Fanfiction: As Time Goes By (Oneshot)
***
Miya knew he had fucked up.
He didn't even need to read the entire letter to know that he had fucked up…big time.
As such, there were a few figures in the books that didn't make sense, and that he had also somehow forgotten to put in an order with one of their suppliers.
Usually that wouldn't be an issue, but this was the only supplier in town that carried the ridiculously expensive Black Pearl limited edition cognac. Thus, the club wouldn't be able to carry it for at least three weeks, a blow since it was their best seller. Miya would have to utilise all his best black market contacts to even secure two bottles.
In the grand scheme of things, it wasn't an extremely big slip. But Miya knew that Nishimura had spies everywhere, even in Café Americain. People who were envious of the pull he had with Tatsurou, who were waiting for the slightest opportunity to take him down.
Miya knew that it wouldn't take long for the vultures to circle. Hence why he wasn't surprised that night when Kaoru walked into the club, bad news had the tendency to travel at light speed. At least he was sans Toshiya, which brought a small measure of comfort.
It didn't help that he and Tatsurou had been avoiding each other for the better part of the week. No doubt, they would take it as another sign that the two best friends were on the outs.
Regardless of that, Miya wished he could claim it to be entirely Tatsurou’s doing, that the taller man had been avoiding him out of guilt. But Miya knew he wasn't entirely blameless in the entire matter, knowing that he had let the evening get out of hand.
Certainly Tatsurou shouldered most of the blame and he was certainly not condoning it, but Miya wasn't really angry although he had every right to be. More than anything he was confused.
Miya had always considered himself straight as an arrow. He wasn't self-proclaimed omnisexual Tatsurou who bent whichever way the prevailing wind was blowing.
So to be faced with the prospect that he held some kind of sexual attraction, even while intoxicated, for his best friend had fucked with his mind, affecting his normally smooth running of the club and even seeping into his piano playing.
“Come on Miya, that sounds like a funeral march, play something a little more upbeat will you.”
The drunken suggestion came from a pot-bellied American sitting to his left, surrounded by a number of giggling girls in short skirts. Miya’s skin rankled at the jibe, but the man was one of Café Americain’s best customers so he just bit his tongue and reached for new sheet music.
“Put some life into it Miya, its like someone died in here. And even then, at least have the decency to serve my favourite cognac at the wake,” the American smirked to rancorous laughter from the nearby table, who found his half-assed joke somewhat amusing.
Miya inwardly fumed at the sting, even more when he caught the satisfied smirk on Kaoru’s face, which made him want to smack it right off.
“Now come on Richard, you know that stuff is overrated anyway.”
Miya’s head jerked up when Tatsurou suddenly appeared by his side, his long hair tied up in a ponytail. Miya took some pleasure in seeing that the taller man looked as tired as he felt, his normally immaculate suit rumpled and his eyes bleary.
“And if its entertainment you want, well…”
Miya had to fight not to jump when Tatsurou suddenly put his hand on his shoulder.
“Move over Miya, but don’t stop what you were playing,” Tatsurou said quietly. Miya dutifully scooted over a couple of inches, allowing Tatsurou some space to sit down.
In a way Miya wasn't surprised when Tatsurou brought out his harmonica from the depths of his pocket. They used to do this lot early on, when they had performed in clubs in exchange for supper and drinks, but it had been a while since they played together.
Placing it to his lips, the sharp reedy bursts coming from Tatsurou’s harmonica punctuated the smoother sounds coming from Miya’s piano as the started to play Henry Busse’s Wang Wang Blues.
But it wasn't a simple duet, rather more akin to a musical game of tag, with Miya pulling ahead as the hammers hit the strings at almost a sprint with Tatsurou trying desperately to keep up. Other times it was Tatsurou leading Miya on a merry chase up and down scales, hoping to make him trip.
Soon they had the whole club swinging, and there was no question they were a hit judging by the rancorous applause they received when they finished. Even Richard had to offer them a toast, albeit it begrudgingly.
“Take a bow Miya,” Tatsurou said under his breath as he stood up.
As they turned around to receive their kudos, Miya caught the hard look Tatsurou shot Kaoru before walking away. It was a look that told him in no uncertain terms to count him out just yet.
Yet that wasn't Miya’s foremost concern at the moment. He recognised that this was Tatsurou’s way of showing solidarity and that he was behind Miya all the way.
More importantly however, Tatsurou was making an effort to set things right, and now it was up to Miya to respond.
**
Tatsurou was going over the books in the office when Miya walked in.
The taller man didn't acknowledge his presence at first, absorbed as he was in his work. However, his entrance did not go unnoticed by Tatsurou’s chubby brown and white cat Teto, who had been resting comfortably on his desk.
Like the good little gatekeeper she was, Teto immediately stood up and gave Miya a withering look. But Miya knew that it would only take a scratch to the base of her ears to cause her to melt back on to the desk.
Once she was appeased, Miya took a check out of his pocket and silently placed it in front of her owner. Tatsurou blinked a little and lifted his glasses off his nose as he took a closer look at the amount.
“What’s this for?”
“It’s to make up for the business we will lose in the next few weeks. In the end, it was my mistake and it won’t happen again,” Miya said quietly. Tatsurou frowned as he realised that Miya was basically giving him a month’s salary along with whatever extra cash he had lying around.
“I can’t take this Miya,” Tatsurou said handing the check back to his friend. “It’s not a big problem, and you shouldn’t really feel you have to pay for it.”
Tatsurou smiled ruefully, with a tinge of regret as he pulled the tie from his ponytail so that his hair cascaded over his shoulders.
“It wasn't your fault entirely either,” Tatsurou said quietly as he looked up at the piano player. Miya gave him a hard look back, as if to tell Tatsurou not to be the martyr in all of this.
“Regardless, I made a mistake and restitution must be made. Tatsurou, please, it will make it a lot better if you just take the money,” Miya said insistently pushing the piece of paper back towards him.
Tatsurou shook his head and pushed it away just as firmly.
“Everybody makes mistakes,” Tatsurou said calmly. For some reason, the way Tatsurou said these words made a bubble of anger rise in him. Miya knew his reaction was irrational, by rights he should have been glad at Tatsurou’s admittance that he had been in the wrong for that evening.
“So, was that what was that night was? A mistake?” Miya said, the words coming out before he could stop them.
Tatsurou looked flustered and taken aback at Miya’s question, which managed to render him speechless for a few minutes. But when he did speak, there was an indecipherable shadow in his eyes.
“How it happened was a mistake, what I pushed you to do was a mistake and I was an asshole for it. But if you are asking if I think it was a mistake that we slept together….”
Tatsurou took a deep breath as he absentmindedly stroked Teto.
“My answer is no,” he finished quietly.
The silence hung heavy and thick between them broken only by Teto’s chest-deep purrs as Miya tried to wrap his mind around what Tatsurou had just said.
“What do you mean by that?” Miya finally asked softly, tentatively.
Instead of answering, Tatsurou instead pushed his chair back and walked around his desk so that he was standing in front of other man. Miya felt as if his feet were cemented to the floor, as he looked up and found Tatsurou’s face bare inches from his.
Tatsurou lifted his hand hesitantly, pausing mid-air for a split second before running his fingers gently through Miya’s spiked up hair, starting from behind his ear and ended at his goatee.
Tatsurou’s eyes flickered close as he leaned down so that he could kiss Miya on the mouth. This kiss was so different from the one he had forced on Miya a few nights ago, it was gentle and tentative as if scared he would get pushed away.
It was only when Miya didn't push him away that Tatsurou increased the pressure, letting his tongue swipe across the other man’s bottom lip tasting tobacco and scotch. There was a clear apology in that kiss, a want to be forgiven.
A low growl in Miya’s throat was all the warning Tatsurou got before he found himself getting pushed back towards the leather couch at occupied the corner of his office.
Miya’s hair-trigger aggression didn't surprise Tatsurou. He knew that after that night, Miya’s instinct would be to exert his dominant side, to show Tatsurou who held control this time.
Tatsurou felt his knees hit the lip of his couch, which caused him to sit down heavily as he pulled Miya down with him so that the shorter man was straddling him. Miya softly kissed the beauty mark on Tatsurou’s cheek before letting his fingers tangle in his long hair as he pulled his head back so that he could access his neck.
Tatsurou let out a harsh moan when Miya bit down, but it didn't stop his cock from jerking excitedly in his pants. Reaching up, Tatsurou slowly undid Miya’s waistcoat and his shirt so that his chest was exposed.
Leaning his weight forward, Tatsurou caused Miya to arch his back and his head to fall back. Even as his arms trembled from the strain, Tatsurou let his mouth travel the expanse of Miya’s pale chest, sucking and lapping at his nipples as he squeezed his ass.
“Are you sure about this?” Tatsurou asked, his voice muffled as he laved his tongue over open sections of flushed skin. Miya let his eyes close as he felt his blood heat and his grip on Tatsurou tighten.
“Show me you’re sorry then Tatsurou,” Miya whispered as he ran his hand over the bulge in Tatsurou’s trousers, slowly rubbing the outside of his erection with barely enough pressure to give any kind of satisfaction.
“And promise me that you won't do it again. Otherwise I will cut your balls off,” Miya hissed, tightening his clothed grip on Tatsurou’s cock in a clear warning. Tatsurou grimaced in pain but nodded his head.
“God I want you, I’ve wanted you for so long like you wouldn't fucking believe,” Tatsurou growled as pushed Miya down so he was lying along the length of the couch as he tugged at his belt, pulling it clear of the loops so he could unzip his pants.
“I’m not one of your girls Tatsurou,” Miya breathed even has his heartbeat sped up when Tatsurou nuzzled the fine line of hair from below his navel until the elastic of his briefs, his calloused fingertips tracing each delicate jut of his friend’s ribs.
“Just shut up and suck my dick…”
Tatsurou rolled his eyes even as he wrestled with Miya’s briefs.
“Charming Miya…really charming…” Tatsurou said wryly as he worked to divest Miya of his trousers even as the shorter man pulled off his own shirt and vest. Tatsurou smirked at how hard Miya’s cock was as it lay flat against his belly.
“I thought you liked girls Miya,” Tatsurou teased as he left brief kisses along the length of Miya’s prick. He soon regretted his remark however, when he felt Miya’s knee hit his temple.
“You aren’t exactly showing me how sorry you are Tatsurou,” Miya warned. Tatsurou grimaced and rubbed the side of his head as he tried to not glare at him.
“Fine, fine…how about this. You don’t realise do you....” Tatsurou broke off as he tongued the spot at the just below the head of Miya’s cock. “How…” another lingering touch, to his balls this time. “Fucking sexy…” now Tatsurou’s lips were over the head, softly sucking.
“Tatsurou,” Miya drew out the syllables of his name in a lengthy moan.
“You are? Stupid bastard,” Tatsurou quickly took Miya’s cock into his mouth before he could protest at the last remark. Certainly Miya found it hard to string a sentence together when Tatsurou started to suck along the whole length, his tongue twisting across the dusky skin.
Tatsurou closed his eyes as he started to bob his head up and down. Although he would never tell Miya, he actually liked blowing him. Liked the feeling of hardness along his tongue and the bitterness in his throat. Liked it just as much as the softness and sweetness of a woman’s pussy.
But unlike the women he had bedded before, Miya had no qualms about letting the whole world know how good he felt, his groans echoing off the ceiling. And the gasp that left his throat when Tatsurou squeezed his balls showed him how much his friend liked him getting his rocks off.
Soon Tatsurou’s clothes felt too stifling and he had to let Miya’s cock slip out of his mouth as he stood up and took off his jacket. At the loss of contact, Miya opened his eyes but quickly sat up so that he could help Tatsurou undress.
When it came to his pants, Miya’s hands were alongside Tatsurou’s as he pushed them down and let his cock spring free. It was the first time Miya had seen Tatsurou’s cock in this state, and he looked at it quizzically as he let it rest on his palm.
“Like what you see?” Tatsurou said, trying to sound casual even though his throat was dry. He wasn’t really small given his height, but it did make him squirm as the close scrutiny Miya was giving him.
“Hmmmm…” Miya said non-committently. But Tatsurou saw his tongue dart out catch the clear beads of pre-ejaculate from the tip, which made him so hard.
Leaning in closer, Tatsurou caught Miya by the chin so he could kiss him again and tasted himself on the shorter man’s tongue.
“You want to fuck me?” he murmured against Miya’s mouth, fully expecting him to say yes. Hence why he pulled back in surprise when Miya shook his head.
“No, I want you to fuck me Tatsurou,” Miya said as he bit on the soft yielding flesh of Tatsurou’s earlobe. “But you’d better do a good job of it…”
“Yes sir,” Tatsurou replied as he pushed Miya back so he could get off the couch. Walking over naked to his desk, he rummaged in the second drawer until he found a box of condoms together with some lubricant.
“Spread your legs Miya, one on the floor and the other on the headrest…that’s it,” Tatsurou coaxed as Miya opened himself up. Warming the lubricant between his palms, Tatsurou squeezed a generous amount on his fingers as he kneeled down.
Miya flinched when he felt Tatsurou’s finger slide into him, even though it wasn’t really that painful. He dug his fingers into the couch even harder when Tatsurou penetrated him with another finger.
“My offer’s still on the table Miya,” Tatsurou said even as he moved his fingers in and out of Miya’s body. When Miya shook his head, Tatsurou sighed and said, “You need to relax then, it will help a lot.”
Suddenly Tatsurou felt Miya’s fingers on his scalp.
“I think…I liked it…when you used your mouth there,” Miya admitted quietly, an obvious flush creeping up to his face. Tatsurou couldn't quite hide his grin as he ducked his head lower and flicked out his tongue.
He had put too much lube by this time to taste anything but his spit and KY slick, but it certainly caused Miya to relax allowing Tatsurou to slip another finger in. He diligently licked around his fingers, rubbing and teasing Miya’s entrance.
Tatsurou’s own cock was so hard by now that it was digging into couch, and he couldn't quite stop himself from rubbing against the leather in order to gain some friction.
Soon he couldn't take it anymore and sat up so that he could reach for a condom. He hurriedly unfurled the rubber over his cock and slathered it with KY. Leaning over Miya, he placed his cock at the shorter man’s entrance even as he kissed him.
“Ready?” he asked. Miya nodded and then felt his body stretch as Tatsurou arched his back and pushed his cock in, biting his lip as he slid in as deep as he could. Soon he started to move, which prompted a series of contented moans from Miya’s mouth.
“Fuck…this is good,” Tatsurou said as he moved a little faster. Miya certainly didn't protest as he wrapped his legs around Tatsurou’s waist as his breathing quickened.
“Fuck me, Tatsurou, fuck me,” Miya cursed as Tatsurou moved his hips faster. Tatsurou snaked a hand below Miya’s pelvis to tilt him upwards so that he could get a more satisfying thrust.
“That’s it Miya a little more,” Tatsurou urged blindly as he groped around for Miya’s cock. He started jerking him off with firm strokes even as he stutter-fucked him. Soon Tatsurou’s face was buried in the crook of Miya’s neck as he fucked him, his long hair spilling between their bodies, the dark strands a stark contrast to milky white skin.
In his highly sensitised state, each brush of Tatsurou’s hair against his body made his nerves stand on end even as his cock moved in and out of him. Miya grinned wickedly to himself as he clenched his body when Tatsurou’s cock was inside him causing him to emit a ragged groan.
“I’m gonna come Miya,” Tatsurou warned as his hand on Miya’s cock sped up. “Come first…come on…don’t hold back…” Tatsurou said almost desperately as he furiously jacked him off.
It didn’t take much longer for Miya’s back to arch as he spilled messily between both their stomachs. That was the trigger Tatsurou needed before pushing in as deep he could as he let go with a belly deep growl and filled the condom.
“Fuck me,” Tatsurou breathed as he searched for Miya’s mouth so he could kiss him. Miya didn't hesitate before kissing him back as he let their tongues tangle.
“What? No pithy comment Tatsurou?” Miya said dryly, which made the taller man glare at him. But he kissed him again in apology as he pulled out, which made Miya wince.
“I’m sorry,” Tatsurou suddenly said, his remorse clear as day as he let his hand gently stroke Miya’s sticky stomach. Miya closed his eyes as he kissed Tatsurou on the forehead.
“I liked what we just did,” was Miya’s only reply, and Tatsurou knew that he wouldn't say anything more about the matter.
“So, how are you feeling?” Tatsurou asked as he stroked Miya’s sweat soaked hair, which was now flattened even despite the copious amounts of styling wax he had put in earlier.
“I don’t know,” Miya answered truthfully. “I need…to think things over.”
Tatsurou chuckled.
“Typical Masaaki Yaguchi eh? Just, don't think too hard, I’m not really worth it,” Tatsurou said with a sigh as he wrapped his arms around his friend.
“What does that….” Miya started to ask, but stopped when he noticed that Tatsurou was already asleep.
**
Over the next few days, Miya’s playing seemed to take on a life of its own. Gone was the earlier hesitation and worry that had coloured his mood, instead there was this spark and bounce that was highly infectious.
It loosened tongues and opened up wallets, more than making up for the business they had lost earlier.
“Whatever it is you are doing Miya, don’t stop. People have been losing spectacularly at the tables and they don't even seem to care,” Satochi quipped as he stopped by the piano and dropped a chip into his jar.
Miya laughed to himself as he looked up and saw Tatsurou standing on the landing outside his office. The taller man gave him an approving nod, which Miya reciprocated before taking a break.
Standing by the bar, Miya lit up a cigarette and rolled up his sleeves as he pondered over his current situation.
Although they hadn’t spoken much since the night they had slept together, this time around Miya found himself not minding as much. He was still confused, but he knew that the wide berth Tatsurou was giving him was so that he could sort things out.
There was no question that things had changed between them, but Miya was rapidly accepting that it wasn't necessarily a bad thing.
“You’ve got real talent you know.”
“Excuse me?” Miya started as he suddenly noticed a man in a gray suit standing next to him.
“I said, you’ve got boatloads of talent and you are wasting time playing here. I’m an agent, and there is a lot I could do for you,” the man said as he tossed his card down in front of Miya.
“Name’s Ao,” he said with a wink from below the jaunty angle of his fedora. It was only then Miya noticed his heavily powdered face and kohl-rimmed eyes. He certainly looked the part of a man in show business, but still Miya was wary.
“Nishimura didn’t send you did he?” Miya said sharply, which made Ao arch his eyebrow.
“Heavens no, little midget fucking hates me since I stole his prized songbird from him. It burns him that a gay man managed to get his girl,” Ao almost cackled, which made Miya warm up to him almost immediately.
“Name is Masaaki Yaguchi, but everyone calls me Miya,” the piano player replied with a firm shake.
“Masaaki Yaguchi,” Ao rolled Miya’s name on his tongue thoughtfully. “Your name even sounds like a star, I really could do wonderful things for you.”
“Well, as tempting as your offer is, thanks but no thanks. I’m quite happy here,” Miya said with a smile motioned for Yukke to give Ao a drink on the house to soften the blow of his rejection.
Ao didn't look dejected however, simply shrugging his shoulders with a smile as he accepted his free drink.
“Well sweetheart, in case you ever change your mind, you have my contact details,” Ao said as he and Miya clinked glasses.
“Are you mad turning him down Miya? You know you could do so much better than here,” Yukke suddenly spoke after Ao had left a few minutes later. Miya’s brow furrowed at the bartender’s outburst.
“Since when is it your concern how my talent gets used Yukke,” Miya said lightly, as he traced the rim of his glass.
“Since it’s becoming very clear how stifled you are playing here Miya. With your skill there is so much you can accomplish, but its never gonna happen when you insist on staying here at Tatsurou’s beck and call,” Yukke said bluntly.
Miya’s eyes flashed with anger.
“Watch your mouth Yukke, I’m at nobody’s beck and call but my own,” Miya said dangerously, which prompted Yukke to wisely back off. Stubbing out his cigarette almost viciously, Miya turned his attention back to his piano as he tried to keep everyone’s spirits high.
It worked to an extent, and soon Miya found himself forgetting about Ao’s offer and Yukke’s words.
Almost.
**
It seemed such a shame to have to close the club at two am, especially since everyone was still having a rip-roaring time. But Miya by then was so exhausted that he just crashed fully clothed on one of the spare cots they kept at the back.
Miya didn't know what it was that woke up him up with a jerk barely an hour later, his heart pounding in his ears. As he took deep breaths to calm himself, it was then he became aware of voices filtering in from the above him.
His brow scrunched up in concentration as he strained his ears and managed to identify one of the faint voices as Tatsurou’s, but couldn't quite place the other one although it did sound vaguely familiar.
“Who the hell is Tatsurou entertaining at…” Miya stifled a yawn as he checked his watch. “Three in the morning?”
Frowning to himself, Miya slipped on his shoes and soundlessly made his way to Tatsurou’s office, making sure to make his footfalls as light as possible.
Once he had made his way to the landing outside Tatsurou’s office, Miya noticed that the door was open a crack, which explained why the noise had traveled. Pressing himself against the door, Miya took a careful peek inside and his eyes widened in shock.
From his vantage point he could clearly see Tatsurou with his hands up as Toshiya pointed a gun straight as his chest.
“Fuck!” Miya cursed inwardly as his mind scrambled as what to do. He couldn’t very well barge in, that might cause Toshiya to fire. Even if he could overpower him, there was just too high a risk of getting someone shot.
Miya had just about decided to get some help when he heard Toshiya speak, which made him turn his attention back to the two men in the room.
“I’ve tried reasoning with you, I’ve tried bargaining with you. Now you leave me no choice Tatsurou,” Toshiya said, his words strong but there was no mistaking the hint of desperation fraying the edges.
“You won’t shoot me Toshiya,” Tatsurou said quietly. Miya saw Toshiya’s jaw clench as he took a step forward.
“Don’t think I won’t Tatsurou.”
“Fine, let me make it easier for you,” Tatsurou said as he also took a step forward so that the muzzle of the gun was just below his breastbone.
“What are you doing?” Toshiya stuttered, the grip on his gun faltering slightly. The same words were echoing through Miya’s head as he felt the cold grip of fear encase his insides.
“Shoot me Totchi, in fact you will be doing me a favour,” Tatsurou said in a voice that was soft yet firm. “Come on Toshiya, put me out of my misery.”
Miya’s chest suddenly felt as if it was about to cave in. How could Tatsurou be so callous about his own life? Like there was nothing left to live for, like nothing else mattered.
“Come on Toshiya, shoot me,” Tatsurou urged, his voice a notch louder.
Miya saw Toshiya cock the gun and held his breath as he waited for the shot to happen. But it never came as Toshiya let his hand that was holding to the gun drop to his side, his eyes brimming with unshed tears.
Quick as a flash, Tatsurou disarmed him and placed the gun on the side table, just out of Toshiya’s reach. Without hesitation he circled his arms around his former lover as his shoulders started to shake.
“I though I could do it Tatsurou. I thought I could shoot you so you would give me what you want. But I can’t.” Toshiya was openly crying now, his face buried in the crook of Tatsurou’s neck.
“It’s okay Toshiya,” Tatsurou said soothingly, stroking the other man’s hair in a manner similar to what he had done for Miya a few nights ago.
Miya swallowed hard and knew he should look away, but found he couldn't. Even as Toshiya drew his head back and ran his long fingers through Tatsurou’s hair, pushing it back from his face.
“I thought I could forget Tatsurou how I felt about you. How much I loved you,” Toshiya said, every word a small shard of ice embedding itself in Miya’s skin.
“How much I still loved you…” Toshiya finished with a whisper as their faces moved closer.
Miya didn't bother to watch anymore, he didn’t need to know what was happening, the sound of lips against lips and clipped breaths more than telling. He simply turned on his heel and walked away as silently as he had come.
**
It was another typical night at Café Americain. So typical that it made Miya feel sick to his stomach at what he had let his life had become.
People still came and gambled, they still bought drinks and spilled their hearts out to him. Still the same stories, still the same troubles, but who was he to judge?
“It’s not as if anything about me has changed,” Miya thought bitterly.
“How’s it going Miya?” Tatsurou asked as he sauntered up to the piano. In a gesture that looked almost casual, Tatsurou straightened Miya’s hat but let his fingers linger behind the other man’s ear just slightly longer than necessary.
Miya had to force his jaw to relax as he shrugged and nodded to the usual pile of papers.
“Actually Miya, can you do me a favour? Toshiya is coming in later, when he does could you tell him to go straight to my office,” Tatsurou said. Suddenly the anger he had worked so hard to suppress flooded his veins even as his face remained impassive.
“Sure,” Miya said curtly, but Tatsurou was already gone.
Sure enough, Toshiya walked in half an hour later and headed straight for Miya. He didn’t even look up as he pointed in the direction of Tatsurou’s office and muttered, “There, he’s expecting you.”
Was it just Miya’s imagination, or did Toshiya shoot him a knowing smirk before heading upstairs, making him seethe inside.
It took all of Miya’s powers of concentration to focus on his playing as he tried to not think what was going on in Tatsurou’s office, tried not to take notice of how many hours had passed and yet there was still no sign of them.
But soon it was closing time and still the two men had yet to come down. Miya moved like a zombie as he closed his piano and locked it, so deep in his thoughts that he jumped five feet off the ground when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
“Miya…it is Miya isn’t it?” Kaoru said as Miya recoiled.
“Fuck, what are you trying to do? Give me a heart attack?” Miya said as he glared at the man. “Yes, it’s Miya….what is it you want?”
“I was wondering if Tatsurou was in,” Kaoru asked. Miya fiddled nervously with the silver hoop in his ear as he ran over possible answers in his head.
“He is, but he’s busy at the moment,” Miya said, trying as hard as he could to keep his tone neutral even as he looked up at the still closed door. But Kaoru saw right through that as a resigned smile spread over his face.
“Busy huh?” Kaoru laughed softly as he followed Miya’s gaze. “Do you mind me asking Miya, but have you ever been in love before?”
When Miya didn't answer, Kaoru continued talking.
“Although you may not believe me Miya, but I have. I don’t think anything hurts as much as when you love someone so much, but that person doesn't love you back in the same way.”
“It’s not an unusual situation,” Miya said, the words coming out of their own volition.
“But I guess it doubly hurts when you would do anything for this person, even if you knew that what you were doing was wrong. And there is no doubt that I love this person very much,” Kaoru said, his sentence a clear confession.
It appeared that even mob bosses weren’t above needing a shoulder to cry on either.
“Miya…”
Miya looked when he heard Tatsurou calling his name. He was standing outside his office door, one hand beckoning Miya to come upstairs. Once Miya had reached the landing, Tatsurou motioned inside at Toshiya who was hiding in the shadows.
“Make sure he gets back safe, I’ll deal with Kaoru,” Tatsurou said in sotto voce as he placed his hand on the small of Miya’s back.
A part of Miya bristled, but still he knew he would do it, because it was Tatsurou that had asked him. He knew he would take Toshiya downstairs by the back way, get into a cab with him back to his house.
Both of them didn’t saying a word through the entire trip as Toshiya insistently looked out the window and Miya resolutely ignored how sex rumpled the other man’s hair looked or how he could smell Tatsurou on his skin.
Beck and call…..
Yukke’s voice kept echoing insistently from the back of his mind but Miya knew he would ignore it. He knew he would stand at Toshiya’s door and watch him go in, and not leave until he was safely in his house.
Watching….always watching. It seemed to Miya that was all he did these days, watch as his life passed him by.
When he returned to the club, he found it locked up and Kaoru gone. Miya was glad to see that nothing looked out of place, at least there hadn’t been a right royal punch-up or shoot-out while he had been sending Toshiya back.
The light on Tatsurou’s office was still on however, and Miya found himself knocking on the taller man’s door before he realised what he was doing.
“I’ve done what you’ve asked Tatsurou,” Miya said. Tatsurou looked up from what he had been writing to offer Miya a thankful smile.
“Just in time Miya, come over here, I need you to sign something,” Tatsurou said as he took his glasses off his nose and rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand.
Miya picked up the piece of paper proffered to him and skimmed over it, blinking as he realised what he was reading.
“You are signing over the majority of your share in the club…to me?” Miya said in utter disbelief. Tatsurou shrugged as he reached out to pet Teto who was, as always, on his desk.
“It makes sense Miya. You basically run this place, you keep it going, you audit the books, you know the suppliers. Its time for you to get more out of Café Americain than just a salary, you deserve to be the owner,” Tatsurou said linking his fingers together as he leaned back in his chair.
“I….I don’t know what to say Tatsurou,” Miya said, stumbling over his words.
“I will still hold thirty percent, but you are the big boss now Miya,” Tatsurou said with a fond smile. “In addition, with you as the owner, Kaoru has lost his bargaining chip.”
Miya blinked as something clicked in his head.
“Toshiya,” Miya said quietly. “With me in charge, he can’t use Toshiya to lean on you anymore.”
“Yup, and Toshiya will be free,” Tatsurou finished, sounding extremely satisfied with himself.
Free….free to be with Tatsurou again. Miya suddenly saw Tatsurou’s plan with stunning clarity, and it made him ball his fists as his shoulders went stiff.
“Keep your club Tatsurou, I’m tendering my resignation,” Miya said with barely suppressed anger as he tossed the document back on Tatsurou’s desk.
Tatsurou shot Miya a look of confusion.
“Miya, don’t joke around! Be serious,” Tatsurou snapped at him, which just made Miya see red even more.
“I’m serious Tatsurou, I don’t want your club and I’m done following your dream. Café Americain was your goal, not mine. And I’m done being your means to an end,” Miya said, his jaw set in a firm line.
He was about to walk away when Tatsurou sprung up and grabbed him by the arm.
“Miya, come on, don’t do this,” Tatsurou implored. “Tell me what’s wrong baby….”
And suddenly Miya felt Tatsurou’s mouth at the crown of his head, nuzzling him almost pleadingly. It made him want to lean into his touch, to let him comfort him, even if it was more as a friend as a lover.
But it was that endearment, so unlike Tatsurou that made Miya realised that he was being played again. It took all his will power to wrench himself out of Tatsurou’s grasp.
“I’m done letting you fuck with me Tatsurou,” Miya said quietly, his gaze level with the taller man’s as he let the full extent of his words hit his friend dead on. It was then Tatsurou knew that Miya had made up his mind.
Tatsurou just stood there as Miya turned his back to him and walked away with his head held high. He only hesitated slightly at the door, his hand placed on the frame as he half looked over his shoulder.
“Goodbye Tatsurou….”
Miya was finally tired of watching.
**
It seemed to Miya that after years of going through the same routine and having his days crawl by that once he decided to change, everything seemed to move at a breakneck pace.
Even though he had already made his mind up to quit, it wasn't in Miya to just leave the club hanging just like that. It was simply a matter of pride, where a part of Miya wouldn't be satisfied unless he left on a high note.
But amazingly everything seemed to fall into place fairly quickly. Not only had he managed to find a replacement piano player within days, he had also briefed Yukke and Satochi as to where he kept the books and the store of petty cash.
Ultimately it would be Tatsurou’s burden to shoulder, but the taller man had been AWOL for a number of days. In fact, Tatsurou had been surprisingly absent from Café Americain ever since Miya had told him that he was leaving.
Sometimes he would catch a shadow of Tatsurou in the back, only to have it disappear. In a way Miya wasn't really surprised that Tatsurou was avoiding him, but still he couldn't help but feel a little sad at how their friendship had to end.
“Fine, more than a little sad,” Miya admitted to himself as he packed up his sheet music. So what if a part of him hurt like hell? Miya had already contacted Ao, who had then sent him a plane ticket to the US where his studio was located.
In a way, he was grateful that he was so busy, it stopped any lingering regrets he had from taking root and dissuading him. Before he knew it, he was having farewell drinks with Yukke and Satochi, as they rapidly emptied the bar’s top shelf.
“Don’t forget ush once you are famoush okay?” Satochi slurred as he peered through his highball glass.
“You better not Miya,” Yukke warned as he shook a finger at his friend. “If you need like backup people, I think I can learn to play bass…or something.”
Miya laughed.
“Thanks guys, I will definitely keep you in mind,” Miya said as he ruffled both of their heads fondly.
Despite it being his farewell, Miya still found himself locking up as both Yukke and Satochi were passed out in the back. Miya had to smile at the irony of the situation as he turned the lock, heard it click, and dropped the keys in the postbox for the two of them to find later.
His hands in his pockets, Miya took a step back as he looked up at the club’s name, now shrouded in darkness and felt a pang run through him, a mixture of regret and pride that brought a resigned smile to his lips.
“I should go,” Miya said to no one in particular, but his feet still refused to leave. A part of him was still wishing he had the chance to mend fences with Tatsurou, to not let the bridge completely burn, as impossible as that was.
“Meow…”
Miya started as he felt something rub at his ankles, but the purr was instantly familiar. Crouching down, he scratched under Teto’s chin as she lovingly dug her nails into the fabric of his jeans.
“At least you’ve come to see me off eh Teto? Even if your master hasn't,” Miya said to the cat as he scooped her into his arms and let Teto gently butt her head against his chin.
“What are you doing out here anyway, you are supposed to be inside,” Miya scolded as he made his way to the back of the club to where Teto’s cat flap was located. But before he could reach, Teto leapt from his arms and bounded down the alley that ran alongside.
“Teto? Teto! Come back!” Miya said as he jogged after the cat.
He skidded to a halt when he rounded the corner and heard the distinctive sound of a harmonica being played. Miya slowed his steps as he approached the sound and found Teto sitting on top of a suitcase.
A suitcase that was located right next to Tatsurou.
Tatsurou, as always, didn't really register Miya’s presence, and instead just kept playing his harmonica, leaning against the wall with the brim of his fedora low and covering his eyes.
“Tatsurou?”
At his name, Tatsurou slowly lowered the instrument from his lips and placed it in the pocket of his wool coat, as he kept starting straight at the ground.
“Happen to know if someone wants to hire a harmonica player? I can sing too. Will take pretty much anything since I need a job at the moment,” Tatsurou said as he slowly raised his head so that he was finally looking at Miya.
“What’s going on Tatsurou? Why the bags? And what do you mean you need a job?” Miya said as he tried to grasp what was going on.
Tatsurou shrugged.
“I used to own a club, but then I finally sold it. I’ve got a lot of money, but I’m bored out of my fucking head. I was hoping you could help me out, since you are going to be a big recording star and all,” Tatsurou said with a half smile.
Miya’s jaw dropped slightly.
“You sold Café Americain? I thought you said….”
“Well,” Tatsurou started sheepishly and then stopped as he rubbed the back of his head.
“It wouldn’t be the same without you Miya, and it didn't take me long to realise that. So I called up Kaoru and told him I would accept his offer…after bumping it up several times of course,” Tatsurou said with a smirk.
“Is that why you’ve not been around the whole week?” Miya said as realisation dawned.
Tatsurou nodded.
“I’ve been busy getting the paperwork done. And don't worry, I made sure it included a clause for both Yukke and Satochi to get a pay raise as well as some job protection. Kaoru’s no fool, even if he is an asshole.”
“So when did you close the deal?” Miya asked with quiet curiosity.
“This evening. In fact, I barely had enough time to pack so I could catch you before you left. So, I told Yukke to delay you as much as possible although he will curse me tomorrow when he wakes up with a hangover,” Tatsurou chuckled, but soon his face turned serious as he closed the space between them.
“Why didn’t you let me explain that night Miya?” Tatsurou said softly as he took the shorter man’s hands in his and let his thumbs rest on bones of Miya’s wrists
“When I said Toshiya would be free, it wasn't so that he could be with me. It’s always been Kaoru who he has loved, even back then. As long as I owned the club, Toshiya would keep seducing me even though he didn't want to because he wanted Kaoru to be happy,” Tatsurou explained.
Tatsurou gave a humourless laugh.
"Fuck, it hurts my ego to admit it, but gotta be a man about it right? Besides, it didn't take me very long to realise that it was that which was hurting and not so much anything else," Tatsurou added wryly.
It only took Miya one look into Tatsurou’s eyes to know that he wasn't pretending, that what he was saying was the complete truth. But still, there were a few questions that Miya needed the answer for. He hadn’t realised that he had gone quiet for several minutes until Tatsurou poked him on the forehead.
“What’s going on in there?”
“That night, when Toshiya threatened you with a gun…I was there. I saw everything. I heard everything.” Tatsurou nodded as if he had been expecting as much.
“Were you really ready to die? Was there really nothing left worth living for? And don’t say you didn't mean it because I know there was some truth in it. You aren't that good an actor Tatsurou,” Miya warned even as he didn't let go.
Tatsurou smiled ruefully as he looked down at their interlinked hands.
“There was a part of me that didn’t care Miya, I won’t lie. In the end I was so tired of everything so it seemed so tempting to let someone end it.”
Tatsurou tightened his grip before continuing on.
“But a bigger part of me was screaming, man, Miya is gonna kick your ass if he finds out that you died like this you stupid fuckwit,” Tatsurou finished with a grin.
Miya had to laugh at the absurdity of Tatsurou’s reasoning, the rich sound filling the alley as his shoulders shook prompting the other man to join him.
“Miya…” Tatsurou reached out to lovingly stroke the shorter man’s jaw once their laughter had petered out. Miya closed his eyes as he tried not shiver at his friend’s touch.
“Yes Tatsurou?”
“You were right to be tired of following my dreams. I realised that we’ve been chasing my dreams for as long as we’ve been friends, and in the end I wasn’t really happy about it.”
Tatsurou leaned closer so that their foreheads were touching.
“So why don’t you let me follow yours for a bit and see if that works? Whaddya say?”
There was only one answer Miya could think to Tatsurou’s question, where he reached up and pulled him closer for a kiss. When they parted, Tatsurou’s smile was truly genuine this time, rather than the charming fake.
“I’ll get Teto, you get your bags,” Miya said. Tatsurou acquiesced with a nod as he grabbed his pulley bag with his left hand and Miya’s free hand with his right.
“You know Miya, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”
Miya raised his eyebrow and pulled his hand away looking the tiniest bit affronted.
“Friendship or relationship Tatsurou?” he questioned. Tatsurou pretended to give it some thought before shrugging his shoulders.
“Since when has it ever been different with us?” Tatsurou said simply. He placed his fingers below Miya’s chin and tilted his face upwards so he could meet the shorter man's serious brown eyes, which had drawn him and gave him anchor from the first moment they had met.
But Miya didn't need to know that, or maybe he already did.
“Here’s looking at you kid,” Tatsurou said before giving Miya another kiss.
Love, the stories were inevitably about love.
And sometimes, they had a happy ending.
***
End Credits
***