(no subject)
You know when you have a friend that you don't think loves you, or cares about...it weighs on your spirit. Well my friends I ended up talking to my friend Tim about it unknowing that Bryan was standing there right behind him reading what I was writing. So it basically ended with me saying Does he care about me or not and his response was "Sometimes its the unspoken things that mean the most." I don't know friends what do you think? is that a good thing or not? Why should I care about the friendship if he doesn't? Why should I cry a tear when he doesn't blink an eye? Why should I fear losing him which he would be fine w/o me. Its so hard my friends...seeming like i'm fighting a losing battle. Well yeah we ended up discussing this and having a huge fight where we almost lost the friendship. I was talking to a friend of mine and I asked him if we lost our friendship would he still be my friend. Well that friend told Bryan who flipped out. He told Shari...basically he had enough and he didn't want to be friends anymore. So I told Bryan that I was watching a movie and I was curious. He calmed down and we ended up discussing what we had issues with. I should have let him go but why didn't I? I don't know. The thing is I think sometimes my life would be better w/o Bryan but then I think it wouldn't be. I don't know what I want or how I feel. So I want our friendship to end when I say it does or when I feel as though I've had enough. I want/need to be the one who has control over it and who decides whether or not I want it to end. URG my life is soo confusing!!