The Impossible Boy
The Impossible Boy
When Stiles was eight, his mother died. He didn’t really understand it at the time but it left a huge hole in his life, in his heart. When Stiles was at his mother’s funeral, surrounded by people in yellow (it was her favourite colour) who were silently sobbing, he looked past the casket that held his mother’s body, past the priest who was talking about things he didn’t understand and into the distance. In the dark woods stood a man, he wore tattered clothes and had a knowing expression on his peculiar face. He rested casually against a large blue police box, offering Stiles a kind smile.
Stiles looked around at the grieving faces, he looked to Scott who stood beside him, hand clutched tightly in his own. No one else saw the raggedy man leaning against his blue box, no one ever believed him either and eventually Stiles stopped believing it too.
Now he’s seventeen years old and he doesn’t really think about that day, it’s far too painful, he pushed it into a dark room and locked the door, never to be opened again. But if he thought about that day now, after discovering werewolves he might believe in his raggedy man again. He doesn’t think about it though, and doesn’t remember, just keeps on forgetting when he really should remember. It’s a very lonely summer, Scott has grown close to Isaac, Lydia is back with Jackson and there is an Alpha pack circling Beacon Hills, ready to destroy the peace that has only just been restored.
It’s painfully lonely. All of his doubts and fears keep him awake at night, keep his thoughts tumbling widely. He is useless and he is alone. He is human and does not matter to a town full of wolves. He is just a boy. With a deep sigh Stiles heaves himself to his feet, he’s been sitting alone in the woods for far too long, it’s getting late and it’s not safe here, it’s not safe anywhere. He’s half way to his Jeep when he sees it, a glimpse of blue in the corner of his eye, his heart lurches into his throat and he spins around so fast that he makes himself dizzy.
But it is worth, so worth it, because amongst the leaves and thorny branches is the most amazing thing he’s ever seen. It’s old and it’s new, it’s familiar and unfamiliar and it makes him shake with joy, with repressed grief. He runs towards it, before it can vanish again, leaving him to question his sanity. He practically collides into it in desperation to make sure that this… this is not a dream, that it is as real as the sun beating down on him and the ground beneath his feet.
The wood is smooth and cool beneath his touch, it’s impossibly smooth for wood but he doesn’t question it, just keeps feeling it, afraid it will disappear again. Finally he takes a step back, gazing at this marvellous thing that is so out of place here but it feels just right, like it was always here. Waiting. For him.
“She’s beautiful isn’t she?”
Stiles starts, turning around to face his raggedy man, he looks exactly the same, hasn’t aged one day. “Yes.” Maybe he should be afraid, maybe he should call for help but in truth, he’s never felt so safe in his whole life. “I thought… I thought I imagined you.”
“Sometimes I think I’ve imagined myself” the man, the strange man fixes his bowtie, he steps closer to the teen and offers his hand. “I’m The Doctor and you are Genim Stilinski but you prefer Stiles and I have been watching over you, like an angel, you could say” the man, The Doctor leans down, Stiles can stare right into his eyes, they seem so old for a man so young. “Would you like to see the universe, Stiles?”
He says yes, of course he says yes, which seems kind of silly because he knows nothing about this man, this doctor but something is screaming at him, telling him to say yes, just say yes. He steps into The Doctor’s blue box, his TARDIS, and it’s incredible. After all he’s seen he isn’t fazed by the fact it’s bigger on the inside, amazed yes but freaked out? No. He is excited, so very excited and he can’t contain his joy, he has been waiting for his raggedy man, his raggedy doctor to return to him.
The Doctor shows him the future and the past. He shows him places he never dreamt could exist. They get into trouble, they nearly die, Stiles gets kidnapped by some weird alien race and the doctor has to save him but it goes all wrong and he ends up saving the doctor. He meets Winston Churchill and gives him the speech about going through hell, so yeah, he kinda made that saying not Churchill and it makes him proud. It’s World War II when they meet Churchill and they discover the Daleks. They don’t seem threatening at first, Stiles insults one, calling it a retarded washing machine then they turn and start screaming ‘exterminate’ and Stiles takes it back, he takes it all back.
They all survive though and afterwards when they’re safe in the TARDIS, drifting through space and time, The Doctor asks Stiles if he wants to go home, he says no, of course he says no, his raggedy man needs him and there is still so much to see. The TARDIS takes them to The Delirium Archive where they find a message from a woman named River Song; they head to Alfava Metraxis where they discover River Song and a team of men planning to board a crashed ship in search of a weeping angel. It’s a dangerous mission but of course they are going, they need The Doctor’s help and where The Doctor goes, Stiles goes.
It’s one hell of an adventure, only Stiles, The Doctor and River Song make it out alive and Stiles was so very close to not making it all. He doesn’t want to go home yet, he’s not sure he ever wants to go home. Because The Doctor tells him that he’s important, that he is extraordinary and so very brilliant, he matters, he fits in and it’s all he ever wanted. So they keep travelling, they go to Venice, Italy, the year is 1580. Everything is perfectly normal until they discover vampires, VAMPIRES! Who are taking young men and woman and turning them so they can rebuild their race. There is a lot of running, seriously all Stiles does these days is run but God he loves it, he never wants to stop.
The defeat the vampires, like the heroes they are, enjoy the scenery of Venice and away they go again. Up, up and away. Stiles meets Vincent van Gogh, gets stuck by himself in the TARDIS for a week while The Doctor is stuck on earth trying to figure out what is going on in a seemingly ordinary apartment. Turns out, the second floor is home to a crashed spaceship but never fear The Doctor is here. While the Doctor is stuck on earth and Stiles is in an out of control TARDIS, might possible die or be lost in space forever, he starts to think about home.
Time travel is an odd thing, you can be gone for weeks or months and when you return it’s like you’ve never been gone at all. They’ll never miss him, never believe him when he tells them about all he’s seen, he could never tell his father, he’d drop dead if he knew where and what Stiles had been doing. He wonders what they’re doing but they are most likely doing the exact same thing as they were before Stiles left all those weeks ago. He’ll vanish into thin air, leave no trace behind but they’ll never know, never worry. Even if they did, well they wouldn’t really miss him, he wasn’t a werewolf, he wasn’t important, not then anyway.
Now he is, now he is The Doctor’s Impossible Boy.
It’s a Sunday afternoon and they are sitting on a beach in Australia, having fish and chips in the year 1995. It’s a random date, a random place but it’s perfect, these moments where they are not in mortal danger are always nice. They are sitting side by side, The Doctor occasionally touches a part of Stiles, a leg or a hand or he’ll pull him against his side and kiss his hair, which is getting long and unruly. They stay like this for a long time, they are in no rush. They truly do have all the time in the world.
“Do you miss home?” The Doctor inquired, running a hand down the boys back.
“Yes, I miss my dad and Scott” he replied, leaning into the touch “but I’d miss this.”
“We can go say hello, you know, pop by and off we go again.”
Stiles turns to face the doctor, staring evenly into his eye “You wouldn’t leave me there, would you?”
The Doctor grins, all heart and warmth. “Where would I be without my extraordinary boy?”
So they decide to return to Beacon Hills, but the TARDIS has other plans. They find themselves in the roaring fifties and it’s glitz and glamour and murder. They also run into River again, Stiles likes River, she reminds him of his mother in so many ways. The body count rises and the trio set out to find what is killing innocent people in such a grizzly way. It takes a little over four days to discover that the killers are beasts from the planet Spiron, Stiles dubs them lizard-dogs, because it’s what they look like and they must be related to the Kanima. (He takes a photo for Jackson.) In the end The Doctor offers them a choice, stop killing and leave or be destroyed.
They, sadly, take the last option and they are forced to kill them in order to keep the world safe, it breaks the Doctor’s heart and he is quiet for days. Eventually Stiles just gives him a bone crushing hug and he starts smiling again. When they land, the year is 2011 and they are in Cardiff, Wales, it seems very ordinary but Stiles knows nothing is what it seems. They meet a man named Jack Harkness who is the leader of a secret group called Torchwood and he flirts with everyone shamelessly and Stiles is weirdly ok with it.
Jack travels with them for a few weeks, flirts with Stiles every day and yeah, Stiles likes it, have you seen Jack? He’s Captain Sexy. In the end he must go, he has duties to attend to, a team waiting for him and once again it’s just Stiles and the Doctor. It’s the 17th Century when Stiles is nearly killed, he’s stabbed by a pirate and if he wasn’t bleeding out he’d find it really cool but right now he’s choking on his own blood and the Doctor is screaming at him to hold on. The Doctor is always calm, but now there are tears in those old, old eyes and he his pleading for Stiles to hold, to just hold on.
He’s going to die.
He wakes up in a hospital and there are cat people telling him that he’s alright and his raggedy man is holding his hand tightly, kissing his forehead, his cheeks, his hands and lastly his lips. It’s just a whisper but it says ‘I love you. You’re my and extraordinary boy. I am so very sorry for letting this happen to you.’ He’s eyes say it’s time to go home and Stiles’ heart agrees. Stiles stays in the hospital for a week, the Doctor never leaves his side, even though he gets restless and bored and when he gets like this he annoys the crap out of the nurses and the real doctors.
Stiles shuts him up with a kiss on the second day and he doesn’t understand what he feels for the doctor, it’s so complicated and surreal. He’s sure he’ll never make sense of these feelings but at the time it feels like the right thing to do. So there is a lot of kissing and snuggling and when he is discharged and ready to leave, this city, this planet, this time, he doesn’t want to go.
“It’s time” is all the doctor says as he moves about flicking switches and pulling leavers.
Stiles sighs and takes a seat, watches the doctor rush around to keep the TARDIS steady, seriously Stiles is sure he can fly this thing better than he can. “Will you come visit me?”
The doctor stops his dance, walks over to the teen and cups his face in his large hands, resting his forehead against his. “Of course I will.”
They close the space between them, the kiss is tender but fierce, it’s their way of saying ‘please don’t go’ ‘I’ll miss you’ and ‘I love you’. They are so lost in the moment that they don’t realise they have arrived, back where they began all those months ago.
“Let me walk you home” the doctor whispers, breath ghosting across the teens face “a gentlemen always walks his date to the front door.”
Stiles laughs, “This has been one hell of a date.”
“I tend to go to all extremes to impress those that I like.”
With one last press of the lips Stiles pulls away before he never can. He runs outside and almost falls face first into the ground, there is a steady hand keeping him upright, a raggedy man shaking his head at him. Not that the doctor could talk, this man seriously has no control over his limbs at times and talk about eccentric, he gives Stiles a run for his money. He takes the offered hand for one last time and together they make the trek through the woods, to where Stiles’ Jeep is waiting patiently for him at the edge of the woods, it’s as if he has never been away.
They don’t talk as they drive, Stiles isn’t sure what he’d say anyway. What can he say to the man who showed him so much? He supposed a thank you would be welcomed but it doesn’t seem like enough, no words seem enough. The Doctor watches the world pass by, this little town must seem so dull compared to the things this man has seen, to Stiles nothing will ever be as magnificent as traveling with the doctor. But he has to go home, it’s already been seven months and if he stays any longer he’ll never return and that minute will turn into an hour then days, weeks and years and he will be missed. As much as he loves the doctor, his raggedy man, he can’t do that to his father, he’s all he has left.
Stiles can see his house, red brick and white windows, the grass in need of mowing, it’s exactly the same as it was all that time ago. The Jeep comes to a stop in the driveway, it’s time to get out, say goodbye but he can’t, he just can’t. The Doctor is intrigued with the interior of the Jeep, he’s intrigued with everything really, but this is only fake interest, he’s holding off the goodbye for as long as he can. Stiles wants to ask him to stay, to stay forever but that would be selfish of him, there are too many people who need the doctor’s help. Instead he just takes his hand and squeezes.
“I don’t want to say goodbye” Stiles starts, fighting back tears “but it’s time, I know it’s time but it doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
The Doctor tightens his grip. “I am so glad you came with me, Genim. I am so happy that I got to show you such wonderful things and that I got to experience them with you. I am so glad that I got to a chance to meet you, to be with you.”
He blinks back tears, swallowing the heartache in his chest, “Why’d you choose me, out of everyone, why me?”
The doctor turns in his seat, grasping Stiles’ face in his warm hands, those lovely old eyes boring into Stiles’ soul. “I once saw a little boy who was burying his mother and out of everyone there, only you saw me. I saw an impossible boy and I want to share the universe with him so very much. In a way, it was selfish of me to come for you, to rip you out of your life and throw you into mine. I knew you could be hurt and I am very sorry I was right about that.”
Stiles nuzzles at the doctors neck, breathing in the familiar scent before throwing his arms around him in a crushing hug. “Don’t ever feel selfish Doctor, because you’re not, you’re the best man I’ve ever known.”
The time lord pressed a kiss to the top of his head, blinking away his own tears, he hated goodbyes. “If you ever need me just shout, I will hear you, no matter how many years or planets away from here I am, I will always come to you.”
“I know” it took all that Stiles had to let go of the doctor, with each inch a new tear fell, each breath grew harder to take. “Come back to me one day raggedy man, please.”
The doctor gave him one last kiss; it was fierce and desperate but still tender and loving. “I will, I promise but I still need to walk you to the door.”
Stiles lets out a laugh that is more a sob but the doctor gets out of the car, walks slowly towards Stiles side and opens the door, a small smile on his handsome face. They walk hand and hand to the door, Stiles unlocks it and pushes the door open, it squeaks just like it did this morning. When the doctor goes, a piece of his heart will be going with him; he can already feel it missing. He wants to cry, to say ‘screw it’ and go back to the TARDIS with his raggedy man and explore space and time for the rest of his life. But if anything ever happened to him the doctor could never forgive himself, that’s truly why Stiles was saying goodbye.
“I’ll keep the kettle filled” he says quietly “I know how you love your tea and biscuits.”
“And I will bring you scones from that little tiny café in New, New York” he grinned, how he’d miss that grin.
“It’s a date.”
The Doctor nodded, grin gone and heartache clear in his eyes “It’s a date.”
With that the doctor leaves, disappearing with his time machine and leaving no trace. Stiles falls apart for some time, everyone worries about him, they try to cheer him up but they really have no idea how too, when they don’t even know what’s wrong. It’s been a month since his raggedy man left and Stiles is doing a little better but he misses him so much, he misses that smile, his silly bowties and his endless chatter, most of all he misses his kiss.
Its midnight when someone climbs through his window and in the haze of sleep he jumps out of bed and throws his arm around his doctor but everything is wrong though, this is not his doctor. It’s not tall enough, not thin enough, it’s just not enough. He flings backwards like he’s been burnt, holding back his fear, the sob of disappointment in his throat. The light is switched on to reveal a very concerned looking Derek, he must be seriously moping if Derek is concerned.
“Are you ok?”
He never expected Derek Hale of all people to ask him that, to even care if he was ok, but right now he couldn’t hold back his pain any longer. So he told him everything and Derek never said a word, never said he was crazy or stupid, he just listened. As he retold each tale, in great detail, he felt some of the weight lift from his shoulders, he missed the doctor a little less. By morning light he’d told Derek everything, start to finish and he finally felt home.
XxX
Stiles is eighteen and half when the doctor returns, still wearing the same brown jacket, a silly bowtie and a goofy grin on his never aging face. He greets Stiles with a kiss; it almost knocks him off his feet, sending him back to the time that he travelled the universe with this man. Derek growls at him, eyes flashing red and Stiles thinks he might attack but he reigns in the wolf and offers his hand for the doctor to shake. When the doctor is ready to leave in a few days Stiles tells him how he and Derek have grown close, how they have something, it’s not a crush like he had on Lydia Martin and it’s not that complicated mess of feelings like he had for the doctor. It’s… it’s what love is supposed to feel like.
But right now the doctor his introducing himself to the pack and they are utterly stunned because now they get it, now they get why Stiles was so heartbroken. There isn’t much time for small talk though; the doctor has his hands on Stiles’ shoulders, he has that look in his eyes, that excited and wild look and there is a mischievous grin that says something is here, it could be dangerous but it’s sure as hell going to be fun.
His raggedy man’s grin breaks into a wide smile and he utters just one word. “Geronimo.”