gender shifter
Post to a switch listserve in answer to a query about the existence of any switch groups in member's areas:
I don't do a lot of mingling in the leather community here in Sac. Actually have been something of a hermit re: leather for the past year... doing a lot of personal work, healing, hopefully growth. But when I do venture out, I feel unusual, like I don't really fit the mold. Gender switching as well as switching in age, D/s, etc. is not actually so common in combination, especially outside of major progressive metro areas.
It has been hard to connect with those who really understand me. Even many of my closest friends throughout the country are sometimes a bit overwhelmed by my shifty self. Most people either want me to be consistently male or female, Top or bottom or some combination of the two. I want the freedom to move fluidly. This has been uncomfortable for most people to handle. I think it is disconcerting. Sometimes it is even difficult for me; I want things to be easier, and I get frustrated with myself for being complicated, as if I had a choice in the matter.
Very recently, I have found someone who can move with me and my various switch sides. In some ways, it is calming. (It is other things too, but that's not the point.) I know he has preferences as a general rule, but I feel that with me, he truly enjoys all parts equally. That has been... well, a joy.
Here in town, there is not a switch group that I'm aware of. I've had a hard time feeling comfortable joining exclusively dominant or exclusively submissive groups, since I'm neither. I even struggle joining boy groups or female groups. My friends and I have talked about starting a spiritual leather group. It would be nice to include an element encompassing shape-shifting magic... which is how I'm coming to view my switch ways.
I have often referred to myself recently as having a "dual nature", most pointedly referring to being both femme and a boy. But really, I am so multi-natured, "dual" isn't quite accurate. It only simplifies things to masculine and feminine... and doesn't account for all the multiple permutations.
If I can't have all of those other dimensions and honor them, explore them, manifest them... I lose myself in boundaries as surely as I would by saying I was a submissive femme... or a dominant man... or... you get the drift.
rhiannon/rida
I don't do a lot of mingling in the leather community here in Sac. Actually have been something of a hermit re: leather for the past year... doing a lot of personal work, healing, hopefully growth. But when I do venture out, I feel unusual, like I don't really fit the mold. Gender switching as well as switching in age, D/s, etc. is not actually so common in combination, especially outside of major progressive metro areas.
It has been hard to connect with those who really understand me. Even many of my closest friends throughout the country are sometimes a bit overwhelmed by my shifty self. Most people either want me to be consistently male or female, Top or bottom or some combination of the two. I want the freedom to move fluidly. This has been uncomfortable for most people to handle. I think it is disconcerting. Sometimes it is even difficult for me; I want things to be easier, and I get frustrated with myself for being complicated, as if I had a choice in the matter.
Very recently, I have found someone who can move with me and my various switch sides. In some ways, it is calming. (It is other things too, but that's not the point.) I know he has preferences as a general rule, but I feel that with me, he truly enjoys all parts equally. That has been... well, a joy.
Here in town, there is not a switch group that I'm aware of. I've had a hard time feeling comfortable joining exclusively dominant or exclusively submissive groups, since I'm neither. I even struggle joining boy groups or female groups. My friends and I have talked about starting a spiritual leather group. It would be nice to include an element encompassing shape-shifting magic... which is how I'm coming to view my switch ways.
I have often referred to myself recently as having a "dual nature", most pointedly referring to being both femme and a boy. But really, I am so multi-natured, "dual" isn't quite accurate. It only simplifies things to masculine and feminine... and doesn't account for all the multiple permutations.
If I can't have all of those other dimensions and honor them, explore them, manifest them... I lose myself in boundaries as surely as I would by saying I was a submissive femme... or a dominant man... or... you get the drift.
rhiannon/rida