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it's almost two in the morning, and i just walked in the door about ten minutes ago. i'm really glad i decided to put all my self-consciousness aside for the night and head up to the ground floor with shelly. i had a really fucking awsome time tonight! i'm sorry, but i never really go out and live, because i'm so worried about what people think and shit. well, i'm done with it. i had a great time, and i felt confident and sexy out there in the world. i'm finding i get along really well with shelly's friends, especially novi and gabe, if i just let down my guard and be myself. i gotta stop worrying about what people think so much. no good is gonna ever come of it, and it's been holding me back for so long now.
i saw courtney tonight, which is a girl i knew back in night school about two years ago. she hasn't changed a bit. she's still the same little goth beauty she always was, but doesn't know it. she's so gorgeous, and she needs to have confidence in herself. and she updated be on phil's status! i havn't seen phil in so long, and i've been thinking a lot about him lately. i really miss him. i'll probably make a casual trip to his new work place soon, and then maybe he'll see how "grown up" steph is. i'm no longer the shy little fifteen year old girl he once knew. i'm a woman now, and god knows i've always wanted phillip souser to notice me, lol. well, he will this time, i'm sure. if he doesn't, i'm just gonna have to make it impossible for him not to.
i don't really know what the plan is for tomarrow, but i'm gonna have to find something. it's really weird to say this, but sitting at the computer all day just doesn't satisfy me as much as it used to. and coming from stephanie, that's seriously a strange situation, lol.
well, i smell like smoke and i should probably get a shower before bed, so i'm off. g'night!
i saw courtney tonight, which is a girl i knew back in night school about two years ago. she hasn't changed a bit. she's still the same little goth beauty she always was, but doesn't know it. she's so gorgeous, and she needs to have confidence in herself. and she updated be on phil's status! i havn't seen phil in so long, and i've been thinking a lot about him lately. i really miss him. i'll probably make a casual trip to his new work place soon, and then maybe he'll see how "grown up" steph is. i'm no longer the shy little fifteen year old girl he once knew. i'm a woman now, and god knows i've always wanted phillip souser to notice me, lol. well, he will this time, i'm sure. if he doesn't, i'm just gonna have to make it impossible for him not to.
i don't really know what the plan is for tomarrow, but i'm gonna have to find something. it's really weird to say this, but sitting at the computer all day just doesn't satisfy me as much as it used to. and coming from stephanie, that's seriously a strange situation, lol.
well, i smell like smoke and i should probably get a shower before bed, so i'm off. g'night!