FIC: Total Surrender (NC-17)
Title: Total Surrender
Pairings: Remus/Fenrir, Remus/Sirius (implied)
Summary: Watch how Remus is tortured by Fenrir. Watch how he surrenders his body to him. Watch out how the Remus fans come after me with pitchforks baring for my blood for what I do to Remus. You could say this is an AU as Fenrir was captured at the end of HBP and this story is set after HBP.
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Language, non-con, torture, bondage, violence, cruelty, humiliation, character death
Disclaimer: The original characters come from the mind of J K Rowling. I don’t own them and I’m certainly not making any profit from this.
Beta: darklove_zorg (Live Journal and Greatest Journal)
Notes: This fic has had many names and gone in many directions but this is only one that truly worked. This is my darkest work and I hope it gets me out his “Must write a darkfic” obsession. The first part is from Remus’ POV but this changes to the third person at the “Two days later” point.
Archive: fanfiction, adultfanfiction, _pottaholics (Live Journal), _sla_ (Live Journal), _whompingwillow (Live Journal), fenrirxremus (Live Journal), furverted (Live Journal), hpslash (Live Journal), monsteruncaged (Live Journal), remuslupain (Live Journal)
Review: Yes please (You can also review it here: http://hp.adultfanfiction.net/authors.php?no=7751)
It’s cold down here. So very cold. It doesn’t help that it’s raining as well. I have been in this hole outdoors for days now and the rain is constantly pouring in. It just doesn’t stop. No matter how much I huddle in my rags, I am still cold and wet. What I wear are too pathetic to be even called rags but they are all I have been given as clothing ever since I was brought here. In fact, it’s probably the first time I’ve been given clothes- usually I am to be naked for my Master, for the bastard that has made my life hell and has given me nightmares ever since I was a small child.
I can’t believe I never saw him coming. One minute, I was heading my way to Grimmauld Place for another meeting with the Order and the next I felt a rough hand from behind placing something over my face, and I was overwhelmed with a most powerful acrid stench - and then everything went black. When I awakened, I found myself naked and trussed up, completely at the mercy of the monster of my nightmares, Fenrir Greyback. He taunted me as I lay there, helpless, and I was almost in tears when he snapped my wand in half. My precious wand that I had had ever since I was eleven. He then proceeded to rape me, abusing my body continuously that night until tears flowed hotly down my face and I was begging him hoarsely to stop - please stop...
But he never did. Days passed in endless dreary succession, and no matter how hard I fought against him, he would ultimately end up taking control. My poor body has always been rather lean and scrawny - I blame the metabolism of the wolf myself - and even though the bastard must have been well into his sixties, if not older, he exhibited incredible strength. I was simply no match for him, even though I am far from being a weak creature. He dominated me, as he always had.
He would rape me until the blood flowed from my aching anus in scarlet rivulets, down my thin legs, from the ferocity of his attacks on my interior, and it did not take long for me to realize just how very sadistic he could be. He took lengths of chain, wrapping them about his meaty fists, first whipping me mercilessly and then using the same chains to strangle me until I passed out. How I prayed at that point for release, for death to claim me as his own rather than endure this. But he invariably knew at which point to ease up on my poor throat so that I would take another breath. With his cruel talons - I swear that the beast filed them, for them to be so very sharp - he dug into the soft flesh of my back, digging and scraping until it resembled a piece of raw meat.
I knew why he was doing this. I had been his property, in his eyes, ever since he had bitten me on that longago day when I was but a child, unable to fight the evil that was Fenrir Greyback. He'd had many victims over the course of his foul career, but many of them had not survived him. I was one of the lucky ones - lucky perhaps being a misnomer - but if I had not survived, I would not have met and fallen in love with Sirius, so from that perspective one could say I was lucky. He'd had so many victims - one indistinguishable from the next. I was no more memorable to him than to any other. In fact, he only recognized me by the mark upon my neck - the mark which he had placed there, his mark. He was a sadistic bastard, Fenrir was - and that was the only motivation he needed to do what he did. And it simply galled him that I was the only werewolf that he could not control.
It took me several weeks of torture and pain before I came to slowly realize that my struggles only made the pain worse, whereas if I simply gave in and allowed what was after all inevitable, it went easier with me. By then, I had made at least ten attempts to escape, and each one had been in vain. The spirit was being beaten out of me, along with my energy, and my will to survive....
Soon after this realisation, he dragged from my dark room somewhere underneath the house to his bedroom and began to unleash his sadistic antics onto me. He tied my hands behind my back (I was always naked and never allowed to wear clothes - part of his plan to keep me submissive) and placed me roughly onto my knees. He unzipped his trousers and pulled out his hardening cock.
"Suck me!" he demanded fiercely.
I licked my lips at his half-erection, “Yes, master.” I had no idea why I said that but it felt right.
He seemed to approve of this because he moaned with delight, “Yes, I am your master. And you are my bitch.”
Without looking up at him, I said, “I am your bitch.”
He sighed in satisfaction, “Then suck me, bitch.”
I sucked and licked his cock, trying not to take in the disgusting taste in my mouth. Disgusting compared to my Sirius, and that thought alone was enough to damn near gag me. I could hear him moaning above me, so I knew that I was pleasuring him in the right way - I suppose that was a good thing or else he might have killed me right then and there. He thrust his fists into my hair, pulling at it as he began to fuck my mouth, so hard that I was desperate for air and struggling not to vomit. When he was ready, he removed his cock from my mouth and threw me onto the bed on my side. He moved to my side and untied my hands. I was surprised- he had never done that before. Maybe it was because I had called him “Master”. But even with my hands free, I made no attempt to fight back. Although it was still rape and I didn’t want him touching me, I knew far too well what the consequences of fighting him were so I laid back and relaxed my body. The penetration was almost painless.
Something else changed, as he assaulted me, his cock brushed against my prostrate which made me moan in involuntary desire and my cock harden. He reached down to touch my cock. I pushed back against him, arching his head back so that Greyback could lean forward and cover my mouth in a deep, hot kiss. I remember climaxing in muscle-shuddering passion at the same time as he emptied himself within me. I knew then I would never leave him. I had surrendered my body to him.
But not my heart. I could never surrender my heart to this sick and twisted individual. And I loved another- my Sirius who had been dead for over a year now. Although I had surrendered myself physically to Greyback, it did not stop him from raping me, beating and pushing me to my physical limits. The difference now was that he had me, now and forever. I was now too weak to fight. It also became easier to bear if I thought about Sirius. Greyback would torture me until I couldn't stand it anymore, but until my breaking point came I became able to detach myself from what was happening to me and focus on my memories of Sirius.
I remember the first day we met on the Hogwarts train. That had been purely accidental. I was trying to find a place to sit when suddenly a Chocolate Frog was thrown at me. I looked up from the floor and saw three mischievous-looking boys in the carriage where the sweet had come from. The long haired one saw me and apologised and invited me into the carriage. That was how it all started- James, Peter, Sirius and I, later known as the Marauders.
I also remember the moment when my best friends told me they knew I was a werewolf and Sirius was the one who held me as I cried. It was then that I realised that I was wanted and loved and I did not need to be afraid anymore. Sirius and I declared our love less than a year later and we had many stolen moments, mainly holding and kissing each other. We made love for the first time when we were 16. We had waited 3 years for the moment but it was a moment well worth the wait. I still remember the candles flickering around the dim room as he took my virginity on an extra soft bedcover.
We were inseparable when we left Hogwarts. We lived together in a flat that Sirius got with money left to him by his Uncle Alphard, and now the love-making was less restricted for there was no longer any fear of getting caught, and we could do as we liked, when we liked. . I had never been so happy but that happiness was gone the moment my Sirius was arrested. I waited for twelve long years and I never stopped believing in his innocence. I could do nothing to get him out of Azkaban but I never stopped loving him. Oh, it was wonderful when we were reunited that night in the Shrieking Shack. I just held onto him and I did not want to let him go. We had one more night of love before he left with Buckbeak. He returned a year later and we spent as much time as possible while he was trapped at Grimmauld Place. We loved each other and needed each other and we spent our last night making love before we set off to save Harry. It was there that he was killed in front of me.
Yes, it is these happy memories of our long time love that kept me company when I was at the mercy of Greyback, being his whore. When I was alone, it gave me a small delight in knowing that all he was getting was a hollow shell of a man that was at his mercy whilst my mind and my heart were with Sirius.
When he made an alliance with Voldemort and the Death Eaters, things only became worse. It all started when they saw me on my knees, completely naked except for a cock ring around my aching erection, and a collar around my neck with a chain attached to it. The Death Eaters found it amusing to see the great Remus Lupin on his knees, whipped, like a domesticated dog rather than a strong wolf, and that he had been broken specifically to do Greyback’s bidding. It took every ounce of energy I possessed to stop myself from crying there and then, but I would not give them the satisfaction of seeing me break. Not yet anyway. Not if I could help it.
While they were hiding out at Greyback’s retreat, week after week, I was told that I had to pleasure them like I pleasured Greyback. They would tie my chain to the bedpost so that I would be forced to kneel on all fours, and they would use their foul curses on me. Their favourite was the Cruciatus. For hours on end, they would place this Unforgivable on me, laughing manically and mocking me as I writhed on the floor in agony.
I was constantly and habitually raped by the male Death Eaters, Antonin Dolohov in particular. I knew how sadistic he was and I knew why he took incredible delight in hearing me scream whilst I was at his mercy. Greyback would always watch to make sure I pleasured his guests. If I didn’t, he would punish me whilst the Death Eaters mocked my weaknesses. They would tie me to the bed and mock my bruised and bloody body as well as my penis. They would sometimes put a tight cock ring on me and make me sit on a vibrator which they attached to a chair and watch as I writhed in passion. They would make my erection very hard and laugh as I came in disgust, whimpering as I held onto the quick pleasures of the orgasm running through my body. They would also take pictures of me and show me the moving pictures of me in pain.
Not even being a werewolf keeps me sane. I am not given Wolfsbane Potion and I have to suffer in my dark dungeon as the curse take hold of me every month. Sometimes, Greyback, who has always revelled in his animal instincts, will rape me at such times, in his wolf form, and bite me as I suffer at his touch anew.
The only peace I receive is in my dreams. Sometimes James and Lily show up but Sirius is always there and most of the time, he is alone. He is a great comfort to me. I can sometimes feel his warm presence wrapped around me, protecting me and keeping me sane just as he had always done when he was alive. Sometimes, at night, I would wish and pray for him to forgive me for succumbing to this sadistic torture. I do not know whether he heard me or not but it was the hope that he did hear me that kept me going.
It’s been several days now and I’m stuck in this hole. Greyback had dug a deep hole and he has thrown me in it. Food scraps were thrown down the hole at the same time and I was given rags to wear. But it’s not enough. I’m a tall person and I have tried to get out but it’s impossible. I’ve not had this much time alone since being captured. I’m just so cold. I’m so weak and so hungry and it’s been raining constantly for the past few days and I’m now sitting in a puddle of muck.
Before he had thrown me into the hole, he had made me stand in front of my mirror and he had mocked my body. I remembered crying as I stared at my wreck of a body. For the first time since I had been brought here, I was now exposed to the repulsive sight. I was always a scrawny person but now I was so skinny, I could see the ribs sticking out of my body and my face was unbelievably thin. I saw the dry bloody scabs scattered all over my unclean body. It is this image that haunts me as I wait in this hole.
Time goes on and the hunger is worse. The rain is my only source of water but the ongoing cold is making me worse. The only comfort in being here is that, for the time, I’m free from the abuse. I’m getting dizzy though and I’ve been sneezing and coughing non-stop. I look at my bloody body and I knew that my body must have been crawling with infection as my wounds were never cleaned. I feel my whole body shutting down. I know why I’ve been put in this hole. I’m no longer needed. They’ve had all they want from me and I’ve been left here to die in agony. I curl up in a ball and just lie and wait.
I can’t stop thinking about how I've failed everyone- James, Lily, Sirius, Harry, the Order, everyone. I should have been stronger than this but I wasn’t. I am the last true Maurader left (that traitor Pettigrew doesn’t count) and I let everyone down. I cry out my hurt and pity, knowing no will hear me. No-one is going to come.
“I’m sorry.” I sobbed, “I’m sorry everyone. I’M SORRY!”
Suddenly I see a bright light in front of me. A figure is coming towards me. How can that be? The hole is very deep and I can barely move in it. But the figure comes closer and closer. I can see him now. It’s my Sirius. I must be going insane. He can’t be here. He just can’t. Sirius is now kneeling by me, his whole body surrounded by white light. He looks so much like he did before his arrest, before Azkaban and before the Dementors had taken their hold on him. He’s so beautiful and full of life.
“No….. No……” My voice is nothing but a croak. “This is not real.”
Sirius smiles softly and gently touches my long and matted hair. “Shhh….. I’m here and I’m real.”
I continue to cry. Why is he being so kind? Doesn’t he realise what I have done?
“I-I-I’m sorry, Sirius. I failed.”
“No. No you haven’t failed anyone. I’ve come to take you home, darling.”
“H-h-h-home?”
“Yes, home. Come with me.”
I see his outstretched hand and for the first time in so long, I am content. I feel no pain, no degradation. All I feel is peace from the suffering. I feel forgiven and content. As I stared into his beautiful eyes, I use all my energy to reach out my hand to touch his. The last thing I remember is smiling.
Two days later
The Second War was over. Harry and the others all stand together, proud of their achievements as the body of Voldemort lies dead upon the floor. Some of the Death Eaters are dead and some have already been arrested. Only one enemy remains free: Fenrir Greyback. Harry and Hermione see him and chase him outside into the field. Using her wand, Hermione cries out “Immobulus” and Greyback is stunned where he stands. They run towards him whilst calling the others.
As Harry stands over him in disgust, Hermione spots something, and says, “Harry, I think you should look at this.”
Harry looks toward where Hermione is pointing. There is a hole beside her and he looks down into it. Curled up inside is a body, clad only in rags. The person within is bruised, bloody, muddy and battered and has his arm outstretched, as if reaching for something.
Harry cries, “Who’s that?”
Greyback chuckles evilly, “My whore. My bitch. Lupin the traitorous bitch.”
Hermione gasps and covers her mouth as tears fall down her face. Remus Lupin had been missing for at least six months. Is this where he ended up, at the mercy of this animal? She feels two hands on her shoulders as Harry holds her comfortingly, trying to hold back the tears himself.
More people arrive at the hole and help to carry away the dead body of Remus Lupin. More tears fall as Remus’ wrecked body is exposed. Harry notices that Remus seems to have a small smile upon his face, as if his last living thoughts were happy ones before he surrendered to death. Four ghosts are watching over them: James Potter, Lily Evans-Potter, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. They watch on with sorrow, pride and hope that the future now looks bright for muggles, witches and wizards alike. As the body is lifted from the hole gently and carried away with care, no-one sees the ghostly visitors disappear into the peaceful world of the afterlife.
Pairings: Remus/Fenrir, Remus/Sirius (implied)
Summary: Watch how Remus is tortured by Fenrir. Watch how he surrenders his body to him. Watch out how the Remus fans come after me with pitchforks baring for my blood for what I do to Remus. You could say this is an AU as Fenrir was captured at the end of HBP and this story is set after HBP.
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Language, non-con, torture, bondage, violence, cruelty, humiliation, character death
Disclaimer: The original characters come from the mind of J K Rowling. I don’t own them and I’m certainly not making any profit from this.
Beta: darklove_zorg (Live Journal and Greatest Journal)
Notes: This fic has had many names and gone in many directions but this is only one that truly worked. This is my darkest work and I hope it gets me out his “Must write a darkfic” obsession. The first part is from Remus’ POV but this changes to the third person at the “Two days later” point.
Archive: fanfiction, adultfanfiction, _pottaholics (Live Journal), _sla_ (Live Journal), _whompingwillow (Live Journal), fenrirxremus (Live Journal), furverted (Live Journal), hpslash (Live Journal), monsteruncaged (Live Journal), remuslupain (Live Journal)
Review: Yes please (You can also review it here: http://hp.adultfanfiction.net/authors.php?no=7751)
It’s cold down here. So very cold. It doesn’t help that it’s raining as well. I have been in this hole outdoors for days now and the rain is constantly pouring in. It just doesn’t stop. No matter how much I huddle in my rags, I am still cold and wet. What I wear are too pathetic to be even called rags but they are all I have been given as clothing ever since I was brought here. In fact, it’s probably the first time I’ve been given clothes- usually I am to be naked for my Master, for the bastard that has made my life hell and has given me nightmares ever since I was a small child.
I can’t believe I never saw him coming. One minute, I was heading my way to Grimmauld Place for another meeting with the Order and the next I felt a rough hand from behind placing something over my face, and I was overwhelmed with a most powerful acrid stench - and then everything went black. When I awakened, I found myself naked and trussed up, completely at the mercy of the monster of my nightmares, Fenrir Greyback. He taunted me as I lay there, helpless, and I was almost in tears when he snapped my wand in half. My precious wand that I had had ever since I was eleven. He then proceeded to rape me, abusing my body continuously that night until tears flowed hotly down my face and I was begging him hoarsely to stop - please stop...
But he never did. Days passed in endless dreary succession, and no matter how hard I fought against him, he would ultimately end up taking control. My poor body has always been rather lean and scrawny - I blame the metabolism of the wolf myself - and even though the bastard must have been well into his sixties, if not older, he exhibited incredible strength. I was simply no match for him, even though I am far from being a weak creature. He dominated me, as he always had.
He would rape me until the blood flowed from my aching anus in scarlet rivulets, down my thin legs, from the ferocity of his attacks on my interior, and it did not take long for me to realize just how very sadistic he could be. He took lengths of chain, wrapping them about his meaty fists, first whipping me mercilessly and then using the same chains to strangle me until I passed out. How I prayed at that point for release, for death to claim me as his own rather than endure this. But he invariably knew at which point to ease up on my poor throat so that I would take another breath. With his cruel talons - I swear that the beast filed them, for them to be so very sharp - he dug into the soft flesh of my back, digging and scraping until it resembled a piece of raw meat.
I knew why he was doing this. I had been his property, in his eyes, ever since he had bitten me on that longago day when I was but a child, unable to fight the evil that was Fenrir Greyback. He'd had many victims over the course of his foul career, but many of them had not survived him. I was one of the lucky ones - lucky perhaps being a misnomer - but if I had not survived, I would not have met and fallen in love with Sirius, so from that perspective one could say I was lucky. He'd had so many victims - one indistinguishable from the next. I was no more memorable to him than to any other. In fact, he only recognized me by the mark upon my neck - the mark which he had placed there, his mark. He was a sadistic bastard, Fenrir was - and that was the only motivation he needed to do what he did. And it simply galled him that I was the only werewolf that he could not control.
It took me several weeks of torture and pain before I came to slowly realize that my struggles only made the pain worse, whereas if I simply gave in and allowed what was after all inevitable, it went easier with me. By then, I had made at least ten attempts to escape, and each one had been in vain. The spirit was being beaten out of me, along with my energy, and my will to survive....
Soon after this realisation, he dragged from my dark room somewhere underneath the house to his bedroom and began to unleash his sadistic antics onto me. He tied my hands behind my back (I was always naked and never allowed to wear clothes - part of his plan to keep me submissive) and placed me roughly onto my knees. He unzipped his trousers and pulled out his hardening cock.
"Suck me!" he demanded fiercely.
I licked my lips at his half-erection, “Yes, master.” I had no idea why I said that but it felt right.
He seemed to approve of this because he moaned with delight, “Yes, I am your master. And you are my bitch.”
Without looking up at him, I said, “I am your bitch.”
He sighed in satisfaction, “Then suck me, bitch.”
I sucked and licked his cock, trying not to take in the disgusting taste in my mouth. Disgusting compared to my Sirius, and that thought alone was enough to damn near gag me. I could hear him moaning above me, so I knew that I was pleasuring him in the right way - I suppose that was a good thing or else he might have killed me right then and there. He thrust his fists into my hair, pulling at it as he began to fuck my mouth, so hard that I was desperate for air and struggling not to vomit. When he was ready, he removed his cock from my mouth and threw me onto the bed on my side. He moved to my side and untied my hands. I was surprised- he had never done that before. Maybe it was because I had called him “Master”. But even with my hands free, I made no attempt to fight back. Although it was still rape and I didn’t want him touching me, I knew far too well what the consequences of fighting him were so I laid back and relaxed my body. The penetration was almost painless.
Something else changed, as he assaulted me, his cock brushed against my prostrate which made me moan in involuntary desire and my cock harden. He reached down to touch my cock. I pushed back against him, arching his head back so that Greyback could lean forward and cover my mouth in a deep, hot kiss. I remember climaxing in muscle-shuddering passion at the same time as he emptied himself within me. I knew then I would never leave him. I had surrendered my body to him.
But not my heart. I could never surrender my heart to this sick and twisted individual. And I loved another- my Sirius who had been dead for over a year now. Although I had surrendered myself physically to Greyback, it did not stop him from raping me, beating and pushing me to my physical limits. The difference now was that he had me, now and forever. I was now too weak to fight. It also became easier to bear if I thought about Sirius. Greyback would torture me until I couldn't stand it anymore, but until my breaking point came I became able to detach myself from what was happening to me and focus on my memories of Sirius.
I remember the first day we met on the Hogwarts train. That had been purely accidental. I was trying to find a place to sit when suddenly a Chocolate Frog was thrown at me. I looked up from the floor and saw three mischievous-looking boys in the carriage where the sweet had come from. The long haired one saw me and apologised and invited me into the carriage. That was how it all started- James, Peter, Sirius and I, later known as the Marauders.
I also remember the moment when my best friends told me they knew I was a werewolf and Sirius was the one who held me as I cried. It was then that I realised that I was wanted and loved and I did not need to be afraid anymore. Sirius and I declared our love less than a year later and we had many stolen moments, mainly holding and kissing each other. We made love for the first time when we were 16. We had waited 3 years for the moment but it was a moment well worth the wait. I still remember the candles flickering around the dim room as he took my virginity on an extra soft bedcover.
We were inseparable when we left Hogwarts. We lived together in a flat that Sirius got with money left to him by his Uncle Alphard, and now the love-making was less restricted for there was no longer any fear of getting caught, and we could do as we liked, when we liked. . I had never been so happy but that happiness was gone the moment my Sirius was arrested. I waited for twelve long years and I never stopped believing in his innocence. I could do nothing to get him out of Azkaban but I never stopped loving him. Oh, it was wonderful when we were reunited that night in the Shrieking Shack. I just held onto him and I did not want to let him go. We had one more night of love before he left with Buckbeak. He returned a year later and we spent as much time as possible while he was trapped at Grimmauld Place. We loved each other and needed each other and we spent our last night making love before we set off to save Harry. It was there that he was killed in front of me.
Yes, it is these happy memories of our long time love that kept me company when I was at the mercy of Greyback, being his whore. When I was alone, it gave me a small delight in knowing that all he was getting was a hollow shell of a man that was at his mercy whilst my mind and my heart were with Sirius.
When he made an alliance with Voldemort and the Death Eaters, things only became worse. It all started when they saw me on my knees, completely naked except for a cock ring around my aching erection, and a collar around my neck with a chain attached to it. The Death Eaters found it amusing to see the great Remus Lupin on his knees, whipped, like a domesticated dog rather than a strong wolf, and that he had been broken specifically to do Greyback’s bidding. It took every ounce of energy I possessed to stop myself from crying there and then, but I would not give them the satisfaction of seeing me break. Not yet anyway. Not if I could help it.
While they were hiding out at Greyback’s retreat, week after week, I was told that I had to pleasure them like I pleasured Greyback. They would tie my chain to the bedpost so that I would be forced to kneel on all fours, and they would use their foul curses on me. Their favourite was the Cruciatus. For hours on end, they would place this Unforgivable on me, laughing manically and mocking me as I writhed on the floor in agony.
I was constantly and habitually raped by the male Death Eaters, Antonin Dolohov in particular. I knew how sadistic he was and I knew why he took incredible delight in hearing me scream whilst I was at his mercy. Greyback would always watch to make sure I pleasured his guests. If I didn’t, he would punish me whilst the Death Eaters mocked my weaknesses. They would tie me to the bed and mock my bruised and bloody body as well as my penis. They would sometimes put a tight cock ring on me and make me sit on a vibrator which they attached to a chair and watch as I writhed in passion. They would make my erection very hard and laugh as I came in disgust, whimpering as I held onto the quick pleasures of the orgasm running through my body. They would also take pictures of me and show me the moving pictures of me in pain.
Not even being a werewolf keeps me sane. I am not given Wolfsbane Potion and I have to suffer in my dark dungeon as the curse take hold of me every month. Sometimes, Greyback, who has always revelled in his animal instincts, will rape me at such times, in his wolf form, and bite me as I suffer at his touch anew.
The only peace I receive is in my dreams. Sometimes James and Lily show up but Sirius is always there and most of the time, he is alone. He is a great comfort to me. I can sometimes feel his warm presence wrapped around me, protecting me and keeping me sane just as he had always done when he was alive. Sometimes, at night, I would wish and pray for him to forgive me for succumbing to this sadistic torture. I do not know whether he heard me or not but it was the hope that he did hear me that kept me going.
It’s been several days now and I’m stuck in this hole. Greyback had dug a deep hole and he has thrown me in it. Food scraps were thrown down the hole at the same time and I was given rags to wear. But it’s not enough. I’m a tall person and I have tried to get out but it’s impossible. I’ve not had this much time alone since being captured. I’m just so cold. I’m so weak and so hungry and it’s been raining constantly for the past few days and I’m now sitting in a puddle of muck.
Before he had thrown me into the hole, he had made me stand in front of my mirror and he had mocked my body. I remembered crying as I stared at my wreck of a body. For the first time since I had been brought here, I was now exposed to the repulsive sight. I was always a scrawny person but now I was so skinny, I could see the ribs sticking out of my body and my face was unbelievably thin. I saw the dry bloody scabs scattered all over my unclean body. It is this image that haunts me as I wait in this hole.
Time goes on and the hunger is worse. The rain is my only source of water but the ongoing cold is making me worse. The only comfort in being here is that, for the time, I’m free from the abuse. I’m getting dizzy though and I’ve been sneezing and coughing non-stop. I look at my bloody body and I knew that my body must have been crawling with infection as my wounds were never cleaned. I feel my whole body shutting down. I know why I’ve been put in this hole. I’m no longer needed. They’ve had all they want from me and I’ve been left here to die in agony. I curl up in a ball and just lie and wait.
I can’t stop thinking about how I've failed everyone- James, Lily, Sirius, Harry, the Order, everyone. I should have been stronger than this but I wasn’t. I am the last true Maurader left (that traitor Pettigrew doesn’t count) and I let everyone down. I cry out my hurt and pity, knowing no will hear me. No-one is going to come.
“I’m sorry.” I sobbed, “I’m sorry everyone. I’M SORRY!”
Suddenly I see a bright light in front of me. A figure is coming towards me. How can that be? The hole is very deep and I can barely move in it. But the figure comes closer and closer. I can see him now. It’s my Sirius. I must be going insane. He can’t be here. He just can’t. Sirius is now kneeling by me, his whole body surrounded by white light. He looks so much like he did before his arrest, before Azkaban and before the Dementors had taken their hold on him. He’s so beautiful and full of life.
“No….. No……” My voice is nothing but a croak. “This is not real.”
Sirius smiles softly and gently touches my long and matted hair. “Shhh….. I’m here and I’m real.”
I continue to cry. Why is he being so kind? Doesn’t he realise what I have done?
“I-I-I’m sorry, Sirius. I failed.”
“No. No you haven’t failed anyone. I’ve come to take you home, darling.”
“H-h-h-home?”
“Yes, home. Come with me.”
I see his outstretched hand and for the first time in so long, I am content. I feel no pain, no degradation. All I feel is peace from the suffering. I feel forgiven and content. As I stared into his beautiful eyes, I use all my energy to reach out my hand to touch his. The last thing I remember is smiling.
Two days later
The Second War was over. Harry and the others all stand together, proud of their achievements as the body of Voldemort lies dead upon the floor. Some of the Death Eaters are dead and some have already been arrested. Only one enemy remains free: Fenrir Greyback. Harry and Hermione see him and chase him outside into the field. Using her wand, Hermione cries out “Immobulus” and Greyback is stunned where he stands. They run towards him whilst calling the others.
As Harry stands over him in disgust, Hermione spots something, and says, “Harry, I think you should look at this.”
Harry looks toward where Hermione is pointing. There is a hole beside her and he looks down into it. Curled up inside is a body, clad only in rags. The person within is bruised, bloody, muddy and battered and has his arm outstretched, as if reaching for something.
Harry cries, “Who’s that?”
Greyback chuckles evilly, “My whore. My bitch. Lupin the traitorous bitch.”
Hermione gasps and covers her mouth as tears fall down her face. Remus Lupin had been missing for at least six months. Is this where he ended up, at the mercy of this animal? She feels two hands on her shoulders as Harry holds her comfortingly, trying to hold back the tears himself.
More people arrive at the hole and help to carry away the dead body of Remus Lupin. More tears fall as Remus’ wrecked body is exposed. Harry notices that Remus seems to have a small smile upon his face, as if his last living thoughts were happy ones before he surrendered to death. Four ghosts are watching over them: James Potter, Lily Evans-Potter, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. They watch on with sorrow, pride and hope that the future now looks bright for muggles, witches and wizards alike. As the body is lifted from the hole gently and carried away with care, no-one sees the ghostly visitors disappear into the peaceful world of the afterlife.