In Which Rachel and I Start Out Fretting About Comic Updates and End Up Speeding Bullet Paleshipping
Laj: I'm concerned about Medic's shady infirmary-garage. Is that a box of...straw?
What would he be doing with straw...unless Classic Sniper wants our Sniper stuffed and mounted as a trophy kill.
Rae: We'll have to wait and see! They want to keep us on the edge of our seats so who who knows!
No. No you stop that
Laj: I just hope it comes out at a time I can watch it conveniently. Like an evening when I have no work the next day. If it updates while I am at work you are to say NO WORDS beyond telling me it has updated. Otherwise the waiting will drive me insane.
Poor Sniper, stuffed and posed alongside all of the exotic animals in Classic Sniper's trophy room. They might use him as a coat rack.
Rae: No kidding. That'll will have us all anxious as heck. It has updated twice when I was at work the last two times and I was dying from the antici.....
Pation. Oh you know I won't spoil it. I'm not that big of an asshole. Nooooooooo they need to leave that poor horse faced goof alone!
Laj: Oh my god, Rae, was that a Rocky Horror reference? XD
Not even an "omg it hurts". No words. I will go insane. I will be frantically trying to fight the temptation to read it on my phone.
The Classic mercs will set him up alongside an actual stuffed horse and ask visitors if they can tell them apart, and then laugh about it.
Rae: You're darn right it was!
I'll just tell you that Ice T dies and we'll keep it at that.
I will figHT EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM NOOOOOOOO ;A;
Laj: :D Rose-tint my world, why doncha.
I can live with that.
Classic Heavy smirks at you and jerks his thumb over at Classic Sniper, who's wearing Sniper's aviators as well as a necklace made of his teeth.
Rae: I need to watch that movie again holy cow. Lots of movies I need to revisit.
Gather the fans (the sane ones please), we're going Classic hunting >:C
Laj: Me, too...I just got ahold of Ladyhawke for the first time in years...I should just recreate the '80s.
Jeeze, the levels of horrible taunting you could have with a stuffed trophy Sniper. Classic Heavy making comments about how he's a better coat rack than he ever was as a sniper.
Rae: I want to watch dredd again and try out maniac cop...get back into some good ol animations too
Gonna turn classic heavy into a bear skin rug
Laj: I have still never seen Akira.
Classic Heavy laughs at you and tells you in elaborate detail what Medic did with Sniper's innards after he gutted him to fill him with straw and preservatives.
Rae: Yooooooo same.
OAO this guy is going down. I hope someone makes a model of him for the VSH mode so people can fight him. What a butt.
Laj: Oh, wouldn't that be fun.
How awful would it be for Scout and Heavy to get there and demand to know where Sniper is, and Classic Heavy just laughs and says he'll take them to their loser friend. Then they get to the trophy room, and he asks them if he can take their coats.
Rae: Oh heck yes.
-screeches into the distance-
Laj: Kick his ass, baby. I've got your flower.
How would Heavy even react to Medic after that? And picture poor Scout crying, especially if he got a chance to take down Classic Sniper...and just sit there afterwards holding Sniper's sunglasses and crying.
Rae: Heavy would be seriously hurt. All KINDS of hurt. And scout...poor scout. Sniper had promised a week before this all broke out to take him fishing or hang around and have a cookout for the team or something.
Laj: His Medic sided with the people who killed a member of their little surrogate family and personally desecrated his corpse. Scout will insist they bury him properly, they can't just LEAVE him like that...he'd wear Sniper's sunglasses to the funeral to hide the fact that he was crying.
Rae: Good god scout would be a blubbering mess. He probably cared more for sniper than the rest of the team did.
Laj: He's the only one who seemed at all happy that they were going to Australia to find him. And he's the one Sniper goes to get tacos with. And plays cards with. And I don't care what people say, Sniper wasn't freaking out about his mirror BEFORE Scout made it out the window and broke it. And don't forget, Sniper was the one who jumped in to rescue Scout from the bread monster. Those two are bros. Scout wouldn't handle a dead stuffed Sniper well AT ALL.
Rae: Scout sees sniper as the older brother he's always wanted. Sure he has like 7 other brothers, but none of them cared about him as much or bothered to spend time with him. Sniper teaches scout how to hunt animals without guns and in return scout teaches him the secrets to a good card game. Scout would no doubt fly into a fit of rage over this.
Laj: And Sniper might be a huge hairy beast by ordinary standards, but he's scrawny and hairless to Aussies. He probably sees something of himself in Scout, at least enough to be sympathetic. And Scout never makes him carry a conversation...he can just sit back and listen while Scout tells him about comic book story lines or movies he's seen or that hot girl at the fried chicken place. Sniper probably spent a lot of his childhood relatively friendless and awkward, what with disliking fistfights and being unable to grow a moustache.
Rae: Maybe he sees scout as someone he wanted to be when he was younger. Eager to do things and fight if needed rather than running away. The difference being scout probably doesn't know when it's good for him to keep his mouth shut. On a warm day, the two could be found at the granary map soaking their feet, spitting watermelon seeds at each other while the rest of the team carries on in a water balloon fight with the BLUs.
Laj: Oh that's a really cute thought. So cute. ;3; So many feelings about Speeding Bullet bros.
Sniper sighs heavily when Scout runs his mouth when he shouldn't, but he'll also unleash hell on anybody who hurts him.
Scout tries to drag Sniper into snowball fights at the colder bases, but Sniper doesn't handle the cold well. He just wants to bundle up and grumble about how bloody cold it is.
Rae: Scout sighs dramatically any time sniper complains about the cold. During one of their transfers to a cold base, scout tosses a flat box sniper's way with a grumble of "Ma made it for you." Scout bothered his ma to make snipes a scarf thick enough to keep him somewhat warm. He even has her make him a matching one so he can brag about it. What a dork.
Laj: Scout's probably one of those people who runs around in snowstorms with his coat open. He's too hyper to be cold.
Oh lawd, so much sweet. And Sniper probably makes Scout say hello to his mum when he calls her. Sniper's mum probably sends Sniper cookies to share with his little mate. They can sit around eating cookies in their matching scarves.
Rae: And eventually catches a cold and sniper has to take care of the bugger. He makes him his ma's famous soups, guaranteed to chase a cold away. It's basically a really hearty lamb stew. Scout swears it is made from koalas.
Laj: Scout. Scout. If it was made from koalas, you might get chlamydia.
I really need to write that fic about Scout bothering/taking care of sick Sniper. Sick mercs and their bros is just too cute a mental picture.
...I also keep wanting to write a fic about Scout getting drunker than he planned at a bar some night and getting beaten up by some civilian college boys he managed to piss off, just so he can be humiliated enough to hide it, ultimately end up telling Sniper, and then Sniper going full-on creepy bushman on the perpetrators.
Rae: His joking is wasted on sniper. He just tells him to be quiet and eat his soup. Sniper would wait for them under a street lamp, sharpening his kukri. He'd challenge them to a fight with bushman's rules in play. The lads would of course ask what that means and as sniper slowly walks toward them, aviators gleaming from the light, he answers in that ridiculous growly voice that when he wins he will make a necklace from their teeth.
Laj: I feel like hearing those two bicker would be hilariously adorable. Also just imagine Scout trying to get out of bed while he's sick...he'd wind up with one of Sniper's big yaoi hands planted on his chest, gently shoving him back onto the mattress. One of his hands would cover Scout's whole chest with the fingers spread.
That of they'd all wake up tied to chairs in some abandoned warehouse with chloroform headaches. There would still be a Sniper in the shadows sharpening his kukri, though. He won't KILL them, Miss Pauling would have so much extra work, but he won't be at all upset if he makes them wet themselves in fear.
Rae: Scout would try to act all big and tough, but his constant sniffling and sneezing would ruin it for him. Sniper would just laugh and tell him to settle down.
The sound of the knife alone would probably cause some pants wetting. Hell his teeth would probably shine just as much as his aviators. Have you seen those canines?? Hot damn.
Laj: Scout grumbles about giant freakin' hands and pulls the blankets over his face.
The civilians probably have urban legends and crazy rumors about the mercenaries after all this time...they probably think Sniper wears sunglasses all the time to hide his lack of a soul, and that he skins people and makes clothes out of them. One knife-scrape in the dark and they'd all be sure they'd be pants by morning.
And yes, moonlight reflecting off of mirrored sunglasses and fangs alike would probably be high on the list of civilian nightmare images. And the knives, too...it's just a question of which gleam you notice first.
What would he be doing with straw...unless Classic Sniper wants our Sniper stuffed and mounted as a trophy kill.
Rae: We'll have to wait and see! They want to keep us on the edge of our seats so who who knows!
No. No you stop that
Laj: I just hope it comes out at a time I can watch it conveniently. Like an evening when I have no work the next day. If it updates while I am at work you are to say NO WORDS beyond telling me it has updated. Otherwise the waiting will drive me insane.
Poor Sniper, stuffed and posed alongside all of the exotic animals in Classic Sniper's trophy room. They might use him as a coat rack.
Rae: No kidding. That'll will have us all anxious as heck. It has updated twice when I was at work the last two times and I was dying from the antici.....
Pation. Oh you know I won't spoil it. I'm not that big of an asshole. Nooooooooo they need to leave that poor horse faced goof alone!
Laj: Oh my god, Rae, was that a Rocky Horror reference? XD
Not even an "omg it hurts". No words. I will go insane. I will be frantically trying to fight the temptation to read it on my phone.
The Classic mercs will set him up alongside an actual stuffed horse and ask visitors if they can tell them apart, and then laugh about it.
Rae: You're darn right it was!
I'll just tell you that Ice T dies and we'll keep it at that.
I will figHT EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM NOOOOOOOO ;A;
Laj: :D Rose-tint my world, why doncha.
I can live with that.
Classic Heavy smirks at you and jerks his thumb over at Classic Sniper, who's wearing Sniper's aviators as well as a necklace made of his teeth.
Rae: I need to watch that movie again holy cow. Lots of movies I need to revisit.
Gather the fans (the sane ones please), we're going Classic hunting >:C
Laj: Me, too...I just got ahold of Ladyhawke for the first time in years...I should just recreate the '80s.
Jeeze, the levels of horrible taunting you could have with a stuffed trophy Sniper. Classic Heavy making comments about how he's a better coat rack than he ever was as a sniper.
Rae: I want to watch dredd again and try out maniac cop...get back into some good ol animations too
Gonna turn classic heavy into a bear skin rug
Laj: I have still never seen Akira.
Classic Heavy laughs at you and tells you in elaborate detail what Medic did with Sniper's innards after he gutted him to fill him with straw and preservatives.
Rae: Yooooooo same.
OAO this guy is going down. I hope someone makes a model of him for the VSH mode so people can fight him. What a butt.
Laj: Oh, wouldn't that be fun.
How awful would it be for Scout and Heavy to get there and demand to know where Sniper is, and Classic Heavy just laughs and says he'll take them to their loser friend. Then they get to the trophy room, and he asks them if he can take their coats.
Rae: Oh heck yes.
-screeches into the distance-
Laj: Kick his ass, baby. I've got your flower.
How would Heavy even react to Medic after that? And picture poor Scout crying, especially if he got a chance to take down Classic Sniper...and just sit there afterwards holding Sniper's sunglasses and crying.
Rae: Heavy would be seriously hurt. All KINDS of hurt. And scout...poor scout. Sniper had promised a week before this all broke out to take him fishing or hang around and have a cookout for the team or something.
Laj: His Medic sided with the people who killed a member of their little surrogate family and personally desecrated his corpse. Scout will insist they bury him properly, they can't just LEAVE him like that...he'd wear Sniper's sunglasses to the funeral to hide the fact that he was crying.
Rae: Good god scout would be a blubbering mess. He probably cared more for sniper than the rest of the team did.
Laj: He's the only one who seemed at all happy that they were going to Australia to find him. And he's the one Sniper goes to get tacos with. And plays cards with. And I don't care what people say, Sniper wasn't freaking out about his mirror BEFORE Scout made it out the window and broke it. And don't forget, Sniper was the one who jumped in to rescue Scout from the bread monster. Those two are bros. Scout wouldn't handle a dead stuffed Sniper well AT ALL.
Rae: Scout sees sniper as the older brother he's always wanted. Sure he has like 7 other brothers, but none of them cared about him as much or bothered to spend time with him. Sniper teaches scout how to hunt animals without guns and in return scout teaches him the secrets to a good card game. Scout would no doubt fly into a fit of rage over this.
Laj: And Sniper might be a huge hairy beast by ordinary standards, but he's scrawny and hairless to Aussies. He probably sees something of himself in Scout, at least enough to be sympathetic. And Scout never makes him carry a conversation...he can just sit back and listen while Scout tells him about comic book story lines or movies he's seen or that hot girl at the fried chicken place. Sniper probably spent a lot of his childhood relatively friendless and awkward, what with disliking fistfights and being unable to grow a moustache.
Rae: Maybe he sees scout as someone he wanted to be when he was younger. Eager to do things and fight if needed rather than running away. The difference being scout probably doesn't know when it's good for him to keep his mouth shut. On a warm day, the two could be found at the granary map soaking their feet, spitting watermelon seeds at each other while the rest of the team carries on in a water balloon fight with the BLUs.
Laj: Oh that's a really cute thought. So cute. ;3; So many feelings about Speeding Bullet bros.
Sniper sighs heavily when Scout runs his mouth when he shouldn't, but he'll also unleash hell on anybody who hurts him.
Scout tries to drag Sniper into snowball fights at the colder bases, but Sniper doesn't handle the cold well. He just wants to bundle up and grumble about how bloody cold it is.
Rae: Scout sighs dramatically any time sniper complains about the cold. During one of their transfers to a cold base, scout tosses a flat box sniper's way with a grumble of "Ma made it for you." Scout bothered his ma to make snipes a scarf thick enough to keep him somewhat warm. He even has her make him a matching one so he can brag about it. What a dork.
Laj: Scout's probably one of those people who runs around in snowstorms with his coat open. He's too hyper to be cold.
Oh lawd, so much sweet. And Sniper probably makes Scout say hello to his mum when he calls her. Sniper's mum probably sends Sniper cookies to share with his little mate. They can sit around eating cookies in their matching scarves.
Rae: And eventually catches a cold and sniper has to take care of the bugger. He makes him his ma's famous soups, guaranteed to chase a cold away. It's basically a really hearty lamb stew. Scout swears it is made from koalas.
Laj: Scout. Scout. If it was made from koalas, you might get chlamydia.
I really need to write that fic about Scout bothering/taking care of sick Sniper. Sick mercs and their bros is just too cute a mental picture.
...I also keep wanting to write a fic about Scout getting drunker than he planned at a bar some night and getting beaten up by some civilian college boys he managed to piss off, just so he can be humiliated enough to hide it, ultimately end up telling Sniper, and then Sniper going full-on creepy bushman on the perpetrators.
Rae: His joking is wasted on sniper. He just tells him to be quiet and eat his soup. Sniper would wait for them under a street lamp, sharpening his kukri. He'd challenge them to a fight with bushman's rules in play. The lads would of course ask what that means and as sniper slowly walks toward them, aviators gleaming from the light, he answers in that ridiculous growly voice that when he wins he will make a necklace from their teeth.
Laj: I feel like hearing those two bicker would be hilariously adorable. Also just imagine Scout trying to get out of bed while he's sick...he'd wind up with one of Sniper's big yaoi hands planted on his chest, gently shoving him back onto the mattress. One of his hands would cover Scout's whole chest with the fingers spread.
That of they'd all wake up tied to chairs in some abandoned warehouse with chloroform headaches. There would still be a Sniper in the shadows sharpening his kukri, though. He won't KILL them, Miss Pauling would have so much extra work, but he won't be at all upset if he makes them wet themselves in fear.
Rae: Scout would try to act all big and tough, but his constant sniffling and sneezing would ruin it for him. Sniper would just laugh and tell him to settle down.
The sound of the knife alone would probably cause some pants wetting. Hell his teeth would probably shine just as much as his aviators. Have you seen those canines?? Hot damn.
Laj: Scout grumbles about giant freakin' hands and pulls the blankets over his face.
The civilians probably have urban legends and crazy rumors about the mercenaries after all this time...they probably think Sniper wears sunglasses all the time to hide his lack of a soul, and that he skins people and makes clothes out of them. One knife-scrape in the dark and they'd all be sure they'd be pants by morning.
And yes, moonlight reflecting off of mirrored sunglasses and fangs alike would probably be high on the list of civilian nightmare images. And the knives, too...it's just a question of which gleam you notice first.