(no subject)
Oh my goodness.
Last week, I posted on Craig's List that I was available to babysit on the Upper East Side, and today I got a call from a desperate mother who needed a babysitter today for her five-and-a-half-month-old daughter from 1:00pm-4:00pm, as she had a job interview.
I probably shouldn't have taken the job, not having experience babysitting children younger than one and a half. But I did anyway, because she sounded like she really needed someone, and the baby was supposedly a "good" baby. When I arrived, the baby was good - she was adorably beautiful, and she was calm and curious. But mom was supposed to feed her before she left, and mom forgot. So an hour and a half later I had a screaming baby on my hands.
Mom had left thawed breast milk in a baggie on the counter, so I warmed it under some tap water. But mom didn't want me to use a bottle; she had a little cup that she wanted me to use. So I put the milk in the cup and held it up for the baby. She didn't like it one bit. She would suck, but it seemed to hurt her and she would scrunch up her little face and start crying. I tested the cup; the tip was hard and no formula was coming out. The poor baby's gums! So I found the bottle and decided to try it anyway. I put the milk into the bottle; the baby still didn't really like it, although the formula was still warm and the tip was letting some drops come out. Eventually she sucked on it for a minute or so, then spit it out and started screaming again. The cat was terrified and dashed under the couch. I thought maybe the baby needed to be burped, so I tried burping her. Instead of burping, she latched onto my shoulder with her little gums and started sucking (and drooling) away. So I thought that she must still be hungry. I tried to give her the bottle again; she spat it out immediately. I thought maybe the formula had gotten too cold, so I went to the sink and ran warm water over it again. She took it, then after a few seconds she spat it out and guess what - screaming, and trying to reach under my shirt. I thought that holding her in a breastfeeding position, as I was, wasn't helping the bottle process, so I put her in her little inclined chair to try to feed her that way. Again, she took it for a few seconds, then spat it out and kept screaming. Now she refused to take the bottle at all. I thought maybe she's full now and needs to be burped, so I picked her up to try to burp her, and again, she latched onto my shoulder with her little gums. But now everytime I approached her with the bottle she immediately began crying. I picked her up, rocked her, sang to her, and let her suck at my now soaked shirt, and she seemed okay for a bit. Then - more screaming, refusing the bottle. I checked her diaper; she was dry. I tried to distract her with toys; no avail. I gave her a pacifier; didn't work. I rocked her in her chair, thinking that maybe she was tired and needed a nap; she didn't fall asleep, and her cries just got louder and louder, and she repeatedly clawed at my shirt.
Finally, mom came home. Thankfully, the baby stopped crying before mom walked in the door; I'm terrified the neighbors are going to tell her that I let the baby scream and scream for half an hour. But mom tells me that she's never used the cup before, she's never used the bottle before - she's been exclusively breast-fed. I am also her first babysitter; mom is an attorney who has been on maternity leave for the past five months, and she was meeting with her first new client back on the job. So here I am, the new babysitter with a five-and-a-half month old who's on the cusp of developing stranger anxiety, trying to feed her with a bottle for the first time ever when mom forgot to feed her before she left. Incidentally, the baby also had heat rash on her neck and was sweating up a storm - it's sweltering in New York City, even with the window air units on.
I still feel like I did something wrong. Was the formula not warm enough? Was I holding her incorrectly to feed? Did I not burp her enough? My mother and mother-in-law said I didn't - that the transition from breast to bottle is hard enough anyway, let alone the first try with a complete stranger. I just feel like such a failure for not being able to give her what she wanted most - her mother.
I didn't realize how much I was stressed out about it until Chris walked in the door, at which point I burst into tears when he gave me a hug. If I can't handle a five-month-old for three hours without feeling completely and utterly exhausted, how am I going to handle being a mom?
Last week, I posted on Craig's List that I was available to babysit on the Upper East Side, and today I got a call from a desperate mother who needed a babysitter today for her five-and-a-half-month-old daughter from 1:00pm-4:00pm, as she had a job interview.
I probably shouldn't have taken the job, not having experience babysitting children younger than one and a half. But I did anyway, because she sounded like she really needed someone, and the baby was supposedly a "good" baby. When I arrived, the baby was good - she was adorably beautiful, and she was calm and curious. But mom was supposed to feed her before she left, and mom forgot. So an hour and a half later I had a screaming baby on my hands.
Mom had left thawed breast milk in a baggie on the counter, so I warmed it under some tap water. But mom didn't want me to use a bottle; she had a little cup that she wanted me to use. So I put the milk in the cup and held it up for the baby. She didn't like it one bit. She would suck, but it seemed to hurt her and she would scrunch up her little face and start crying. I tested the cup; the tip was hard and no formula was coming out. The poor baby's gums! So I found the bottle and decided to try it anyway. I put the milk into the bottle; the baby still didn't really like it, although the formula was still warm and the tip was letting some drops come out. Eventually she sucked on it for a minute or so, then spit it out and started screaming again. The cat was terrified and dashed under the couch. I thought maybe the baby needed to be burped, so I tried burping her. Instead of burping, she latched onto my shoulder with her little gums and started sucking (and drooling) away. So I thought that she must still be hungry. I tried to give her the bottle again; she spat it out immediately. I thought maybe the formula had gotten too cold, so I went to the sink and ran warm water over it again. She took it, then after a few seconds she spat it out and guess what - screaming, and trying to reach under my shirt. I thought that holding her in a breastfeeding position, as I was, wasn't helping the bottle process, so I put her in her little inclined chair to try to feed her that way. Again, she took it for a few seconds, then spat it out and kept screaming. Now she refused to take the bottle at all. I thought maybe she's full now and needs to be burped, so I picked her up to try to burp her, and again, she latched onto my shoulder with her little gums. But now everytime I approached her with the bottle she immediately began crying. I picked her up, rocked her, sang to her, and let her suck at my now soaked shirt, and she seemed okay for a bit. Then - more screaming, refusing the bottle. I checked her diaper; she was dry. I tried to distract her with toys; no avail. I gave her a pacifier; didn't work. I rocked her in her chair, thinking that maybe she was tired and needed a nap; she didn't fall asleep, and her cries just got louder and louder, and she repeatedly clawed at my shirt.
Finally, mom came home. Thankfully, the baby stopped crying before mom walked in the door; I'm terrified the neighbors are going to tell her that I let the baby scream and scream for half an hour. But mom tells me that she's never used the cup before, she's never used the bottle before - she's been exclusively breast-fed. I am also her first babysitter; mom is an attorney who has been on maternity leave for the past five months, and she was meeting with her first new client back on the job. So here I am, the new babysitter with a five-and-a-half month old who's on the cusp of developing stranger anxiety, trying to feed her with a bottle for the first time ever when mom forgot to feed her before she left. Incidentally, the baby also had heat rash on her neck and was sweating up a storm - it's sweltering in New York City, even with the window air units on.
I still feel like I did something wrong. Was the formula not warm enough? Was I holding her incorrectly to feed? Did I not burp her enough? My mother and mother-in-law said I didn't - that the transition from breast to bottle is hard enough anyway, let alone the first try with a complete stranger. I just feel like such a failure for not being able to give her what she wanted most - her mother.
I didn't realize how much I was stressed out about it until Chris walked in the door, at which point I burst into tears when he gave me a hug. If I can't handle a five-month-old for three hours without feeling completely and utterly exhausted, how am I going to handle being a mom?