.:The Tragedy of the Human Condition:.
I'm shaking...
I ate 400 cals today. Just worked out...burned 200. I would have tried to burn 500, but I just don't have the energy. I'm nervous about Nov. 5. I'm going to the Counseling Center. I'm going for my depression. I already lied when they asked if I've ever self-injured, or ever thought I had/have an eating disorder... I hope they don't find out.
I guess I'm going because ...well... I just want to talk to someone (NOT about ana, though.) I just want someone to tell me what I can do to be a happier person.
Why am I depressed?
Right now:
-I'm depressed for a few reasons:
1. I want to be skinny. Is that SO much to ask?!? I've been working so hard...and I'm still at a disgusting weight of 166.
2. The tragedy of the human condition is the saddest thing ever. I'm an atheist. I truly believe that this world is all there is... It's a sad way to live, but I just can't fake "faith". Faith is just a concept that gives religious people an excuse...It gives them something to blame when things don't work out they way they want them to.
What the hell is my point in life? and if I have no point: Why am I wasting my time at school? I want to be traveling. I want to be in love. I want to start a family of my own, where I can raise my daughters to see themselves as beautiful. I want to experience LIFE. I don't want to be at school with a major that I'm not even sure about... I just feel like...if there is NO afterlife...then I am just wasting my time.
I ate 400 cals today. Just worked out...burned 200. I would have tried to burn 500, but I just don't have the energy. I'm nervous about Nov. 5. I'm going to the Counseling Center. I'm going for my depression. I already lied when they asked if I've ever self-injured, or ever thought I had/have an eating disorder... I hope they don't find out.
I guess I'm going because ...well... I just want to talk to someone (NOT about ana, though.) I just want someone to tell me what I can do to be a happier person.
Why am I depressed?
Right now:
-I'm depressed for a few reasons:
1. I want to be skinny. Is that SO much to ask?!? I've been working so hard...and I'm still at a disgusting weight of 166.
2. The tragedy of the human condition is the saddest thing ever. I'm an atheist. I truly believe that this world is all there is... It's a sad way to live, but I just can't fake "faith". Faith is just a concept that gives religious people an excuse...It gives them something to blame when things don't work out they way they want them to.
What the hell is my point in life? and if I have no point: Why am I wasting my time at school? I want to be traveling. I want to be in love. I want to start a family of my own, where I can raise my daughters to see themselves as beautiful. I want to experience LIFE. I don't want to be at school with a major that I'm not even sure about... I just feel like...if there is NO afterlife...then I am just wasting my time.