the weird continues
So last Friday was attack of the needy boys. I prefer them one on one not three at a time. I have no idea how I survived that night but I did. It helped me to reinforce that I can't continue to live my life this way. Hopefully things will calm down after the first of the year. Even better if it's a little sooner. But that lays in the hands of people other than me.
Yesterday was another one of those days where things just felt off. Work was hectic due to a fundraiser that didn't actually manage to raise any funds. My boss has laid down the law on late lunches. We must both be done by 2pm now. I'm OK with that but I like the option to work through my lunch sometimes to get off early. Oh well.
Played Talisman with Ken, Teri, Steve and Chase last night. Jess and Phil were there for the beginning but Jess was attacked by the stomach monster and had to bail out. I actually won my first game last night. It was a fantastic fight to the finish. I loved it. Got home to find that the cross beam on my bed was in four different pieces. I finally just said fuck and had Mike and Token tear the thing apart for me. So now my matress is on the ground. I'm playing with the idea of looking over craigs list instead of buying one brand new again. But I really want a wrought iron bed. Or at least one that looks like wrought iron so we'll see what happens.
After all that Token annouced that he is moving out. He wants to be out by mid-november but he is still paying rent for the whole month of November. He talked to Durwood last night and Daddy graciously agreed to take the soon to be vacated room. I'm sad to see Token go. This was a dream that he and I shared for a pretty good portion of last year. We were really looking forward to it and I think if we had stuck to our original plan things would have been fine.
I love my brother, but this was supposed to be the year that he and I finally pulled away from each other and stood as two separate people. Me no longer mommying him and him no longer leaning on me to take care of him. I can give him shit about being co-dependant all I want but I know I am the exact same way. I can't function unless I have someone to take care of. I'm trying to get better about that but it is an ingrained habit that is really hard to break. I usually don't realize I'm doing it until I have already started taking care of someone. And by that time I feel so guilty if I don't follow through that it just becomes a vicious circle.
But back to the previous topic. I'm sad to see Token go but this may be good for the house. We will be using the transition as an opportunity to affect some changes. Moving away from the "hippy commune" that I've always thought I wanted to the more normal living situation that people our age seem to have. I also finally put my foot down and told Mikael that no matter what he has to be out by the first of the year. I think he is freaking out a little bit.
I know that we are going to have to go over a few more things before Durwood actually moves in because we all need to be on the same page. I'm tired of being the go between. Again, it's something I did to myself but everyone tells me to man up and take care of me so those same people need to stop being mad at me when I actually try to do so. I need to shut my damn brain off and just let people be mad at me. that's the hardest part out of all of this.
gah! I need to get back to work. Oh wait, I have maybe an hour's worth of work to do today. I need to go find more coffee.
Yesterday was another one of those days where things just felt off. Work was hectic due to a fundraiser that didn't actually manage to raise any funds. My boss has laid down the law on late lunches. We must both be done by 2pm now. I'm OK with that but I like the option to work through my lunch sometimes to get off early. Oh well.
Played Talisman with Ken, Teri, Steve and Chase last night. Jess and Phil were there for the beginning but Jess was attacked by the stomach monster and had to bail out. I actually won my first game last night. It was a fantastic fight to the finish. I loved it. Got home to find that the cross beam on my bed was in four different pieces. I finally just said fuck and had Mike and Token tear the thing apart for me. So now my matress is on the ground. I'm playing with the idea of looking over craigs list instead of buying one brand new again. But I really want a wrought iron bed. Or at least one that looks like wrought iron so we'll see what happens.
After all that Token annouced that he is moving out. He wants to be out by mid-november but he is still paying rent for the whole month of November. He talked to Durwood last night and Daddy graciously agreed to take the soon to be vacated room. I'm sad to see Token go. This was a dream that he and I shared for a pretty good portion of last year. We were really looking forward to it and I think if we had stuck to our original plan things would have been fine.
I love my brother, but this was supposed to be the year that he and I finally pulled away from each other and stood as two separate people. Me no longer mommying him and him no longer leaning on me to take care of him. I can give him shit about being co-dependant all I want but I know I am the exact same way. I can't function unless I have someone to take care of. I'm trying to get better about that but it is an ingrained habit that is really hard to break. I usually don't realize I'm doing it until I have already started taking care of someone. And by that time I feel so guilty if I don't follow through that it just becomes a vicious circle.
But back to the previous topic. I'm sad to see Token go but this may be good for the house. We will be using the transition as an opportunity to affect some changes. Moving away from the "hippy commune" that I've always thought I wanted to the more normal living situation that people our age seem to have. I also finally put my foot down and told Mikael that no matter what he has to be out by the first of the year. I think he is freaking out a little bit.
I know that we are going to have to go over a few more things before Durwood actually moves in because we all need to be on the same page. I'm tired of being the go between. Again, it's something I did to myself but everyone tells me to man up and take care of me so those same people need to stop being mad at me when I actually try to do so. I need to shut my damn brain off and just let people be mad at me. that's the hardest part out of all of this.
gah! I need to get back to work. Oh wait, I have maybe an hour's worth of work to do today. I need to go find more coffee.