Dec 06, 2009 15:20
I finally got Tekken 6 today. I bought it for the PSP, because I don't have a next gen console (yet) and just popped it in and started playing it. I started with story mode, and I chose Jin as my first character. It gives you the standard text-based story lead-in before placing you into your first battle against new character Lars, who goes down really easy. So the second battle? The fucking final boss! And you know it wouldn't be a Namco game if the final boss wasn't a massively broken monstrosity. I mean, we're talking so big I'm not even really sure what's going on half the time. I'm talking a fucking Godzilla monster that effortlessly juggles you with some kind of claw crystals shooting out of the ground. And when you start to pummel his ass? He practically teleports away and then drops back in... on your head.
I just got K.O'ed again and I didn't even see how the hell it happened.
He shoots lasers, he shoots ice crystals, he rolls over you, he stomps on you, he slams you into the ground with arms bigger than you are, he teleports, he makes shit pop out of the ground... It's like Namco said, "You thought a grandpa shooting fireballs out of a mouth in his stomach was bad, you bitches ain't seen nothing yet."
And he's evasive as fuck too. Something that big should not be that fast.
Second motherfucking fight! I haven't played Tekken in a while; I can't handle a fucking boss for my second fight! Who the hell thought this was a good idea? Where the fuck is the story line? Did I just pay forty bucks for an arcade version?
At least with Jinpachi it was possible to strategize. If you stayed in close to him you'd be able to break most of his more devestating moves. This abomination has plenty of attacks designed to put distance beteen you and him, and he almost seems to have an auto-block so that you can't break the moves before you pull them off.
He just threw me up in the air while shoot me with ice crystals and lasers. FUCK YOU NAMCO!
Seriously, I know I ranted in a similar fashion about Jinpachi when I first picked up Tekken 5 and now I can beat him on auto-pilot with most of my regular characters, but this is still ridiculous. It is absolutely absurd to have a final boss for a second fight. It is absolutely absurd to have a story mode with no story. I mean, there might be some story after this, but at the rate I'm going I'll never reach it because of this dumb-ass broken fucker.
I just got so pissed off I had to turn the game off for a minute.
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