I'm not a people person...
Really, I’m not. I’m strongly introverted, tend to have few close friends, and even fewer I let in to see “the real” me...
Which is probably why betrayal is so hard for me to deal with.
But when it come to interacting with others, well I in general would rather interact with my books, or my animals, because they can’t hurt me back in the way so many others have....
So betrayal turns to bitterness, and bitterness either drives others away, or drives me into myself. The vicious circle commences. I become cynical, mistrustful, and seeing only the bad in others...
I can try to believe some really do care, but then, why do I fell like the one shunned? Why does it hurt so?
If I'm expecting the gossiping, and petty bull, it's ok, but when I think folks are really friends, I somehow expect better from them.
So instead, I'm left either wearing a mask, or making myself vulnerable to being hurt, and starting the cycle again. Otherwise I hide in my small group of friends, and try to avoid having my entire world view turned upside down and inside out.
Which is probably why betrayal is so hard for me to deal with.
But when it come to interacting with others, well I in general would rather interact with my books, or my animals, because they can’t hurt me back in the way so many others have....
So betrayal turns to bitterness, and bitterness either drives others away, or drives me into myself. The vicious circle commences. I become cynical, mistrustful, and seeing only the bad in others...
I can try to believe some really do care, but then, why do I fell like the one shunned? Why does it hurt so?
If I'm expecting the gossiping, and petty bull, it's ok, but when I think folks are really friends, I somehow expect better from them.
So instead, I'm left either wearing a mask, or making myself vulnerable to being hurt, and starting the cycle again. Otherwise I hide in my small group of friends, and try to avoid having my entire world view turned upside down and inside out.