SHOW A LITTLE MORE (AND A LITTLE LESS) (Part Three of Three)
SHOW A LITTLE MORE (AND A LITTLE LESS)
Author: lady_michaelis , Artist: creativmind1281 , Beta: eirana_regan
Pairing: Adam Lambert/Kris Allen
Rating: R
Genre: AU - romance, erotica
Word Count: 23,570
Warnings: Sexual situations, cross dressing, language, potentially triggering references to homophobia
Summary: For Kris, it has always a never-ending battle between the consequences of fear and the temptations of desire. The only way to forge a path to freedom is to slip on a sequined dress.
Disclaimers: Not mine, not yours, not ours, not theirs.
Notes: Inspired by Burlesque and the lovely Raja herself. As I like to say, any excuse to put Kris in a dress is a good one. Be warned that the majority of this fic discuss the dilemma of homophobia; I hope the characters put things into perspective for those who, to this day, cannot accept our gay, lesbian and transgender friends.
Thursday morning found Kris naked and half-asleep in a large bed of black satin sheets, the warm weight of Adam’s arm a welcome presence on his bare skin. Sighing happily, he nosed his way under the covers, rubbing his cheek against the skin of Adam’s chest. As soon as they had made it past the doorman of Adam’s condominium-one of the ritzier buildings in town-they made a beeline for the dining room where Kris squirmed and sighed as Adam licked chocolate syrup off his skin. It led to another two rounds of lovemaking and a bonus in the shower because Adam wasn’t staining his hundred-thread count satin sheets with something as unworthy as Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup.
It had never really occurred to him that he would wind up in Adam Lambert’s bed after ruining one of his many designer suits (Kris had gone on a field trip in his closet in the wee hours of the morning).
“You were muttering in your sleep,” Adam said, curling a hand around his hip.
“…mmmhh?” Kris burrowed his face into his chest in response.
“Something about having chicken for breakfast,” Adam said sleepily. “We can order in from that bloody Chick-Fil-A place down the street when I feel like talking on the phone.”
“Yay,” Kris mumbled into his chest, absently petting the hair there. “I like chicken.”
“You should probably call your friends back, too,” Adam continued. “Your phone has about six or seven missed calls and a barrage of text messages.”
“…fuck!” Kris shot up to sit back on his knees. “I forgot to tell Tommy that I was-I was…”
“That you wouldn’t be coming home for the next twelve hours because you spent so much time naked in Adam Lambert’s bed? I pray they believe you.”
Kris grabbed his iPhone from the table and stared glumly at the screen-Tommy, Sutan, Brad, Cook, Cassidy, and some of his other friends. How was he supposed to explain himself to them?
“Do you mind if I phone in for a rain check?”
“No problem.” Adam dropped a kiss on his forehead before getting to his feet gracefully. “I’ll be on the phone in the hall with someone from Chick-Fil-A; yell out your order when you’re done.”
Kris sighed dreamily as he watched Adam pad out into the hall completely naked, envious at how he was completely and utterly comfortable in his own freckled galaxy of skin. Shaking himself out of his stupor, he threw himself back onto the sheets and hit speed dial.
“What the fuck, Kris Allen?” Brad picked up after the first ring. “In case you haven’t noticed, your phone is full of messages and missed calls from people that love you. What the fuck have you been doing? Where the fuck are you? We are all worried sick here and-”
“I was having sex,” Kris interrupted him.
“You promised us you were going to come home at-wait, sex? As in the kind of sex where you spread your legs for some hot guy and let him slide his cock into your ass?”
“Yes, that kind of sex,” Kris muttered. “I’m…I’m at-well, I’m at Adam Lambert’s.”
The girly squeal of glee that erupted from the other end of the line assured Kris that he wasn’t going to get killed-by Brad, at least.
“Oh my god. Oh my fucking god. Oh my god. How’d it go, baby? Was it good? Was he good?”
Kris blinked. “…you’re not even going to ask me how it happened?”
“Please; the important things come first on my priority list,” Brad said dismissively. “Now that I know you’re alive and well, I’m going to ask you really personal questions that are relevant to my interests.”
“I’m going to make this quick because I have to call Tommy and Sutan,” Kris replied. “But, uhm, yeah…it was good-really great, in fact. The countertop sex was insane, but once we got to the bed, he was really sweet and gentle. Oh my god, Brad; I think we did it…four times?”
“No wonder you’re still stuck there!” Brad said with a giggle. “You are coming home tonight, right? I’m going to order a cake from the local bakery, pretend I baked it, and we can have some gay boy time while you tell me everything in excruciatingly detailed detail.”
“I miss you already,” Kris said wistfully. “I’ll see you after lunch, maybe; I’m sure Adam has work to do. Heck, I don’t even know what his plans for today are.”
“Well, call me if you need someone to pick you up,” Brad offered. “But yeah, you should really call Tommy now; I think he busted a hole in the wall out of anger last night.”
“Crap,” Kris groaned. “I’ll get back to you if either of them will let me off the hook.”
It was a good thing that he had decided to call Sutan first, as he didn’t have the heart to give Kris a hard time even though what he did was admittedly idiotic. Tommy, on the other hand, spent a good minute or two yelling at him before telling him how he had scared the shit out of them and that he would never be allowed to close up the club again.
“And if that Lambert creature fucking breaks your heart, I’m going to run his clothes through a shredder,” Tommy growled. “He hasn’t been a bastard to you, has he?”
“He’s actually being very kind to me right now,” Kris replied. “Do you know that he’s out in the hall looking for Chick-Fil-A’s number in the yellow pages just so I can have chicken for breakfast?”
“Well, that’s quite considerate,” Tommy remarked. “He looks like the type who has never let the soles of his boots touch the floors of a fast food restaurant before. If he’s willing to eat Chick-Fil-A with you, then I won’t stand in your way…for now, at least. If he makes you cry or makes you uncomfortable with the issues you’re facing, you know the drill. Call. Me.”
“I will,” Kris promised. “Thanks, Tommy; I swear on the Super Mario brothers that I will be home by this afternoon. Brad’s picking me up, so you don’t need to worry too much.”
He ended the call and wrapped the sheets around his shoulders, stepping out into the hallway to see what his host was up to. Adam was sitting cross-legged on a plush divan, the phone book on his lap covering the bits Kris had gotten quite acquainted with earlier that day.
“Help an idiot out here, won’t you, sweetie?” Adam beckoned to him. “I have never eaten anything from here in my life, so I’m stumped at what to order.”
Kris giggled and went to curl up next to him, sighing happily when Adam looped an arm around his shoulder. He gently pried the cordless phone from Adam’s hand and issued an order for two chicken burger meals before handing it back so Adam could deal with the delivery details.
“They don’t have a very big menu,” he said with a shrug. “It’s called Chick-Fil-A for a reason; they specialize in the unhealthy preparation of chicken.”
“And to think you don’t seem to be gaining any weight despite all the calories you’re wolfing down,” Adam sighed dramatically. “I wish all of us could be that lucky.”
“Dude, there’s nothing wrong with the way you look,” Kris frowned. “I wish I could have even a fourth of the confidence you exude when you’re out there in the real world.”
“Well, I think you have a quiet confidence of your own deep inside,” Adam said. “The Kris who went to bed with me this morning? He was so unselfconscious. He knows he is sexy. Honey, you shouldn’t hide him beneath all the layers of fear you’ve built one on top of the other; when you let yourself relax, you’re a delightful companion. That was the best sex I’ve had in…in months.”
“I don’t know,” Kris shook his head. “I think it’s your fault, honestly. When I’m with you, I feel that I’m in control of my own emotions. I don’t feel like having to build the wall of Jerusalem around myself because I know you prefer the uninhibited part of me that isn’t afraid of his past.”
“That’s the real you, Kris.” Adam was insistent. “I understand that you’re afraid of being a little more open about your sexuality because of what happened in the past, but you’re not going to make any progress if you keep allowing your past to dictate your present. If I am the one who brings out the wilder, happier man in you, then so be it. I’m willing to help you out, Kris, but you have to be willing to help yourself.”
“That’s…that’s too much, Adam!” Kris protested. “You have other more important things to do, I’m sure. I mean, you have such a demanding job description; you don’t need to add to it.”
“Kris, there are things that I do because I need to do them,” he said patiently. “But more importantly, there are thing that I do because I want to do them. I want to be here for you, Kris. The fact that you allowed yourself to open up to me and even sleep with me as you are means that you are progressing. If anything, at least we proved that your sexual drive is normal-okay, perhaps a bit above average in that department-and you’re not going to run away from every man that tries to pursue you.”
“I guess,” Kris sighed. “That’s better than nothing, right?”
“Yes,” Adam beamed at him, reaching out to ruffle his hair. “Yes of course.”
“Tommy was right,” Kris said, laughing softly. “He was the one person who said you might actually be good for me. He said I needed a push in the right direction, and it looks like you’re the one doing that. Of course, I wasn’t expecting things to go in reverse order.”
“I was drunk,” Adam apologized. “If I wasn’t, I can assure you that I wouldn’t have fucked you.”
“And none of this would have happened, so I say it was a good thing you chose to crash in at closing,” Kris giggled. “Everything happens for a reason, I bet. I don’t think the universe ever puts two people in the same room together unless they’re going to have a major impact on each other’s lives.”
“You know, you are a very smart little woodland creature,” Adam beamed at him. “I think I’m going to enjoy my stay in your universe, Kris Allen.”
“What role are you going to play in it, though?” Kris wanted to know. “Are you going to be my friend, mentor, fuck buddy, boyfriend, landlord or something else?”
“How about I pencil in a date for next week, and we’ll see how it goes from there?”
Kris nodded. That sounded like a good idea to him, too.
“It seems like you’ve gotten yourself an admirer, baby doll.” Sutan set a bouquet of calla lilies down on Kris’ dressing table. “Adam has been stopping by more often than he usually does. I’ve known him for years, and he’s never been so enamored by one of my adopted children before. Don’t tell me that one night you spent in his care changed everything this quickly.”
“I’d be lying if I said it didn’t,” Kris said with a wry smile. “He has been very kind to me, Sutan. I don’t feel the urge to put on a dress and a wig whenever we meet outside of work. Actually, I think that’s the reason why he has been stopping by more often-he told me he would not come to see me here if I continued to hide behind Krista each time I got uncomfortable. So far, it’s been easy for me to act in my own consciousness within the walls of this bar, but that’s because most of the patrons are really nice. I don’t think I’d fare as well around more prejudiced people.”
“Still, I’d say Adam has a bit of a thing for you,” Sutan said with a wink. “How many times have you been spending the night with him, anyway?”
“Well, I have dinner with him about twice a week.” Kris was blushing a bright cherry red. “Sometimes, I stay over, but we don’t always have sex. He takes me out at times, but he’s okay with us just staying at his place to talk. I have no idea what we are, but it’s nice to have a friend like him.”
Sutan snorted. “Friend my ass. He likes you, pet. It shows. Do you have any idea how much flowers and chocolates I’ve been asking Cassidy to send up here? They’re all from Adam, kiddo.”
“I just don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship, though,” Kris confessed, stroking one of the petals with his fingers. “I don’t think I can give myself utterly and completely to someone else if I’m still not sure of who I am. I like Adam a lot, but I don’t want to jump into anything that might destroy our friendship.”
“If he’s really the one meant for you, he’ll wait,” Sutan assured him. “In the meantime, don’t worry too much about what the future holds; enjoy the present. If you’re having the time of your life right now, then live in it. Indulge yourself once in awhile, honey. It’s not a sin.”
“I guess I should,” Kris said softly. “And, uhm, can I ask you something?”
“Sure, baby,” Sutan replied. “Ask away.”
Kris drew in a breath. “…do any of your queens ever leave? Like, you know, go out there into the real world and try their hand at other things?”
“Some have, yes,” Sutan answered. “There are some boys that only come here because they need help finding themselves. My doors are always open to folks like that because drag can be a very empowering thing. When they think they’re ready to go, I let them-those moments are some of my proudest. I may not be a licensed therapist or anything of that sort, but I’m glad I have been able to help some people in my own little way. You know, Kris, you have a lot going for you. You’re a brave little man; you’re on your way to overcoming a part of your past that is so dark and dreary. I am so proud of you.”
Kris stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Sutan’s waist, burying his face into his shoulder. Sutan wound his arms around Kris’ slighter frame and pressed a kiss to his forehead.
“It won’t be long until you spread your wings and leave the nest, baby.”
“But I don’t want to leave you,” Kris protested. “I’m where I am now because of you guys; I can’t just walk away because I need to.”
“Baby, you will walk out of here because you can.” Sutan tightened his embrace. “And when that day finally comes, I will watch you walk out that door hand-in-hand with Adam. It will be monumental for him as well because it means you are finally ready to fall in love and give yourself completely to him.”
“I’ll take those words to heart, then,” Kris said warmly. “Thank you, Sutan.”
“You’re very welcome,” Sutan replied. “Now, get back out there, Krista.”
“Aye aye, sir,” Kris giggled, slipping on his heels before giving himself one last do-over in the mirror. “I can’t keep Mister Lambert waiting now, can I?”
He made his way to the corner booth Adam liked to stay in and seated himself across the actor, who was looking radiant in one of his less-than-fifty-grand suits. Laughing softly, he allowed Adam to take his hand and lift it to his lips, his cheeks heating up with the gesture.
“Did you get the flowers?” Adam asked. “I had Sutan take them to the dressing room.”
“I did, thank you,” Kris replied. “You could have just given them to me now.”
“Oh, you know me,” Adam said with a dismissive wave of his hand. “I enjoy exhibiting my stalkerish tendencies when I can. Besides, it’s hilarious to see the irritation on the old lady’s face when I complain about her flower arrangements-serves her right for introducing her cat to my precious YSL shoes. Anyway, I come bearing wonderful news. You’re off tomorrow, yes?”
“As usual, yes,” Kris replied. “You want me to keep you company in the production room again?”
“That and I want you to hold my hand when they tell me that I’m up for my very first Academy Award,” Adam said with a nervous chuckle. “I wasn’t supposed to find out until tomorrow, but Chris-Nolan-just couldn’t wait to spring the surprise on me; he knows how hard I’ve worked on this movie.”
“Adam, that’s…that’s amazing,” Kris breathed, reaching out to grab his hands. “I’m so proud of you! Of course I’m going to accompany you to the set tomorrow-even if we’re both going to end up feigning surprise at the good news. I’m not much of an actor, so you’re going to have to help me out.”
Adam laughed. “We’ll deal with that tomorrow. Today, I want to celebrate-just you and me, baby. I asked Sutan if you could have the day off earlier this morning because I have something special planned for us today. However, you might want to get out of that costume.”
“I’m on it,” Kris promised, pressing a quick kiss to Adam’s mouth. “I’ll be ready in ten.”
“Knowing you, you’ll make it.” Adam winked. “Someday, you’ll make it to thirty and I’ll be the proudest man in the state!”
Laughing, Kris leaned in to steal one more kiss before heading back to the dressing room, already in the process of toeing off his heels and pulling off his wig.
“Big day today, hmmm?” Tommy drawled. “Lambert looks uncharacteristically pleasant.”
“Oh, shut up, Tommy,” Kris giggled. “Adam received word that he’s up for his first Oscar today; you can’t blame him for being all giddy.”
“Which means he’ll be walking the red carpet this year,” Tommy remarked. “Interesting.”
Kris frowned. “…why are you looking at me like that? You only look at people like that when you’re trying to point out the obvious.”
“Which is exactly what I am doing,” Tommy replied. “Think about it, mate. Your man is nominated; a nomination means a walk on the red carpet. And what does a nominee usually bring? A date. He hasn’t asked you to be his boyfriend or his wife or the queen of his palace, but as of now, you’re the only one he’s seriously dating. Kris, I’m not saying is going to happen for real, but there are huge chances that he will ask if you want to walk the red carpet with him. This means public appearances, Kris. He’s an actor.”
“…that didn’t occur to me,” Kris said dumbly. “That didn’t occur to me at all.”
“Look, forget I said anything.” Tommy pressed a quick kiss to the top of his head. “He’s been so good to you and he’s aware of the kind of things you’re afraid of-chances are, he might not even bring it up. I don’t know what will make you feel better in this case, but don’t dwell on it too much. He obviously went out of his way to leave work so you two can spend time together. Just have fun.”
“Okay,” Kris agreed. “Thanks, Tommy.”
He hurried back into the dressing room to change out of his dress and wash his face. As soon as his hair stopped being ridiculous-the wig always did awful things to it-he rushed back out to Adam, who made a face at the flat mop resting on the crown of Kris’ head.
“I have some product in the car,” he said, offering his arm gallantly. “You know I love you when you’ve just woken up in the morning, but for a day out, this simply will not do.”
“You’re not going to turn my hair green, are you?” Kris asked warily as Adam opened the passenger door for him. “I’ve seen what you have in your bathroom; not all of them look safe.”
“Trust me, it’s just hairspray,” Adam replied. “It’s right there in the glove compartment.”
Still suspicious, Kris unlocked the said compartment and pulled out a harmless-looking bottle of Vidal Sassoon hairspray. It was…well, red and metallic, but otherwise normal.
“So, has it convinced you of its normality yet?” Adam asked cheerfully as he settled into the driver’s seat. “You’re still looking at it like it’s going to eat you.”
Kris scowled. “Adam Lambert, you know I have been product-free for all my life until I decided to do drag. Now, if you would stop scaring me, I will let you put some in my hair.”
“Alright, alright,” Adam laughed. “Lean in a little-there you go.”
Kris squirmed as he felt Adam rake his hands through his hair, making it stick up every which way. Finally, he made a satisfied noise and pressed a kiss to Kris’ forehead.
“All done, beautiful. Now, we are ready to get this show on the road!”
“Where exactly are we going?” Kris asked.
“We’re going to have an overnight holiday,” Adam explained. “I booked us a villa at Terranea Resorts. We’ll have the whole night for spa treatments, swimming, cuddling in our luxurious king-sized bed, whatever floats your boat.”
Kris shook his head. “You’re amazing, Adam. I think I love you.”
“I know I love you,” Adam grinned in response. “It’ll be great, babe.”
“…seriously?” Kris gripped his arm. “Because I’ve never told you how I felt about you before. That was so spur-of-the-moment, and I didn’t know what I was saying. Oh god, please tell me you meant that and that you aren’t mad! Because I won’t know what to do if you are and-mmph!”
Adam chose to press a hard, rough kiss to his lips, all teeth and tongue. “I meant it.”
“…okay,” Kris breathed, moving back into his seat. “I got that.”
Adam smirked. “Do you need another reminder?”
Kris batted his lashes. “I already forgot what your mouth tastes like.”
Adam moved to lean over the console. “Bite me when the light turns green.”
Kris moaned loudly as he felt Adam press into him from behind. He forgot whose brilliant idea it was to fuck in a steam room (it was amazing how they couldn’t get facts straight between the two of them sometimes), but the steam and the fog just made every a million times hotter. Somehow, Adam had managed to conjure a condom and a packet of lube from the pockets of his robe, and things had gotten messy from there.
“Oh gosh, yes!” he cried. “Fuck me, baby-fuck me hard.”
“Slut,” Adam murmured in his ear as he reached around to jerk Kris’ cock in time with his thrusts. “You love it when I call you that, don’t know? That’s because you are a slut, Kristopher; you’re my fucking slut and you’ll do exactly as I say.”
“Fuck, yes!” Kris hissed. “I’ll do whatever you want, baby; just keep fucking me like this.”
He spread his legs wider and pushed back against Adam, tightening the grip of his sphincter muscles around Adam’s cock. This was something Kris couldn’t deny; he loved having sex with Adam. There was just something about being held down while being penetrated that made him feel ridiculously complete. Now that he had the luxury of getting it whenever he wanted it, he had become a bit of a slut. They were in what people called the honeymoon stage of their relationship, so Adam bending him over the nearest available surface had become a staple in some of their more passionate dates. Adam had even taken the liberty of filming some of their encounters for future reference; Kris always ended up hot and bothered whenever he watched one of their tapes.
“Love your cock,” he moaned. “It’s so huge and hot and it’s filling me completely. Do me harder, Adam; make sure I know who I belong to.”
“I love it when you let loose like that,” Adam breathed, steadily pumping in and out of Kris’ body. “You’re so sexy, baby-you don’t even know how perfect you are for me.”
Kris threw his head back, trying in vain to bite back a loud moan as he came into Adam’s loosely clenched fist. He tipped his head on Adam’s shoulder and buried his face into his neck, letting Adam bear his weight as he fucked Kris into his own orgasm. Laughing, Adam withdrew his softening cock from Kris’ ass and wrapped a towel around him before helped him out of the steam room.
“Can you walk?” he asked teasingly. “You did ask for a hard fucking, after all.”
“I’ll manage,” Kris said dryly, pushing open the glass door that led to the shower. “I’m just so glad this villa has everything; we don’t need to embarrass ourselves elsewhere.”
“Please; you get off on the idea of being watched,” Adam scoffed. “This is exactly why you were so enthusiastic when I fucked you in Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s trailer; he could have walked in anytime. Heck, you even let me fuck you in the bedroom we use on set.”
Kris rolled his eyes. “Is it my problem if you make me horny all the time? Maybe if you stopped walking around with your dick hanging out of your pants, I wouldn’t think about sucking it all the time.”
“For your information, my pants are just tight,” Adam said with a grin, rubbing his cock in the crease between Kris’ ass cheeks. “If you’ve got the goods, why not flaunt them, right?”
“You are so obnoxious,” Kris giggled, rising up on his tiptoes to lather the shampoo into Adam’s hair. “Just because you have a huge dick doesn’t mean you’re a special snowflake.”
“But only the glambulge can satisfy you,” Adam smirked. “Anything less would never be able to bring you to the heights of multiple orgasm bliss.”
“Why am I even dating you?” Kris put his hands on his hips and glared mockingly at him.
“Because I get you,” Adam said softly, pressing a kiss to his pouting lips. “I’m the only one who will.”
Kris sighed happily and relaxed into his embrace, letting the warm water wash away the remnants of their lovemaking. He was so lucky to have such an amazing, understanding partner who put up with him despite all his fears and insecurities. Sutan often told him that not all gay men-especially the lonely hearts club type that sought his counseling services-had the chance to get into a relationship like this.
“Babe?” Adam asked quietly. “There’s something I need to tell you-well, it’s more of something I need to ask you, actually. It’s…it’s really kind of important.”
“I’m listening,” Kris replied, knowing full well what Adam was going to ask of him.
“It’s about the red carpet at the Oscar’s.” Adam was rubbing soothing circles across the damp skin of his back. “There’s no date yet, but I’m planning to go with my Mom, Dani or one of my other friends. I know how you feel about making public appearances, so I’m not going to be selfish and ask-”
Kris stiffened against him and moved away, suddenly cold. He couldn’t believe Adam had said that right after saying that he understood Kris; this wasn’t what he had been expecting at all.
“…it didn’t even occur to you to ask me,” he said disbelievingly. “You just assumed I wasn’t ready to go out there and face the press because it means the whole world is going to know who I am. Well, guess what? You’re right; I’m not ready-I don’t think I will be for awhile. But it would have been nice of you to at least ask if I wanted to come with you. I’ve always been second place in other people’s lives, Adam. I don’t want to be that way with you, too.”
“Oh, sweetheart,” Adam murmured, reaching out for him. “Come here.”
Kris looked up at Adam from under his lashes, afraid to take the first step. Adam heaved a sigh and moved to wrap his arms around Kris, tucking him safely in the crook of his neck.
“You know I want to walk that carpet with you more than anything,” he said fiercely. “There is nothing I want more than to walk up to a journalist and say, ‘This is my man’; trust me, winning the Oscar will not even compare to being able to share that night with you. But you have to remember that lots of people watch the Oscars, baby-those you left behind tune in as well, I’m sure. If they see you with me, they’re going to start talking. To tell you the truth, I was thinking of asking Krista to be my date, but I don’t think that’s going to work all that well, either. I’m willing to wait until you’re ready, Kris. I don’t care how long it takes; I’m never going to force you into anything that will make you feel uncomfortable.”
“That’s so unfair to you, though,” Kris whispered. “I don’t want to be your burden forever; you don’t deserve to be weighed down by my issues.”
“Honey, I don’t see things that way,” Adam assured him. “I have issues of my own, too. I’m the world’s most histrionic creature and I get so fucking cranky when things don’t go my way. Honestly, you’re a hero for being able to put up with all my madness; no one who isn’t my mother ever stuck around this long to try and deal me. I’ve had a string of the most worthless relationships ever, so I know a keeper when I meet one. Kris, you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’m not going to lose you over something as small as this-all I want is for you to trust me.”
Kris locked his arms around Adam’s torso. “I love you. So, so much.”
“I love you, too.” Adam pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “And I’m sure, deep down inside, your family and your old friends still do. It’s just going to be a matter of time, baby; people can’t hate each other forever-it would kill us all if we did.”
“And we should hurry along with this shower,” Kris said. “Because I am hungry, and I know you will take about an extra half an hour to get dressed.”
“Psssshh, you exaggerate!” Adam scoffed. “I can get ready in like, fifteen minutes tops!”
“You lie,” Kris grinned, flicking some water at Adam’s face. “You’ll run around throwing clothes around the room, taking them on and off and asking me which I like best. In the end, you’re going to walk out wearing the first outfit you tried on. I know you, Lambert; I have been sort of living with you for awhile now.”
And of course, Kris was right.
“So, who did he decide to go with in the end?” Brad asked.
“No one,” Kris sighed, poking glumly at his soggy fries. “He thought it would make me feel worse if I went with someone else, so he decided to fly solo. And where am I on my boyfriend’s big night? Stuffing myself with fries at home while waiting for him to grace the red carpet on television. I suck.”
He had just returned to his apartment from a rather uncomfortable afternoon at Adam’s. Adam had insisted he stay to help him get ready-though he mostly watched and dropped a few comments here and there when asked for his opinion-so he remained there until the limo had arrived to pick up Adam. Kris had tried to convince him that it was perfectly alright for him to bring Leila or Danielle, but Adam, ever the gentleman, said he did not wish to upset Kris any further by having someone else take his place. They had shared a nice, lingering kiss at the doorway, but the sadness in Adam’s eyes did not go unnoticed. Kris knew that he had put it there, and it made him feel worse than ever.
The thing with Brad was that he was so spot-on; he could tell when someone was having a hard time. Fortunately, this radar worked best when it came to Kris, who had been groveling and sighing for nearly a month since his holiday with Adam.
“You look troubled.”
“Of course you noticed,” Kris sighed. “Which is really quite convenient because I was going to ask for your help, anyway. This is really important; it could change the entire dynamic of my relationship with Adam.”
“He asked you, right?” Tommy narrowed his eyes. “Or he assumed you wouldn’t want to go, so he went on ahead and asked someone else to go with him because he thought it would be selfish of him to ask you. Man, that guy is becoming predictable.”
“You hit it right on the nail,” Kris replied. “Anyway, I freaked out a little about it because it would have been nice if he asked me first, and because he’s just that amazing, he said he didn’t ask because it would merit a public appearance-and you know what a public appearance with an actor would do to me. It would defeat my purpose of escaping to LA to hide.”
“Is that what you still want, though?” Brad asked. “Or you’re starting to re-think everything because you feel like you owe him your bravery.”
“That’s what I’ve been thinking about all week,” Kris mumbled. “He’s been so wonderful to me; I think it’s about time that I give something back. He said that nothing would make him happier than to have me at his side on his big day, but I don’t know if I can do it. The press will be everywhere; I’m going to have to answer all sorts of questions about him, myself and us. I’m so scared that I’m going to end up doing or saying something that will put his career in jeopardy.”
Sutan sighed. “The thing with you boys is that you are both such martyrs. You would much rather suffer alone in fear of hurting the other. Adam has always been that kind of boy; I do wish he would allow himself to be selfish sometimes. I always tell him he won’t go anywhere if he always denies his heart what it wants, but he comes up with some ridiculous excuse to push things away. He’s the kind of boy who would rather back down when things are starting to look up in fear of destroying that happiness. He’s scared, Kris; I think he’s far more terrified of this than you are.”
“I-I don’t understand.” Kris shook his head. “Why would he be so scared?”
“Because he loves you,” Tommy said simply. “He loves you more than anything.”
Kris felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest. This was all so new to him because he had never felt so loved before. A long time ago, when he still got along with his parents, his mama used to tell him about how different the love of a lover was from that of a parent for a friend. Kris knew this, but he understood little of it-the couples in movies and book as well as those among his friends told him nothing of how it was to genuinely experience such love.
But now-with Adam-he knew.
To love someone was to want to wake up next to that person and dive in for a good morning kiss despite the morning breath. It was to have the desire to support that person during his times of trouble and celebrate with him during his high points. But most of all, loving someone meant being willing to make sacrifices and compromises because life no longer revolved around just one person. His life included Adam now, and he knew he was going to have to make adjustments to be able to accommodate him. What terrified him, however, was the intensity of the want to do those things for Adam.
“Baby, you need to stop going to war with yourself,” Brad said softly. “Just…give in to what you want, for once. Let your gut instinct dominate your reasoning. That’s the only way to set yourself free.”
Kris buried his face in his hands. “…I want to be with him in every way that I can. I don’t want to be the kind of lover eternally cowering in his embrace because I’m afraid to see how people look at me. I want to be the kind of boyfriend he deserves to have-someone brave and supportive enough to deal with insults and questions from prying eyes. I wish I had been brave enough to volunteer to be his date before he walked out that door.”
“There you go,” Tommy said proudly. “See? I told you Krista was always a part of Kris; the confidence you exude when you’re wearing a dress and high heels has always been inside of you. It’s not changing your identity, but embracing who you really are. Right now, you might be a little unsteady on your feet, but that’s alright. Someday, you’ll be able to put your past behind you, but that’s not what’s important right now. Why? Your present is Adam; he’s the most important person in your life right now.”
“I could kiss those words right out of your mouth, man,” Kris said with a rueful grin. “Thank you. I owe all of you so much because you never gave up on me.”
“You should give yourself credit, too,” Sutan beamed at him. “Because you never gave up on yourself.”
Kris felt like flying. He felt like rushing out into the streets to dance with a passing stranger just because he was so happy. Once upon a time, he had convinced himself that ‘happily ever after’ only existed for some people. Kris had never been the kind of kid who repeatedly dreamt of handsome princes on white horses; all he had ever wanted was love in its truest, rawest form.
And now that he had it, he swore he wouldn’t let go.
“…would it be too late if I left for the Oscars now?” he asked quietly. “I still have the suit he had custom-made for me as one of his random not-anniversary presents.”
Sutan lit up. “Oh my god, you’re really going, aren’t you? I think we can get you ready in thirty minutes tops. Knowing Adam, he’s going to be the last one on the red carpet because he’s going to get distracted by some silly thing he sees along the way, so we still have time. Take a quick, shower, get into that suit, and Brad and I will help you out with your hair and a bit of makeup.”
“I’ll drive you,” Tommy volunteered, looking thrilled at the prospect. “I fucking love beating traffic lights in LA; it’s therapeutic for me.”
“Please.” Brad rolled his eyes. “You drive like my grandma.”
Kris made a beeline for the bathroom, trying to finish as quickly as he could without coming out only to smell half-human and half-leftover possum. As soon as he had finished, Brad practically pulled the suit over his head, critically checking it for wrinkles and loose threads before proclaiming him ‘the loveliest cum bucket in LA’ and sending him to Sutan for hair and makeup.
“All done, golden boy,” Sutan said triumphantly, giving him one last do-over before helping him out on his suit jacket. Your man is going to be so surprised to see you.”
“Come on, Allen,” Tommy grinned, tossing a helmet in his direction. “I think my Harley Davidson will do a better job of taking you to the Oscars than any car ever will.”
“Am I going to survive this ride?” Kris moaned as Brad and Sutan escorted him down to the apartment lobby. “Tommy only got the bike two days ago.”
“Honey, he drives like my grandma,” Brad reminded him. “And I am still alive despite the numerous grocery trips I have gone on with her, so yes-you’ll make it in one piece.”
Kris bit his lip nervously as he settled himself in behind Tommy. Knowing his luck, he could very well fall off and die or something equally terrible.
“Hang tight, Cinderella,” Tommy advised, putting on his own helmet. “We’re going to go at the speed limit to make sure you make it to the ball in time.”
“Have fun, darling!” Brad blew him a kiss. “You’re going to slay Adam Lambert.”
“Shut it down, Kris Allen,” Sutan grinned. “You’re going to do just fine.”
Nodding his thanks, Kris lowered the helmet visor and wrapped his arms tightly around Tommy’s waist, making a little squeaking noise as Tommy pulled out of his parking space and into the main road.
“You alright there, Allen?” he asked loudly, zipping in between two cabs to beat the red light. “At normal speed, we’ll make it there in twenty-fifteen if I drive at breakneck speed and ten if I drive like I’m having the time of my life. Make your choice.”
“I think I can deal with twenty minutes on this thing!” Kris hollered. “I would be happier with much less, but if we make it ten, you might have to call an ambulance for me.”
Kris ended up spending most of the trip with his face tucked against Tommy’s shoulder, only looking up every few seconds so he could tell where they were. He loved Tommy to death and would be forever grateful for this ride, but he would probably pass on a second trip the next time Tommy offered.
Still, he almost wanted to stay glued to his seat as soon as they arrived at the Kodak.
“Here you are, Cinderella,” Tommy nudged him off. “Enjoy your night-I promise you Lambert’s Mustang won’t turn into a pumpkin at midnight. You’ll get your happy ending.”
“Wish me luck, Tommy,” Kris said softly. “I’m going to need it.”
With that, he handed the helmet back to Tommy and made his way to the arrival area, hoping Adam hadn’t made his appearance yet. It was filled to the brim with celebrities, handlers and security officers, making Kris wonder how on earth he would manage to find Adam in such a crowd.
“Are you alright?” a low, throaty voice from behind him asked. “You look a little lost.”
Kris turned and found himself face-to-face with Angelina Jolie, who looked resplendent in her strapless black gown. Escorting her, of course, was her longtime partner (and Kris’ boyhood crush), Brad Pitt. He was sure he spent a few seconds doing a fine imitation of a fish before Jolie took pity on him and put a hand on his shoulder.
“Don’t be so nervous,” she said, a small smile pulling at the corners of her lips. “I’ve never seen you around before, so I guess you’re one of those new kids on the block. Are you up for anything tonight?”
“Oh, no,” Kris shook his head. “I’m just here to support my boyfriend; he’s a Best Actor nominee. I’m sure you’ve run into or at least heard of Adam Lambert.”
“Of course you’re Adam’s boyfriend.” Pitt chuckled. “You’re pretty much the epitome of what we call The Adam Lambert Twink Mold; I’ve had a chance to work with him on a short film I produced once-the boy is mighty talented. I only had him onboard as a guest actor, but he outshone my main man by far. Anyway, if you’re looking for him, he’s just about to walk on. You can still catch up.”
“Thank you so much,” Kris babbled. “I hope you won’t mind me asking for an autograph later at the Vanity Fair afterparty!”
He turned on his heel and squeezed past a bunch of other celebrities, eyes on Adam and Adam alone. He was posing for a few photographers by the red carpet entrance, looking debonair in his own custom-made head-to-toe black tux.
“Adam!” he called out, unable to restrain himself.
The look on Adam’s face as he watched Kris approach him was priceless. All at once, the cameras turned to Kris, eager to document his arrival as the reporters whispered among themselves.
“…I changed my mind,” he said shyly. “I know it took me so long, and I am so sorry for that. I realized that I want to do this for you not just because you deserve a lover who supports you, but also because I want to, more than anything. Well, I’m here for you tonight, and I hope you let me stay.”
Adam pulled him into an embrace and squeezed him tightly, bold and uncaring despite the fact that the world was watching them at that very moment. It was no surprise to Kris that he didn’t care as much as he thought he would; Adam was holding him, and that was all that mattered.
“I feel like I’ve already won,” he whispered into Kris’ ear before releasing him.
“Well, this is a surprise even the Best Actor nominee himself didn’t expect!” Giuliana Rancic waved them over. “We haven’t seen Adam Lambert this surprised off-screen before. Adam, who is this fetching young man that decided to grace us with his presence tonight?”
Laughing, Adam turned to face the cameras. “Giuliana, I’d like you to meet my darling lover, Kris Allen. Can you believe I almost left him at home this evening?”
“Be sure to thank Brad and Angelina,” Kris drawled. “They helped me find you.”
“I guess I’ll offer to babysit the brood, then,” Adam chuckled. “I feel like I’m on cloud nine right now! Having Kris appear out of nowhere makes me feel like I can do anything.”
“Just how excited are you for your man tonight, Kris?” Rancic turned to him.
“Very much so,” Kris said with a grin. “I’ve been accompanying him to the set when he was assisting with post-production, and I was really impressed with the fragments of what I managed to catch. I have to say, I didn’t get to see Lies, Lies, Lies on the big screen until a second week after its box office premiere. Adam was sick with the flu on the premiere day, so we had to stay home.”
“It’s a shame, or else we would have found out Adam was hiding you from us much earlier,” Rancic laughed. “Congratulations again on the nomination, Adam. Enjoy the show, both of you.”
“We’ll see you at the afterparty, Giuliana,” Adam replied, reaching out to take Kris’ hand. “We still have quite a long way to go.”
“So, how was I?” Kris asked him as they stopped to pose for more photos.
“I couldn’t have handled it better myself.” Adam pressed a kiss to Kris’ nose. “Well done, my love. I can never thank you enough for being here tonight.”
“I can never thank you enough for loving me.” Kris pushed up on his tiptoes to kiss him.
As they finally entered the Kodak Theater hand-in-hand, Kris realized that it was time to bid farewell to his life at The Red Room. He thought of Krista, her sequined dresses and her high heels, and how it would hurt a little to say goodbye to her, an essential part of who he had been. It was time, though; she had done everything she could possibly do for him, and it was time to move on with his life. The warm weight of Adam’s hand in his served as a reminder that no matter what could happen, no matter what would happen, he would never have to walk alone again.
“Remember your name.
Do not lose hope-what you seek will be found.
Trust ghosts. Trust those that you have helped to help you in their turn.
Trust dreams.
Trust your heart, and trust your story.”
- Neil Gaiman
Author: lady_michaelis , Artist: creativmind1281 , Beta: eirana_regan
Pairing: Adam Lambert/Kris Allen
Rating: R
Genre: AU - romance, erotica
Word Count: 23,570
Warnings: Sexual situations, cross dressing, language, potentially triggering references to homophobia
Summary: For Kris, it has always a never-ending battle between the consequences of fear and the temptations of desire. The only way to forge a path to freedom is to slip on a sequined dress.
Disclaimers: Not mine, not yours, not ours, not theirs.
Notes: Inspired by Burlesque and the lovely Raja herself. As I like to say, any excuse to put Kris in a dress is a good one. Be warned that the majority of this fic discuss the dilemma of homophobia; I hope the characters put things into perspective for those who, to this day, cannot accept our gay, lesbian and transgender friends.
Thursday morning found Kris naked and half-asleep in a large bed of black satin sheets, the warm weight of Adam’s arm a welcome presence on his bare skin. Sighing happily, he nosed his way under the covers, rubbing his cheek against the skin of Adam’s chest. As soon as they had made it past the doorman of Adam’s condominium-one of the ritzier buildings in town-they made a beeline for the dining room where Kris squirmed and sighed as Adam licked chocolate syrup off his skin. It led to another two rounds of lovemaking and a bonus in the shower because Adam wasn’t staining his hundred-thread count satin sheets with something as unworthy as Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup.
It had never really occurred to him that he would wind up in Adam Lambert’s bed after ruining one of his many designer suits (Kris had gone on a field trip in his closet in the wee hours of the morning).
“You were muttering in your sleep,” Adam said, curling a hand around his hip.
“…mmmhh?” Kris burrowed his face into his chest in response.
“Something about having chicken for breakfast,” Adam said sleepily. “We can order in from that bloody Chick-Fil-A place down the street when I feel like talking on the phone.”
“Yay,” Kris mumbled into his chest, absently petting the hair there. “I like chicken.”
“You should probably call your friends back, too,” Adam continued. “Your phone has about six or seven missed calls and a barrage of text messages.”
“…fuck!” Kris shot up to sit back on his knees. “I forgot to tell Tommy that I was-I was…”
“That you wouldn’t be coming home for the next twelve hours because you spent so much time naked in Adam Lambert’s bed? I pray they believe you.”
Kris grabbed his iPhone from the table and stared glumly at the screen-Tommy, Sutan, Brad, Cook, Cassidy, and some of his other friends. How was he supposed to explain himself to them?
“Do you mind if I phone in for a rain check?”
“No problem.” Adam dropped a kiss on his forehead before getting to his feet gracefully. “I’ll be on the phone in the hall with someone from Chick-Fil-A; yell out your order when you’re done.”
Kris sighed dreamily as he watched Adam pad out into the hall completely naked, envious at how he was completely and utterly comfortable in his own freckled galaxy of skin. Shaking himself out of his stupor, he threw himself back onto the sheets and hit speed dial.
“What the fuck, Kris Allen?” Brad picked up after the first ring. “In case you haven’t noticed, your phone is full of messages and missed calls from people that love you. What the fuck have you been doing? Where the fuck are you? We are all worried sick here and-”
“I was having sex,” Kris interrupted him.
“You promised us you were going to come home at-wait, sex? As in the kind of sex where you spread your legs for some hot guy and let him slide his cock into your ass?”
“Yes, that kind of sex,” Kris muttered. “I’m…I’m at-well, I’m at Adam Lambert’s.”
The girly squeal of glee that erupted from the other end of the line assured Kris that he wasn’t going to get killed-by Brad, at least.
“Oh my god. Oh my fucking god. Oh my god. How’d it go, baby? Was it good? Was he good?”
Kris blinked. “…you’re not even going to ask me how it happened?”
“Please; the important things come first on my priority list,” Brad said dismissively. “Now that I know you’re alive and well, I’m going to ask you really personal questions that are relevant to my interests.”
“I’m going to make this quick because I have to call Tommy and Sutan,” Kris replied. “But, uhm, yeah…it was good-really great, in fact. The countertop sex was insane, but once we got to the bed, he was really sweet and gentle. Oh my god, Brad; I think we did it…four times?”
“No wonder you’re still stuck there!” Brad said with a giggle. “You are coming home tonight, right? I’m going to order a cake from the local bakery, pretend I baked it, and we can have some gay boy time while you tell me everything in excruciatingly detailed detail.”
“I miss you already,” Kris said wistfully. “I’ll see you after lunch, maybe; I’m sure Adam has work to do. Heck, I don’t even know what his plans for today are.”
“Well, call me if you need someone to pick you up,” Brad offered. “But yeah, you should really call Tommy now; I think he busted a hole in the wall out of anger last night.”
“Crap,” Kris groaned. “I’ll get back to you if either of them will let me off the hook.”
It was a good thing that he had decided to call Sutan first, as he didn’t have the heart to give Kris a hard time even though what he did was admittedly idiotic. Tommy, on the other hand, spent a good minute or two yelling at him before telling him how he had scared the shit out of them and that he would never be allowed to close up the club again.
“And if that Lambert creature fucking breaks your heart, I’m going to run his clothes through a shredder,” Tommy growled. “He hasn’t been a bastard to you, has he?”
“He’s actually being very kind to me right now,” Kris replied. “Do you know that he’s out in the hall looking for Chick-Fil-A’s number in the yellow pages just so I can have chicken for breakfast?”
“Well, that’s quite considerate,” Tommy remarked. “He looks like the type who has never let the soles of his boots touch the floors of a fast food restaurant before. If he’s willing to eat Chick-Fil-A with you, then I won’t stand in your way…for now, at least. If he makes you cry or makes you uncomfortable with the issues you’re facing, you know the drill. Call. Me.”
“I will,” Kris promised. “Thanks, Tommy; I swear on the Super Mario brothers that I will be home by this afternoon. Brad’s picking me up, so you don’t need to worry too much.”
He ended the call and wrapped the sheets around his shoulders, stepping out into the hallway to see what his host was up to. Adam was sitting cross-legged on a plush divan, the phone book on his lap covering the bits Kris had gotten quite acquainted with earlier that day.
“Help an idiot out here, won’t you, sweetie?” Adam beckoned to him. “I have never eaten anything from here in my life, so I’m stumped at what to order.”
Kris giggled and went to curl up next to him, sighing happily when Adam looped an arm around his shoulder. He gently pried the cordless phone from Adam’s hand and issued an order for two chicken burger meals before handing it back so Adam could deal with the delivery details.
“They don’t have a very big menu,” he said with a shrug. “It’s called Chick-Fil-A for a reason; they specialize in the unhealthy preparation of chicken.”
“And to think you don’t seem to be gaining any weight despite all the calories you’re wolfing down,” Adam sighed dramatically. “I wish all of us could be that lucky.”
“Dude, there’s nothing wrong with the way you look,” Kris frowned. “I wish I could have even a fourth of the confidence you exude when you’re out there in the real world.”
“Well, I think you have a quiet confidence of your own deep inside,” Adam said. “The Kris who went to bed with me this morning? He was so unselfconscious. He knows he is sexy. Honey, you shouldn’t hide him beneath all the layers of fear you’ve built one on top of the other; when you let yourself relax, you’re a delightful companion. That was the best sex I’ve had in…in months.”
“I don’t know,” Kris shook his head. “I think it’s your fault, honestly. When I’m with you, I feel that I’m in control of my own emotions. I don’t feel like having to build the wall of Jerusalem around myself because I know you prefer the uninhibited part of me that isn’t afraid of his past.”
“That’s the real you, Kris.” Adam was insistent. “I understand that you’re afraid of being a little more open about your sexuality because of what happened in the past, but you’re not going to make any progress if you keep allowing your past to dictate your present. If I am the one who brings out the wilder, happier man in you, then so be it. I’m willing to help you out, Kris, but you have to be willing to help yourself.”
“That’s…that’s too much, Adam!” Kris protested. “You have other more important things to do, I’m sure. I mean, you have such a demanding job description; you don’t need to add to it.”
“Kris, there are things that I do because I need to do them,” he said patiently. “But more importantly, there are thing that I do because I want to do them. I want to be here for you, Kris. The fact that you allowed yourself to open up to me and even sleep with me as you are means that you are progressing. If anything, at least we proved that your sexual drive is normal-okay, perhaps a bit above average in that department-and you’re not going to run away from every man that tries to pursue you.”
“I guess,” Kris sighed. “That’s better than nothing, right?”
“Yes,” Adam beamed at him, reaching out to ruffle his hair. “Yes of course.”
“Tommy was right,” Kris said, laughing softly. “He was the one person who said you might actually be good for me. He said I needed a push in the right direction, and it looks like you’re the one doing that. Of course, I wasn’t expecting things to go in reverse order.”
“I was drunk,” Adam apologized. “If I wasn’t, I can assure you that I wouldn’t have fucked you.”
“And none of this would have happened, so I say it was a good thing you chose to crash in at closing,” Kris giggled. “Everything happens for a reason, I bet. I don’t think the universe ever puts two people in the same room together unless they’re going to have a major impact on each other’s lives.”
“You know, you are a very smart little woodland creature,” Adam beamed at him. “I think I’m going to enjoy my stay in your universe, Kris Allen.”
“What role are you going to play in it, though?” Kris wanted to know. “Are you going to be my friend, mentor, fuck buddy, boyfriend, landlord or something else?”
“How about I pencil in a date for next week, and we’ll see how it goes from there?”
Kris nodded. That sounded like a good idea to him, too.
“It seems like you’ve gotten yourself an admirer, baby doll.” Sutan set a bouquet of calla lilies down on Kris’ dressing table. “Adam has been stopping by more often than he usually does. I’ve known him for years, and he’s never been so enamored by one of my adopted children before. Don’t tell me that one night you spent in his care changed everything this quickly.”
“I’d be lying if I said it didn’t,” Kris said with a wry smile. “He has been very kind to me, Sutan. I don’t feel the urge to put on a dress and a wig whenever we meet outside of work. Actually, I think that’s the reason why he has been stopping by more often-he told me he would not come to see me here if I continued to hide behind Krista each time I got uncomfortable. So far, it’s been easy for me to act in my own consciousness within the walls of this bar, but that’s because most of the patrons are really nice. I don’t think I’d fare as well around more prejudiced people.”
“Still, I’d say Adam has a bit of a thing for you,” Sutan said with a wink. “How many times have you been spending the night with him, anyway?”
“Well, I have dinner with him about twice a week.” Kris was blushing a bright cherry red. “Sometimes, I stay over, but we don’t always have sex. He takes me out at times, but he’s okay with us just staying at his place to talk. I have no idea what we are, but it’s nice to have a friend like him.”
Sutan snorted. “Friend my ass. He likes you, pet. It shows. Do you have any idea how much flowers and chocolates I’ve been asking Cassidy to send up here? They’re all from Adam, kiddo.”
“I just don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship, though,” Kris confessed, stroking one of the petals with his fingers. “I don’t think I can give myself utterly and completely to someone else if I’m still not sure of who I am. I like Adam a lot, but I don’t want to jump into anything that might destroy our friendship.”
“If he’s really the one meant for you, he’ll wait,” Sutan assured him. “In the meantime, don’t worry too much about what the future holds; enjoy the present. If you’re having the time of your life right now, then live in it. Indulge yourself once in awhile, honey. It’s not a sin.”
“I guess I should,” Kris said softly. “And, uhm, can I ask you something?”
“Sure, baby,” Sutan replied. “Ask away.”
Kris drew in a breath. “…do any of your queens ever leave? Like, you know, go out there into the real world and try their hand at other things?”
“Some have, yes,” Sutan answered. “There are some boys that only come here because they need help finding themselves. My doors are always open to folks like that because drag can be a very empowering thing. When they think they’re ready to go, I let them-those moments are some of my proudest. I may not be a licensed therapist or anything of that sort, but I’m glad I have been able to help some people in my own little way. You know, Kris, you have a lot going for you. You’re a brave little man; you’re on your way to overcoming a part of your past that is so dark and dreary. I am so proud of you.”
Kris stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Sutan’s waist, burying his face into his shoulder. Sutan wound his arms around Kris’ slighter frame and pressed a kiss to his forehead.
“It won’t be long until you spread your wings and leave the nest, baby.”
“But I don’t want to leave you,” Kris protested. “I’m where I am now because of you guys; I can’t just walk away because I need to.”
“Baby, you will walk out of here because you can.” Sutan tightened his embrace. “And when that day finally comes, I will watch you walk out that door hand-in-hand with Adam. It will be monumental for him as well because it means you are finally ready to fall in love and give yourself completely to him.”
“I’ll take those words to heart, then,” Kris said warmly. “Thank you, Sutan.”
“You’re very welcome,” Sutan replied. “Now, get back out there, Krista.”
“Aye aye, sir,” Kris giggled, slipping on his heels before giving himself one last do-over in the mirror. “I can’t keep Mister Lambert waiting now, can I?”
He made his way to the corner booth Adam liked to stay in and seated himself across the actor, who was looking radiant in one of his less-than-fifty-grand suits. Laughing softly, he allowed Adam to take his hand and lift it to his lips, his cheeks heating up with the gesture.
“Did you get the flowers?” Adam asked. “I had Sutan take them to the dressing room.”
“I did, thank you,” Kris replied. “You could have just given them to me now.”
“Oh, you know me,” Adam said with a dismissive wave of his hand. “I enjoy exhibiting my stalkerish tendencies when I can. Besides, it’s hilarious to see the irritation on the old lady’s face when I complain about her flower arrangements-serves her right for introducing her cat to my precious YSL shoes. Anyway, I come bearing wonderful news. You’re off tomorrow, yes?”
“As usual, yes,” Kris replied. “You want me to keep you company in the production room again?”
“That and I want you to hold my hand when they tell me that I’m up for my very first Academy Award,” Adam said with a nervous chuckle. “I wasn’t supposed to find out until tomorrow, but Chris-Nolan-just couldn’t wait to spring the surprise on me; he knows how hard I’ve worked on this movie.”
“Adam, that’s…that’s amazing,” Kris breathed, reaching out to grab his hands. “I’m so proud of you! Of course I’m going to accompany you to the set tomorrow-even if we’re both going to end up feigning surprise at the good news. I’m not much of an actor, so you’re going to have to help me out.”
Adam laughed. “We’ll deal with that tomorrow. Today, I want to celebrate-just you and me, baby. I asked Sutan if you could have the day off earlier this morning because I have something special planned for us today. However, you might want to get out of that costume.”
“I’m on it,” Kris promised, pressing a quick kiss to Adam’s mouth. “I’ll be ready in ten.”
“Knowing you, you’ll make it.” Adam winked. “Someday, you’ll make it to thirty and I’ll be the proudest man in the state!”
Laughing, Kris leaned in to steal one more kiss before heading back to the dressing room, already in the process of toeing off his heels and pulling off his wig.
“Big day today, hmmm?” Tommy drawled. “Lambert looks uncharacteristically pleasant.”
“Oh, shut up, Tommy,” Kris giggled. “Adam received word that he’s up for his first Oscar today; you can’t blame him for being all giddy.”
“Which means he’ll be walking the red carpet this year,” Tommy remarked. “Interesting.”
Kris frowned. “…why are you looking at me like that? You only look at people like that when you’re trying to point out the obvious.”
“Which is exactly what I am doing,” Tommy replied. “Think about it, mate. Your man is nominated; a nomination means a walk on the red carpet. And what does a nominee usually bring? A date. He hasn’t asked you to be his boyfriend or his wife or the queen of his palace, but as of now, you’re the only one he’s seriously dating. Kris, I’m not saying is going to happen for real, but there are huge chances that he will ask if you want to walk the red carpet with him. This means public appearances, Kris. He’s an actor.”
“…that didn’t occur to me,” Kris said dumbly. “That didn’t occur to me at all.”
“Look, forget I said anything.” Tommy pressed a quick kiss to the top of his head. “He’s been so good to you and he’s aware of the kind of things you’re afraid of-chances are, he might not even bring it up. I don’t know what will make you feel better in this case, but don’t dwell on it too much. He obviously went out of his way to leave work so you two can spend time together. Just have fun.”
“Okay,” Kris agreed. “Thanks, Tommy.”
He hurried back into the dressing room to change out of his dress and wash his face. As soon as his hair stopped being ridiculous-the wig always did awful things to it-he rushed back out to Adam, who made a face at the flat mop resting on the crown of Kris’ head.
“I have some product in the car,” he said, offering his arm gallantly. “You know I love you when you’ve just woken up in the morning, but for a day out, this simply will not do.”
“You’re not going to turn my hair green, are you?” Kris asked warily as Adam opened the passenger door for him. “I’ve seen what you have in your bathroom; not all of them look safe.”
“Trust me, it’s just hairspray,” Adam replied. “It’s right there in the glove compartment.”
Still suspicious, Kris unlocked the said compartment and pulled out a harmless-looking bottle of Vidal Sassoon hairspray. It was…well, red and metallic, but otherwise normal.
“So, has it convinced you of its normality yet?” Adam asked cheerfully as he settled into the driver’s seat. “You’re still looking at it like it’s going to eat you.”
Kris scowled. “Adam Lambert, you know I have been product-free for all my life until I decided to do drag. Now, if you would stop scaring me, I will let you put some in my hair.”
“Alright, alright,” Adam laughed. “Lean in a little-there you go.”
Kris squirmed as he felt Adam rake his hands through his hair, making it stick up every which way. Finally, he made a satisfied noise and pressed a kiss to Kris’ forehead.
“All done, beautiful. Now, we are ready to get this show on the road!”
“Where exactly are we going?” Kris asked.
“We’re going to have an overnight holiday,” Adam explained. “I booked us a villa at Terranea Resorts. We’ll have the whole night for spa treatments, swimming, cuddling in our luxurious king-sized bed, whatever floats your boat.”
Kris shook his head. “You’re amazing, Adam. I think I love you.”
“I know I love you,” Adam grinned in response. “It’ll be great, babe.”
“…seriously?” Kris gripped his arm. “Because I’ve never told you how I felt about you before. That was so spur-of-the-moment, and I didn’t know what I was saying. Oh god, please tell me you meant that and that you aren’t mad! Because I won’t know what to do if you are and-mmph!”
Adam chose to press a hard, rough kiss to his lips, all teeth and tongue. “I meant it.”
“…okay,” Kris breathed, moving back into his seat. “I got that.”
Adam smirked. “Do you need another reminder?”
Kris batted his lashes. “I already forgot what your mouth tastes like.”
Adam moved to lean over the console. “Bite me when the light turns green.”
Kris moaned loudly as he felt Adam press into him from behind. He forgot whose brilliant idea it was to fuck in a steam room (it was amazing how they couldn’t get facts straight between the two of them sometimes), but the steam and the fog just made every a million times hotter. Somehow, Adam had managed to conjure a condom and a packet of lube from the pockets of his robe, and things had gotten messy from there.
“Oh gosh, yes!” he cried. “Fuck me, baby-fuck me hard.”
“Slut,” Adam murmured in his ear as he reached around to jerk Kris’ cock in time with his thrusts. “You love it when I call you that, don’t know? That’s because you are a slut, Kristopher; you’re my fucking slut and you’ll do exactly as I say.”
“Fuck, yes!” Kris hissed. “I’ll do whatever you want, baby; just keep fucking me like this.”
He spread his legs wider and pushed back against Adam, tightening the grip of his sphincter muscles around Adam’s cock. This was something Kris couldn’t deny; he loved having sex with Adam. There was just something about being held down while being penetrated that made him feel ridiculously complete. Now that he had the luxury of getting it whenever he wanted it, he had become a bit of a slut. They were in what people called the honeymoon stage of their relationship, so Adam bending him over the nearest available surface had become a staple in some of their more passionate dates. Adam had even taken the liberty of filming some of their encounters for future reference; Kris always ended up hot and bothered whenever he watched one of their tapes.
“Love your cock,” he moaned. “It’s so huge and hot and it’s filling me completely. Do me harder, Adam; make sure I know who I belong to.”
“I love it when you let loose like that,” Adam breathed, steadily pumping in and out of Kris’ body. “You’re so sexy, baby-you don’t even know how perfect you are for me.”
Kris threw his head back, trying in vain to bite back a loud moan as he came into Adam’s loosely clenched fist. He tipped his head on Adam’s shoulder and buried his face into his neck, letting Adam bear his weight as he fucked Kris into his own orgasm. Laughing, Adam withdrew his softening cock from Kris’ ass and wrapped a towel around him before helped him out of the steam room.
“Can you walk?” he asked teasingly. “You did ask for a hard fucking, after all.”
“I’ll manage,” Kris said dryly, pushing open the glass door that led to the shower. “I’m just so glad this villa has everything; we don’t need to embarrass ourselves elsewhere.”
“Please; you get off on the idea of being watched,” Adam scoffed. “This is exactly why you were so enthusiastic when I fucked you in Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s trailer; he could have walked in anytime. Heck, you even let me fuck you in the bedroom we use on set.”
Kris rolled his eyes. “Is it my problem if you make me horny all the time? Maybe if you stopped walking around with your dick hanging out of your pants, I wouldn’t think about sucking it all the time.”
“For your information, my pants are just tight,” Adam said with a grin, rubbing his cock in the crease between Kris’ ass cheeks. “If you’ve got the goods, why not flaunt them, right?”
“You are so obnoxious,” Kris giggled, rising up on his tiptoes to lather the shampoo into Adam’s hair. “Just because you have a huge dick doesn’t mean you’re a special snowflake.”
“But only the glambulge can satisfy you,” Adam smirked. “Anything less would never be able to bring you to the heights of multiple orgasm bliss.”
“Why am I even dating you?” Kris put his hands on his hips and glared mockingly at him.
“Because I get you,” Adam said softly, pressing a kiss to his pouting lips. “I’m the only one who will.”
Kris sighed happily and relaxed into his embrace, letting the warm water wash away the remnants of their lovemaking. He was so lucky to have such an amazing, understanding partner who put up with him despite all his fears and insecurities. Sutan often told him that not all gay men-especially the lonely hearts club type that sought his counseling services-had the chance to get into a relationship like this.
“Babe?” Adam asked quietly. “There’s something I need to tell you-well, it’s more of something I need to ask you, actually. It’s…it’s really kind of important.”
“I’m listening,” Kris replied, knowing full well what Adam was going to ask of him.
“It’s about the red carpet at the Oscar’s.” Adam was rubbing soothing circles across the damp skin of his back. “There’s no date yet, but I’m planning to go with my Mom, Dani or one of my other friends. I know how you feel about making public appearances, so I’m not going to be selfish and ask-”
Kris stiffened against him and moved away, suddenly cold. He couldn’t believe Adam had said that right after saying that he understood Kris; this wasn’t what he had been expecting at all.
“…it didn’t even occur to you to ask me,” he said disbelievingly. “You just assumed I wasn’t ready to go out there and face the press because it means the whole world is going to know who I am. Well, guess what? You’re right; I’m not ready-I don’t think I will be for awhile. But it would have been nice of you to at least ask if I wanted to come with you. I’ve always been second place in other people’s lives, Adam. I don’t want to be that way with you, too.”
“Oh, sweetheart,” Adam murmured, reaching out for him. “Come here.”
Kris looked up at Adam from under his lashes, afraid to take the first step. Adam heaved a sigh and moved to wrap his arms around Kris, tucking him safely in the crook of his neck.
“You know I want to walk that carpet with you more than anything,” he said fiercely. “There is nothing I want more than to walk up to a journalist and say, ‘This is my man’; trust me, winning the Oscar will not even compare to being able to share that night with you. But you have to remember that lots of people watch the Oscars, baby-those you left behind tune in as well, I’m sure. If they see you with me, they’re going to start talking. To tell you the truth, I was thinking of asking Krista to be my date, but I don’t think that’s going to work all that well, either. I’m willing to wait until you’re ready, Kris. I don’t care how long it takes; I’m never going to force you into anything that will make you feel uncomfortable.”
“That’s so unfair to you, though,” Kris whispered. “I don’t want to be your burden forever; you don’t deserve to be weighed down by my issues.”
“Honey, I don’t see things that way,” Adam assured him. “I have issues of my own, too. I’m the world’s most histrionic creature and I get so fucking cranky when things don’t go my way. Honestly, you’re a hero for being able to put up with all my madness; no one who isn’t my mother ever stuck around this long to try and deal me. I’ve had a string of the most worthless relationships ever, so I know a keeper when I meet one. Kris, you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’m not going to lose you over something as small as this-all I want is for you to trust me.”
Kris locked his arms around Adam’s torso. “I love you. So, so much.”
“I love you, too.” Adam pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “And I’m sure, deep down inside, your family and your old friends still do. It’s just going to be a matter of time, baby; people can’t hate each other forever-it would kill us all if we did.”
“And we should hurry along with this shower,” Kris said. “Because I am hungry, and I know you will take about an extra half an hour to get dressed.”
“Psssshh, you exaggerate!” Adam scoffed. “I can get ready in like, fifteen minutes tops!”
“You lie,” Kris grinned, flicking some water at Adam’s face. “You’ll run around throwing clothes around the room, taking them on and off and asking me which I like best. In the end, you’re going to walk out wearing the first outfit you tried on. I know you, Lambert; I have been sort of living with you for awhile now.”
And of course, Kris was right.
“So, who did he decide to go with in the end?” Brad asked.
“No one,” Kris sighed, poking glumly at his soggy fries. “He thought it would make me feel worse if I went with someone else, so he decided to fly solo. And where am I on my boyfriend’s big night? Stuffing myself with fries at home while waiting for him to grace the red carpet on television. I suck.”
He had just returned to his apartment from a rather uncomfortable afternoon at Adam’s. Adam had insisted he stay to help him get ready-though he mostly watched and dropped a few comments here and there when asked for his opinion-so he remained there until the limo had arrived to pick up Adam. Kris had tried to convince him that it was perfectly alright for him to bring Leila or Danielle, but Adam, ever the gentleman, said he did not wish to upset Kris any further by having someone else take his place. They had shared a nice, lingering kiss at the doorway, but the sadness in Adam’s eyes did not go unnoticed. Kris knew that he had put it there, and it made him feel worse than ever.
The thing with Brad was that he was so spot-on; he could tell when someone was having a hard time. Fortunately, this radar worked best when it came to Kris, who had been groveling and sighing for nearly a month since his holiday with Adam.
“You look troubled.”
“Of course you noticed,” Kris sighed. “Which is really quite convenient because I was going to ask for your help, anyway. This is really important; it could change the entire dynamic of my relationship with Adam.”
“He asked you, right?” Tommy narrowed his eyes. “Or he assumed you wouldn’t want to go, so he went on ahead and asked someone else to go with him because he thought it would be selfish of him to ask you. Man, that guy is becoming predictable.”
“You hit it right on the nail,” Kris replied. “Anyway, I freaked out a little about it because it would have been nice if he asked me first, and because he’s just that amazing, he said he didn’t ask because it would merit a public appearance-and you know what a public appearance with an actor would do to me. It would defeat my purpose of escaping to LA to hide.”
“Is that what you still want, though?” Brad asked. “Or you’re starting to re-think everything because you feel like you owe him your bravery.”
“That’s what I’ve been thinking about all week,” Kris mumbled. “He’s been so wonderful to me; I think it’s about time that I give something back. He said that nothing would make him happier than to have me at his side on his big day, but I don’t know if I can do it. The press will be everywhere; I’m going to have to answer all sorts of questions about him, myself and us. I’m so scared that I’m going to end up doing or saying something that will put his career in jeopardy.”
Sutan sighed. “The thing with you boys is that you are both such martyrs. You would much rather suffer alone in fear of hurting the other. Adam has always been that kind of boy; I do wish he would allow himself to be selfish sometimes. I always tell him he won’t go anywhere if he always denies his heart what it wants, but he comes up with some ridiculous excuse to push things away. He’s the kind of boy who would rather back down when things are starting to look up in fear of destroying that happiness. He’s scared, Kris; I think he’s far more terrified of this than you are.”
“I-I don’t understand.” Kris shook his head. “Why would he be so scared?”
“Because he loves you,” Tommy said simply. “He loves you more than anything.”
Kris felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest. This was all so new to him because he had never felt so loved before. A long time ago, when he still got along with his parents, his mama used to tell him about how different the love of a lover was from that of a parent for a friend. Kris knew this, but he understood little of it-the couples in movies and book as well as those among his friends told him nothing of how it was to genuinely experience such love.
But now-with Adam-he knew.
To love someone was to want to wake up next to that person and dive in for a good morning kiss despite the morning breath. It was to have the desire to support that person during his times of trouble and celebrate with him during his high points. But most of all, loving someone meant being willing to make sacrifices and compromises because life no longer revolved around just one person. His life included Adam now, and he knew he was going to have to make adjustments to be able to accommodate him. What terrified him, however, was the intensity of the want to do those things for Adam.
“Baby, you need to stop going to war with yourself,” Brad said softly. “Just…give in to what you want, for once. Let your gut instinct dominate your reasoning. That’s the only way to set yourself free.”
Kris buried his face in his hands. “…I want to be with him in every way that I can. I don’t want to be the kind of lover eternally cowering in his embrace because I’m afraid to see how people look at me. I want to be the kind of boyfriend he deserves to have-someone brave and supportive enough to deal with insults and questions from prying eyes. I wish I had been brave enough to volunteer to be his date before he walked out that door.”
“There you go,” Tommy said proudly. “See? I told you Krista was always a part of Kris; the confidence you exude when you’re wearing a dress and high heels has always been inside of you. It’s not changing your identity, but embracing who you really are. Right now, you might be a little unsteady on your feet, but that’s alright. Someday, you’ll be able to put your past behind you, but that’s not what’s important right now. Why? Your present is Adam; he’s the most important person in your life right now.”
“I could kiss those words right out of your mouth, man,” Kris said with a rueful grin. “Thank you. I owe all of you so much because you never gave up on me.”
“You should give yourself credit, too,” Sutan beamed at him. “Because you never gave up on yourself.”
Kris felt like flying. He felt like rushing out into the streets to dance with a passing stranger just because he was so happy. Once upon a time, he had convinced himself that ‘happily ever after’ only existed for some people. Kris had never been the kind of kid who repeatedly dreamt of handsome princes on white horses; all he had ever wanted was love in its truest, rawest form.
And now that he had it, he swore he wouldn’t let go.
“…would it be too late if I left for the Oscars now?” he asked quietly. “I still have the suit he had custom-made for me as one of his random not-anniversary presents.”
Sutan lit up. “Oh my god, you’re really going, aren’t you? I think we can get you ready in thirty minutes tops. Knowing Adam, he’s going to be the last one on the red carpet because he’s going to get distracted by some silly thing he sees along the way, so we still have time. Take a quick, shower, get into that suit, and Brad and I will help you out with your hair and a bit of makeup.”
“I’ll drive you,” Tommy volunteered, looking thrilled at the prospect. “I fucking love beating traffic lights in LA; it’s therapeutic for me.”
“Please.” Brad rolled his eyes. “You drive like my grandma.”
Kris made a beeline for the bathroom, trying to finish as quickly as he could without coming out only to smell half-human and half-leftover possum. As soon as he had finished, Brad practically pulled the suit over his head, critically checking it for wrinkles and loose threads before proclaiming him ‘the loveliest cum bucket in LA’ and sending him to Sutan for hair and makeup.
“All done, golden boy,” Sutan said triumphantly, giving him one last do-over before helping him out on his suit jacket. Your man is going to be so surprised to see you.”
“Come on, Allen,” Tommy grinned, tossing a helmet in his direction. “I think my Harley Davidson will do a better job of taking you to the Oscars than any car ever will.”
“Am I going to survive this ride?” Kris moaned as Brad and Sutan escorted him down to the apartment lobby. “Tommy only got the bike two days ago.”
“Honey, he drives like my grandma,” Brad reminded him. “And I am still alive despite the numerous grocery trips I have gone on with her, so yes-you’ll make it in one piece.”
Kris bit his lip nervously as he settled himself in behind Tommy. Knowing his luck, he could very well fall off and die or something equally terrible.
“Hang tight, Cinderella,” Tommy advised, putting on his own helmet. “We’re going to go at the speed limit to make sure you make it to the ball in time.”
“Have fun, darling!” Brad blew him a kiss. “You’re going to slay Adam Lambert.”
“Shut it down, Kris Allen,” Sutan grinned. “You’re going to do just fine.”
Nodding his thanks, Kris lowered the helmet visor and wrapped his arms tightly around Tommy’s waist, making a little squeaking noise as Tommy pulled out of his parking space and into the main road.
“You alright there, Allen?” he asked loudly, zipping in between two cabs to beat the red light. “At normal speed, we’ll make it there in twenty-fifteen if I drive at breakneck speed and ten if I drive like I’m having the time of my life. Make your choice.”
“I think I can deal with twenty minutes on this thing!” Kris hollered. “I would be happier with much less, but if we make it ten, you might have to call an ambulance for me.”
Kris ended up spending most of the trip with his face tucked against Tommy’s shoulder, only looking up every few seconds so he could tell where they were. He loved Tommy to death and would be forever grateful for this ride, but he would probably pass on a second trip the next time Tommy offered.
Still, he almost wanted to stay glued to his seat as soon as they arrived at the Kodak.
“Here you are, Cinderella,” Tommy nudged him off. “Enjoy your night-I promise you Lambert’s Mustang won’t turn into a pumpkin at midnight. You’ll get your happy ending.”
“Wish me luck, Tommy,” Kris said softly. “I’m going to need it.”
With that, he handed the helmet back to Tommy and made his way to the arrival area, hoping Adam hadn’t made his appearance yet. It was filled to the brim with celebrities, handlers and security officers, making Kris wonder how on earth he would manage to find Adam in such a crowd.
“Are you alright?” a low, throaty voice from behind him asked. “You look a little lost.”
Kris turned and found himself face-to-face with Angelina Jolie, who looked resplendent in her strapless black gown. Escorting her, of course, was her longtime partner (and Kris’ boyhood crush), Brad Pitt. He was sure he spent a few seconds doing a fine imitation of a fish before Jolie took pity on him and put a hand on his shoulder.
“Don’t be so nervous,” she said, a small smile pulling at the corners of her lips. “I’ve never seen you around before, so I guess you’re one of those new kids on the block. Are you up for anything tonight?”
“Oh, no,” Kris shook his head. “I’m just here to support my boyfriend; he’s a Best Actor nominee. I’m sure you’ve run into or at least heard of Adam Lambert.”
“Of course you’re Adam’s boyfriend.” Pitt chuckled. “You’re pretty much the epitome of what we call The Adam Lambert Twink Mold; I’ve had a chance to work with him on a short film I produced once-the boy is mighty talented. I only had him onboard as a guest actor, but he outshone my main man by far. Anyway, if you’re looking for him, he’s just about to walk on. You can still catch up.”
“Thank you so much,” Kris babbled. “I hope you won’t mind me asking for an autograph later at the Vanity Fair afterparty!”
He turned on his heel and squeezed past a bunch of other celebrities, eyes on Adam and Adam alone. He was posing for a few photographers by the red carpet entrance, looking debonair in his own custom-made head-to-toe black tux.
“Adam!” he called out, unable to restrain himself.
The look on Adam’s face as he watched Kris approach him was priceless. All at once, the cameras turned to Kris, eager to document his arrival as the reporters whispered among themselves.
“…I changed my mind,” he said shyly. “I know it took me so long, and I am so sorry for that. I realized that I want to do this for you not just because you deserve a lover who supports you, but also because I want to, more than anything. Well, I’m here for you tonight, and I hope you let me stay.”
Adam pulled him into an embrace and squeezed him tightly, bold and uncaring despite the fact that the world was watching them at that very moment. It was no surprise to Kris that he didn’t care as much as he thought he would; Adam was holding him, and that was all that mattered.
“I feel like I’ve already won,” he whispered into Kris’ ear before releasing him.
“Well, this is a surprise even the Best Actor nominee himself didn’t expect!” Giuliana Rancic waved them over. “We haven’t seen Adam Lambert this surprised off-screen before. Adam, who is this fetching young man that decided to grace us with his presence tonight?”
Laughing, Adam turned to face the cameras. “Giuliana, I’d like you to meet my darling lover, Kris Allen. Can you believe I almost left him at home this evening?”
“Be sure to thank Brad and Angelina,” Kris drawled. “They helped me find you.”
“I guess I’ll offer to babysit the brood, then,” Adam chuckled. “I feel like I’m on cloud nine right now! Having Kris appear out of nowhere makes me feel like I can do anything.”
“Just how excited are you for your man tonight, Kris?” Rancic turned to him.
“Very much so,” Kris said with a grin. “I’ve been accompanying him to the set when he was assisting with post-production, and I was really impressed with the fragments of what I managed to catch. I have to say, I didn’t get to see Lies, Lies, Lies on the big screen until a second week after its box office premiere. Adam was sick with the flu on the premiere day, so we had to stay home.”
“It’s a shame, or else we would have found out Adam was hiding you from us much earlier,” Rancic laughed. “Congratulations again on the nomination, Adam. Enjoy the show, both of you.”
“We’ll see you at the afterparty, Giuliana,” Adam replied, reaching out to take Kris’ hand. “We still have quite a long way to go.”
“So, how was I?” Kris asked him as they stopped to pose for more photos.
“I couldn’t have handled it better myself.” Adam pressed a kiss to Kris’ nose. “Well done, my love. I can never thank you enough for being here tonight.”
“I can never thank you enough for loving me.” Kris pushed up on his tiptoes to kiss him.
As they finally entered the Kodak Theater hand-in-hand, Kris realized that it was time to bid farewell to his life at The Red Room. He thought of Krista, her sequined dresses and her high heels, and how it would hurt a little to say goodbye to her, an essential part of who he had been. It was time, though; she had done everything she could possibly do for him, and it was time to move on with his life. The warm weight of Adam’s hand in his served as a reminder that no matter what could happen, no matter what would happen, he would never have to walk alone again.
“Remember your name.
Do not lose hope-what you seek will be found.
Trust ghosts. Trust those that you have helped to help you in their turn.
Trust dreams.
Trust your heart, and trust your story.”
- Neil Gaiman