just a matter of time
So now we’ve managed to diminish unto people who do vague banter. This sucks ass so much. To think at one point we were intimate, to think I felt as though I was ME when I was with him. Not trying to appease others. Not trying to say what seems right. Being who I am, saying exactly what I was thinking. Now this. All because of my foolishness in being honest. I should have just kept my mouth shut, let him have his suspicions but never any evidence. I have now lit the candle, and it’s almost out of wax. I have the strangest feeling I may have pressed the delete button, not new paragraph. I’m erasing what we had. There will be no past soon, so why be a future? I can’t stand this. To think of not knowing him, it makes me nauseous more than I can ever remember feeling. I hope this doesn’t sound psychotic. It’s weird, how the heart works. Too others it sounds insane, but to the one who’s heart it is, it just MAKES SENSE. Although not knowing him would get me to write about something other than him. He’s the one person I know who, he smiles, I smile. No matter what. Its crazy how magnetic I feel towards him. But nothing I can do. Arrggg...