thank gods it's friday...i guess
First of all, welcome to mizu_takeshi, moedere, and theamazingfetus from the Kuroshitsuji friending meme. Hope you guys won't mind my frequent rants about life, school, and fandoms (in that order of frequency, haha) |3
This post is going to be a little...melancholy, I guess (and I'm sorry for the above three people to have to read my whining as my first post on their flists), but lately I feel like that's all I know. I'm getting burnt out in all aspects of my life. School isn't boring, persay-- but falling once again into the high school (or at least, my high school) monotony of "go to class, come back, eat, do homework, sleep" for most of the week is getting...tedious? Tiresome? Only anime club on Thursdays and Fridays helps me actually...I don't know. Get a chance to smile and enjoy myself.
I'm restless, but sleeping is the only thing that I want to do when I'm not at anime club. I'm lonely, but I shy away from others because I don't want to be a burden--because I know I am a burden, in some way, shape or form.
I mean, I always feel this way, kind of, especially that lonely part. But I'm much more aware of it at the moment, and that means it hurts more.
I hurt, but what have I done to deserve people who can help me temper the pain?
Roleplaying is the same right now too. I feel like I'm spreading myself too thin as far as Sebastian goes-- since he's really the only one I play frequently now. I want to play in Rivelata, XI, and Marina, I do. But suddenly I'm out of the warm and welcoming place at TST I've always been in and...he's lost to the tide. I need to establish his worth again. And normally I wouldn't mind doing that-- Sebastian is my favorite muse and I love slowly worming him into people's hearts-- but where I am right now, I don't want to wait. I want to dive right in and get him involved.
This is probably newbie syndrome though, mixed with my melancholy, hahaha.
I'm debating to myself right now if I should write my weekly essay. It's due later today, but I really don't feel like writing it...
I probably will though, and there starts the monotony again. At least there's anime club later tonight. I also want my parents to come this weekend, just as another something to look forward to. They said they might not though, because of the rain. This past week, it only ever rains when I'm sleeping, I think. Maybe I should take that as a sign or something.
What kind of sign that is, though, I'm not entirely sure.
Note to self: no more slice-of-life manga or anime. At least, not where I am right now.
This post is going to be a little...melancholy, I guess (and I'm sorry for the above three people to have to read my whining as my first post on their flists), but lately I feel like that's all I know. I'm getting burnt out in all aspects of my life. School isn't boring, persay-- but falling once again into the high school (or at least, my high school) monotony of "go to class, come back, eat, do homework, sleep" for most of the week is getting...tedious? Tiresome? Only anime club on Thursdays and Fridays helps me actually...I don't know. Get a chance to smile and enjoy myself.
I'm restless, but sleeping is the only thing that I want to do when I'm not at anime club. I'm lonely, but I shy away from others because I don't want to be a burden--because I know I am a burden, in some way, shape or form.
I mean, I always feel this way, kind of, especially that lonely part. But I'm much more aware of it at the moment, and that means it hurts more.
I hurt, but what have I done to deserve people who can help me temper the pain?
Roleplaying is the same right now too. I feel like I'm spreading myself too thin as far as Sebastian goes-- since he's really the only one I play frequently now. I want to play in Rivelata, XI, and Marina, I do. But suddenly I'm out of the warm and welcoming place at TST I've always been in and...he's lost to the tide. I need to establish his worth again. And normally I wouldn't mind doing that-- Sebastian is my favorite muse and I love slowly worming him into people's hearts-- but where I am right now, I don't want to wait. I want to dive right in and get him involved.
This is probably newbie syndrome though, mixed with my melancholy, hahaha.
I'm debating to myself right now if I should write my weekly essay. It's due later today, but I really don't feel like writing it...
I probably will though, and there starts the monotony again. At least there's anime club later tonight. I also want my parents to come this weekend, just as another something to look forward to. They said they might not though, because of the rain. This past week, it only ever rains when I'm sleeping, I think. Maybe I should take that as a sign or something.
What kind of sign that is, though, I'm not entirely sure.
Note to self: no more slice-of-life manga or anime. At least, not where I am right now.