Fanfiction: Payphone (Part I)
Title: Payphone
Fandom: Sadie
Pairings: MaoxMizuki, AkixKei
Rating: NC17
Spoilers/Warnings: Smex
Prompt: (#8) The Phonebooth from 30_lemons, table found here
Disclaimers: I don’t own them, I’m not implying any of this is true, God isn’t that nice to me.
Summary: Mao and Mizuki have always been fast friends, from when Sadie first started. Eventually their relationship evolved into something more, but for Mao it has not become enough. But as he struggles with telling his lover, has Mizuki already found someone else?
A/N: This fic another one of my Ten Lemons for Ten Pairings series inspired by the 30_lemons challenge. This time the featured band is Sadie, inspired by two Rock n Read photoshoots of vocalist Mao and guitarist Mizuki. The band is love in general and deserve more stories written about them ^^ And much love goes to aitakute for the wonderful header she made me!
This is part one, and I'm aiming to post part 2 (which I am writing) as soon as possible. So please enjoy and comments are always loved and much appreciated and make me write faster ^_^
***
~Part I: Call~
***
“The number you have dialed is currently….”
A soft curse. The muffled click of a pressed switch hook. The digital crunch of numbers being punched.
“The number you have dialed….”
Curse, click, crunch.
“The number…”
Mao sighed to himself as he cycled his three actions, only to be met every single time by the chirpy female voice of the network provider. Times like this he always wanted to meet the woman behind the voice so as to see what drugs she took to make herself sound so happy.
Cradling the earpiece between his shoulder, Mao sighed again as he fiddled with the hastily obtained change in his pocket, finding both the weight of the coins and the gesture unfamiliar. In this day and age, it seemed to him so archaic to be using a pay phone.
Coin-operated no less, he didn't even know those existed in Tokyo anymore.
“But it’s not as if I have a choice really,” Mao thought as he took out his phone and gave it a little shake, as if in hopes that a little kinetic energy could get it going again. He frowned when he saw a flicker of light, a teasing glimpse of life, only for the entire screen to go blank again.
His phone had never been the same since Kei accidentally spilled orange juice on it a week ago. Although he had managed to dry it out, the phone had a tendency to die on him without warning.
His manager had urged him to get a new one, after all Osaka was hardly wanting for mobile phone shops, but Mao had kept putting it off. It wasn't just his packed schedule rather it was the fact he wasn’t completely comfortable palming off this particular task for someone else to do.
And for the most part his phone worked fine. But Sod’s law being what it was, it would always choose to fail at times when he needed it the most. Already he had shown up at the wrong location for an interview and had gotten the cold shoulder from co-bandleader Aki twice for missing appointments.
And of course, there were times like this when his sort-of boyfriend Mizuki was supposed to pick him up but was 45 minutes late.
“Bloody idiot, why have a mobile phone if you don’t turn it on?” Mao chastised impotently down the mouthpiece. It was baffling actually, as frenetic as their lives were, Mizuki would surely notice a dead phone.
In the end Mao finally gave up and dialed Aki’s number. After all, they were all heading to the studio, surely the bassist wouldn't mind making a little detour to pick up him up.
Fine, he would give him shit for it, but there wasn't a taxi in sight so it was better than Aki being pissed at him being late again.
“Hello!” a voice answered after the first ring, a voice entirely to perky to be Aki’s.
“Kei?” Mao responded dumbly. “What are you doing picking up Aki’s phone?”
“Well since we spent the night together, we decided it would be more economical to take one car. And, he is driving at the moment,” Kei said, his words accompanied by a soft grunt in the background that told Mao he was probably on speakerphone.
Of course, it had almost slipped Mao’s mind that Kei was in fact Aki’s actual boyfriend. A fact the two of them had announced a couple of weeks ago that the rest of the band was still trying to wrap their collective minds around.
“Right, well I need you guys to do me a favour and pick me up. Mizuki was supposed to but he seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth,” Mao said trying to mask his annoyance and worry behind a casual tone.
“He has some last minute Karasu things to do this morning, something about needing to re-record some of his parts. I thought he would have told you, he told me about an hour ago,” Aki’s voice suddenly came across the wire.
Mao groaned inwardly and leaned his forehead against the glass of the phone booth. Karasu, Mizuki’s little side project with Tatsurou that he had assured Mao wouldn't take up that much time, which of course it had.
“He probably did but my phone is dead thanks to reasons we all know why,” Mao said accusingly.
“Accident Mao! Stop whining and tell us where you are so we can pick you up. The vein in Aki’s head is starting to throb at the thought of us all being late,” Kei said, causing Mao to grin wryly as he gave them the address.
Twenty minutes later, Mao was just finishing his cigarette as Aki’s car came around the corner. Hastily stubbing it out, he grabbed his bag and got into the backseat only to be greeted by the sight of Kei’s hand on top of Aki’s of the gearstick.
He wasn't sure why, but the characteristic “couple” gesture left a slight bitter taste in his mouth. Probably because he and Mizuki never did things like that, both dismissing such shows of affection as cliché.
“What the hell were you doing out here in the boondocks Mao?” Kei asked over his shoulder as Aki maneuvered back on to the main road.
“Some designer wants me to collaborate on a jewelry line. He picked me up this morning and brought me to his studio out here, cheaper rent he says,” Mao said as he rested his chin on the heel of his hand.
Kei shot the vocalist a concerned look as he saw Mao staring distractedly out of the window through the rearview mirror, pausing occasionally to stare at the dead phone he was turning round and around in the palm of his hand.
“You shouldn't be so upset with him Mao, it wasn't as if he purposely stood you up,” Kei said as he loosened his seatbelt so he could turn around.
“Kei,” Aki said, his name coming out in a low warning growl from the base of his throat, but the drummer was unperturbed. Kei knew Aki’s views about getting involved in each other’s personal lives, but the older man’s principals weren’t his own.
“I’m not upset Kei, after all, it's not as if I am his keeper or anything,” Mao said but cringed at the defensive edge to his words.
Kei let out a sound of exasperation.
“I don't understand the both of you. You’re best friends, you both practically live in each other’s pockets,
and from what I remember hearing, you both have fantastic sex if his moans are anything to go by….”
“What the fuck, you mean you've heard us?” Mao sputtered.
Kei rolled his eyes at Mao’s sudden prudishness.
“Mao, why don't you just tell him you love him, that you want to be his boyfriend so we can all live happily ever after,” Kei said bluntly.
Mao's skin rankled as he recognised Kei’s tone of voice. It was the exact same tone he used a few years ago when he told the both of them that they should stop pussyfooting around and just fucking date.
It was that tone of voice that had gotten them into this situation in the first place.
Kei was right though, about how perfectly their lives seem fit together. So much so that even when he was dating other people, no matter if it was a boy or a girl, all played second fiddle to the guitarist in the structure of Mao’s life.
There was a reason why it was him and only him that Mao kissed during lives.
However, a romantic relationship was something Mao wasn't sure was worth jeapordising their friendship over. So early on, he and Mizuki had agreed to keep things casual, no ties, no promises of commitment, just an open relationship built and grounded on their mutual respect and fondness for each other.
“And Kei is right about the fabulous sex,” Mao thought dryly.
But Mao also knew that what they had was getting not to be enough. You couldn't claim to have a casual attachment to someone and yet get insanely jealous every time you see your partner flirt with the first cute, dumb blonde that he came across.
Mao stopped himself short and gave himself a mental slap, which was followed by a sharp twinge of guilt. Hiroto was a nice guy, hardly a Mensa candidate, but a genuinely nice guy nonetheless.
However if he ever caught him touching Mizuki again, he would take his kneecaps out.
“We’re here,” Aki suddenly announced as they pulled into the parking lot of the recording studio, rousing
Mao out of his thoughts. As his surroundings sharpened into focus, he caught Aki giving Kei a look that said ‘drop it’ but softened it with a quick kiss before they exited the car.
As Kei walked ahead, Mao started when he felt Aki suddenly grab him by the shoulder in mid-step and pulled him closer.
“Kei is right you know, you and Mi have to sort yourselves out. You have nothing to lose Mao by telling him the truth, not feeling the way you do,” Aki said quietly into his ear.
Mao bit back a resigned sigh as he nodded in agreement. Next to Mizuki, Aki was his closest friend in the band, whose advice often came straight from the hip.
“I’ll talk to him tonight,” Mao said softly. “Thanks man,” he added gruffly as he bumped Aki’s shoulder with his own.
“Anytime, can’t have you always being late, it costs money,” Aki said, his words accompanied by one of his rare smiles as they walked instep towards the door.
***
A few hours later though when they were back in Osaka, Mao wasn't feeling so brave anymore. It wasn't that he was scared though, nothing much scared the vocalist.
Rather he was comfortable
.
Mao shot Mizuki a side-glance and gave a smile as he saw him immersed in the show they were watching on TV. It was one of the rare occasions where Mizuki was silent as his infamous motor mouth was working a mile a minute on a handful of blueberries and almonds.
The bowls of the squirrel food dotting Mizuki’s apartment were part of his latest campaign to improve their skin condition, which he had proudly told Mao he had picked up from a women’s magazine.
However, the awkward way Mizuki was laying on his side with his feet splayed on Mao’s lap made the older man worry that he might choke on a nut. He mitigated the feeling by pressing his thumb into the arch of the guitarist’s foot and smirked when Mizuki sighed and melted into the couch.
“That’s nice Mao,” Mizuki said as he stretched his long torso and wiggled his toes. Mao took the hint and
pressed the heel of his hand to the ball of his foot and pressed back to stretch the muscles on the underside of Mizuki’s calf.
Mao did admit that he adored his lover’s long legs, clad in anything from tight designer jeans to frayed track pants. He dropped a kiss on Mizuki’s ankle, which earned him a wink from the guitarist.
“There is that word again, comfortable,” Mao thought as he applied more pressure.
But when he looked up, he saw Mizuki once again enraptured by Jack Bauer’s antics on the screen, which made him quirk an eyebrow. Slowly, Mao began inching upwards until Mizuki’s thighs were resting on his legs.
“Hey.”
Mizuki turned in surprise at Mao’s sudden closeness with an almond between his teeth. That was all the invitation Mao needed to close the gap between them and close his mouth over Mizuki’s, kissing him slow and soft as he sucked the almond into his own mouth.
He crunched it with his back jaw as Mizuki prolonged the kiss, his lip-ring cold against his mouth, a contrast to the warm tongue that was currently tangling with his own. In that fleeting touch Mao could taste the bitter smokiness of the almonds over the sweet sourness of the berries and felt his skin flush.
When they pulled back, Mao felt a trickle of goosebumps at the heated look in Mizuki’s eyes.
“Hey,” Mizuki said, moving forward again to lightly kiss Mao again.
“Hey,” Mao echoed his earlier reply, licking Mizuki’s bottom lip in a teasing gesture that elicited a soft noise from the guitarist.
“Mao, wasn't there something you were supposed to talk to him about?” niggled his conscience, which the vocalist firmly pushed to the back of his head. At this moment some fantastic sex, as Kei had so aptly called it earlier, was the more pressing thing.
Mizuki seemed to have the same idea as his hands went to the collar of Mao’s shirt and started pulling at it.
And he would have probably succeeded at pulling it off if it wasn't for the annoying sound of the his cell phone going off.
Mizuki instantly pulled away to search for it, which left Mao feeling bereft.
“Leave it,” Mao growled, reaching downwards to the crotch of Mizuki’s trousers, hoping that it would be enough to distract him, but to no avail.
“Hang on a sec Mao, its Hiroto,” Mizuki said, absently pushing Mao’s hand away.
Hiroto, that damn name was like a splash of cold water to his libido, killing any erection he may have had. Mao finally gave up and moved towards the end of the couch, his face dark as thunder.
“Hey Hiroto what’s up? No, doing anything really, just a quiet night at home,” Mizuki said, as he shot the vocalist an apologetic look and gestured that he wouldn't be that long on the phone.
That didn't help improve Mao’s mood however as he crossed his legs, sinking his chin into his chest as Mizuki discussed with Alice Nine’s guitarist Karasu’s upcoming photoshoot.
“See, if you had talked to him first, you wouldn't be feeling this way,” nagged his conscience again, which was starting to sound uncannily like Kei.
“Shut up,” Mao muttered under his breath as Mizuki wrapped up his call, cheerfully telling Hiroto that he would see him next week.
“Right, now where were we?” Mizuki said cheekily, switching off his phone and throwing it behind him. But his expression turned to worry at the dark look on Mao’s face.
“Mao? Sorry but I had to take that call. What’s wrong?” Mizuki asked quietly as he reached for his lover, only to have his hand pushed away.
“Hey, come on. The call wasn't that long, your mood couldn't have died that much,” Mizuki cajoled as he dropped to his knees on the floor and inched closer to Mao.
His brow furrowed when Mao remained silent, sitting as still as a statue even as he kneeled before him with a hand on each of the vocalist’s knees. But Mizuki also felt a faint trace of annoyance at Mao’s sudden pissy attitude, it wasn't as if he had blown him off for no reason.
“I know what will get through to him,” Mizuki thought as he pointedly laid his head on Mao’s groin and rubbed his cheek against the material of his cargo pants.
Mao’s breathing quickened as he felt his dick stir to life again. Mizuki always had that affect on him, getting him hard in a heartbeat every time his mouth was even in the faintest vicinity of his cock. When he pursed his lips or licked at his ring, it was all Mao could do not to drag him to the nearest flat surface.
He felt his anger soften at the sight of Mizuki continually rubbing against him like an oversized cat. His annoyance quickly turned to remorse, Mizuki certainly didn't deserve how he had treated him.
And he knew in that moment, his conscience was right. He needed to sort out this thing between them, whatever it was.
“Mi, we need to talk…” but his words dissolved into a hiss as Mizuki deftly undid his pants and kissed the base of his cock.
“I think, we have done enough talking for this evening, don't you?” Mizuki said huskily as he pulled Mao’s zip down further. “Especially since you decided not to wear any underwear,” Mizuki grinned as he gingerly pulled Mao’s pierced cock out of his pants.
“You know, if you had just mentioned that little fact earlier, you would be fucking me with this thing now and screw any phone calls,” Mizuki smile widened as he traced the silver balls on either side of the head of Mao’s penis.
“Mizuki…come on…we really need to...”
But Mao couldn't carry on when Mizuki took the tip of his cock in his mouth and started to suckle on the sensitive flesh. His heart jumped when Mizuki’s teeth caught on the piercing and his lips wrapped around his shaft.
In one move Mizuki let Mao’s cock drop from his mouth and pushed himself up so that he was eye level with the vocalist. Given their difference in heights, Mizuki didn't have to stretch very far to pepper Mao’s cheek with soft kisses.
“I’m sure talking the last thing on the list of things you want me to do with my mouth at this point, right baby?” Mizuki whispered into Mao’s ear as he wrapped his hand around his lover’s cock.
“People always say I should shut up more anyway, sucking you off at least ensures that.”
“Promises, promises Mi,” Mao chuckled as his lust finally took over, quashing his better judgment.
Mizuki couldn't stop a triumphant smirk at being able to change his lover’s mood and increased the movement of his hand on Mao’s rapidly thickening shaft.
Bowing his head again, this time Mizuki didn’t hesitate before swallowing half of Mao’s cock and aggressively began to suck. Mao arched his back as Mizuki kept taking more of his dick into his mouth and down his throat.
“Yes Mi, like that,” Mao groaned as Mizuki slowly pulled back, his lip-ring grazing the tender skin until he was completely out of his mouth, leaving his cock glistening with saliva.
Mizuki didn't miss a heartbeat before sucking him in again, more vigorously this time, his tongue flicking at all the veins. Soon the apartment was filled with the sounds of wet sucking and Mao’s increasingly heavy pants.
“Mi…you…can…slow down you know…” Mao grunted as Mizuki kept up his frantic pace of working over his cock.
But Mizuki couldn't help himself. Just like how Mao couldn't help getting aroused at the sight of Mizuki’s mouth, the guitarist couldn't contain himself when face to face with his lover’s pierced dick.
He sucked and he slurped, taking it so far in that he almost choked. Soon Mao could feel rivulets of saliva trickling down his balls. But as enjoyable as it was, Mao didn't want his orgasm to come so soon.
“Mi…” Mao said firmly, but his touch was gentle as he traced Mizuki’s jaw. Mizuki got the point and finally slowed down to a snail’s pace, and just let his lips drag across his cock.
Mao bunched his hand in Mizuki’s caramel blonde hair as the younger man slowly jerked him off.
“What? You weren’t enjoying yourself?” Mizuki said mischievously as he bent Mao’s cock upward slightly so he could repeatedly lick the underside as he spoke.
“Idiot, of course I liked it, just…what about you?” Mao asked a little gruffly, suddenly feeling the urge to be tender to the younger lover.
“Don't worry about me Mao, I’m enjoying myself just fine,” Mizuki answered as he deftly undid his own zip with one hand. Pulling down his underwear, he let his cock flop out and Mao watched fascinated as clear beads dripped from the tip and stained the carpet below.
“Now, let me suck your balls will you,” Mizuki said bouncing a little on his heels, unable as always to keep still as he gently rolled the head of Mao’s member between his long fingers.
“Don’t let me stop you,” Mao answered back with a half smile, but before Mizuki could duck his head back down, the vocalist caught him by the chin.
“You're beautiful you know that?” Mao said quietly, unable to stop himself from uttering the uncharacteristic endearment. A moment later he wished he could have taken it back when Mizuki shot him a puzzled look.
“Thanks, I try,” Mizuki answered flippantly before chuckling. “You are definitely in a mood tonight Mao. Not that I don't appreciate the compliment, but you do know that I am sure thing right? I will make you come.”
“Oh shut up and get back to my balls will you?” Mao shot back, trying to cover up his earlier slip with a rough tug to the younger man’s hair.
Mizuki winked before pushing Mao’s knees apart as far as they could within the confines of his unbuttoned pants. He placed his hand on the vocalist’s chest to push him back into the couch so he could get better access to his testicles.
He nuzzled the soft sac, before following the same path with his tongue. Mao’s breathing became staccato as Mizuki started to rhythmically started clenching and releasing his grip.
Mao sucked the air in between his teeth as Mizuki went back to his cock, deep-throating him with a growl, as the vibrations causing his prick to jerk.
“Fuck my mouth, come on Mao,” Mizuki urged as he frantically starting pulling at his own cock with both hands.
Tightening his hold on Mizuki’s hair, Mao slowly pulled his lover’s head back and forth over his cock, quickly increasing the pace as he felt the guitarist’s throat close around the shaft. Soon he was full out screwing Mizuki’s mouth as the younger man furiously beat himself off.
“Shit I’m coming,” Mao groaned as he felt his control snap. He tried to pull back so as to not choke his lover but Mizuki was having none of it. The guitarist held Mao’s hands in place as warm, salty spunk flooded his palate.
It was only when Mao’s cock ceased to pulse that Mizuki finally let the older man go, semen staining his lips with translucent streaks. Mao was still coming down from his high when he noticed Mizuki was still hard.
“Let me…” Mao offered as he tried to control his breathing. Mizuki shook his head and instead buried his face into Mao’s clothed right thigh.
“It's…okay…Mao…just let me…”
Mao could only stare as Mizuki continued fisting his dick, his eyes closed in bliss. He watched him sucking his bottom lip, tasting his seed as his movements grew more erratic.
It satisfied a part of Mao’s ego to watch Mizuki come so undone just from blowing him. But a small traitorous part of him wondered, who was it that Mizuki saw from behind his eyelids. Was it Mao? Or was it one of his lovers on the side? Was that the reason why he wanted to finish himself off without Mao’s help?
But he was once more distracted by Mizuki burrowing his face even further and bit down on his thigh as he came with a belly-deep groan and spilled all over the floor.
After giving him a few minutes, Mao gently stroked Mizuki’s hair from the crown down to the nape.
“You okay?” he asked and Mizuki nodded in response. “Let’s go to bed shall we?”
Once again Mizuki nodded as he struggled to his feet with Mao’s help. Mizuki groaned as he stretched his full height and felt his joints pop.
“Fuck that was sexy but hard on the knees,” Mizuki grinned wryly. Mao rolled his eyes.
“Well you ruined my favourite pair of pants, so we’re even,” Mao said as they walked to Mizuki’s bedroom. On the way he stripped off his cargos, wrinkling his nose a little at the stains before throwing it to one side.
The taller man followed suit, throwing his pants into the laundry basket before the both of them crawled into bed in just their tank tops.
Mizuki’s eyes started closing the minute his head hit the pillow. But Mao wasn't ready to let him go just yet, pulling him close for another kiss.
“By the way, you wanted to talk to me about something Mao?” Mizuki asked sleepily as he lazily returned the kiss.
Mao opened his mouth, and then hesitated. A part of him stubbornly refused to ruin the mood, and plus Mizuki was already half asleep.
“Nothing that can’t wait Mi,” Mao said as he turned off the light.
“Actually, I wanted to go another round and have you fuck me, but I guess that will have to wait,” Mizuki said pulled the blanket up to his shoulders.
“Well we can always make love in the morning,” Mao said as he folded his arms behind his head. He stiffened however when he heard Mizuki give a small laugh.
“Make love, look at you all romantic,” said Mizuki with a yawn before falling fast asleep.
And just like that, Mao felt irritation flare in his chest. It seemed that no matter what he said, Mizuki didn't seem to take him seriously. It made Mao think that when they eventually had their talk, whether Mizuki would just brush it off.
Maybe he needed some advice on the matter, and he knew exactly who to call.
“I just hope he doesn't hang up on me,” Mao thought before he closed his eyes.
***
“How do you do it Kyo?”
“What? Take a call? Well first my phone rings, then I pick it up, press something called an ‘answer key’, then tell whoever it is on the other end to fuck off and then go back to sleep.”
Mao cringed as sarcasm practically dripped from the mouthpiece of the phone as he wondered for the hundredth time that day whether calling the Dir en grey vocalist was a good idea.
“What the fuck do you mean, how do I do it Mao?” Kyo snarled.
“I mean, how do you contain your overly perky boyfriend,” Mao answered, knowing that as pissed as Kyo was, he had probably said enough to pique his curiosity.
Besides, he needed an answer from Kyo tonight as it was one of those rare nights where he was alone in his apartment. The window was open and Mao registered at the back of his mind the sound of faint traffic as Osaka wound down for the night.
But Kyo’s annoyed sigh from across the line rung as loud as a bell as was the sound of Final Fantasy victory music. Mao bit his lip, well at least he wasn't interrupting him in the middle of something important.
“This is about that guitarist of yours isn’t it? The one who acts is if he is in constant need of ADD medication?”
“Yeah Mizuki,” Mao said as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Every time I want to discuss something important with him, or when I try to be serious with him, he brushes it off.”
Kyo let out an exasperated grunt.
“You know Mao, when I gave you my number, it was chiefly for you to ask me for career advice. I am fine with that, even when you took some of my suggestions too literally for my tastes.”
Kyo took a deep breath and Mao physically recoiled.
“However, at what point did I ever give you the impression that I was some kind of Dr Phil lovelorn relationship counseling hotline!?”
Mao had to hold his phone away from his ear as Kyo’s voice grew progressively louder. But the Sadie vocalist wouldn't be deterred.
“Look, I really like Yomi. He is a really solid guy and barrels loads of fun. But we all know he isn’t the sanest jellybean in the jar. And I know you and I know your short temper, so I just want to know how you put up with it.”
Mao held his breath as Kyo suddenly went silent. It stretched so long that Mao thought that the older man had hung up on him until he heard the soft creak of leather, which told him that Kyo was probably on his couch.
“Contrary to what people might believe, nobody ‘contains’ Yomi. Not even me. Even though he is happy to let me hold the reins in the relationship, I can’t push him to do something he doesn't want or stop him from doing what he wants.”
Kyo gave a dark chuckle.
“If he did, I would have probably told him to stop all that Sendai Komatsu shit a long time ago. You think I like him showing his ass to the world?”
Mao had to laugh at Kyo’s statement as he knew very well how wild Yomi’s alter ego Chiba could get. But to be frank, even when he was just himself, the Nightmare vocalist's personality was so bubbly that it practically bounced off the walls.
“Does this have anything to do with that side band of his? With Tatsurou and the other misfits he brought together? Is that why you are suddenly bothering me?” Kyo asked.
Mao had to rub his nose at how perceptive the other vocalist was. Even though he acted like he wouldn't give a shit even if the world crumbled around him, Kyo possessed an uncanny knack of being able to see through any bullshit.
Kyo took his silence as a yes and continued on.
“You know, it's not as if Yomi and I have all the time in the world for each other. I have my own things to do as well. Admittedly however, it’s probably harder for you because you are in the same band.”
“I just wish,” Mao started and then stopped as he tried to organise his thoughts. “I just wish he took us, more seriously that’s all. The way that I do.”
“But he isn’t you Mao. And to be frank, isn’t that what drew you to him in the first place? Because he is so different from you? It was the same thing that drew me to Yomi as well.”
Mao could hear Kyo’s voice soften ever so slightly and for some reason, it made his insides ache a little. But Kyo’s next words made his gut do a twist.
“You know, these feelings you have will go away once you admit to yourself and him that you want a proper relationship.”
Mao’s jaw dropped.
“How…how did you…” Mao stuttered.
“Know? From how strung out you sound. Come on Mao it's fucking obvious and I’m not an idiot.”
“Like you are such a role model,” Mao shot back, his annoyance at being given the exact same advice time and time again making him bold enough to answer back to his idol.
“I admit, it took a while. This fucking-as-friends arrangement is tempting as hell. But at one point, I was almost as screwed up as you. So eventually I strapped on a pair and told Yomi that it was only going to be him in my life. And like you said, you do know me to an extent, and you know that is as close to as an ‘I love you’ as I get.”
“Kyo…I’m sorry…” Mao said, suddenly ashamed at how rude he was.
But Kyo ignored his apology and just kept talking.
“And Yomi tells me he loves me enough. In fact, I would be very pissed off if he suddenly stopped telling me.”
Another bout of silence, which was also eventually broken by the rustle of Kyo’s leather couch.
“That is what works for Yomi and me. Yes, I don't approve all he does, but I wouldn't have him any other way. At least it keeps the relationship from being boring.”
Mao leaned back on to his bed as he heard Kyo draw a soft breath.
“So you wanted my advice, so here it is. Grow some balls and fucking tell him. Tell him you love him, tell him you hate him, I don't give a shit. But just tell him. Tell him now so that you can leave me in peace.”
Kyo sighed.
“Mao, you can’t have a future when you don't even have a starting point to build on.”
And with that, Kyo hung up having said all he needed to. Leaving Mao alone in the dark, alone to ponder his thoughts long into the night.
***
Kyo’s words kept haunting Mao in the days that followed. He knew the Dir en grey vocalist was right of course, as were Kei and Aki before him.
And yet he kept putting it off, giving himself excuses that the timing wasn't right or that they were simply too busy. Like a drowning man desperate for a life preserver, he grabbed on to any sliver of a reason not to.
But as with any pressured situation, it was only a matter of time before something cracked. And by that time, Mao already knew that he was too late.
It was early in the morning when it all started.
It must have been around six when Mao jerked awake, his heart racing, as was always the way when someone is woken up suddenly. But he calmed down when he spotted Mizuki’s caramel hair messily spilled out on the pillow next to him.
It had actually been the unfamiliar surroundings that had probably woken Mao up. They were in a hotel room back in Tokyo to run some errands for their respective side projects.
A half smile on his face, Mao pulled his duvet around him even closer to ward off the chilly morning air that threatened to creep in the space between them.
He was suddenly struck by the need to be closer to the younger man, scooting forward a few inches so that he could wrap a hand around Mizuki’s chest, spooning him.
Idly he stroked at his nipples, gently enough so that he wouldn't startle him but hard enough so that the sensitive flesh pebbled beneath his fingertips.
Slowly, he kissed the base of the guitarist’s neck for a few minutes, heating the cold skin so that a visible flush streaked across the surface. Mao soon grew bold enough to let his hand travel lower, across the flat muscled plane of his abdomen until his was a hairsbreadth away from his pelvis.
“Mmm…Mao?” Mizuki mumbled sleepily.
“Shhh…it's okay, it's early,” Mao said softly as his nails tangled in the neat patch of pubic hair just below Mizuki’s belt line. He grinned when he held the base of Mizuki’s cock and felt it half hard. A case of morning wood no doubt.
“Oh to be young,” Mao grinned to himself as he slowly moved his fist up and down Mizuki’s member, coaxing it to full hardness. Mizuki moaned and arched into Mao’s embrace.
“Horny this morning are we?” Mizuki asked, his voice slowly gaining its customary cheeky tone as he rubbed the grogginess from his eyes.
“Is that a bad thing baby?” Mao asked he bumped his own erection against Mizuki’s ass, the warm pressure making his toes curl.
“Mmm no it’s not Mao….just keep doing….oh fuck!”
Mao blinked as Mizuki suddenly threw back the covers and hurriedly stood up. The older man just lay there, his mouth agape as he watched Mizuki rush to the bathroom.
“I’m going to be late for the PV shoot!” Mizuki cried out. Mao gritted his teeth as he heard the sound of running water and brushing teeth. Of course, since Mao didn't share the same sense of urgency, it was obvious that it wasn't a Sadie PV that Mizuki was rushing for.
“Fuck this, fuck this to hell!” Mao thought angrily as he stood up and reached for his clothes.
He was just buckling his belt when Mizuki walked back into the room, already dressed in his jeans.
“Mao? Why are you getting dressed? I thought you told me your appointment wasn't until lunch time?” Mizuki asked confused as he pulled a shirt over his head and started stuffing various things into his shoulder bag.
“Well, since you definitely don't want me around, why the hell should I stay Mi?” Mao said as he mirrored Mizuki’s actions and filled his own bag.
Mizuki’s eyes narrowed. Usually for Mao his patience was as deep as the ocean, but the vocalist’s sharp mood swings were getting too frequent for his liking.
“What the fuck is wrong with you these days Mao? It’s as if every time I have to go and do Karasu things, you get all hurt and wounded like a fucking girl. What? I’m not allowed to have my own life?”
Mao turned around and glared at the younger man. But Mizuki wasn't one to back down, not when he knew that he had done nothing wrong.
“Of course you can do your own things Mi. But can’t you see that it’s screwing us up?” Mao fired back.
“What us Mao! We screw around, that is about it! What is this ‘us’ that you keep talking about?” Mizuki unable to contain his own temper from bubbling over.
Mao felt as if he had been given a hard kick to the stomach.
“Is that how little you think of me? Of how I feel?” Mao said quietly, but his words practically seethed.
“No I don't, but I can’t deal with you when you are like this Mao! God even my last girlfriend wasn't as possessively prissy as you are,” Mizuki said as he shrugged on his jacket.
Mao opened his mouth to reply, but didn't get a chance as Mizuki roughly pushed past him for the door. But before he walked through the doorway, he spun on his heel to face the older man.
“You know, I only agreed to this arrangement between us because it works. We fit into each other’s life and it makes us both happy. But if it doesn't work any more than maybe it’s time we stop it,” Mizuki said coldly before storming out and slamming the door behind him.
The minute he was gone, Mao groaned and fell back on the bed with his head in his hands. And the worst part was, he knew that it was his fault. If he had been honest earlier, if he had only told him.
If, if, if. That was all he had at this point, ifs and buts.
“What am I going to do?” Mao said out loud.
The rational part of him told him that their blow up had been nothing more than just frayed tempers and testosterone. That once they both calmed down, it would all be okay.
But still, Mao couldn't help that small cold hand of doubt squeezing his heart. Before this, Mao’s courage to tell Mizuki about how he felt was given weight by his belief that the guitarist loved him as much as he did. That he too, wanted more.
Yet, the callous way that Mizuki had dismissed their relationship made him question whether that was truly the case. And it made him wonder, if he could really fix what was broken between them.
Whether this really was the end.
***
Part II: Answer
***
Fandom: Sadie
Pairings: MaoxMizuki, AkixKei
Rating: NC17
Spoilers/Warnings: Smex
Prompt: (#8) The Phonebooth from 30_lemons, table found here
Disclaimers: I don’t own them, I’m not implying any of this is true, God isn’t that nice to me.
Summary: Mao and Mizuki have always been fast friends, from when Sadie first started. Eventually their relationship evolved into something more, but for Mao it has not become enough. But as he struggles with telling his lover, has Mizuki already found someone else?
A/N: This fic another one of my Ten Lemons for Ten Pairings series inspired by the 30_lemons challenge. This time the featured band is Sadie, inspired by two Rock n Read photoshoots of vocalist Mao and guitarist Mizuki. The band is love in general and deserve more stories written about them ^^ And much love goes to aitakute for the wonderful header she made me!
This is part one, and I'm aiming to post part 2 (which I am writing) as soon as possible. So please enjoy and comments are always loved and much appreciated and make me write faster ^_^
***
~Part I: Call~
***
“The number you have dialed is currently….”
A soft curse. The muffled click of a pressed switch hook. The digital crunch of numbers being punched.
“The number you have dialed….”
Curse, click, crunch.
“The number…”
Mao sighed to himself as he cycled his three actions, only to be met every single time by the chirpy female voice of the network provider. Times like this he always wanted to meet the woman behind the voice so as to see what drugs she took to make herself sound so happy.
Cradling the earpiece between his shoulder, Mao sighed again as he fiddled with the hastily obtained change in his pocket, finding both the weight of the coins and the gesture unfamiliar. In this day and age, it seemed to him so archaic to be using a pay phone.
Coin-operated no less, he didn't even know those existed in Tokyo anymore.
“But it’s not as if I have a choice really,” Mao thought as he took out his phone and gave it a little shake, as if in hopes that a little kinetic energy could get it going again. He frowned when he saw a flicker of light, a teasing glimpse of life, only for the entire screen to go blank again.
His phone had never been the same since Kei accidentally spilled orange juice on it a week ago. Although he had managed to dry it out, the phone had a tendency to die on him without warning.
His manager had urged him to get a new one, after all Osaka was hardly wanting for mobile phone shops, but Mao had kept putting it off. It wasn't just his packed schedule rather it was the fact he wasn’t completely comfortable palming off this particular task for someone else to do.
And for the most part his phone worked fine. But Sod’s law being what it was, it would always choose to fail at times when he needed it the most. Already he had shown up at the wrong location for an interview and had gotten the cold shoulder from co-bandleader Aki twice for missing appointments.
And of course, there were times like this when his sort-of boyfriend Mizuki was supposed to pick him up but was 45 minutes late.
“Bloody idiot, why have a mobile phone if you don’t turn it on?” Mao chastised impotently down the mouthpiece. It was baffling actually, as frenetic as their lives were, Mizuki would surely notice a dead phone.
In the end Mao finally gave up and dialed Aki’s number. After all, they were all heading to the studio, surely the bassist wouldn't mind making a little detour to pick up him up.
Fine, he would give him shit for it, but there wasn't a taxi in sight so it was better than Aki being pissed at him being late again.
“Hello!” a voice answered after the first ring, a voice entirely to perky to be Aki’s.
“Kei?” Mao responded dumbly. “What are you doing picking up Aki’s phone?”
“Well since we spent the night together, we decided it would be more economical to take one car. And, he is driving at the moment,” Kei said, his words accompanied by a soft grunt in the background that told Mao he was probably on speakerphone.
Of course, it had almost slipped Mao’s mind that Kei was in fact Aki’s actual boyfriend. A fact the two of them had announced a couple of weeks ago that the rest of the band was still trying to wrap their collective minds around.
“Right, well I need you guys to do me a favour and pick me up. Mizuki was supposed to but he seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth,” Mao said trying to mask his annoyance and worry behind a casual tone.
“He has some last minute Karasu things to do this morning, something about needing to re-record some of his parts. I thought he would have told you, he told me about an hour ago,” Aki’s voice suddenly came across the wire.
Mao groaned inwardly and leaned his forehead against the glass of the phone booth. Karasu, Mizuki’s little side project with Tatsurou that he had assured Mao wouldn't take up that much time, which of course it had.
“He probably did but my phone is dead thanks to reasons we all know why,” Mao said accusingly.
“Accident Mao! Stop whining and tell us where you are so we can pick you up. The vein in Aki’s head is starting to throb at the thought of us all being late,” Kei said, causing Mao to grin wryly as he gave them the address.
Twenty minutes later, Mao was just finishing his cigarette as Aki’s car came around the corner. Hastily stubbing it out, he grabbed his bag and got into the backseat only to be greeted by the sight of Kei’s hand on top of Aki’s of the gearstick.
He wasn't sure why, but the characteristic “couple” gesture left a slight bitter taste in his mouth. Probably because he and Mizuki never did things like that, both dismissing such shows of affection as cliché.
“What the hell were you doing out here in the boondocks Mao?” Kei asked over his shoulder as Aki maneuvered back on to the main road.
“Some designer wants me to collaborate on a jewelry line. He picked me up this morning and brought me to his studio out here, cheaper rent he says,” Mao said as he rested his chin on the heel of his hand.
Kei shot the vocalist a concerned look as he saw Mao staring distractedly out of the window through the rearview mirror, pausing occasionally to stare at the dead phone he was turning round and around in the palm of his hand.
“You shouldn't be so upset with him Mao, it wasn't as if he purposely stood you up,” Kei said as he loosened his seatbelt so he could turn around.
“Kei,” Aki said, his name coming out in a low warning growl from the base of his throat, but the drummer was unperturbed. Kei knew Aki’s views about getting involved in each other’s personal lives, but the older man’s principals weren’t his own.
“I’m not upset Kei, after all, it's not as if I am his keeper or anything,” Mao said but cringed at the defensive edge to his words.
Kei let out a sound of exasperation.
“I don't understand the both of you. You’re best friends, you both practically live in each other’s pockets,
and from what I remember hearing, you both have fantastic sex if his moans are anything to go by….”
“What the fuck, you mean you've heard us?” Mao sputtered.
Kei rolled his eyes at Mao’s sudden prudishness.
“Mao, why don't you just tell him you love him, that you want to be his boyfriend so we can all live happily ever after,” Kei said bluntly.
Mao's skin rankled as he recognised Kei’s tone of voice. It was the exact same tone he used a few years ago when he told the both of them that they should stop pussyfooting around and just fucking date.
It was that tone of voice that had gotten them into this situation in the first place.
Kei was right though, about how perfectly their lives seem fit together. So much so that even when he was dating other people, no matter if it was a boy or a girl, all played second fiddle to the guitarist in the structure of Mao’s life.
There was a reason why it was him and only him that Mao kissed during lives.
However, a romantic relationship was something Mao wasn't sure was worth jeapordising their friendship over. So early on, he and Mizuki had agreed to keep things casual, no ties, no promises of commitment, just an open relationship built and grounded on their mutual respect and fondness for each other.
“And Kei is right about the fabulous sex,” Mao thought dryly.
But Mao also knew that what they had was getting not to be enough. You couldn't claim to have a casual attachment to someone and yet get insanely jealous every time you see your partner flirt with the first cute, dumb blonde that he came across.
Mao stopped himself short and gave himself a mental slap, which was followed by a sharp twinge of guilt. Hiroto was a nice guy, hardly a Mensa candidate, but a genuinely nice guy nonetheless.
However if he ever caught him touching Mizuki again, he would take his kneecaps out.
“We’re here,” Aki suddenly announced as they pulled into the parking lot of the recording studio, rousing
Mao out of his thoughts. As his surroundings sharpened into focus, he caught Aki giving Kei a look that said ‘drop it’ but softened it with a quick kiss before they exited the car.
As Kei walked ahead, Mao started when he felt Aki suddenly grab him by the shoulder in mid-step and pulled him closer.
“Kei is right you know, you and Mi have to sort yourselves out. You have nothing to lose Mao by telling him the truth, not feeling the way you do,” Aki said quietly into his ear.
Mao bit back a resigned sigh as he nodded in agreement. Next to Mizuki, Aki was his closest friend in the band, whose advice often came straight from the hip.
“I’ll talk to him tonight,” Mao said softly. “Thanks man,” he added gruffly as he bumped Aki’s shoulder with his own.
“Anytime, can’t have you always being late, it costs money,” Aki said, his words accompanied by one of his rare smiles as they walked instep towards the door.
***
A few hours later though when they were back in Osaka, Mao wasn't feeling so brave anymore. It wasn't that he was scared though, nothing much scared the vocalist.
Rather he was comfortable
.
Mao shot Mizuki a side-glance and gave a smile as he saw him immersed in the show they were watching on TV. It was one of the rare occasions where Mizuki was silent as his infamous motor mouth was working a mile a minute on a handful of blueberries and almonds.
The bowls of the squirrel food dotting Mizuki’s apartment were part of his latest campaign to improve their skin condition, which he had proudly told Mao he had picked up from a women’s magazine.
However, the awkward way Mizuki was laying on his side with his feet splayed on Mao’s lap made the older man worry that he might choke on a nut. He mitigated the feeling by pressing his thumb into the arch of the guitarist’s foot and smirked when Mizuki sighed and melted into the couch.
“That’s nice Mao,” Mizuki said as he stretched his long torso and wiggled his toes. Mao took the hint and
pressed the heel of his hand to the ball of his foot and pressed back to stretch the muscles on the underside of Mizuki’s calf.
Mao did admit that he adored his lover’s long legs, clad in anything from tight designer jeans to frayed track pants. He dropped a kiss on Mizuki’s ankle, which earned him a wink from the guitarist.
“There is that word again, comfortable,” Mao thought as he applied more pressure.
But when he looked up, he saw Mizuki once again enraptured by Jack Bauer’s antics on the screen, which made him quirk an eyebrow. Slowly, Mao began inching upwards until Mizuki’s thighs were resting on his legs.
“Hey.”
Mizuki turned in surprise at Mao’s sudden closeness with an almond between his teeth. That was all the invitation Mao needed to close the gap between them and close his mouth over Mizuki’s, kissing him slow and soft as he sucked the almond into his own mouth.
He crunched it with his back jaw as Mizuki prolonged the kiss, his lip-ring cold against his mouth, a contrast to the warm tongue that was currently tangling with his own. In that fleeting touch Mao could taste the bitter smokiness of the almonds over the sweet sourness of the berries and felt his skin flush.
When they pulled back, Mao felt a trickle of goosebumps at the heated look in Mizuki’s eyes.
“Hey,” Mizuki said, moving forward again to lightly kiss Mao again.
“Hey,” Mao echoed his earlier reply, licking Mizuki’s bottom lip in a teasing gesture that elicited a soft noise from the guitarist.
“Mao, wasn't there something you were supposed to talk to him about?” niggled his conscience, which the vocalist firmly pushed to the back of his head. At this moment some fantastic sex, as Kei had so aptly called it earlier, was the more pressing thing.
Mizuki seemed to have the same idea as his hands went to the collar of Mao’s shirt and started pulling at it.
And he would have probably succeeded at pulling it off if it wasn't for the annoying sound of the his cell phone going off.
Mizuki instantly pulled away to search for it, which left Mao feeling bereft.
“Leave it,” Mao growled, reaching downwards to the crotch of Mizuki’s trousers, hoping that it would be enough to distract him, but to no avail.
“Hang on a sec Mao, its Hiroto,” Mizuki said, absently pushing Mao’s hand away.
Hiroto, that damn name was like a splash of cold water to his libido, killing any erection he may have had. Mao finally gave up and moved towards the end of the couch, his face dark as thunder.
“Hey Hiroto what’s up? No, doing anything really, just a quiet night at home,” Mizuki said, as he shot the vocalist an apologetic look and gestured that he wouldn't be that long on the phone.
That didn't help improve Mao’s mood however as he crossed his legs, sinking his chin into his chest as Mizuki discussed with Alice Nine’s guitarist Karasu’s upcoming photoshoot.
“See, if you had talked to him first, you wouldn't be feeling this way,” nagged his conscience again, which was starting to sound uncannily like Kei.
“Shut up,” Mao muttered under his breath as Mizuki wrapped up his call, cheerfully telling Hiroto that he would see him next week.
“Right, now where were we?” Mizuki said cheekily, switching off his phone and throwing it behind him. But his expression turned to worry at the dark look on Mao’s face.
“Mao? Sorry but I had to take that call. What’s wrong?” Mizuki asked quietly as he reached for his lover, only to have his hand pushed away.
“Hey, come on. The call wasn't that long, your mood couldn't have died that much,” Mizuki cajoled as he dropped to his knees on the floor and inched closer to Mao.
His brow furrowed when Mao remained silent, sitting as still as a statue even as he kneeled before him with a hand on each of the vocalist’s knees. But Mizuki also felt a faint trace of annoyance at Mao’s sudden pissy attitude, it wasn't as if he had blown him off for no reason.
“I know what will get through to him,” Mizuki thought as he pointedly laid his head on Mao’s groin and rubbed his cheek against the material of his cargo pants.
Mao’s breathing quickened as he felt his dick stir to life again. Mizuki always had that affect on him, getting him hard in a heartbeat every time his mouth was even in the faintest vicinity of his cock. When he pursed his lips or licked at his ring, it was all Mao could do not to drag him to the nearest flat surface.
He felt his anger soften at the sight of Mizuki continually rubbing against him like an oversized cat. His annoyance quickly turned to remorse, Mizuki certainly didn't deserve how he had treated him.
And he knew in that moment, his conscience was right. He needed to sort out this thing between them, whatever it was.
“Mi, we need to talk…” but his words dissolved into a hiss as Mizuki deftly undid his pants and kissed the base of his cock.
“I think, we have done enough talking for this evening, don't you?” Mizuki said huskily as he pulled Mao’s zip down further. “Especially since you decided not to wear any underwear,” Mizuki grinned as he gingerly pulled Mao’s pierced cock out of his pants.
“You know, if you had just mentioned that little fact earlier, you would be fucking me with this thing now and screw any phone calls,” Mizuki smile widened as he traced the silver balls on either side of the head of Mao’s penis.
“Mizuki…come on…we really need to...”
But Mao couldn't carry on when Mizuki took the tip of his cock in his mouth and started to suckle on the sensitive flesh. His heart jumped when Mizuki’s teeth caught on the piercing and his lips wrapped around his shaft.
In one move Mizuki let Mao’s cock drop from his mouth and pushed himself up so that he was eye level with the vocalist. Given their difference in heights, Mizuki didn't have to stretch very far to pepper Mao’s cheek with soft kisses.
“I’m sure talking the last thing on the list of things you want me to do with my mouth at this point, right baby?” Mizuki whispered into Mao’s ear as he wrapped his hand around his lover’s cock.
“People always say I should shut up more anyway, sucking you off at least ensures that.”
“Promises, promises Mi,” Mao chuckled as his lust finally took over, quashing his better judgment.
Mizuki couldn't stop a triumphant smirk at being able to change his lover’s mood and increased the movement of his hand on Mao’s rapidly thickening shaft.
Bowing his head again, this time Mizuki didn’t hesitate before swallowing half of Mao’s cock and aggressively began to suck. Mao arched his back as Mizuki kept taking more of his dick into his mouth and down his throat.
“Yes Mi, like that,” Mao groaned as Mizuki slowly pulled back, his lip-ring grazing the tender skin until he was completely out of his mouth, leaving his cock glistening with saliva.
Mizuki didn't miss a heartbeat before sucking him in again, more vigorously this time, his tongue flicking at all the veins. Soon the apartment was filled with the sounds of wet sucking and Mao’s increasingly heavy pants.
“Mi…you…can…slow down you know…” Mao grunted as Mizuki kept up his frantic pace of working over his cock.
But Mizuki couldn't help himself. Just like how Mao couldn't help getting aroused at the sight of Mizuki’s mouth, the guitarist couldn't contain himself when face to face with his lover’s pierced dick.
He sucked and he slurped, taking it so far in that he almost choked. Soon Mao could feel rivulets of saliva trickling down his balls. But as enjoyable as it was, Mao didn't want his orgasm to come so soon.
“Mi…” Mao said firmly, but his touch was gentle as he traced Mizuki’s jaw. Mizuki got the point and finally slowed down to a snail’s pace, and just let his lips drag across his cock.
Mao bunched his hand in Mizuki’s caramel blonde hair as the younger man slowly jerked him off.
“What? You weren’t enjoying yourself?” Mizuki said mischievously as he bent Mao’s cock upward slightly so he could repeatedly lick the underside as he spoke.
“Idiot, of course I liked it, just…what about you?” Mao asked a little gruffly, suddenly feeling the urge to be tender to the younger lover.
“Don't worry about me Mao, I’m enjoying myself just fine,” Mizuki answered as he deftly undid his own zip with one hand. Pulling down his underwear, he let his cock flop out and Mao watched fascinated as clear beads dripped from the tip and stained the carpet below.
“Now, let me suck your balls will you,” Mizuki said bouncing a little on his heels, unable as always to keep still as he gently rolled the head of Mao’s member between his long fingers.
“Don’t let me stop you,” Mao answered back with a half smile, but before Mizuki could duck his head back down, the vocalist caught him by the chin.
“You're beautiful you know that?” Mao said quietly, unable to stop himself from uttering the uncharacteristic endearment. A moment later he wished he could have taken it back when Mizuki shot him a puzzled look.
“Thanks, I try,” Mizuki answered flippantly before chuckling. “You are definitely in a mood tonight Mao. Not that I don't appreciate the compliment, but you do know that I am sure thing right? I will make you come.”
“Oh shut up and get back to my balls will you?” Mao shot back, trying to cover up his earlier slip with a rough tug to the younger man’s hair.
Mizuki winked before pushing Mao’s knees apart as far as they could within the confines of his unbuttoned pants. He placed his hand on the vocalist’s chest to push him back into the couch so he could get better access to his testicles.
He nuzzled the soft sac, before following the same path with his tongue. Mao’s breathing became staccato as Mizuki started to rhythmically started clenching and releasing his grip.
Mao sucked the air in between his teeth as Mizuki went back to his cock, deep-throating him with a growl, as the vibrations causing his prick to jerk.
“Fuck my mouth, come on Mao,” Mizuki urged as he frantically starting pulling at his own cock with both hands.
Tightening his hold on Mizuki’s hair, Mao slowly pulled his lover’s head back and forth over his cock, quickly increasing the pace as he felt the guitarist’s throat close around the shaft. Soon he was full out screwing Mizuki’s mouth as the younger man furiously beat himself off.
“Shit I’m coming,” Mao groaned as he felt his control snap. He tried to pull back so as to not choke his lover but Mizuki was having none of it. The guitarist held Mao’s hands in place as warm, salty spunk flooded his palate.
It was only when Mao’s cock ceased to pulse that Mizuki finally let the older man go, semen staining his lips with translucent streaks. Mao was still coming down from his high when he noticed Mizuki was still hard.
“Let me…” Mao offered as he tried to control his breathing. Mizuki shook his head and instead buried his face into Mao’s clothed right thigh.
“It's…okay…Mao…just let me…”
Mao could only stare as Mizuki continued fisting his dick, his eyes closed in bliss. He watched him sucking his bottom lip, tasting his seed as his movements grew more erratic.
It satisfied a part of Mao’s ego to watch Mizuki come so undone just from blowing him. But a small traitorous part of him wondered, who was it that Mizuki saw from behind his eyelids. Was it Mao? Or was it one of his lovers on the side? Was that the reason why he wanted to finish himself off without Mao’s help?
But he was once more distracted by Mizuki burrowing his face even further and bit down on his thigh as he came with a belly-deep groan and spilled all over the floor.
After giving him a few minutes, Mao gently stroked Mizuki’s hair from the crown down to the nape.
“You okay?” he asked and Mizuki nodded in response. “Let’s go to bed shall we?”
Once again Mizuki nodded as he struggled to his feet with Mao’s help. Mizuki groaned as he stretched his full height and felt his joints pop.
“Fuck that was sexy but hard on the knees,” Mizuki grinned wryly. Mao rolled his eyes.
“Well you ruined my favourite pair of pants, so we’re even,” Mao said as they walked to Mizuki’s bedroom. On the way he stripped off his cargos, wrinkling his nose a little at the stains before throwing it to one side.
The taller man followed suit, throwing his pants into the laundry basket before the both of them crawled into bed in just their tank tops.
Mizuki’s eyes started closing the minute his head hit the pillow. But Mao wasn't ready to let him go just yet, pulling him close for another kiss.
“By the way, you wanted to talk to me about something Mao?” Mizuki asked sleepily as he lazily returned the kiss.
Mao opened his mouth, and then hesitated. A part of him stubbornly refused to ruin the mood, and plus Mizuki was already half asleep.
“Nothing that can’t wait Mi,” Mao said as he turned off the light.
“Actually, I wanted to go another round and have you fuck me, but I guess that will have to wait,” Mizuki said pulled the blanket up to his shoulders.
“Well we can always make love in the morning,” Mao said as he folded his arms behind his head. He stiffened however when he heard Mizuki give a small laugh.
“Make love, look at you all romantic,” said Mizuki with a yawn before falling fast asleep.
And just like that, Mao felt irritation flare in his chest. It seemed that no matter what he said, Mizuki didn't seem to take him seriously. It made Mao think that when they eventually had their talk, whether Mizuki would just brush it off.
Maybe he needed some advice on the matter, and he knew exactly who to call.
“I just hope he doesn't hang up on me,” Mao thought before he closed his eyes.
***
“How do you do it Kyo?”
“What? Take a call? Well first my phone rings, then I pick it up, press something called an ‘answer key’, then tell whoever it is on the other end to fuck off and then go back to sleep.”
Mao cringed as sarcasm practically dripped from the mouthpiece of the phone as he wondered for the hundredth time that day whether calling the Dir en grey vocalist was a good idea.
“What the fuck do you mean, how do I do it Mao?” Kyo snarled.
“I mean, how do you contain your overly perky boyfriend,” Mao answered, knowing that as pissed as Kyo was, he had probably said enough to pique his curiosity.
Besides, he needed an answer from Kyo tonight as it was one of those rare nights where he was alone in his apartment. The window was open and Mao registered at the back of his mind the sound of faint traffic as Osaka wound down for the night.
But Kyo’s annoyed sigh from across the line rung as loud as a bell as was the sound of Final Fantasy victory music. Mao bit his lip, well at least he wasn't interrupting him in the middle of something important.
“This is about that guitarist of yours isn’t it? The one who acts is if he is in constant need of ADD medication?”
“Yeah Mizuki,” Mao said as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Every time I want to discuss something important with him, or when I try to be serious with him, he brushes it off.”
Kyo let out an exasperated grunt.
“You know Mao, when I gave you my number, it was chiefly for you to ask me for career advice. I am fine with that, even when you took some of my suggestions too literally for my tastes.”
Kyo took a deep breath and Mao physically recoiled.
“However, at what point did I ever give you the impression that I was some kind of Dr Phil lovelorn relationship counseling hotline!?”
Mao had to hold his phone away from his ear as Kyo’s voice grew progressively louder. But the Sadie vocalist wouldn't be deterred.
“Look, I really like Yomi. He is a really solid guy and barrels loads of fun. But we all know he isn’t the sanest jellybean in the jar. And I know you and I know your short temper, so I just want to know how you put up with it.”
Mao held his breath as Kyo suddenly went silent. It stretched so long that Mao thought that the older man had hung up on him until he heard the soft creak of leather, which told him that Kyo was probably on his couch.
“Contrary to what people might believe, nobody ‘contains’ Yomi. Not even me. Even though he is happy to let me hold the reins in the relationship, I can’t push him to do something he doesn't want or stop him from doing what he wants.”
Kyo gave a dark chuckle.
“If he did, I would have probably told him to stop all that Sendai Komatsu shit a long time ago. You think I like him showing his ass to the world?”
Mao had to laugh at Kyo’s statement as he knew very well how wild Yomi’s alter ego Chiba could get. But to be frank, even when he was just himself, the Nightmare vocalist's personality was so bubbly that it practically bounced off the walls.
“Does this have anything to do with that side band of his? With Tatsurou and the other misfits he brought together? Is that why you are suddenly bothering me?” Kyo asked.
Mao had to rub his nose at how perceptive the other vocalist was. Even though he acted like he wouldn't give a shit even if the world crumbled around him, Kyo possessed an uncanny knack of being able to see through any bullshit.
Kyo took his silence as a yes and continued on.
“You know, it's not as if Yomi and I have all the time in the world for each other. I have my own things to do as well. Admittedly however, it’s probably harder for you because you are in the same band.”
“I just wish,” Mao started and then stopped as he tried to organise his thoughts. “I just wish he took us, more seriously that’s all. The way that I do.”
“But he isn’t you Mao. And to be frank, isn’t that what drew you to him in the first place? Because he is so different from you? It was the same thing that drew me to Yomi as well.”
Mao could hear Kyo’s voice soften ever so slightly and for some reason, it made his insides ache a little. But Kyo’s next words made his gut do a twist.
“You know, these feelings you have will go away once you admit to yourself and him that you want a proper relationship.”
Mao’s jaw dropped.
“How…how did you…” Mao stuttered.
“Know? From how strung out you sound. Come on Mao it's fucking obvious and I’m not an idiot.”
“Like you are such a role model,” Mao shot back, his annoyance at being given the exact same advice time and time again making him bold enough to answer back to his idol.
“I admit, it took a while. This fucking-as-friends arrangement is tempting as hell. But at one point, I was almost as screwed up as you. So eventually I strapped on a pair and told Yomi that it was only going to be him in my life. And like you said, you do know me to an extent, and you know that is as close to as an ‘I love you’ as I get.”
“Kyo…I’m sorry…” Mao said, suddenly ashamed at how rude he was.
But Kyo ignored his apology and just kept talking.
“And Yomi tells me he loves me enough. In fact, I would be very pissed off if he suddenly stopped telling me.”
Another bout of silence, which was also eventually broken by the rustle of Kyo’s leather couch.
“That is what works for Yomi and me. Yes, I don't approve all he does, but I wouldn't have him any other way. At least it keeps the relationship from being boring.”
Mao leaned back on to his bed as he heard Kyo draw a soft breath.
“So you wanted my advice, so here it is. Grow some balls and fucking tell him. Tell him you love him, tell him you hate him, I don't give a shit. But just tell him. Tell him now so that you can leave me in peace.”
Kyo sighed.
“Mao, you can’t have a future when you don't even have a starting point to build on.”
And with that, Kyo hung up having said all he needed to. Leaving Mao alone in the dark, alone to ponder his thoughts long into the night.
***
Kyo’s words kept haunting Mao in the days that followed. He knew the Dir en grey vocalist was right of course, as were Kei and Aki before him.
And yet he kept putting it off, giving himself excuses that the timing wasn't right or that they were simply too busy. Like a drowning man desperate for a life preserver, he grabbed on to any sliver of a reason not to.
But as with any pressured situation, it was only a matter of time before something cracked. And by that time, Mao already knew that he was too late.
It was early in the morning when it all started.
It must have been around six when Mao jerked awake, his heart racing, as was always the way when someone is woken up suddenly. But he calmed down when he spotted Mizuki’s caramel hair messily spilled out on the pillow next to him.
It had actually been the unfamiliar surroundings that had probably woken Mao up. They were in a hotel room back in Tokyo to run some errands for their respective side projects.
A half smile on his face, Mao pulled his duvet around him even closer to ward off the chilly morning air that threatened to creep in the space between them.
He was suddenly struck by the need to be closer to the younger man, scooting forward a few inches so that he could wrap a hand around Mizuki’s chest, spooning him.
Idly he stroked at his nipples, gently enough so that he wouldn't startle him but hard enough so that the sensitive flesh pebbled beneath his fingertips.
Slowly, he kissed the base of the guitarist’s neck for a few minutes, heating the cold skin so that a visible flush streaked across the surface. Mao soon grew bold enough to let his hand travel lower, across the flat muscled plane of his abdomen until his was a hairsbreadth away from his pelvis.
“Mmm…Mao?” Mizuki mumbled sleepily.
“Shhh…it's okay, it's early,” Mao said softly as his nails tangled in the neat patch of pubic hair just below Mizuki’s belt line. He grinned when he held the base of Mizuki’s cock and felt it half hard. A case of morning wood no doubt.
“Oh to be young,” Mao grinned to himself as he slowly moved his fist up and down Mizuki’s member, coaxing it to full hardness. Mizuki moaned and arched into Mao’s embrace.
“Horny this morning are we?” Mizuki asked, his voice slowly gaining its customary cheeky tone as he rubbed the grogginess from his eyes.
“Is that a bad thing baby?” Mao asked he bumped his own erection against Mizuki’s ass, the warm pressure making his toes curl.
“Mmm no it’s not Mao….just keep doing….oh fuck!”
Mao blinked as Mizuki suddenly threw back the covers and hurriedly stood up. The older man just lay there, his mouth agape as he watched Mizuki rush to the bathroom.
“I’m going to be late for the PV shoot!” Mizuki cried out. Mao gritted his teeth as he heard the sound of running water and brushing teeth. Of course, since Mao didn't share the same sense of urgency, it was obvious that it wasn't a Sadie PV that Mizuki was rushing for.
“Fuck this, fuck this to hell!” Mao thought angrily as he stood up and reached for his clothes.
He was just buckling his belt when Mizuki walked back into the room, already dressed in his jeans.
“Mao? Why are you getting dressed? I thought you told me your appointment wasn't until lunch time?” Mizuki asked confused as he pulled a shirt over his head and started stuffing various things into his shoulder bag.
“Well, since you definitely don't want me around, why the hell should I stay Mi?” Mao said as he mirrored Mizuki’s actions and filled his own bag.
Mizuki’s eyes narrowed. Usually for Mao his patience was as deep as the ocean, but the vocalist’s sharp mood swings were getting too frequent for his liking.
“What the fuck is wrong with you these days Mao? It’s as if every time I have to go and do Karasu things, you get all hurt and wounded like a fucking girl. What? I’m not allowed to have my own life?”
Mao turned around and glared at the younger man. But Mizuki wasn't one to back down, not when he knew that he had done nothing wrong.
“Of course you can do your own things Mi. But can’t you see that it’s screwing us up?” Mao fired back.
“What us Mao! We screw around, that is about it! What is this ‘us’ that you keep talking about?” Mizuki unable to contain his own temper from bubbling over.
Mao felt as if he had been given a hard kick to the stomach.
“Is that how little you think of me? Of how I feel?” Mao said quietly, but his words practically seethed.
“No I don't, but I can’t deal with you when you are like this Mao! God even my last girlfriend wasn't as possessively prissy as you are,” Mizuki said as he shrugged on his jacket.
Mao opened his mouth to reply, but didn't get a chance as Mizuki roughly pushed past him for the door. But before he walked through the doorway, he spun on his heel to face the older man.
“You know, I only agreed to this arrangement between us because it works. We fit into each other’s life and it makes us both happy. But if it doesn't work any more than maybe it’s time we stop it,” Mizuki said coldly before storming out and slamming the door behind him.
The minute he was gone, Mao groaned and fell back on the bed with his head in his hands. And the worst part was, he knew that it was his fault. If he had been honest earlier, if he had only told him.
If, if, if. That was all he had at this point, ifs and buts.
“What am I going to do?” Mao said out loud.
The rational part of him told him that their blow up had been nothing more than just frayed tempers and testosterone. That once they both calmed down, it would all be okay.
But still, Mao couldn't help that small cold hand of doubt squeezing his heart. Before this, Mao’s courage to tell Mizuki about how he felt was given weight by his belief that the guitarist loved him as much as he did. That he too, wanted more.
Yet, the callous way that Mizuki had dismissed their relationship made him question whether that was truly the case. And it made him wonder, if he could really fix what was broken between them.
Whether this really was the end.
***
Part II: Answer
***