LETTERS (Part Thirteen of Fifteen)
YES, I'M ALIVE--AND SO IS THIS FIC! :) I'm so sorry for making everyone wait; I've been so busy with so many things in my personal life. Before I leave for my three-day beach vaycay, I decided to leave everyone with the third-to-last chapter of this monster of a fic. Please, enjoy!
LETTERS
A Kradam Romance in Fifteen Parts
Chapter Thirteen: A Moment Alone
By: Lady Michaelis
Pairing: Adam Lambert/Kris Allen, Cale Mills/Cassidy Haley
Rating: PG - NC17
Warnings: Sexual situations, voyeurism, foul language
Genre: Romance/Drama/Humor
Summary: Kris Allen never thought he would find a friend in the form of an old letter.
Disclaimers:I will never, ever own Kradam (or any of the other characters here, for that matter). If you know anyone featured in this fic - or worse, if you find your name here - please don’t kill me. What happens here may not be happening in real time right now, but they probably will sooner or later. Just you wait, you non-tinhatters. Just you wait.
IMPORTANT NOTE: Just so you won’t be confused, Adam takes the reins for this chapter. The last two will revert back to Kris' point of view
Kris,
Obviously, I’ve been scorning your need to talk about what happened between us. While I’m glad that you didn’t spring from my arms like a scared puppy this morning, I believe I owe you an apology for dismissing the subject all the time as if it’s unimportant, when in fact, it’s the first thing I should consider if I want to have a proper future with you. I’m currently not in the right mind to discuss this with you face-to-face, so I hope a letter may suffice for now. (By the way, this means that I’m holing up in the loft right after my shower like a scared little kid. Fuck my life a gazillion times over.)
Anyway…I guess last night is as good enough a place to start as any-or maybe I should go even further than that. But timeline be damned, I know I like you and I care about you a lot. It’s not something I’m used to since the guys I’ve been with are basically fuck-and-go types, so that felt really nice. I’m treading on my toes here since one wrong move can just ruin everything for us-well, on my part, at least. I’m a fucking coward, Kris. I don’t want to hurt you. If we do get together, I just might…and I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to forgive myself for that.
Last night’s events gave me a change of heart, though. It was so brave of you to just lie there, making sure that we’d be able to have that nice little talk. Had I woken up before you--well, I already said that I’m a coward when it comes to relationships, so I don’t need to say any more on the matter.
What I’m trying to say is that if you’re willing to take the plunge, I’ll go dive into the sea with you regardless of the sharks and jellyfish that might sting me.
Love,
Adam
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Adam stared at the letter in his hands, feeling like the world’s biggest douche. Really, it was stupid of him to be holing up in the loft when he could just go down, throw the letter into the fireplace and tell Kris exactly how he felt in person.
Well, if things were that easy, he would probably be renting a horse-drawn carriage for his wedding now.
The thing with him was that he sucked at maintaining actual relationships. All his exes-except Brad because the bitch was just wonderful like that-would probably have a go at him if someone put a bounty on his head. Whenever he brought up the subject of Kris over the phone just a few minutes ago, the little minx of a man just scoffed at him and told him to be himself for once. Bradley Bell had been his only serious boyfriend, and they’d stayed good friends post-breakup because Brad was like herpes when it came to friendship. Also, he was Adam’s go-to person for anything because Brad knew him front-to-back.
The possibility of him hurting Kris Allen was putting a damper on his confidence.
He refolded the letter for the nth time, convinced that he was never going to be able to man up for this. He had never been in a scenario where he actually wanted to make a confession since his life consisted of flings that ended up in mishaps. Kris definitely did not belong in that category because he was sweet, smart, adorable and the best thing that ever happened to Adam. Normally, Adam would devour the entree as soon as it was served, but this time around, he was afraid to. He suddenly has this weird phobia of Kris disappearing the moment Adam would touch him.
So far, everything had seemed so surreal to Adam. Sure, it was a given that this mini-vacation would bring some much needed peace and quiet into his life. He had counted on getting a whole lot of sleep, having some lunches and dinner at Megan’s, and having a few drinks with Cassidy, but that was it. He knew that Kris was going to be around, but he had expected them to move independently of each other at their own paces. Hanging out with Kris---and eventually falling in love with him-had been the last thing he expected to happen. Considering his current state of mind, it would probably be best if he packed his bags, reserved a seat on the next flight back to LA and simply forgot about all this.
Yes, that would be the smartest thing to do, but definitely not the easiest. Because the moment that an image of Kris’ hurt expression swam into Adam’s head, the glam rocker would lose all resolve to leave. There was no denying that Kris reciprocated his feelings, and Adam knew that the darling creature was patiently waiting for him to make the next move. He was the experienced one in this department, so leaving Kris hanging would be the definition of extreme douche behavior.
...not to mention it’d break his heart as well.
Clutching the letter in a death grip, Adam pushed himself out of the desk chair and slowly made his way downstairs, determined to talk to Kris like a proper man. Unfortunately for him, the flight of stairs wasn’t long enough for him to do any more thinking.
“Kris?”
He was greeted by silence.
Frowning, Adam reached for the empty mug on the coffee and palmed it briefly, noticing it was still warm. Before he had gone upstairs for his shower, Kris had been sitting on the sofa while sipping hot cocoa from the very same mug in Adam’s hands. They had been apart for at least two hours thanks to that bloody letter he’d spent an insane amount of time writing. Passing by the kitchen to leave the mug in the sink-still no Kris-Adam poked his head out the back door to see if Kris had gone out. Save for the swirling snowflakes and the thickening patches of white on the ground, there was nothing else out there.
“...where the fuck are you, Kris?”
The rockstar headed back inside in search of his iPhone, praying to whatever entity out there that would listen to him for Kris’ safety. Thankful that he had the Southern boy’s number on speed dial, he quickly pressed the number four on his keypad, mentally begging it to ring. He nearly dropped his own phone at the familiar sound of The Beetles’ ‘Come Together’ resonating from somewhere upstairs.
Apparently, Kris had left his phone behind.
“...shit,” Adam cursed. “Goddamn fucking shit.”
He leaned heavily against the wall, too dazed and scared to think clearly. For some reason, Kris was out there somewhere, and Adam had no idea what to do. Almost mechanically, he reached for the cabin phone’s receiver and dialled Cassidy’s number.
“Haley residence,” a rough, low voice picked up. “How may I help you?”
“Cale?” Adam took a quick stab. “It’s Adam.”
“Are you okay, man?” Cale’s tone immediately shifted to one of concern. “You sound shit scared.”
“Kris is missing,” Adam exhaled, trying not to drop the receiver. “When I went downstairs after my shower to look for him, he was gone. I tried to call him, but he left his goddamn phone inside the house.”
“Wait, are you telling me the kid just walked out of your place?” Cale asked incredulously. “It’s fucking snowing outside! Did he not hear the reports about the blizzard?”
“I don’t know, Cale!” Adam practically yelled in exasperation. “None of that matters now, okay? I just...I just need to find him, goddamnit. If I need to walk out this door in my fucking boxers, I’m going to do it. I can’t leave him out there to freeze, Cale.”
“...the shortstop needs a keeper,” Cale sighed. “Listen, Cass and I will help you look for him. Can you meet us in front of your place in ten minutes? We’ll try to get there are fast as we can. Meanwhile, DON’T DO ANYTHING STUPID. If you find clues as to where Kris might have gone, keep them in your back pocket until we get there. I don’t want to worry about two missing people.”
“You’re amazing, Cale,” Adam exhaled. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep myself alive. See you in ten.”
He hung up the phone and headed straight for the hall closet, pulling out the thickest and warmest coat he brought along. He would probably look ridiculous wearing that with his Bowie shirt and old jeans, but his appearance wasn’t something to really care about at the moment. Stuffing the house keys and Kris’ phone into the coat pocket, he shut the door behind him and made for the front yard, hoping to see something that would give him a clue to Kris’ whereabouts.
“You stupid little darling,” he muttered to no one in particular. “What on earth could have made you want to run out in this weather without even telling me?”
If Kris had gone out to help a woodland creature-it seemed like a very Kris thing to do, honestly-there was a possibility that Adam was going to end up strangling the squirrel or rabbit or whatever it was. The snow was already ankle-deep at the moment, which meant that it was going to get more difficult for him to move about later on. Inhaling sharply, he moved towards the fence, silently praying that Cale and Cassidy would arrive faster. Each passing second was like a decade, especially since he was shit scared.
Honestly, Adam Lambert couldn’t remember the last time he had felt such a way. Sure, he was witty, candid and fun to hang around with, but he’d never been the type to worry his head off about the welfare of some other person. The very reason for his bad habit was that people in his life were so fond of coming and going. He’d been stupid for some point in his life, letting people walk all over him because he cared too much about them. Eventually, he’d woken up, picked himself off the floor and simply decided to stop caring too much about others. He’d been doing well so far, taking up his dear friend Gaga’s advice to swear off men and stay mated with his career, but meeting adorable little Kris Allen made him change his mind about a few things.
“Yo, Lambert!”
A weathered pick-up truck-very similar to that of Kris’-pulled up in front of him. A haggard-looking Cale stuck his head out the window, signalling Adam to get in. Feeling a rush of adrenalin surge through his veins, the singer hopped into the vehicle, nodding a greeting to Cassidy.
“...I don’t know what to say, Adam,” the pixie-like man sighed. “It just doesn’t seem like Kris to do something so stupid. Do you have any clues as to where he might have gone?”
“None, I’m afraid,” Adam rubbed his temples wearily. “If he left footprints, the snow would have covered them up by now. Fuck, I shouldn’t have lingered in the shower.”
“It’s not your fault, man,” Cale said firmly. “You couldn’t have known that the kid was going to march out unarmed. If we are to think logically, I think he went into the forest. The kid is a bit of a starry-eyed wanderer; he has the tendency to just go off on his own when he’s pondering something.”
“...crap,” Adam buried his face in his hands. “If that was the very reason he went out for a walk, it’s totally my fault. I should have just talked to him about the sex and where we stand and all that jazz; instead, i chose to skirt around like a scared little thing and-”
“Adam, sweetie, hush,” Cassidy interrupted him. “Instead of blabbering about blaming yourself, you should concentrate on finding Kris. Since Cale knows him best and has the best possible idea right now, we’re going to head to the forest and try to find him. Hopefully, he hasn’t gotten too far. Just in case we don’t find him, I already put in a call to the local sheriff. He has a search team at the ready-all we have to do is tell them where we’re going to start searching.”
“You should call them now, babe,” Cale suggested. “We don’t know these woods, and we could really use a lot of extra hands and sniffer dogs given the circumstances.”
“I will,” Cassidy agreed, pulling his cellphone out of his pocket. “Hopefully, they can get out of town as fast as we did. It’s going to be pretty hard to drive in this snow once it starts piling up.”
The location of Adam’s cabin was pretty much on the outskirts of town, but it was still a thirty-minute walk away from the forest itself. Driving would get them there faster, and the rockstar didn’t want to spare another moment waiting. The longer they stalled, the harder it would be to find Kris.
“Keep calm, Adam,” Cale ordered gently, as if reading his thoughts. “If you flip out now, we’re going to have two problems to deal with instead of one. Stay calm, okay? Do it for the little guy.”
Afraid that words would betray him, Adam simply nodded and pressed his forehead against the cool glass. It was almost unbearable for him to watch the white specks hit the ground, knowing full well that Kris was out there, cold and alone.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Kris was scared. For as long as he could remember, he’d been lying on his back in the snow, watching the flakes hit the ground in copious amounts.
Really, it had been idiotic of him to take a walk with a snowstorm on his tail.
The thing with Kris was that he tended to lose his focus when he was lost in a world of his own thoughts. He had been so absorbed in the whole Adam situation that he failed to notice the uprooted protrusion from the side of a fairly large tree. He’d ended up tripping over it and getting an injured ankle as a bonus. There was no way he could ask for help since he’d left his phone at the cabin. His only hope of ever getting home was if Adam would notice his absence and come out looking for him.
“...I’m such an idiot,” he muttered to no one in particular.
Bearing with the searing pain in his ankle, Kris pulled himself upright into a sitting position, leaning heavily against the tree trunk after doing so. At this point, the cold was still bearable, but he knew a thing or two about hypothermia and how it’d take to set in. It would be an honest-to-goodness miracle if someone managed to find him in time, but if he wanted to live, he’d have to crawl out of the woods on his own.
Adam Lambert.
Even when he was lost and injured in the middle of who-knew-where, the glam rocker was all Kris could think about. It made him feel stupid to realize that he was more than just a little bit in love with Adam, who was amazing and famous-things Kris was far from being. He had no doubts about their friendship, but he was shit scared of the possibility that he could be the only one who wanted something more. Sure, Adam seemed cool despite the unprecedented sex, but he’d been a bit withdrawn all the same. Just earlier this morning, he’d holed up in the loft right after his shower, obviously not in the mood to have a conversation with Kris.
He should have known that they weren’t going to work out right from the start.
Deliberately pushing all thoughts of Adam from his head, Kris used an overhanging tree branch to pull himself to a standing position, groaning at how much it hurt just to put a wee bit of pressure on his bad leg. With the condition he was in, he wasn’t going to be able to get far without support. Dejected, he allowed himself to slump down into a sitting position once more, feeling every bit the idiot.
In a snowstorm like this, all he could do was pray and hang on.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“He went in there?” Adam was incredulous. “There are all sorts of things in that forest! What if the munchies have already gotten to Kris?”
“Calm down, Mister Lambert,” the sheriff-Sheriff Duncan, his badge said---put a hand on his shoulder. “There are no monsters in these woods, alright? Now, do you have anything of his that the bloodhounds can use to track Mister Allen’s scent?”
“His iPhone!” Adam exclaimed brightly, handing the gadget over to the sheriff. “I know it’s pretty uncharacteristic as an, uhm, tracking item, but it’s all I got right now.”
“That’ll do, thanks,” Sheriff Duncan nodded, moving towards the town’s version of a K9 unit. “Get ready, gentlemen; we’re going in now.”
“Try not to feed yourself to the munchies, Lambert,” Cale said with a wry grin. “I might see you in its belly when shorty finds out I let it eat you.”
“Normally, I’d be laughing or pulling faces at such a bad joke,” Adam grumbled, shoving his hands into his coat pocket as he trudged along behind the K9 unit. “I’m just really worried about Kris.”
“We know, darling,” Cassidy put an arm around his waist. “But just worrying about him won’t help the situation anymore. To be able to help out the best way you can, you have to be focused and positive. Everyone needs to be in the best physical and mental condition possible to keep the morale up.”
“That’s my baby,” Cale said proudly. “Cassidy Haley doesn’t dabble in negativity.”
Adam chose to say nothing for the rest of the search session. Instead, he kept himself on the lookout for any sign of Kris, hoping the guy hadn’t gotten himself lost or hurt. It was tempting to run straight into the woods yelling Kris’ name, but he remembered Cale’s warning and figured that everything would just hurtle downhill if he’d get himself lost as well. Since he’d grown up along the coasts of sunny California, Adam had never been one to take to the cold. He’d spent a lot of time up here in Montana, and he knew how harsh the winters here could be. Kris, unfortunately, had not been armed with that knowledge.
“Sheriff, have the dogs picked up anything?” he asked warily. “It seems that we’ve been walking for quite some time now, and this isn’t doing my anxiety levels any good.”
“They’ve certainly gotten a whiff of something, Mister Lambert,” Sheriff Duncan responded. “When they get it spot on, they’re going to make a run for it. We’ve got to be careful, though-the forest lake might have just iced over, so we’ll have to go around it.”
“Hopefully, he didn’t get that far,” Cale muttered. “I am hoping and praying that he’s just sitting somewhere and not walking around like a little lost puppy.”
“Cale, please don’t add to the scare factor,” Adam said wearily. “You do know that I have an overly active imagination that is capable of conjuring up all sorts of things, yes?”
“Okay, I’ll be quiet,” Cale promised. “It’s just that Kris means as much to me as he does to you-in a completely different way, though. We’ve been best friends since he was the size of a Yorkshire Terrier, and I’d always have to help him out because he had a penchant for getting into trouble.”
“I know what you mean, buddy,” Adam threw an arm around Cale’s shoulder. “Cass is right; we’re going to find him. When we do, we are going to kill him-”
He was interrupted by a loud bark from one of the team’s dogs, meaning full well that it made a new discovery. Adam froze for a moment, and then dashed after the dog and the officer, excited and anxious at the prospect of finally locating Kris.
“We’re close!” the officer told him excitedly. “Bowser doesn’t get this excited unless he’s sure.”
“Jesus, I’m going to owe my happiness to a dog named after a Super Mario Brothers villain,” Adam replied with a breathless chuckle. “Wait, I think I see him. Over there, at the foot of that tree!”
Kris was curled up at the foot of the tree, his right leg sticking out at an odd angle. His eyes were shut tight, as if in pain. Concerned, Adam crouched down at his side, smoothing a hand over Kris’ brow.
“Baby?” he asked softly. “It’s me, Adam. Come on, open your eyes...”
“...Adam?” Kris asked groggily, squinting at him. “Am I...am I dreaming?”
“No, baby,” Adam smiled, pressing a kiss to Kris’ forehead. “I’m really here; you don’t need to worry now.”
“I’m sorry if I worried you,” Kris managed to muster. “I just thought I’d go out for a walk...”
“You did a very stupid thing, you idiot,” Adam sighed. “Cale, Cass and I were worried sick about you. I was so scared that I wouldn’t see you again.”
“He’s hurt his ankle,” the officer reported. “I’ll alert the paramedics now.”
“I’m tired,” Kris sighed, burying his nose into Adam’s shirt. “My foot hurts so bad.”
“Rest, baby,” Adam looped an arm around him. “We’ll talk when you wake up.”
LETTERS
A Kradam Romance in Fifteen Parts
Chapter Thirteen: A Moment Alone
By: Lady Michaelis
Pairing: Adam Lambert/Kris Allen, Cale Mills/Cassidy Haley
Rating: PG - NC17
Warnings: Sexual situations, voyeurism, foul language
Genre: Romance/Drama/Humor
Summary: Kris Allen never thought he would find a friend in the form of an old letter.
Disclaimers:I will never, ever own Kradam (or any of the other characters here, for that matter). If you know anyone featured in this fic - or worse, if you find your name here - please don’t kill me. What happens here may not be happening in real time right now, but they probably will sooner or later. Just you wait, you non-tinhatters. Just you wait.
IMPORTANT NOTE: Just so you won’t be confused, Adam takes the reins for this chapter. The last two will revert back to Kris' point of view
Kris,
Obviously, I’ve been scorning your need to talk about what happened between us. While I’m glad that you didn’t spring from my arms like a scared puppy this morning, I believe I owe you an apology for dismissing the subject all the time as if it’s unimportant, when in fact, it’s the first thing I should consider if I want to have a proper future with you. I’m currently not in the right mind to discuss this with you face-to-face, so I hope a letter may suffice for now. (By the way, this means that I’m holing up in the loft right after my shower like a scared little kid. Fuck my life a gazillion times over.)
Anyway…I guess last night is as good enough a place to start as any-or maybe I should go even further than that. But timeline be damned, I know I like you and I care about you a lot. It’s not something I’m used to since the guys I’ve been with are basically fuck-and-go types, so that felt really nice. I’m treading on my toes here since one wrong move can just ruin everything for us-well, on my part, at least. I’m a fucking coward, Kris. I don’t want to hurt you. If we do get together, I just might…and I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to forgive myself for that.
Last night’s events gave me a change of heart, though. It was so brave of you to just lie there, making sure that we’d be able to have that nice little talk. Had I woken up before you--well, I already said that I’m a coward when it comes to relationships, so I don’t need to say any more on the matter.
What I’m trying to say is that if you’re willing to take the plunge, I’ll go dive into the sea with you regardless of the sharks and jellyfish that might sting me.
Love,
Adam
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Adam stared at the letter in his hands, feeling like the world’s biggest douche. Really, it was stupid of him to be holing up in the loft when he could just go down, throw the letter into the fireplace and tell Kris exactly how he felt in person.
Well, if things were that easy, he would probably be renting a horse-drawn carriage for his wedding now.
The thing with him was that he sucked at maintaining actual relationships. All his exes-except Brad because the bitch was just wonderful like that-would probably have a go at him if someone put a bounty on his head. Whenever he brought up the subject of Kris over the phone just a few minutes ago, the little minx of a man just scoffed at him and told him to be himself for once. Bradley Bell had been his only serious boyfriend, and they’d stayed good friends post-breakup because Brad was like herpes when it came to friendship. Also, he was Adam’s go-to person for anything because Brad knew him front-to-back.
The possibility of him hurting Kris Allen was putting a damper on his confidence.
He refolded the letter for the nth time, convinced that he was never going to be able to man up for this. He had never been in a scenario where he actually wanted to make a confession since his life consisted of flings that ended up in mishaps. Kris definitely did not belong in that category because he was sweet, smart, adorable and the best thing that ever happened to Adam. Normally, Adam would devour the entree as soon as it was served, but this time around, he was afraid to. He suddenly has this weird phobia of Kris disappearing the moment Adam would touch him.
So far, everything had seemed so surreal to Adam. Sure, it was a given that this mini-vacation would bring some much needed peace and quiet into his life. He had counted on getting a whole lot of sleep, having some lunches and dinner at Megan’s, and having a few drinks with Cassidy, but that was it. He knew that Kris was going to be around, but he had expected them to move independently of each other at their own paces. Hanging out with Kris---and eventually falling in love with him-had been the last thing he expected to happen. Considering his current state of mind, it would probably be best if he packed his bags, reserved a seat on the next flight back to LA and simply forgot about all this.
Yes, that would be the smartest thing to do, but definitely not the easiest. Because the moment that an image of Kris’ hurt expression swam into Adam’s head, the glam rocker would lose all resolve to leave. There was no denying that Kris reciprocated his feelings, and Adam knew that the darling creature was patiently waiting for him to make the next move. He was the experienced one in this department, so leaving Kris hanging would be the definition of extreme douche behavior.
...not to mention it’d break his heart as well.
Clutching the letter in a death grip, Adam pushed himself out of the desk chair and slowly made his way downstairs, determined to talk to Kris like a proper man. Unfortunately for him, the flight of stairs wasn’t long enough for him to do any more thinking.
“Kris?”
He was greeted by silence.
Frowning, Adam reached for the empty mug on the coffee and palmed it briefly, noticing it was still warm. Before he had gone upstairs for his shower, Kris had been sitting on the sofa while sipping hot cocoa from the very same mug in Adam’s hands. They had been apart for at least two hours thanks to that bloody letter he’d spent an insane amount of time writing. Passing by the kitchen to leave the mug in the sink-still no Kris-Adam poked his head out the back door to see if Kris had gone out. Save for the swirling snowflakes and the thickening patches of white on the ground, there was nothing else out there.
“...where the fuck are you, Kris?”
The rockstar headed back inside in search of his iPhone, praying to whatever entity out there that would listen to him for Kris’ safety. Thankful that he had the Southern boy’s number on speed dial, he quickly pressed the number four on his keypad, mentally begging it to ring. He nearly dropped his own phone at the familiar sound of The Beetles’ ‘Come Together’ resonating from somewhere upstairs.
Apparently, Kris had left his phone behind.
“...shit,” Adam cursed. “Goddamn fucking shit.”
He leaned heavily against the wall, too dazed and scared to think clearly. For some reason, Kris was out there somewhere, and Adam had no idea what to do. Almost mechanically, he reached for the cabin phone’s receiver and dialled Cassidy’s number.
“Haley residence,” a rough, low voice picked up. “How may I help you?”
“Cale?” Adam took a quick stab. “It’s Adam.”
“Are you okay, man?” Cale’s tone immediately shifted to one of concern. “You sound shit scared.”
“Kris is missing,” Adam exhaled, trying not to drop the receiver. “When I went downstairs after my shower to look for him, he was gone. I tried to call him, but he left his goddamn phone inside the house.”
“Wait, are you telling me the kid just walked out of your place?” Cale asked incredulously. “It’s fucking snowing outside! Did he not hear the reports about the blizzard?”
“I don’t know, Cale!” Adam practically yelled in exasperation. “None of that matters now, okay? I just...I just need to find him, goddamnit. If I need to walk out this door in my fucking boxers, I’m going to do it. I can’t leave him out there to freeze, Cale.”
“...the shortstop needs a keeper,” Cale sighed. “Listen, Cass and I will help you look for him. Can you meet us in front of your place in ten minutes? We’ll try to get there are fast as we can. Meanwhile, DON’T DO ANYTHING STUPID. If you find clues as to where Kris might have gone, keep them in your back pocket until we get there. I don’t want to worry about two missing people.”
“You’re amazing, Cale,” Adam exhaled. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep myself alive. See you in ten.”
He hung up the phone and headed straight for the hall closet, pulling out the thickest and warmest coat he brought along. He would probably look ridiculous wearing that with his Bowie shirt and old jeans, but his appearance wasn’t something to really care about at the moment. Stuffing the house keys and Kris’ phone into the coat pocket, he shut the door behind him and made for the front yard, hoping to see something that would give him a clue to Kris’ whereabouts.
“You stupid little darling,” he muttered to no one in particular. “What on earth could have made you want to run out in this weather without even telling me?”
If Kris had gone out to help a woodland creature-it seemed like a very Kris thing to do, honestly-there was a possibility that Adam was going to end up strangling the squirrel or rabbit or whatever it was. The snow was already ankle-deep at the moment, which meant that it was going to get more difficult for him to move about later on. Inhaling sharply, he moved towards the fence, silently praying that Cale and Cassidy would arrive faster. Each passing second was like a decade, especially since he was shit scared.
Honestly, Adam Lambert couldn’t remember the last time he had felt such a way. Sure, he was witty, candid and fun to hang around with, but he’d never been the type to worry his head off about the welfare of some other person. The very reason for his bad habit was that people in his life were so fond of coming and going. He’d been stupid for some point in his life, letting people walk all over him because he cared too much about them. Eventually, he’d woken up, picked himself off the floor and simply decided to stop caring too much about others. He’d been doing well so far, taking up his dear friend Gaga’s advice to swear off men and stay mated with his career, but meeting adorable little Kris Allen made him change his mind about a few things.
“Yo, Lambert!”
A weathered pick-up truck-very similar to that of Kris’-pulled up in front of him. A haggard-looking Cale stuck his head out the window, signalling Adam to get in. Feeling a rush of adrenalin surge through his veins, the singer hopped into the vehicle, nodding a greeting to Cassidy.
“...I don’t know what to say, Adam,” the pixie-like man sighed. “It just doesn’t seem like Kris to do something so stupid. Do you have any clues as to where he might have gone?”
“None, I’m afraid,” Adam rubbed his temples wearily. “If he left footprints, the snow would have covered them up by now. Fuck, I shouldn’t have lingered in the shower.”
“It’s not your fault, man,” Cale said firmly. “You couldn’t have known that the kid was going to march out unarmed. If we are to think logically, I think he went into the forest. The kid is a bit of a starry-eyed wanderer; he has the tendency to just go off on his own when he’s pondering something.”
“...crap,” Adam buried his face in his hands. “If that was the very reason he went out for a walk, it’s totally my fault. I should have just talked to him about the sex and where we stand and all that jazz; instead, i chose to skirt around like a scared little thing and-”
“Adam, sweetie, hush,” Cassidy interrupted him. “Instead of blabbering about blaming yourself, you should concentrate on finding Kris. Since Cale knows him best and has the best possible idea right now, we’re going to head to the forest and try to find him. Hopefully, he hasn’t gotten too far. Just in case we don’t find him, I already put in a call to the local sheriff. He has a search team at the ready-all we have to do is tell them where we’re going to start searching.”
“You should call them now, babe,” Cale suggested. “We don’t know these woods, and we could really use a lot of extra hands and sniffer dogs given the circumstances.”
“I will,” Cassidy agreed, pulling his cellphone out of his pocket. “Hopefully, they can get out of town as fast as we did. It’s going to be pretty hard to drive in this snow once it starts piling up.”
The location of Adam’s cabin was pretty much on the outskirts of town, but it was still a thirty-minute walk away from the forest itself. Driving would get them there faster, and the rockstar didn’t want to spare another moment waiting. The longer they stalled, the harder it would be to find Kris.
“Keep calm, Adam,” Cale ordered gently, as if reading his thoughts. “If you flip out now, we’re going to have two problems to deal with instead of one. Stay calm, okay? Do it for the little guy.”
Afraid that words would betray him, Adam simply nodded and pressed his forehead against the cool glass. It was almost unbearable for him to watch the white specks hit the ground, knowing full well that Kris was out there, cold and alone.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Kris was scared. For as long as he could remember, he’d been lying on his back in the snow, watching the flakes hit the ground in copious amounts.
Really, it had been idiotic of him to take a walk with a snowstorm on his tail.
The thing with Kris was that he tended to lose his focus when he was lost in a world of his own thoughts. He had been so absorbed in the whole Adam situation that he failed to notice the uprooted protrusion from the side of a fairly large tree. He’d ended up tripping over it and getting an injured ankle as a bonus. There was no way he could ask for help since he’d left his phone at the cabin. His only hope of ever getting home was if Adam would notice his absence and come out looking for him.
“...I’m such an idiot,” he muttered to no one in particular.
Bearing with the searing pain in his ankle, Kris pulled himself upright into a sitting position, leaning heavily against the tree trunk after doing so. At this point, the cold was still bearable, but he knew a thing or two about hypothermia and how it’d take to set in. It would be an honest-to-goodness miracle if someone managed to find him in time, but if he wanted to live, he’d have to crawl out of the woods on his own.
Adam Lambert.
Even when he was lost and injured in the middle of who-knew-where, the glam rocker was all Kris could think about. It made him feel stupid to realize that he was more than just a little bit in love with Adam, who was amazing and famous-things Kris was far from being. He had no doubts about their friendship, but he was shit scared of the possibility that he could be the only one who wanted something more. Sure, Adam seemed cool despite the unprecedented sex, but he’d been a bit withdrawn all the same. Just earlier this morning, he’d holed up in the loft right after his shower, obviously not in the mood to have a conversation with Kris.
He should have known that they weren’t going to work out right from the start.
Deliberately pushing all thoughts of Adam from his head, Kris used an overhanging tree branch to pull himself to a standing position, groaning at how much it hurt just to put a wee bit of pressure on his bad leg. With the condition he was in, he wasn’t going to be able to get far without support. Dejected, he allowed himself to slump down into a sitting position once more, feeling every bit the idiot.
In a snowstorm like this, all he could do was pray and hang on.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“He went in there?” Adam was incredulous. “There are all sorts of things in that forest! What if the munchies have already gotten to Kris?”
“Calm down, Mister Lambert,” the sheriff-Sheriff Duncan, his badge said---put a hand on his shoulder. “There are no monsters in these woods, alright? Now, do you have anything of his that the bloodhounds can use to track Mister Allen’s scent?”
“His iPhone!” Adam exclaimed brightly, handing the gadget over to the sheriff. “I know it’s pretty uncharacteristic as an, uhm, tracking item, but it’s all I got right now.”
“That’ll do, thanks,” Sheriff Duncan nodded, moving towards the town’s version of a K9 unit. “Get ready, gentlemen; we’re going in now.”
“Try not to feed yourself to the munchies, Lambert,” Cale said with a wry grin. “I might see you in its belly when shorty finds out I let it eat you.”
“Normally, I’d be laughing or pulling faces at such a bad joke,” Adam grumbled, shoving his hands into his coat pocket as he trudged along behind the K9 unit. “I’m just really worried about Kris.”
“We know, darling,” Cassidy put an arm around his waist. “But just worrying about him won’t help the situation anymore. To be able to help out the best way you can, you have to be focused and positive. Everyone needs to be in the best physical and mental condition possible to keep the morale up.”
“That’s my baby,” Cale said proudly. “Cassidy Haley doesn’t dabble in negativity.”
Adam chose to say nothing for the rest of the search session. Instead, he kept himself on the lookout for any sign of Kris, hoping the guy hadn’t gotten himself lost or hurt. It was tempting to run straight into the woods yelling Kris’ name, but he remembered Cale’s warning and figured that everything would just hurtle downhill if he’d get himself lost as well. Since he’d grown up along the coasts of sunny California, Adam had never been one to take to the cold. He’d spent a lot of time up here in Montana, and he knew how harsh the winters here could be. Kris, unfortunately, had not been armed with that knowledge.
“Sheriff, have the dogs picked up anything?” he asked warily. “It seems that we’ve been walking for quite some time now, and this isn’t doing my anxiety levels any good.”
“They’ve certainly gotten a whiff of something, Mister Lambert,” Sheriff Duncan responded. “When they get it spot on, they’re going to make a run for it. We’ve got to be careful, though-the forest lake might have just iced over, so we’ll have to go around it.”
“Hopefully, he didn’t get that far,” Cale muttered. “I am hoping and praying that he’s just sitting somewhere and not walking around like a little lost puppy.”
“Cale, please don’t add to the scare factor,” Adam said wearily. “You do know that I have an overly active imagination that is capable of conjuring up all sorts of things, yes?”
“Okay, I’ll be quiet,” Cale promised. “It’s just that Kris means as much to me as he does to you-in a completely different way, though. We’ve been best friends since he was the size of a Yorkshire Terrier, and I’d always have to help him out because he had a penchant for getting into trouble.”
“I know what you mean, buddy,” Adam threw an arm around Cale’s shoulder. “Cass is right; we’re going to find him. When we do, we are going to kill him-”
He was interrupted by a loud bark from one of the team’s dogs, meaning full well that it made a new discovery. Adam froze for a moment, and then dashed after the dog and the officer, excited and anxious at the prospect of finally locating Kris.
“We’re close!” the officer told him excitedly. “Bowser doesn’t get this excited unless he’s sure.”
“Jesus, I’m going to owe my happiness to a dog named after a Super Mario Brothers villain,” Adam replied with a breathless chuckle. “Wait, I think I see him. Over there, at the foot of that tree!”
Kris was curled up at the foot of the tree, his right leg sticking out at an odd angle. His eyes were shut tight, as if in pain. Concerned, Adam crouched down at his side, smoothing a hand over Kris’ brow.
“Baby?” he asked softly. “It’s me, Adam. Come on, open your eyes...”
“...Adam?” Kris asked groggily, squinting at him. “Am I...am I dreaming?”
“No, baby,” Adam smiled, pressing a kiss to Kris’ forehead. “I’m really here; you don’t need to worry now.”
“I’m sorry if I worried you,” Kris managed to muster. “I just thought I’d go out for a walk...”
“You did a very stupid thing, you idiot,” Adam sighed. “Cale, Cass and I were worried sick about you. I was so scared that I wouldn’t see you again.”
“He’s hurt his ankle,” the officer reported. “I’ll alert the paramedics now.”
“I’m tired,” Kris sighed, burying his nose into Adam’s shirt. “My foot hurts so bad.”
“Rest, baby,” Adam looped an arm around him. “We’ll talk when you wake up.”