Swept Away [Chapter 5]
“Careful now, I heard he’s a total heart snatcher.” Yunho’s teasing remark to Changmin’s abbreviated story made the younger man scowl into the distance.
It’s been four days now. Three nights of sleeping in the back of a cramped BMW with Kyuhyun refusing to stop for the night. Four days of Kyuhyun spilling his thoughts on whatever the hell he wanted to as soon as Changmin shook himself awake with coffee and a good stretch.
And Changmin was shamelessly listening eagerly, somehow needing the aimless prattle of the rock star as he woke up. He listened with half-alert ears and sleep encrusted eyes as Kyuhyun’s deep, melodic voice drifted around him, surrounding him, almost suffocating with how bittersweet his words always were. His mother forgetting his birthday but remembering to ask him for free concert tickets. His father sending him the record he always sang along to as a child for his 21st birthday, even though it was supposedly gone from the face of the earth. The first girl who ever told her she loved him when he was a senior in high school, then proceeded to date her, only to find out she was after his best friend. The way he felt the first time his father ever hugged him (to his recollection), at his high school graduation.
Changmin shivered as Yunho rambled about his day. During the night, he vaguely remembered being slammed into the side of the back seat followed by Kyuhyun cursing. There was a honk coming from the BMW afterwards, Kyuhyun muttering about jackasses who couldn’t stay awake while driving through the night. Changmin figured out what was happening, staying quiet and squeezing his eyes tight together to pretend he was still sleeping. It took all of his will not to give away him being awake as he felt the car slow down and stop, Kyuhyun putting it in park. Kyuhyun sounded scared, adrenaline and tension filling the car for a long time before he heard shifting in the front seat. That familiar warm hand that kept casually touching him without his consent was suddenly on his shoulder, down his side just a bit, feeling Kyuhyun’s eyes assessing whether or not he had been shaken awake by the jerking of the car. Then it was over, the car moving again, Kyuhyun’s burning gaze turning back to the road.
“Yunho-yah. I’m not interested in him.” Changmin finally answered the remark, watching the gas gauge and keeping his mind off the night before.
“I don’t know if your will is that strong. It’s not like you’ve ever talked about a girl as much as you talk about Kyuhyun.”
Changmin blushed and cleared his throat, “I’ve been stuck with the man for like four days. What else am I going to talk about?”
“An attractive girl you might be seeing back home that’s more important?”
“There is no one though.”
“I rest my case.”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m certain the case is exactly as you said.”
“So you have been thinking about the case.”
“Yunho…” Changmin sighed as the pump popped up, and he held his shoulder to the side of his face to hold his iPhone to his ear as he removed it and struggled to shove it back into the stand.
“Changmin-ah. Just be careful. And call me tomorrow if you can. This whole thing is so surreal. I wish it wasn’t so out of my control.”
“You secretly are laughing at my misfortune.” Changmin muttered.
“I’d hardly call it a misfortune! Some human contact is good for you.” Yunho chuckled. “Bye bye!” He said cheerfully and hung up before Changmin could respond. Changmin sighed as he ripped the receipt from the dispenser and walked around to the driver’s side. He tucked the iPhone in the pocket of his jeans and glanced at his reflection in the side mirror before climbing in.
The earthy toned button-down plaid shirt was open at his collar bone, ends sloppily tucked into the waistband of the tattered, bleached jeans he was wearing, sleeves rolled up to his elbows because it was a bit warmer than he expected when he stepped out to pump gas. His hair had miraculously stayed decent without showering, for reasons that Changmin had no idea of considering what usually happened when he didn’t shower. Though tonight they would be stopping for sure, because he couldn’t stand another day of being unclean.
He turned the car back on with a sigh. Kyuhyun was stretching out as he pulled out from the gas station, and Changmin looked curiously to wait for the reason for him to be awake.
“Did I wake you up?”
“No, I was just gonna talk to you for a bit.” Kyuhyun replied groggily. “I want to shower and sleep in an actual bed, you cool with that for tonight?”
“Yeah, you read my mind actually. I was going to ask the same thing when you woke up.”
“Alright, cool.” Kyuhyun grinned sleepily. He put his window down as Changmin made his way towards the highway ramp. “You spent a lot of time doing the gas.”
“Hm? Oh, Yunho called me.” Changmin answered automatically, praying he could think of a cover story for what they talked about.
Kyuhyun grunted in acknowledgement and sat up in his seat. “Can I have my iPhone?”
Changmin blinked. “I still have it?”
“That’s not even funny cháng jǐng lù.”
“I wasn’t trying to be funny. Check my pockets, see if it’s there.” Changmin said casually before he’d even realized it. It was silent and awkward for a moment and Kyuhyun leaned towards him slowly as if testing the waters. Kyuhyun patted at the pockets of his jeans and then leant away with a breath of relief. He turned in the seat and searched through the back where most of Changmin’s things were. After a few moments, Kyuhyun yelled triumphantly.
“You had it in the backseat. Christ, cháng jǐng lù. I was so worried.” Kyuhyun whined as he pulled his shirt up from his stomach and wiped at the screen of the phone.
“Can you find my sunglasses back there while you’re at it?” Changmin asked. “And I told you to stop calling me cháng jǐng lù.”
“But I like it, it suits you.”
“I am not a giraffe!”
“You have a long graceful neck and a stuck up attitude. It’s perfect.” Kyuhyun chuckled as he bent back again to search for Changmin’s sunglasses. Changmin let the comment slide and shook his head, hoping Kyuhyun would find his defense against the sun sooner rather than later.
Changmin never realized how easily distracted he was while driving. It was only boredom. It was only boredom of the endless ribbon of highway that caused him to look at the stretch of Kyuhyun’s form as he leaned over the passenger seat to search the back of the car. Kyuhyun, Changmin had realized through his usual observational habits, had the most curious ass for a man. It was like the underwear models that Yunho showed him in the “America” pictures Yunho came back with from his first U.S. visit; the girls that were stick thin with breasts and an ass that were magically too large for the rest of their frame. Though, Kyuhyun’s was hardly that extreme. It was just a nice bump for such a lanky figure.
“Here ya go.” Changmin quickly snatched the sunglasses and looked away as Kyuhyun held them out, wary of the man catching him staring.
“Hm, not too shabby. You look good in those.” Kyuhyun smirked. Changmin frowned and looked at him curiously, realizing after a moment that the sunglasses perched on his nose were not the Aviators he brought with him.
“These are yours.”
“Your observational skills astound me.”
“Where are mine?”
“They had a hard life under your backpack on the floor.” Kyuhyun chuckled. Changmin groaned and ran his hand through his hair.
“Damn it. I loved those.” Changmin sighed. Kyuhyun just continued his dark chuckle and plugged his iPhone into a jack in the stereo with a cord that he had magically acquired from somewhere. He babied the iPhone in his hand and cooed at it as if it were a real child, plugging the cord in gently and then searching for something in the phone.
“I hoped you’d give it back when I asked. Oh God I missed this phone. You took away my life when I gave this to you!”
“I’m sorry you can’t call your girlfriend.” Changmin said bitterly, realizing how much of a jealous brat it made him sound only after he said it.
“I meant my music. These radio stations are shitty.” Kyuhyun retorted, which was really stating the obvious fact that Changmin had discovered as well.
“I wouldn’t have kept it forever. I honestly forgot about it.”
“This is nice, isn’t it?” Kyuhyun asked offhandedly.
“What is?”
“Talking.” Kyuhyun answered simply as he fiddled with the car stereo buttons and suddenly a song emptied into the car.
“창문?” Changmin asked, almost immediately recognizing the song. "The Trax?"
“Yeah it just came out in Korea, right?” Kyuhyun nodded.
“That’s really funny…” Changmin whispered to himself.
“What is?”
“You look a lot like the guy in the music video.” Changmin explained, letting a small laugh escape through his lips.
“I look nothing like the guy in the video!” Kyuhyun argued defensively.
“Whatever you say.” Changmin laughed, Kyuhyun defending the accusation strangely becoming more entertaining than the thought by itself.
“I’m glad you know how to laugh, at least. But I don’t look like him.” Kyuhyun said grouchily, but the small smirk at the corner of his lips gave away that he wasn’t that angry about it. Changmin calmed down after a minute and smiled; listening to the song he had actually been listening to while he was traveling before he ran into Kyuhyun.
“Of course I know how to laugh…” Changmin said sheepishly as he pushed the sunglasses up on his nose and looked back at the road. Kyuhyun said something he couldn't hear and didn’t bother pushing the issue. He didn’t want it to be another snide comment about his laughter.
I can laugh, he thought with a pout. There’s just not a lot of reason to usually.
Blind really was a beautiful song, he thought as the passionate chorus echoed against his ears. Love songs usually gave him hives. But this song, and a selected few others, made his chest tighten. Made his heart hurt. Made him wish he had someone to love, or someone to cry and hurt over. He wanted to cry and cover his head with all the blankets he owned and stay in bed for days because it simply hurt to move or breathe or live at all without that person in your life. It was silly really; but it happened to him. Yunho told him it was because his heart was so guarded and he’d never been in love.
Never been in love…
After a few songs that Kyuhyun selected filtered through his ears, a poignant melody flooded in from the speakers softly. Kyuhyun suddenly sat up upon hearing it, putting his feet down and staring at the radio in confusion.
“Why is this playing?” He asked as he fished through the glove box for where he set his iPhone.
The soft, dark honey voice that filtered out next like an angel made Changmin turn it up and his vision blurred as he was lost somewhere between the voice entering his ears and the road ahead of him. Kyuhyun’s anxious shuffling went completely unnoticed as the rich voice filled him.
If you’re not the one, then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one, then why does my hand fit yours this way?
“Can we change it?” Kyuhyun asked after the first verse merged into the heartfelt chorus. Before Changmin could protest, the song was changed and Kyuhyun set the iPhone back on its perch.
He wanted to hear the song. Wanted to change it back to the angelic, caramel macchiato voice that warmed the car around him to make it uncomfortably stuffy, yet incredibly easy to breathe at the same time. Changmin didn’t understand English that well, but he really didn’t need to for that song. It was one of those songs, one of those voices, which made him want to cry for a lover he didn’t have. The emotions in the song were unrivaled by-dare he say-any he had ever heard.
“Why’d you change it?” Changmin asked, not needing to explain what change he was referring to.
“Did you like it?” Kyuhyun asked skeptically.
“Yes… I did.” Changmin admitted.
“Then buy the CD. I can get it from my manager.” Kyuhyun said as he leant back into his seat and looked towards the window. Changmin was again thrown for a curve, nearly slamming down on the breaks in shock.
“That was… you?”
“A solo project that forever caused turmoil for the band.” Kyuhyun answered without answering the question. Kyuhyun dug into his pack for another pair of sunglasses, a barrier going back up that Changmin couldn’t get past.
“Your voice… it’s…” Changmin stuttered, unable to form words, and not sure that he needed to pet the ego that was already almost too big for the car. “You didn't say anything about a solo project when you wanted to give me your life’s story.”
“That song was not even supposed to be released. It’s a bad melody, I sound like shit-“
“No. No, you sound kind of beautiful.” Changmin breathed out finally, deciding honesty was the best policy.
“Mmm. Thanks.” His voice was nowhere near hinting that he believed him, and Changmin decided to let it pass. “And it’s not like I told you my entire life, cháng jǐng lù.”
The other man’s voice was… Changmin couldn’t even finish his own thought. He couldn’t even answer, yell at Kyuhyun for using that ridiculous pet name.
“I want to listen to it.” Changmin voiced his thoughts aloud.
“Mmm. Sorry, I don’t listen to my own music.”
“Then why is it on your phone?”
“I just have all my music. And the bands’.” Kyuhyun shrugged. “The GPS says we can stop soon in about 2 hours. We’ll be in Arkansas I believe by then.” Kyuhyun changed the subject, Changmin not even realized the man had moved and was messing with the GPS. “I’ll just nap till then.”
“You sleep too much.”
“That is an unfair judgment.” Kyuhyun pouted back. It got quiet after that, Changmin sighing as Kyuhyun settled into the seat looking out the window.
There were too many layers to Kyuhyun for a drive across the country to figure out, and yet, they were blatantly laid out in every strange thing that Kyuhyun said as if a map of his personality was projecting out slowly, piece by piece. The “speeches” in the mornings about his life filling in the spaces his actions and personality didn’t. He had an unrivaled arrogance that even Changmin could barely fathom. And yet the stardom hung over his head almost like a crown of shame. He seemed to love painting more than singing, though Changmin had an inkling he was phenomenally talented at both. Kyuhyun’s singing… was mind blowing. Kyuhyun’s painting had to be just as passionate. So he was a painter before he was a rock star. And the dwindling strings of attachment to Korea and his mother and the life he wishes he had there were the frown lines on his narrow cheeks and the sadness in his eyes that he hid with sunglasses and a professional grade smirk.
The two and a half hours ticked by, Changmin humming along to songs he knew and ears straining to figure out or understand the words to the ones he didn’t. Kyuhyun had an overall good taste in music; but that hardly came as a surprise to Changmin. He just wanted to stop the car and kick Kyuhyun out, scream at him and ask him why he was so perfect, so tragic.
Because that’s what Cho Kyuhyun boiled down to. Tragedy.
Changmin smiled despite himself as he saw the sign for entering the new state.
“You really just spent all that time contemplating my existence, didn’t you?” Kyuhyun asked suddenly, staring at Changmin intently.
“Of course not.” Changmin lied instantly, prickling up and focusing anywhere but Kyuhyun’s burning gaze.
“I’m a pretty complicated mess, right?” Kyuhyun asked, and Changmin saw right through the casual front that Kyuhyun had put up when he asked the question and instantly picked up on the bitter sarcasm; the almost mockery in his voice when he addressed himself.
“You’re confident enough that it doesn’t matter either way, right?” Changmin offered.
“Heh. I suppose so.”
“So which hotel are we going to?”
“It’s a Hilton, don’t worry. You will be in peaceful luxury tonight, cháng jǐng lù.”
“And I’m sure you have plans to enjoy yourself as well.” Changmin assumed, kicking himself again for how much of a snotty brat he sounded like.
“I’ll take care of it after I drop you off at the Hilton.”
“You’re not dumping me somewhere and leaving are you?” Changmin demanded sharply, the car swerving just a bit.
“You’re an idiot for even asking that question.” Kyuhyun threw back at him, as heatedly as he could without sounding angry.
“Whatever.” Changmin muttered childishly back, not expecting the outburst but glad he could rest easy about being safe and not stranded in Arkansas.
As he pulled off the highway to the red light to properly flow the traffic into the large, brightly lit town, he looked over at Kyuhyun. He could feel the tension in his forehead and the frown of his mouth as he studied the man. The sun was slowly beginning to set after taking longer than expected to get to Arkansas, and Kyuhyun’s body was still a little tense from Changmin’s “idiotic” question. The purple and red hues scattering across the white shirt he was wearing, spreading onto his shirt, made him glow with the beauty that Changmin kept seeing.
“Damn it…” Changmin sighed as he looked back to the road to find the light already green. He sped off and looked around for the hotel that the GPS promised was somewhere right off the exit.
“It’s over there.” Kyuhyun confirmed as Changmin looked around for the hotel Kyuhyun and the GPS were talking about.
“I’ll go in and get the rooms, and we’ll trade when I’m done.” Kyuhyun explained. “You shouldn’t run into any issues, don’t worry.”
“Not worried.”
“You’re a terrible liar.”
“Just go.” Changmin sighed as they pulled up under the overhang and Changmin shifted the car into park. Kyuhyun nodded and grabbed his wallet before opening the car and hopping out. Changmin tapped his fingers against the steering wheel along with the jazz song that was playing as Kyuhyun entered the lobby, barely visible at the front desk as he made the reservations.
“He better get me a nice room if he isn’t letting me have my wallet.” Changmin muttered. “Or have a say in anything, for that matter.”
Changmin looked at Kyuhyun’s iPhone warily and then smirked. He glanced to make sure Kyuhyun was busy at the counter before sliding his fingers across the phone to unlock it and searching through the music to find the song that had just played.
“His band is called The Painters?” Changmin scoffed. “What a silly name.” He shook his head as he read through some of the song titles. The two Unknown Artist songs at the bottom of the folder for The Painters were both simply numbers without any words. Changmin selected one of them, a soft acoustic guitar coming out before any words. He turned the volume up just slightly and kept watch at the front desk, waiting in anticipation for the voice he knew was about to follow.
It was a different song than before, but it was the voice. It was Kyuhyun’s sad, lonely voice that held all the emotions that Kyuhyun would never speak on his own. The poignant guitar only added to his voice, emphasized it, created a higher pitched fluidity to the deep richness of the voice.
It was beautiful and raw, most definitely a project in progress that Kyuhyun probably had not shown to anyone.
“You’re an asshole.” Changmin scolded himself aloud as he went back to the original playlist that was going when Kyuhyun exited, setting the phone down and casually slouching against the back of the seat as Kyuhyun came back out of the lobby.
Changmin fumbled out of the car, pulling his bags out of the back seat and waiting on the drivers’ side for Kyuhyun to come around.
“Be careful.” Changmin said quietly as he set the keys in Kyuhyun’s hand. Kyuhyun put the hotel room key where the car key once settled in Changmin’s hand.
“Relax. Unwind. Shower.” Kyuhyun smiled warmly. “I’m not as crazy as you think I am.”
“I never said you were crazy.” Changmin smirked as he adjusted his bags and headed for the lobby. He paused as the automatic glass doors opened for him and watched as Kyuhyun pulled out from under the overhang.
“Stop being so perfect.” Changmin pleaded with a sigh, turning on his heels and going inside when he saw the red convertible exit the parking lot.
He walked to the desk and asked where the elevators were, following where the woman pointed and not really listening to any confusing English that she was speaking. He found it around the corner to the right of the front desk and hit the call button with his thumb, the cold sting of the metal making him shiver just a bit. It came quickly, doors opening and friendly, happy music playing from inside with its decorated linoleum and bright fluorescent lights.
Changmin watched his reflection in the mirrored walls as he rode up to the 10th floor, where Changmin assumed the room 1008 was on.
“I wonder if Kyuhyun got a room on the same floor. He has his phone, I’ll just text him and tell him to let me know where his room is.” Changmin completed the question and answer in his head as he dug for his phone and then suddenly paused. “I don’t know his number! God damn it.” Changmin muttered. He nearly dropped his phone in surprise as the vibrations went off and a new message popped up on the screen.
I just realized you don’t have my number. I got yours while you were sleeping, I hope you don’t mind. It’s Kyuhyun. Call me if you need anything, my room is on the floor right below yours.
“How did he know?” Changmin demanded at the innocent technology, resisting the urge to scream in frustration. He got off quickly as the elevator stopped and followed the signs that organized the hallway by number, watching all the numbers on the doors as he passed until he found the one that matched the card. He put it in quickly, failing at first because of how quickly he did it, then finally getting the door opened. He dumped all his bags right inside the door and kicked off his shoes as he slammed the door shut and made his way straight for the bathroom. He pulled the shirt over his head, not even bothering to unbutton it and take it off properly, tugging and battling his jeans after that to get the tightly fitted denim off of his too-long legs. He set the iPhone that was still glued to his hand, message still open, on the counter. Trying to turn on the shower was a nearly frantic attempt, the bathroom door still open and the curtain barely containing the water as it sprayed out as he tried to get it to the right temperature.
He stepped in as soon as it was hot enough to nearly burn his hand and cringed at the burning against his skin for a few moments before sinking down into the tub, the rather sharp, hot sprays of water crashing down on his head and one leg up over the edge of the tub, tangling in the shower curtain in a way that normally would be revolting to him.
But right now it was comfortable.
He leant forward and against the wall so it pounded against his back and shoulders, sighing in contentment.
“Less than three more days of driving. You can handle it.” Changmin assured himself. “Order some dinner, lay in bed, read, and relax.”
Changmin thought about Kyuhyun might be doing tonight, without him, not even caring about where he was or what he was doing. It made his vision blurry and his blood boil.
“He did this to me.” Changmin growled. “This fucking asshole.” Changmin cursed, his nails digging into his thigh as his fist clenched.
He found it hard to decide whether his hands wanted to be around Kyuhyun’s neck, choking him to death, or letting his hands feed the arousal that he couldn’t help feeling when Kyuhyun was on his mind.
He shifted in the shower and reached towards the counter where his iPhone was sitting. He closed the message and searched for an Internet signal, his rear going numb from the piping hot water beating against his ass and thighs. He typed in The Painters when Google finally began to work. The results were random, mostly about art and not music, but one of the first Youtube responses brought him to a song title that sounded familiar from the list that he had looked at on Kyuhyun’s music.
The volume was turned up all the way as it began loading and the first few notes flooding out into the echoing bathroom, Changmin sinking back to his position in the tub before the words started.
Kyuhyun’s voice entering his ears in the soulful way that it did made him realize that either option couldn’t turn out so badly, but he preferred the latter.
It’s been four days now. Three nights of sleeping in the back of a cramped BMW with Kyuhyun refusing to stop for the night. Four days of Kyuhyun spilling his thoughts on whatever the hell he wanted to as soon as Changmin shook himself awake with coffee and a good stretch.
And Changmin was shamelessly listening eagerly, somehow needing the aimless prattle of the rock star as he woke up. He listened with half-alert ears and sleep encrusted eyes as Kyuhyun’s deep, melodic voice drifted around him, surrounding him, almost suffocating with how bittersweet his words always were. His mother forgetting his birthday but remembering to ask him for free concert tickets. His father sending him the record he always sang along to as a child for his 21st birthday, even though it was supposedly gone from the face of the earth. The first girl who ever told her she loved him when he was a senior in high school, then proceeded to date her, only to find out she was after his best friend. The way he felt the first time his father ever hugged him (to his recollection), at his high school graduation.
Changmin shivered as Yunho rambled about his day. During the night, he vaguely remembered being slammed into the side of the back seat followed by Kyuhyun cursing. There was a honk coming from the BMW afterwards, Kyuhyun muttering about jackasses who couldn’t stay awake while driving through the night. Changmin figured out what was happening, staying quiet and squeezing his eyes tight together to pretend he was still sleeping. It took all of his will not to give away him being awake as he felt the car slow down and stop, Kyuhyun putting it in park. Kyuhyun sounded scared, adrenaline and tension filling the car for a long time before he heard shifting in the front seat. That familiar warm hand that kept casually touching him without his consent was suddenly on his shoulder, down his side just a bit, feeling Kyuhyun’s eyes assessing whether or not he had been shaken awake by the jerking of the car. Then it was over, the car moving again, Kyuhyun’s burning gaze turning back to the road.
“Yunho-yah. I’m not interested in him.” Changmin finally answered the remark, watching the gas gauge and keeping his mind off the night before.
“I don’t know if your will is that strong. It’s not like you’ve ever talked about a girl as much as you talk about Kyuhyun.”
Changmin blushed and cleared his throat, “I’ve been stuck with the man for like four days. What else am I going to talk about?”
“An attractive girl you might be seeing back home that’s more important?”
“There is no one though.”
“I rest my case.”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m certain the case is exactly as you said.”
“So you have been thinking about the case.”
“Yunho…” Changmin sighed as the pump popped up, and he held his shoulder to the side of his face to hold his iPhone to his ear as he removed it and struggled to shove it back into the stand.
“Changmin-ah. Just be careful. And call me tomorrow if you can. This whole thing is so surreal. I wish it wasn’t so out of my control.”
“You secretly are laughing at my misfortune.” Changmin muttered.
“I’d hardly call it a misfortune! Some human contact is good for you.” Yunho chuckled. “Bye bye!” He said cheerfully and hung up before Changmin could respond. Changmin sighed as he ripped the receipt from the dispenser and walked around to the driver’s side. He tucked the iPhone in the pocket of his jeans and glanced at his reflection in the side mirror before climbing in.
The earthy toned button-down plaid shirt was open at his collar bone, ends sloppily tucked into the waistband of the tattered, bleached jeans he was wearing, sleeves rolled up to his elbows because it was a bit warmer than he expected when he stepped out to pump gas. His hair had miraculously stayed decent without showering, for reasons that Changmin had no idea of considering what usually happened when he didn’t shower. Though tonight they would be stopping for sure, because he couldn’t stand another day of being unclean.
He turned the car back on with a sigh. Kyuhyun was stretching out as he pulled out from the gas station, and Changmin looked curiously to wait for the reason for him to be awake.
“Did I wake you up?”
“No, I was just gonna talk to you for a bit.” Kyuhyun replied groggily. “I want to shower and sleep in an actual bed, you cool with that for tonight?”
“Yeah, you read my mind actually. I was going to ask the same thing when you woke up.”
“Alright, cool.” Kyuhyun grinned sleepily. He put his window down as Changmin made his way towards the highway ramp. “You spent a lot of time doing the gas.”
“Hm? Oh, Yunho called me.” Changmin answered automatically, praying he could think of a cover story for what they talked about.
Kyuhyun grunted in acknowledgement and sat up in his seat. “Can I have my iPhone?”
Changmin blinked. “I still have it?”
“That’s not even funny cháng jǐng lù.”
“I wasn’t trying to be funny. Check my pockets, see if it’s there.” Changmin said casually before he’d even realized it. It was silent and awkward for a moment and Kyuhyun leaned towards him slowly as if testing the waters. Kyuhyun patted at the pockets of his jeans and then leant away with a breath of relief. He turned in the seat and searched through the back where most of Changmin’s things were. After a few moments, Kyuhyun yelled triumphantly.
“You had it in the backseat. Christ, cháng jǐng lù. I was so worried.” Kyuhyun whined as he pulled his shirt up from his stomach and wiped at the screen of the phone.
“Can you find my sunglasses back there while you’re at it?” Changmin asked. “And I told you to stop calling me cháng jǐng lù.”
“But I like it, it suits you.”
“I am not a giraffe!”
“You have a long graceful neck and a stuck up attitude. It’s perfect.” Kyuhyun chuckled as he bent back again to search for Changmin’s sunglasses. Changmin let the comment slide and shook his head, hoping Kyuhyun would find his defense against the sun sooner rather than later.
Changmin never realized how easily distracted he was while driving. It was only boredom. It was only boredom of the endless ribbon of highway that caused him to look at the stretch of Kyuhyun’s form as he leaned over the passenger seat to search the back of the car. Kyuhyun, Changmin had realized through his usual observational habits, had the most curious ass for a man. It was like the underwear models that Yunho showed him in the “America” pictures Yunho came back with from his first U.S. visit; the girls that were stick thin with breasts and an ass that were magically too large for the rest of their frame. Though, Kyuhyun’s was hardly that extreme. It was just a nice bump for such a lanky figure.
“Here ya go.” Changmin quickly snatched the sunglasses and looked away as Kyuhyun held them out, wary of the man catching him staring.
“Hm, not too shabby. You look good in those.” Kyuhyun smirked. Changmin frowned and looked at him curiously, realizing after a moment that the sunglasses perched on his nose were not the Aviators he brought with him.
“These are yours.”
“Your observational skills astound me.”
“Where are mine?”
“They had a hard life under your backpack on the floor.” Kyuhyun chuckled. Changmin groaned and ran his hand through his hair.
“Damn it. I loved those.” Changmin sighed. Kyuhyun just continued his dark chuckle and plugged his iPhone into a jack in the stereo with a cord that he had magically acquired from somewhere. He babied the iPhone in his hand and cooed at it as if it were a real child, plugging the cord in gently and then searching for something in the phone.
“I hoped you’d give it back when I asked. Oh God I missed this phone. You took away my life when I gave this to you!”
“I’m sorry you can’t call your girlfriend.” Changmin said bitterly, realizing how much of a jealous brat it made him sound only after he said it.
“I meant my music. These radio stations are shitty.” Kyuhyun retorted, which was really stating the obvious fact that Changmin had discovered as well.
“I wouldn’t have kept it forever. I honestly forgot about it.”
“This is nice, isn’t it?” Kyuhyun asked offhandedly.
“What is?”
“Talking.” Kyuhyun answered simply as he fiddled with the car stereo buttons and suddenly a song emptied into the car.
“창문?” Changmin asked, almost immediately recognizing the song. "The Trax?"
“Yeah it just came out in Korea, right?” Kyuhyun nodded.
“That’s really funny…” Changmin whispered to himself.
“What is?”
“You look a lot like the guy in the music video.” Changmin explained, letting a small laugh escape through his lips.
“I look nothing like the guy in the video!” Kyuhyun argued defensively.
“Whatever you say.” Changmin laughed, Kyuhyun defending the accusation strangely becoming more entertaining than the thought by itself.
“I’m glad you know how to laugh, at least. But I don’t look like him.” Kyuhyun said grouchily, but the small smirk at the corner of his lips gave away that he wasn’t that angry about it. Changmin calmed down after a minute and smiled; listening to the song he had actually been listening to while he was traveling before he ran into Kyuhyun.
“Of course I know how to laugh…” Changmin said sheepishly as he pushed the sunglasses up on his nose and looked back at the road. Kyuhyun said something he couldn't hear and didn’t bother pushing the issue. He didn’t want it to be another snide comment about his laughter.
I can laugh, he thought with a pout. There’s just not a lot of reason to usually.
Blind really was a beautiful song, he thought as the passionate chorus echoed against his ears. Love songs usually gave him hives. But this song, and a selected few others, made his chest tighten. Made his heart hurt. Made him wish he had someone to love, or someone to cry and hurt over. He wanted to cry and cover his head with all the blankets he owned and stay in bed for days because it simply hurt to move or breathe or live at all without that person in your life. It was silly really; but it happened to him. Yunho told him it was because his heart was so guarded and he’d never been in love.
Never been in love…
After a few songs that Kyuhyun selected filtered through his ears, a poignant melody flooded in from the speakers softly. Kyuhyun suddenly sat up upon hearing it, putting his feet down and staring at the radio in confusion.
“Why is this playing?” He asked as he fished through the glove box for where he set his iPhone.
The soft, dark honey voice that filtered out next like an angel made Changmin turn it up and his vision blurred as he was lost somewhere between the voice entering his ears and the road ahead of him. Kyuhyun’s anxious shuffling went completely unnoticed as the rich voice filled him.
If you’re not the one, then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one, then why does my hand fit yours this way?
“Can we change it?” Kyuhyun asked after the first verse merged into the heartfelt chorus. Before Changmin could protest, the song was changed and Kyuhyun set the iPhone back on its perch.
He wanted to hear the song. Wanted to change it back to the angelic, caramel macchiato voice that warmed the car around him to make it uncomfortably stuffy, yet incredibly easy to breathe at the same time. Changmin didn’t understand English that well, but he really didn’t need to for that song. It was one of those songs, one of those voices, which made him want to cry for a lover he didn’t have. The emotions in the song were unrivaled by-dare he say-any he had ever heard.
“Why’d you change it?” Changmin asked, not needing to explain what change he was referring to.
“Did you like it?” Kyuhyun asked skeptically.
“Yes… I did.” Changmin admitted.
“Then buy the CD. I can get it from my manager.” Kyuhyun said as he leant back into his seat and looked towards the window. Changmin was again thrown for a curve, nearly slamming down on the breaks in shock.
“That was… you?”
“A solo project that forever caused turmoil for the band.” Kyuhyun answered without answering the question. Kyuhyun dug into his pack for another pair of sunglasses, a barrier going back up that Changmin couldn’t get past.
“Your voice… it’s…” Changmin stuttered, unable to form words, and not sure that he needed to pet the ego that was already almost too big for the car. “You didn't say anything about a solo project when you wanted to give me your life’s story.”
“That song was not even supposed to be released. It’s a bad melody, I sound like shit-“
“No. No, you sound kind of beautiful.” Changmin breathed out finally, deciding honesty was the best policy.
“Mmm. Thanks.” His voice was nowhere near hinting that he believed him, and Changmin decided to let it pass. “And it’s not like I told you my entire life, cháng jǐng lù.”
The other man’s voice was… Changmin couldn’t even finish his own thought. He couldn’t even answer, yell at Kyuhyun for using that ridiculous pet name.
“I want to listen to it.” Changmin voiced his thoughts aloud.
“Mmm. Sorry, I don’t listen to my own music.”
“Then why is it on your phone?”
“I just have all my music. And the bands’.” Kyuhyun shrugged. “The GPS says we can stop soon in about 2 hours. We’ll be in Arkansas I believe by then.” Kyuhyun changed the subject, Changmin not even realized the man had moved and was messing with the GPS. “I’ll just nap till then.”
“You sleep too much.”
“That is an unfair judgment.” Kyuhyun pouted back. It got quiet after that, Changmin sighing as Kyuhyun settled into the seat looking out the window.
There were too many layers to Kyuhyun for a drive across the country to figure out, and yet, they were blatantly laid out in every strange thing that Kyuhyun said as if a map of his personality was projecting out slowly, piece by piece. The “speeches” in the mornings about his life filling in the spaces his actions and personality didn’t. He had an unrivaled arrogance that even Changmin could barely fathom. And yet the stardom hung over his head almost like a crown of shame. He seemed to love painting more than singing, though Changmin had an inkling he was phenomenally talented at both. Kyuhyun’s singing… was mind blowing. Kyuhyun’s painting had to be just as passionate. So he was a painter before he was a rock star. And the dwindling strings of attachment to Korea and his mother and the life he wishes he had there were the frown lines on his narrow cheeks and the sadness in his eyes that he hid with sunglasses and a professional grade smirk.
The two and a half hours ticked by, Changmin humming along to songs he knew and ears straining to figure out or understand the words to the ones he didn’t. Kyuhyun had an overall good taste in music; but that hardly came as a surprise to Changmin. He just wanted to stop the car and kick Kyuhyun out, scream at him and ask him why he was so perfect, so tragic.
Because that’s what Cho Kyuhyun boiled down to. Tragedy.
Changmin smiled despite himself as he saw the sign for entering the new state.
“You really just spent all that time contemplating my existence, didn’t you?” Kyuhyun asked suddenly, staring at Changmin intently.
“Of course not.” Changmin lied instantly, prickling up and focusing anywhere but Kyuhyun’s burning gaze.
“I’m a pretty complicated mess, right?” Kyuhyun asked, and Changmin saw right through the casual front that Kyuhyun had put up when he asked the question and instantly picked up on the bitter sarcasm; the almost mockery in his voice when he addressed himself.
“You’re confident enough that it doesn’t matter either way, right?” Changmin offered.
“Heh. I suppose so.”
“So which hotel are we going to?”
“It’s a Hilton, don’t worry. You will be in peaceful luxury tonight, cháng jǐng lù.”
“And I’m sure you have plans to enjoy yourself as well.” Changmin assumed, kicking himself again for how much of a snotty brat he sounded like.
“I’ll take care of it after I drop you off at the Hilton.”
“You’re not dumping me somewhere and leaving are you?” Changmin demanded sharply, the car swerving just a bit.
“You’re an idiot for even asking that question.” Kyuhyun threw back at him, as heatedly as he could without sounding angry.
“Whatever.” Changmin muttered childishly back, not expecting the outburst but glad he could rest easy about being safe and not stranded in Arkansas.
As he pulled off the highway to the red light to properly flow the traffic into the large, brightly lit town, he looked over at Kyuhyun. He could feel the tension in his forehead and the frown of his mouth as he studied the man. The sun was slowly beginning to set after taking longer than expected to get to Arkansas, and Kyuhyun’s body was still a little tense from Changmin’s “idiotic” question. The purple and red hues scattering across the white shirt he was wearing, spreading onto his shirt, made him glow with the beauty that Changmin kept seeing.
“Damn it…” Changmin sighed as he looked back to the road to find the light already green. He sped off and looked around for the hotel that the GPS promised was somewhere right off the exit.
“It’s over there.” Kyuhyun confirmed as Changmin looked around for the hotel Kyuhyun and the GPS were talking about.
“I’ll go in and get the rooms, and we’ll trade when I’m done.” Kyuhyun explained. “You shouldn’t run into any issues, don’t worry.”
“Not worried.”
“You’re a terrible liar.”
“Just go.” Changmin sighed as they pulled up under the overhang and Changmin shifted the car into park. Kyuhyun nodded and grabbed his wallet before opening the car and hopping out. Changmin tapped his fingers against the steering wheel along with the jazz song that was playing as Kyuhyun entered the lobby, barely visible at the front desk as he made the reservations.
“He better get me a nice room if he isn’t letting me have my wallet.” Changmin muttered. “Or have a say in anything, for that matter.”
Changmin looked at Kyuhyun’s iPhone warily and then smirked. He glanced to make sure Kyuhyun was busy at the counter before sliding his fingers across the phone to unlock it and searching through the music to find the song that had just played.
“His band is called The Painters?” Changmin scoffed. “What a silly name.” He shook his head as he read through some of the song titles. The two Unknown Artist songs at the bottom of the folder for The Painters were both simply numbers without any words. Changmin selected one of them, a soft acoustic guitar coming out before any words. He turned the volume up just slightly and kept watch at the front desk, waiting in anticipation for the voice he knew was about to follow.
It was a different song than before, but it was the voice. It was Kyuhyun’s sad, lonely voice that held all the emotions that Kyuhyun would never speak on his own. The poignant guitar only added to his voice, emphasized it, created a higher pitched fluidity to the deep richness of the voice.
It was beautiful and raw, most definitely a project in progress that Kyuhyun probably had not shown to anyone.
“You’re an asshole.” Changmin scolded himself aloud as he went back to the original playlist that was going when Kyuhyun exited, setting the phone down and casually slouching against the back of the seat as Kyuhyun came back out of the lobby.
Changmin fumbled out of the car, pulling his bags out of the back seat and waiting on the drivers’ side for Kyuhyun to come around.
“Be careful.” Changmin said quietly as he set the keys in Kyuhyun’s hand. Kyuhyun put the hotel room key where the car key once settled in Changmin’s hand.
“Relax. Unwind. Shower.” Kyuhyun smiled warmly. “I’m not as crazy as you think I am.”
“I never said you were crazy.” Changmin smirked as he adjusted his bags and headed for the lobby. He paused as the automatic glass doors opened for him and watched as Kyuhyun pulled out from under the overhang.
“Stop being so perfect.” Changmin pleaded with a sigh, turning on his heels and going inside when he saw the red convertible exit the parking lot.
He walked to the desk and asked where the elevators were, following where the woman pointed and not really listening to any confusing English that she was speaking. He found it around the corner to the right of the front desk and hit the call button with his thumb, the cold sting of the metal making him shiver just a bit. It came quickly, doors opening and friendly, happy music playing from inside with its decorated linoleum and bright fluorescent lights.
Changmin watched his reflection in the mirrored walls as he rode up to the 10th floor, where Changmin assumed the room 1008 was on.
“I wonder if Kyuhyun got a room on the same floor. He has his phone, I’ll just text him and tell him to let me know where his room is.” Changmin completed the question and answer in his head as he dug for his phone and then suddenly paused. “I don’t know his number! God damn it.” Changmin muttered. He nearly dropped his phone in surprise as the vibrations went off and a new message popped up on the screen.
I just realized you don’t have my number. I got yours while you were sleeping, I hope you don’t mind. It’s Kyuhyun. Call me if you need anything, my room is on the floor right below yours.
“How did he know?” Changmin demanded at the innocent technology, resisting the urge to scream in frustration. He got off quickly as the elevator stopped and followed the signs that organized the hallway by number, watching all the numbers on the doors as he passed until he found the one that matched the card. He put it in quickly, failing at first because of how quickly he did it, then finally getting the door opened. He dumped all his bags right inside the door and kicked off his shoes as he slammed the door shut and made his way straight for the bathroom. He pulled the shirt over his head, not even bothering to unbutton it and take it off properly, tugging and battling his jeans after that to get the tightly fitted denim off of his too-long legs. He set the iPhone that was still glued to his hand, message still open, on the counter. Trying to turn on the shower was a nearly frantic attempt, the bathroom door still open and the curtain barely containing the water as it sprayed out as he tried to get it to the right temperature.
He stepped in as soon as it was hot enough to nearly burn his hand and cringed at the burning against his skin for a few moments before sinking down into the tub, the rather sharp, hot sprays of water crashing down on his head and one leg up over the edge of the tub, tangling in the shower curtain in a way that normally would be revolting to him.
But right now it was comfortable.
He leant forward and against the wall so it pounded against his back and shoulders, sighing in contentment.
“Less than three more days of driving. You can handle it.” Changmin assured himself. “Order some dinner, lay in bed, read, and relax.”
Changmin thought about Kyuhyun might be doing tonight, without him, not even caring about where he was or what he was doing. It made his vision blurry and his blood boil.
“He did this to me.” Changmin growled. “This fucking asshole.” Changmin cursed, his nails digging into his thigh as his fist clenched.
He found it hard to decide whether his hands wanted to be around Kyuhyun’s neck, choking him to death, or letting his hands feed the arousal that he couldn’t help feeling when Kyuhyun was on his mind.
He shifted in the shower and reached towards the counter where his iPhone was sitting. He closed the message and searched for an Internet signal, his rear going numb from the piping hot water beating against his ass and thighs. He typed in The Painters when Google finally began to work. The results were random, mostly about art and not music, but one of the first Youtube responses brought him to a song title that sounded familiar from the list that he had looked at on Kyuhyun’s music.
The volume was turned up all the way as it began loading and the first few notes flooding out into the echoing bathroom, Changmin sinking back to his position in the tub before the words started.
Kyuhyun’s voice entering his ears in the soulful way that it did made him realize that either option couldn’t turn out so badly, but he preferred the latter.