Everyday is a whinding road, I get a little bit closer to feelin fine
I woke this morning to my cell phone ringing at five, I questioned the state of my mind to answer it but then only relized that it was because I had set that alarm to awaken me at the we morning hours. I grogly rolled over and turned it off and then tried to snuggle back into my covers, but the warmth had left in my attempt to silence my rude awakening. So I lay awake for about five minutes thinking about my speech today, thinking about baby, and thinking about how god awfuly tired I am.
I tentivly played with the my newly pierced tougne and then relized it was to sore to do that, so I merely flung myself out of bed onto the very cold floor and grabbed up my clothing, that had been needlessly tossed about the previous morning after deciding not to go to school, and made my way upstairs. I started my shower, then went to the kitchen and got and ice cube to suck on, hoping that it would be ok enough for my speech today.
After my shower I looked into the mirror, which I've looked into ever since the summer before sixth grade, and I suddenly noticed how changed I am. I am not the little girl that grew up in this house, no. I am supposedly becoming and adult, supposedly because that responsable young girl who knows how to look pretty and deal with life. But all I saw this morning was a girl with very wet hair that was sticking in every which direction and very pale skin.
I wanted to tell myself that this was as good as it got every morning, that I would be forever trapped in this awkward seventeen year old body, and hey maybe I will be who knows. But after I was done with my hair and my make up all I could think is damn, I clean up pretty good when i try and it felt so good to admitt that to myself. To finaly think I was pretty after all these months of hating everyone and everything, including myself.
Now I am just waiting here, waiting till I have to leaev for school to go give my speech in front of my english class. And yeah I am nervous but I am sure other people have fucked up worse then I will today. And you know me, if I do screw up I'll just ramble to make up for lost time. It won't be bad.
Today could be a good day.
I tentivly played with the my newly pierced tougne and then relized it was to sore to do that, so I merely flung myself out of bed onto the very cold floor and grabbed up my clothing, that had been needlessly tossed about the previous morning after deciding not to go to school, and made my way upstairs. I started my shower, then went to the kitchen and got and ice cube to suck on, hoping that it would be ok enough for my speech today.
After my shower I looked into the mirror, which I've looked into ever since the summer before sixth grade, and I suddenly noticed how changed I am. I am not the little girl that grew up in this house, no. I am supposedly becoming and adult, supposedly because that responsable young girl who knows how to look pretty and deal with life. But all I saw this morning was a girl with very wet hair that was sticking in every which direction and very pale skin.
I wanted to tell myself that this was as good as it got every morning, that I would be forever trapped in this awkward seventeen year old body, and hey maybe I will be who knows. But after I was done with my hair and my make up all I could think is damn, I clean up pretty good when i try and it felt so good to admitt that to myself. To finaly think I was pretty after all these months of hating everyone and everything, including myself.
Now I am just waiting here, waiting till I have to leaev for school to go give my speech in front of my english class. And yeah I am nervous but I am sure other people have fucked up worse then I will today. And you know me, if I do screw up I'll just ramble to make up for lost time. It won't be bad.
Today could be a good day.