heart anymore for it.
Yugi pressed his knuckles to his eyes, trying but failing to wipe away the tears that continued to sprout from them. Isis wanted to cry herself at the very sight. He had such beautiful eyes. Here, even under a radiating full moon, a veil of sadness had overpowered their beauty. Nothing can always be beautiful. People are born. People get hurt. People die. That was the way of life, Isis knew very well. But people can also heal. And beauty can return, if given the chance.
Isis knew about wounds of the heart. She had suffered many of them throughout her life, from the death of her mother to the betrayal of her brother. They left voids in her heart, some of which would never be filled. But some of them were. Yugi had filled one of those voids, little by little, unbeknownst to them both from the day they first met. His promise to her in Battle City, his promise that he would bring her brother back despite all the horrors he had undergone because of him was the start of it. She didn't understand how any human could be as selfless as Yugi. She still didn't understand now. How he could watch the man he loved walk through the doors of death and not even try to make him stay. How could one man be so self-sacrificing? How could he survive it?
It was simple: he wasn't surviving it. He was hurting, hurting so badly. And Isis didn’t know what to do.
What she did do was the last thing she ever thought she would do under Ra's great sky. She kissed him. Right there, kneeling in the desert sand, with no one else but the great Khonsu as her witness.
It was her first kiss. And to Isis, a woman in her twenties who never once before gave a passing thought to romance in her life, thought that one kiss was the closest thing to perfection she had ever encountered. She was enthralled; she was in bliss. The world around her faded away and there was nothing left but her and Yugi.
Unfortunately, Hathor's spell was broken the moment they pulled away. Isis blushed, a child of thirteen again in her embarrassment. She shouldn't have done that, she scolded herself, turning her head down in furious shame. It was selfish and impertinent and -
He kissed her back. Isis couldn't believe it. He kissed her back. But instead of resisting, she closed her eyes, put aside her exclamations, and lived completely within those heavenly moments spent in eternity. It was chaste in comparison to what today's standards of lovemaking were, but to Isis, that kiss was everything of love she ever wanted to know.
She opened her eyes as their lips parted, her vision almost hazy her mind was spinning so, and saw his eyes. They were beautiful all over again.
"I didn't know…" he whispered softly, hardly disturbing the silence that had blanketed them both throughout all of this.
"Neither did I" she whispered back. Yugi cracked a smile, the first genuine smile he had worn all day. Isis wanted to laugh for joy at the sight of it. Laugh at Khonsu and Hathor and Almightly Ra himself, over everything and nothing, all because of one small but beautiful smile.
Instead, Isis got to her feet for the first time in what felt like forever since that evening began. She offered her hand to the spiky-haired youth in the desert sand. He took it with a sincere grin, and with her help, got back on his feet as well.
They stood there in silence for a moment, looking into each other's eyes like they were something neither of them had ever seen before. Then Yugi looked away, caught in his own thoughts for a few seconds, before he turned back to Isis and asked:
"Did you love Atem?"
Isis was more than slightly taken aback by his question. It was about the last thing she was expecting to come out of his mouth.
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" she asked herself, not unkindly, but curiously. Yugi in turn blushed and looked at the sand beneath his feet.
"I thought I did," he murmured, barely loud enough to be heard. "Now I'm not so sure."
Isis smiled, and reached out to touch his cheek as he looked up into her eyes once again. "There's nothing wrong with being uncertain," she said softly. "I don't mind if you don't know what to make of this." She chuckled. "I'm not sure I do myself…"
Yugi smiled again, pressing his hand against hers that was against his cheek. "I'm sorry I asked you…I just thought -"
"It's not unreasonable to assume," said Isis. "You traveled with him through his memories, and you must have seen…" She sighed. "Yes, Yugi. In my past life, I did indeed love him."
"And in this life?"
Isis pulled her hand away from his cheek. She looked into the eyes of the man who saved the world so many times, the man who had defeated the Legendary Pharaoh and had become the true King of Games. The man who, after so many trials and burdens, still had room in his heart to fall in love again.
"I daresay," she whispered into his ear, "that I fell in love with a King after all."