(no subject)
its such a mess. i cant find it in me to just say to hell with it all but i know its bad for me. i know i have been back and forth and i know that everyone is getting sick of hearing it (dont listen or read any farther if that is the case, i am not offended) but i have get fed up on my own. i have to be totally done with it, trust me that will come but i havent reached it yet. i know full and well what is going on but i for some reason that i cant explain chose to do it all over again. then everything with ryan was bad and now ok and i dont know if it will be normal again. then things that i havent dealt with in almost 3 years are coming back and i just cant take it all! but i have to now because there is no other time. i just cant explain what is going on inside me, i feel like screaming. why is it so hard to see something from someone elses point of view. you know it would be a lot easier if people (me included) just got over it and said something. just be honest! no people dont always (almost never) want to hear the truth and they are much happier not knowing but sometimes you just have to say it. i am so sick of games. i just cant take it anymore. it doesnt matter! so like i was saying just another average day, not too bad either.