ANGEL OF MERCY, HOW DID YOU FIND ME? (Part Four of Five)
ANGEL OF MERCY, HOW DID YOU FIND ME?
A Harlequin Kradam Story
By: Lady Michaelis
Main Characters: Adam Lambert, Kris Allen
Supporting Characters: Tommy Joe Ratliff, Cale Mills, David Cook, Allison Iraheta, David Archuleta, Bradley ‘Cheeks’ Bell, Cassidy Haley
Guest Appearances: Kimberly Allen, Matt Giraud, Ryan Seacrest, Carrie Underwood, Michael Johns, Carly Smithson, Katy Perry, Eber Lambert, Tim Urban
Pairings: Adam Lambert/Kris Allen, Cale Mills/Tommy Joe Ratliff, David Cook/David Archuleta, Cassidy Haley/Brad Bell (hints of non-romantic Kris Allen/Tommy Joe Ratliff)
Rating: PG - NC17
Warnings: Graphic sexual situations, voyeurism, four-way intercourse, foul language
Genre: Romance/Mystery/Drama/Humor
Prompt/Summary: After a devastating breakup, Kris needs to get away from his small town, where everybody knows his name-and every single painful detail of his failed engagement. He needs a change of scene, and his first small step: answering big-shot music executive Adam Lambert's Housekeeper Wanted advertisement! Adam is a cutthroat businessman, and has enough secrets to fill his palatial mansion to overflowing. But will Kris glimpse the compassionate man beneath the roughened exterior? And will Adam let Kris get close enough to reawaken his faith in love?
Disclaimers: The title was taken from One Republic’s “Mercy”. I don’t own anyone-except random extras that may litter this story here and there. All other “formalities” aside, go forth and indulge yourself.
PART FOUR: WHAT POISONS THE HEART
I’m so lost in you
A tragedy it seemed to be, but what now?
What now?
A tragedy it seemed to be, but what now?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It was difficult to begin plotting his next course of action when that ultimately meant breaking the bond of trust that had formed between him and Adam.
He’d had a long talk with Tommy and Allison about his issues at Spiraling Down the other day, and they had both come to the conclusion that Kris needed to find out more than what he actually knew. This would mean playing dirty, but it was the only Kris could protect himself. He had been hurt before; he had no desire for it to happen again. He felt that he had already fallen down the rabbit hole, and he needed to know if following the White Rabbit would lead to his beheading at the hand of the Queen of Hearts.
Kris figured he would start small, which meant striking up a conversation with Archie. They had a good rapport going on, and it seemed Archie trusted him enough.
“Kris, hi!” the aforementioned boy exclaimed, shutting the front door behind him. “Gosh, we had a quiz in biology today and I think I did terrible, haha. I really don’t have any idea why they ask music majors to study these things; it’s not like I need to know what uhm, the Turner syndrome is to be able to understand my course. I just don’t see the relevance at all, gosh…”
“Relax, Archie,” Kris smiled in spite of himself. “Come to the kitchen; I have some milk and cookies out. It’s a very Santa Claus kind of snack, but it’s all we have right now. Adam forgot to stop by the grocery last night; he had an emergency meeting with Bieber’s management.”
“Adam always works too hard,” Archie sighed, hoisting himself up onto a stool. “Every time I see him, he’s bent over a ledger or talking to someone on the phone. Sometimes, I feel like I’m looking at a completely different person. He used to be so happy and like, really fun to be with when we were younger. He never cared that I was ten years younger than he was and not his brother by blood; he would drop everything-his friends, his schoolwork, his relaxation time-to be with me if I needed him.”
“He loves you very much, you know?” Kris found himself saying. “He’s gotten some of that spark back because he found you again.”
“I know; and I’m happy about that,” Archie sighed. “The beating incident probably affected him more than it did me, actually. The night I got back, he told me how scared he was that he couldn’t find me. He said he had a hard time going to sleep at night because he was so worried about my safety. I was really scared too, being in that orphanage and all. The people there were kind of, uhm, nasty; I thought they would do something bad to me if I tried to contact home. All I could do was pray that Eber or Adam would find me and take me back home.”
“Eber?”
“Eber Lambert is Adam’s father,” Archie replied. “I see him as mine, too. I was kind of surprised when Adam told me he chose to stay in San Diego instead of coming to live in this huge house with Adam. I really thought they were going to stick together, especially after what happened to Mom.”
“Have you been to see your mother, Archie?” Kris asked softly.
“…I visit her whenever I can, actually,” Archie admitted, blinking away tears. “It just really hurts to see her like that, you know? She doesn’t recognize me; she never even looks at me anymore. When she gets into one of her episodes and the people in the white coats have to sedate her or something, my heart just…it just breaks. Oh gosh, I’m such a baby. I shouldn’t-”
“Arch, it’s alright to cry,” Kris put his arms around the trembling boy. “You’ve been through so much, and you’ve been so brave-you and Adam both. She’s your mother; you love her and can’t stand to see her wallowing in her pain. It’s okay to feel scared and to cry sometimes; you have to let it out. My Mama once told me that if you keep your sadness bottled up inside me for too long, you’re just going to end up shattering under all the pressure. Crying doesn’t make you a baby.”
“It’s just---it’s just so crazy, you know?” Archie sobbed into Kris’ shoulder, clutching at him like a lifeline. “When the people at the orphanage enrolled me at a public high school, everyone just kept giving me these pitying looks. The entire school knew me as the boy with the abusive father and the confined mother; they avoided me like the plague. It was just…so awful.”
“Not everyone in this world has a kind soul, Archie,” Kris pressed a kiss to the younger boy’s forehead. “Some people just enjoy mocking other people’s misery.”
“…they suck,” Archie sniffed. “The worst thing was, I couldn’t even protect myself. As a kid, I always had Eber and Adam. I guess I got used to it.”
“I think you’re ready to stand up for yourself now, though. It took a lot of courage to openly share what you just told me. When you feel like you can’t do it anymore, remember that we’re all here to help you out, okay? No one’s going to leave you biting the dust of the haters.”
“…that’s what Cook told me, too,” Archie flushed, burying his face into Kris’ shoulder.
“You like him, don’t you?” Kris asked teasingly. “You’ve been going out with him a lot lately. Allison tells me it’s weird not to see you at your usual table at Spiraling Down. She also tells me that David has been neglecting some of his bartending duties so he can perform stupid magic tricks in front of you.”
“Oh my gosh, the first time was so embarrassing!” Archie flailed. “He pulled a flower from behind my ear, and I just-I just went really red and almost ran out of the club…”
“I’m kind of jealous of you, you know?” Kris laughed shortly. “You and David have this incredible, amazing thing going on, and there’s really nothing to worry about because everything is going the way it should. Me? I’m this runaway from Arkansas who’s got nothing on him but a sordid past and a failed engagement. Then I get pulled straight into the life of this rich, scary guy and I’m suddenly running errands for him and cooking his meals. That was the way it was supposed to be. I wasn’t supposed to want to get to know him and sit by his side while he watches over his little brother. I wasn’t supposed to come to some party with him, meet his friends and feel like his princess. I wasn’t supposed to have made out with him at said party and wake up naked next to him. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love all over again…”
“Oh, you love Adam,” Archie whispered, his tone reverent.
“I never wanted to, Archie,” Kris squeezed his eyes shut. “Every time I go near him, there’s this voice in my head telling me I should take a step back to save myself from probable hurt; but then he looks so sad or so happy that I can’t help but want to share those emotions with him. I can’t leave him alone, Archie. He’s like this drug that refuses to flush itself out of my system.”
“Maybe you should, uhm, let the feelings in,” Archie suggested. “Maybe if you give this love you feel for him a chance, you’d stop getting all these emotional migraines. I know you’re scared of him not loving you back, but hear me out for a second, please. I know my brother, Kris. Ever since the incident, he’s never been too showy or too generous when it comes to his emotions. If he extended even just a smidgen of care to you, know that there’s something there. He’s probably scared too, Kris. So…give him a chance.”
“That’s the best advice I’ve received all week,” Kris chuckled weakly, wiping at his eyes. “Don’t tell Tommy, though; he’s intent on mothering me until Adam decides to ‘man up’. And god, I wish I would stop crying for even just one second; I feel like a teenage girl.”
“It’s okay, Kris,” Archie leaned in for another hug. “It’s okay to cry.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Kris didn’t have much time to worry for the next few weeks. Things had gotten busy, and he found himself running twice the number of errands he usually did for Adam. The music executive seemed to be getting crankier and crankier as the days passed (Johns had informed Kris that Bieber’s management was inordinately demanding when he’d picked up the phone once) and he had gone back to his nightly routine of shutting himself in the Bellflower Room while yelling at people over the phone. Johns had come over a few times, and he’d join Adam in the yelling spree. Sometimes, he would bring Carly along, and she ended up sitting with Kris in silence while the men in their lives behaved like total workaholics.
Still, there had been a few good days amidst the bad. Adam would actually leave his study to nose his way into Kris’ lap. They would end up in the strangest places-the verandas overlooking the gardens, the vestibule, the winery-simply lying on their backs and gazing at each other. Sometimes, they would kiss. Sometimes, Kris would give Adam a backrub to ease the tension away. Other times, they would just fall asleep, tucked into each other like a pair of kid gloves. It was a very strange thing to do, but Kris believed they both found some comfort in the habit.
A few days later, Kris found himself alone in the mansion with Archie. Adam had taken to spending nights at RCA, feverishly working on beating his deadlines. His phone calls became more and more infrequent, which gave Kris leeway to worry about him more than he usually did. Just when he thought his head was about to explode, Tommy had come bearing good news. By sheer coincidence, his cop friend had strolled into the donut shop-the cliché about cops liking donuts was completely true in his case-at eight o’clock in the morning. The only other customer in the shop was a middle-aged man with graying sandy blond hair and a copy of the Wall Street Journal in his hand. When the girl at the cashier announced that the coffee for Eber Lambert was ready, the cop nearly spit his donut into his own drink.
Two hours later, Tommy was on his doorstep, yelling for him to come down.
Kris had never gotten a more embarrassing wake-up call in his life. He’d yelled at Tommy-okay, maybe it was seriously weird for them to be yelling at each other through an open window on the second floor-to let himself in with the spare key, but the blond shook his head and told Kris he had news that probably couldn’t wait.
Consequently, he and Tommy were now in a cab en route to Sunset Tower Hotel, Eber Lambert’s temporary place of residence. Kris had tried to weasel his way out of the trip, claiming he had no idea what to say to Adam’s father and that he could be arrested for stalking. Tommy, however, had won the argument again; he simply said that it was for Kris’ own peace of mind.
“If I end up in the police station, you’re totally bailing me out,” the Southern boy grumbled.
“I don’t think so, Allen,” Tommy replied primly. “I’d be in the slammer with you. What kind of a friend would I be if I left you in the slammer all by your lonesome? Besides, I’ve always been curious about getting locked in-for minor offenses, of course.”
“You and your weird kinks,” Kris muttered. “I seriously hope you and Cale don’t do roleplays of like, cops and convicts. The very idea sends chills running down my spine.”
“Chills of the bad kind?”
“Well…”
They conversed loosely for the rest of the ride in an attempt to tame Kris’ frazzled nerves. Tommy was going to be accompanying him inside the hotel, but they both agreed that it would be best for Kris to see Eber Lambert alone-if they could manage to work out a way to see him, that was.
“So, do you have an epic plan in your head right now?” Kris asked as soon as they had stepped into the hotel lobby. “Because I seriously have no idea how we’re going to go about this.”
“All we need is some time with the logbook,” Tommy remarked thoughtfully, eyeing the concierge area with cold, calculating eyes. “You think they’d fall for our tricks when neither of us are good actors? You have no poker face…and I have too much of one.”
Kris groaned. “What did you have in mind? I’m kind of too scared to ask.”
“Well, you’re pretty and it’s impossible to say no to you,” Tommy sized him up. “And I’m clearly the sneakier one, so you’ll be doing the distracting and I’ll take care of the looking.”
“But what am I supposed to do?” Kris panicked. “I can’t pretend to be a pregnant Russian woman!”
“…dude, whatever gave you that idea?” Tommy stared at him.
“Uhhhhh, they do stuff like that in spy movies?”
“…looks like I’m not the only one who’s been watching too much TV. Come on, baby boy; nothing’s going to happen if we just stand here talking for the rest of forever.”
“But what the heck are we going to do?” Kris hissed.
“Make up something. Use your charm.”
Before Kris could get another word in edgewise, Tommy looped an arm around him and smiled brightly at the lady manning the concierge. She was blond and tiny, sort of like a Katybot wearing too much makeup.
Kris felt like strangling her.
“Hi, my boyfriend and I have this little problem in our room,” Tommy said. “Apparently, you guys have a bit of a termite situation going on.”
“Oh goodness, I am so sorry, sir!” the woman’s eyes widened in surprise. “I’ll send someone up there immediately. It may take awhile--”
“No, you don’t understand,” Kris interrupted her. “This is a big day for us. His parents are coming over in an hour, and we can’t have them sitting on half-eaten furniture, can we? This is going to be my first time meeting them, and I can’t afford to have them think that we’re living like this.”
He buried his face in Tommy’s shoulder, hoping the lady would buy his fake crying act.
It seemed to work, though, as the woman immediately picked up the phone to ask for a room change. With a discreet wink, Tommy untangled himself from Kris and made a quick grab for the hotel registry, quickly stuffing it into his bag before the Katybot turned back to them.
“Score,” he whispered in Kris’ ear. “Now, to go where she can’t follow us.”
“Huh?” Kris blinked, looking confused. “And where would that be?”
“The men’s room. Come on.”
Kris let Tommy pull him around the next corner and into the men’s bathroom (he was sure he’d caught a few people shooting odd glances their way). Fortunately, the area was vacant, saving them the trouble of adding more odd glances to their growing collection as Tommy pushed Kris into an empty stall.
“This is going to take awhile,” Kris admitted. “We don’t even know when he checked in!”
“Krissifer, I know what I’m doing,” Tommy smirked. “I asked my pal to look in on Lambert’s check-in info too, of course. He arrived yesterday morning, so check the more recent entries.”
“You should be in the CIA or something,” Kris remarked, quickly thumbing through the registry. “It’s a job that’s very fitting of you. Oh look! Here it is; Eber Lambert, room 1506.”
“Good,” Tommy nodded. “The elevator’s just down the hall; we won’t get caught.”
“…are you sure you haven’t been here before?” Kris wrinkled his nose, pushing Tommy out into the hall. “You seem to know this place awfully well.”
“I was here with Cale last week. He got a bonus and treated me to a three-day, two-night stay.”
“…you’re still walking. I’m amazed.”
“Perish the thought, Kristopher,” Tommy pressed the call button. “You’re definitely not the subtle one in this relationship. Now, you go on up there and know what you need to know. I’m going to have to return what we stole. I’ll be right here when you’re done, okay?”
“…you think I’ll be able to do it?”
“Honey, you can do anything,” Tommy hugged him tightly. “Now, go on up before I change my mind and come after you.”
Kris swallowed hard and stepped into the elevator, exhaling harshly when the metal doors closed in on him. He had no idea how to explain things to Adam’s father, but that was the least of his problems. The sadness was creeping over him like a cloak once again, making him feel like falling to his knees and crying. It still stunned him how one family could be the victim of so much tragedy; and Adam Lambert was at the center of it all, beautiful, successful, broken and the love of Kris’ life.
Steeling himself, he exited the elevator as soon as it came to a stop, wiping furiously at his eyes. In all honesty, he’d be reluctant to talk to some teary-eyed kid in a Henley if he were Eber Lambert. It would be so much easier to turn his back and walk away, but he’d learned that simply turning his back on his problems would bring even more heartache.
He was done playing the role of the coward.
He drew in a deep breath before knocking on Eber’s hotel room door, wondering what their next move would be if their target wasn’t actually home. Fortunately-and perhaps, a little unfortunately-for him, the door swung open, revealing an older man that reminded him just a little of Adam.
“May I help you?”
“Uhm, yes, actually,” Kris wrung his hands in sheer nervousness. “I’m Kris Allen, Adam Lambert’s personal assistant. I know I should lie and say Adam sent me over, but a friend of a friend did some digging and told me you were staying here. I know this is weird and that I’m babbling and I’m really not supposed to be here, but I really don’t know what else to say.”
He wanted to crawl under the potted plant and die. Even he didn’t understand what on earth he had been babbling about for the past ten or twenty seconds.
“You know, it’s just like that idiot to hire someone like you,” Eber chuckled. “Come in, come in. I bet that son of mine is working you too hard.”
Kris followed the older man into the room, still reeling from the shock of not getting the door slammed in his face. Maybe Tommy was right; it could be his ‘puppy face’ doing all the magic.
“I’m in town to see the boys, actually,” Eber explained. “Archie called me some time last week to tell me that he’s back living with Adam now. I didn’t know whether to strangle the kid or praise him for having the guts to escape the dumpster they forced him to stay in.”
“I was there the night he arrived at the manor,” Kris said softly. “He looked scared to death.”
“I feel like an ass for not being able to claim guardianship of him as soon as things exploded,” Eber sighed. “Adam and I were shit scared when he was reported missing; no one knew where he was. When he called me from the orphanage about two or three months ago, I nearly got a heart attack. Everyone thought he was dead, so it was insanely terrific to hear from him again. I immediately drove over to take him home, but his fucker of a father showed up claiming he got first dibs on Archie as the biological parent. While social services agreed that it wasn’t safe for Archie to go back to Jeff Archuleta, they wouldn’t allow me to take him back just yet because his father could do something that would possibly get him into more danger. To keep grounds neutral, they figured it was best for him to stay there while the matter was being settled in court. Apparently, Archie decided things for himself, as he did the smart thing and ran to Adam. It’s going to be difficult for social services and Archuleta to take him back because no one can give the boy the kind of life Adam is giving him right now.”
“That explains things,” Kris exhaled. “Mister Lambert, this is the reason for my visit. I can’t simply deal with fragments of a story; I’m too involved with everything now, and it would be cowardly to turn my back when I’m already waist-deep in. I’ve been in Adam’s space for almost two months; I can’t have any less.”
“I can tell you care about him,” Eber remarked thoughtfully. “No one has ever cared about him this much outside the family given his attitude. He wasn’t always like this, though; you know what I mean when I say circumstances change people. Just like every teenager, he went through a trying time in high school, struggling with his sexuality and his self-loathing. It pained us to see him standing in front of a mirror critiquing his own appearance when he had so much talent to offer to the world. I don’t know if you’ve heard him sing, but he has an amazing voice. He didn’t think it was enough, though; so he worked on his self-image and came to look like the man you know today. He didn’t need the makeover, but it helped bump up his confidence and even jumpstart his career.”
“His career?” Kris was confused. “You mean his job as a music executive?”
“You mean he didn’t tell you?” Eber frowned. “Adam was a top-selling recording artist, Kris. He was picked up by Jive Records when he was just twenty-one years old. Almost all his singles were hits and his debut album went platinum. The fact that he was getting to do what he always wanted to do made him so happy. He loved the fame and the privileges that came with it, but he was still the same sweet kid Leila and I raised together. Those were the good days; we were all happy. Then Archuleta began to stock up on his vices, and the rest was history. Adam changed after that. He quit his singing career and left Jive to apply as an executive for RCA. He began to shut himself up in his study with his paperwork and before I knew it, I was left with the shell of a man that used to be my son.”
Kris’ head was spinning. He knew he was going to be able to obtain new information from this visit, but he hadn’t been expecting that Adam had been keeping this much from him. It didn’t make any sense at all. Adam clearly loved music; he invested so much time helping talented young people start their careers. He would spend hours sitting with Archie in the music room, giving him vocal training and issuing constructive criticism on the songs he was working on.
It stung Kris to realize that Adam had been keeping all this from him when he knew how much Kris loved music himself.
“Are you alright, Kris?” Eber asked, sounding worried.
“I…I have to go.”
Kris spun on his heel and fled the room, tears blurring his vision. He felt sick and betrayed. He thought they were friends-probably even on their way to becoming more than that.
He just couldn’t understand why Adam couldn’t trust him with this.
“…Kris?” Tommy ran up to him as soon as he stepped into the lobby. “Holy fuck, what happened? Why are you crying? Kris, talk to me!”
Kris pressed his face into Tommy’s shoulder, finally allowing the tears to run freely.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“Holy crap, what happened?”
Cale met them in the main hall, looking surprised and concerned at the sight of Kris’ tear-streaked face. Kris shook his head and walked past him, practically burrowing himself into the sofa.
“What happened?” he heard Cale ask Tommy.
“I’m not too sure myself. I took him to see Adam’s father today, and the next thing I know, he was stumbling out of the elevator in tears.”
“Shoot, he must have learned something he didn’t want to hear.”
Kris felt part of the sofa dip with Cale’s weight. A warm hand-most likely Tommy’s-settled itself into his hair, scratching his scalp affectionately.
“What did you hear, Kris?” Cale asked him softly. “We need to know; we can’t help you if we don’t.”
“…Adam was a famous musician. He never told me that.”
Tommy and Cale fell silent. They probably understood why that seemingly insignificant bit of news bothered Kris so much; they knew about his dreams, after all.
“It’s a stupid reason to get all worked up, I’m sure,” he sniffled into Tommy’s lap. “But Adam’s my boss and my friend; it never occurred to me to look him up on Google because that would be disrespectful of our friendship. He knew how much I loved music; he knew that I came here to give the music industry a shot. I just don’t understand why he couldn’t tell me…”
“Maybe he has his reasons, Kris,” Cale suggested. “We all have secrets that we simply want to keep. It’s strange that none of us have ever heard of him before, though. If he was as famous as his father said he was, then I’m sure we would have seen him on TV or heard him over the radio.”
“…or maybe we have but we just didn’t realize it,” Tommy remarked thoughtfully. “I have a feeling he wasn’t using his real name at that time and probably looked very different from the way he looks now. Give me a few minutes; I can probably pull something out of the hat.”
The blond dug his laptop out of his backpack, busying himself with trying to find whatever it is they were looking for. Kris moved off his lap and burrowed into Cale’s, kind of desperate for any kind of human contact right now. He had a feeling that he would run off and do something foolish if there was no one to hold him down. Tommy was still tapping away at his laptop, looking seriously adorable with no makeup on and the butt of a pencil in between his teeth. He could be such a crabby schizo when he felt like it, but he’d stood by Kris all this time and Kris knew he’d be eternally grateful for it.
“I love you, Tommy,” he muttered, his voice muffled by Cale’s lap. “I love Cale, too.”
“As long as you’re not saying ‘I love you’ to Cale’s penis, then I will return the love three-fold.”
“You can keep Cale’s penis; I don’t need it.”
“Why the fuck are we talking about my penis, anyway?”
“So Kris won’t burst into tears anytime soon,” Tommy replied primly. “Besides, it’s one of my favorite topics. You should be flattered; I don’t say this about just anything.”
“I love you and I’m going to fuck you tonight,” Cale promised. “On a more serious note, are you getting anywhere? You look a little frustrated.”
“I am, actually,” Tommy admitted. “Help me out a little here, won’t you? About five years ago, I was asked to temporarily play bass for this band called The Citizen Vein. I’m sure the name rings a bell; they were one of the hottest glam rock acts before they disbanded two years ago when their vocalist left. I don’t remember his real name because I only played one show with them, but the timing fits perfectly. Here, have a look.”
He turned the laptop around to face Kris. Standing in the foreground of the photograph was a tall, pale young man with spiky dark hair streaked with electric blue highlights and a fully made up face. He exuded sensuality and stardom, looking sinfully delightful in a strange silver-blue jacket studded with spikes and other metal things Kris couldn’t even identify. His eyes never changed, though; and Kris knew them all too well by now to not know who they belonged to.
“…it’s Adam,” he whispered, the sting of betrayal branding a harsh mark on his heart.
“It all makes sense now,” Tommy nodded sagely. “His stage name was Glambert. Isolate the letter G from the rest of it, and you get Lambert.”
Kris pushed himself off the sofa, feeling a burst of anger overpower the sadness. He snatched the ring of keys Adam had left him, determined to find out what other secrets the music executive could be withholding. It had never occurred to him to explore the forbidden rooms before, as he felt it would be an intrusion of Adam’s privacy. Circumstances were different now, though; he just couldn’t deal with this rationally anymore.
“Kris, what the hell are you doing?” Cale caught up to him, grabbing his arm.
“…let me go,” Kris said quietly, freeing himself from Cale’s grip. “I need to see for myself if this is real.”
“How are you going to prove it, honey?” Tommy asked wearily. “And what good is going to come out of it if you do? It’s just going to make you more miserable.”
“I know it’s going to hurt,” Kris sighed. “But maybe I need to feel the hurt; I don’t know if I’m angry or if I’m upset, and it’s killing me. I just…I just need to understand.”
“…okay,” Tommy nodded. “But remember that you don’t have to do anything that makes you upset.”
“Tommy, I promised you I’m not going to run anymore,” Kris smiled sadly. “If I can’t face this, it means that I’ve failed. I’m in love with this man; I have to bear that cross."
“We should give him space, baby,” Cale put a hand on Tommy’s shoulder. “Kris, we’ll be going back to Tommy’s place. If you need us, just call.”
“You’d better call,” Tommy said fiercely, pulling him in for a hug. “I’ll kill Adam if I have to.”
“Thanks, guys. I mean it.”
He waited for the front door to swing shut before making his way to the north wing of the mansion. The layout of the corridor was similar to that of the east and west wing-three bedrooms with two on one side and a larger one on the opposite. Inhaling sharply, he inserted the first key on the ring (the labels were a big help) into the lock of the largest room and stepped inside. It looked like the rest of the rooms in the mansion, bright and airy with a floral motif going on. Unlike the rooms that he had been to so far, this one looked impersonal and unused.
Adam was a master of keeping secrets; he wouldn’t leave things lying in plain sight.
Kris made his way to the walk-in closet across the room and threw the doors open. The contents of the closet were nothing short of what a high-profile rockstar would have. Dozens of highly-detailed coats, jackets and pants dripping with studs and gemstones took up at least half of the room. The other half was littered with all kinds of outlandish boots and jewelry. Compacts and bottles containing every kind of makeup imaginable lined the dresser. Each item in the room contained a part of the memory that constituted the flamboyant, confident young man that once dominated the charts and the airwaves. Somehow, being there amidst all the strange things that glittered too much made Kris feel even closer to Adam.
Shivering slightly, he made his way back to the bedroom, proceeding to open every drawer available. Each compartment yielded stacks of photos, news clippings and other visual paraphernalia from Adam’s rockstar days. He was smiling in almost all of the photos, looking more alive than Kris had ever seen him before. Opening the bottom drawers revealed what he had been looking for, though-The Citizen Vein’s only album. He was quite familiar with some of the songs thanks to airplay and MTV, but glam rock had never been his most favorite genre, so he hadn’t been too impressed. However, there was some other CD labeled ‘Take One (Unreleased Tracks)’ tucked in along with it. Curious, he nicked it from the drawer and used the stereo in the stereo in the corner of the room to play it. The intro to the first track was surprisingly mellow; it was something Kris would have never expected from a glam rock band.
Hearing Adam’s voice, though, instigated a completely different feeling.
The songs in this album lacked the heavy bass riffs, intricate instrumentals and spine-tingling glory notes that were prevalent in the band’s official debut album. The musician in Kris knew why this album had been left unreleased-it probably would have tanked if it had been. Most of the songs sounded the same, if not a bit dull. An artist known for his insane vocal range and raunchy image would raise more than a few eyebrows if he attempted to release something completely out of his trademark genre. However, the sheer poetic quality of the lyrics and the mix of longing and sadness in Adam’s voice tugged at Kris’ heartstrings. Only a true artist could evoke such emotion in songs that clearly did not belong in his stage repertoire. He had probably worked on this album when his personal life was starting to fall apart. It was his farewell to the career he loved so much-the one thing in life he has been truly passionate about.
Kris crumpled to the floor, his chest heaving with sobs. It was all too much to take in.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Kris flinched as he heard the front door swing shut. It was the announcement of Adam’s arrival-one he should have been welcoming instead of dreading.
“I’m so fucking exhausted,” he heard Adam say. “Some people are just so difficult to work with-”
Kris took in the look of shock on Adam’s face. He’d brought down some of the things from Adam’s secret room, scattering photos and some articles of clothing around the living room so Adam would get the point.
“…where the fuck did you get these?” Adam’s expression contorted into one of quiet fury.
“Don’t play games with me, Adam,” Kris turned away, afraid he would crack under the weight of that gaze. “How could you not tell me about this? I would have understood. I would have understood everything.”
“I don’t have to tell you everything, Kris!” Adam exploded. “We have a professional relationship; I am not entitled to tell you every single detail of my personal life!”
Kris’ mouth went dry upon hearing the stinging words. They had clearly gone beyond the boundaries of ‘professional’; the sex, the cuddling, the actual friendship-had all that meant nothing to Adam?
“…I can’t believe that’s all it was to you,” he said quietly. “I guess I assumed wrong; maybe the tabloids were right. This is probably the reason why they make you out to be such a…such a bastard. You lead people on, but you leave them bruised and battered on the ground when you’re tired of them.”
“Shut the fuck up!” Adam growled, snatching up a piece of fine china and hurling it against the wall. “You don’t know anything about me, Kris!”
“And you’re probably right about that, too…” Kris whispered, squeezing his eyes shut. “I thought you were a brave, passionate man that stopped at nothing to keep what he loves close to him. I admired that front you put up, Adam; you were the person I always wanted to be. But learning how you shut away this part of your life and pretend it didn’t exist just kills me. I know you had your reasons for giving up your passion, but I just can’t bring myself to understand that now. I probably sound like a child, but trust is important to me. I lost everything I had in Arkansas; I have a hard time trusting people now because I’ve been hurt so many times. I trusted you; I really did.”
“You kept things from me, too, Kris,” Adam sneered. “I know nothing about your past. I’ve told you so much about mine, but you never told me about yours. How’s that for uneven?”
“I failed at everything, okay?” Kris slammed his palm against the coffee table, eyes ablaze with anger. “I was ready to marry a woman I once loved, only to find out that she’d betrayed my trust by getting pregnant with the child of a man she’d been seeing behind my back! My entire life was one giant pity party. I may not have a story as dramatic as yours, but I have no will left to love. Do you know how empty that makes me feel? Do you know how it feels to fear a broken heart?”
“You’re weak,” Adam said icily. “You even deluded yourself into believing that what we had was something special. If you have no will left to love, then I have no will to even want to fall in love.”
Kris rose to his feet, swinging his backpack over his shoulder and picking up his suitcase from the floor.
He was too exhausted to fight any more.
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Adam hissed, grabbing his arm.
“Let me go,” Kris muttered, trying to keep his voice steady. “I’m getting out of your hair once and for all-this means I’m quitting my job. Have a nice life, Mister Lambert.”
He dropped his set of keys into a shocked Adam’s hand and quickly exited via the main door.
He didn’t want to look back and see something that could keep him there.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Voices. Kris could hear them outside his door.
He rolled over on his side and sat up, wondering what was going on. He’d been holed up in Tommy’s room for what seemed to be like days, too tired and empty to do much of anything else besides sleep. Tommy had been shocked to see him on the doorstep with all his luggage, but he’d let him in anyway, holding Kris until his tears finally subsided. He’d cried for an embarrassingly long time, but Tommy-bless his soul-had never said a word. Instead, he’d curled up with Kris under the covers, watching sad movies with him or letting him cry on his shoulder when he felt the need to.
Kris could have never asked for a better friend.
The rest of his friends had come by as well, bearing comfort food and big hugs. Nobody ever asked him about what happened, which he was more than grateful for. Cale, Allison and David hardly left his side, only taking off when they absolutely had to. Brad and Cassidy also came by occasionally, assuring Kris that he did no wrong and that Adam was a selfish jerk who had let the best thing in his life slip away. Archie also dropped by when he was free, spending his time curled up by Kris’ side and holding his hand in a death grip.
He was slowly starting to feel better, though-at least, better enough to crawl out of Tommy’s room.
“What’s going on?” he asked groggily, squinting at the people assembled in the apartment’s living area. “Why are you all here looking like someone did something stupid again?”
“Aren’t we always behaving like fools?” Cassidy asked, an amused smile gracing his lips.
“Except for Tommy,” Brad shot him a dirty look. “The kid knows his stuff.”
“And you’d better be glad I do,” Tommy snorted. “Because you were screeching your ass off at Lambert this morning without getting anything done-well, both of you were screeching at each other; not to mention you were bringing up irrelevant things.”
“I’m irrelevant when I’m angry,” Brad huffed. “I think he was pissed at me for showing up to knock some sense into him, so he started hitting me where he knew it would hurt. But I have to admit, Tommy’s right; we shouldn’t have wasted time arguing about our past relationship.”
“You’re too much alike, petal,” Cassidy soothed him. “This is why I think you understand him best.”
“Excuse me, confused human being here,” Kris raised his hand. “What exactly is going on?”
“Cheeks here marched over to Adam’s at ass o’clock in the morning to give him a sermon,” David rolled his eyes. “Obviously, that didn’t work out well.”
“At least I tried!” Brad snapped. “I don’t see the rest of you coming up with better ideas.”
“Truce!” Cale interrupted them. “Nothing is going to happen if we pick fights with each other, okay? We’ll need to come up with a better strategy, and that requires teamwork.”
“You didn’t answer my question,” Kris sighed, curling up next to Allison on the floor.
“We’re trying to get Adam to pull his head out of his ass,” the magenta-haired girl declared. “He’s being an idiot and is clearly denying himself of the best thing to ever walk into his life-you.”
“Come on, guys,” Kris shook his head. “You don’t have to do this; judging by the way things went some days ago, we were over before we even happened. He told me he didn’t care.”
“Liar!” Brad was positively fuming. “He’s totally in the denial stage! He does this all the time, and I hate it. When his pride is at stake, he pushes all his real feelings aside and makes up half a dozen lies just so he won’t be the one begging. This is exactly why I broke up with the moron; he’s so stupid!”
“His mood swings have gone from bad to worse,” Archie sighed, looking miserable. “When he’s not shut up in the Bellflower Room gazing idly out the window, he’s yelling at the next available living thing within his line of sight. It’s like, seriously terrible. I can’t get any sleep at night because I worry about him so much.”
“Poor baby,” David pressed a kiss to his forehead, making the smaller boy squirm in his lap. “It proves that Kris’ departure really has an effect on Adam.”
“But before we do anything else, we have to make sure Kris wants this,” Tommy pointed out. “No matter how much we want them to be together, it would be disrespectful if Kris doesn’t want to make amends with Adam. What do you want, Kris? I need to know.”
Kris was silent for a bit. Love never died a quick death-that he was sure of.
“…you know it’s love when it doesn’t go away all that quickly, right?”
“And we have our answer,” Cale grinned. “I’m proud of you, Kris; you’re not shying away from your problems. You’re keeping true to yourself.”
“I did run away, though,” Kris said unhappily, wrapping his arms around his bent knees, drawing them close to his chest. “I could have stayed and reasoned things out with him-”
Kris gasped, pressing his palm against his cheek, feeling the sting of Tommy’s slap.
“…Tommy?”
“I didn’t want to do that, but I had to,” the bleach blond musician knelt next to him and pulled him into a hug. “I hate it when you put the blame on yourself, pretty boy. Stop thinking about the could-have-beens and start thinking about what you can do now to fix things between you. Pardon the slap, but you can be a bit of an idiot sometimes; I know you’d do the same thing for me-well, you probably wouldn’t land a slap on my face, but you get the idea.”
“I love you, Tommy,” Kris murmured into his shoulder. “I really, really love you.”
“I know you do,” Tommy squeezed him tightly before letting go. “Okay, let’s be reasonable and think about what we can do. What Brad and I wanted to do this morning obviously didn’t work out, so doing an angry mob thing and ambushing Lambert Manor is way out of the question. We need something a little bit subtler; something non-invasive that will still get his attention.”
“The thing is, we suck at being subtle,” David remarked. “Most of us-except Cassidy, Kris and Archie-let our tempers get the best of us, so another negotiation attempt is probably out of the question. Personally, I think the ball is in Adam’s court now. Brad and Tommy may not have been able to get things done, but Adam probably got the message that Kris isn’t ready to give up on them yet. If Kris didn’t want anything to do with him, Brad and Tommy may not have showed up at all.”
“Brilliant,” Cassidy nodded. “The best we can do is watch out for signs-I think Brad, Archie and I can take care of that. We frequent Lambert Manor a lot, anyway, so we can keep an eye on any changes in Adam’s behavior. We can give him a few nudges in the right direction, but nothing too big.”
“Kris, if you need something to hang on to, let me tell you this,” Brad reached for his hands. “Adam loves you; I am two-hundred percent sure of this. Why? I used to be the one he loved, and I know the look in his eyes when he’s in love. The way he looks at you is a lot like the way he used to look at me, but there’s a gentleness in his eyes that he never used to have. He’s a good guy, Kris-just afraid of getting hurt again. I’m sure you know how he feels because you’ve been there, too. If you can sort things out between the two of you, you could have an actual healthy relationship with him. Unlike us, you guys aren’t doomed to crash and burn. You could be good for each other, Kris.”
“You definitely know how to say it right,” Kris beamed at him. “Thank you; I don’t feel like holing up in Tommy’s room for another three days anymore.”
“Actually, you were holed up in there for three and a half,” Allison informed him. “We thought you were never going to come out.”
“Adam,” Brad rolled his eyes. “He has that effect on people; but not to worry, I’m sure he’s doing some introspective thinking of his own right now. Anyway, let’s ignore him for now-I’m starving and I’m in the mood for some pizza.”
“Best idea of the day!” David grinned, whipping out his iPhone. “So, how many eighteen-inch Manhattan Meatlovers are we going to finish today?”
As his friends discussed the details of their pizza order, Kris wandered over to the mini balcony for a whiff of fresh air. He’d already promised everyone that he would avoid thinking about Adam for awhile, but the man was like a virus coursing through Kris’ veins. There were only two ways out: either flush it out of his system or take it in deeper until his body fully absorbed the poison.
Only time-and Adam’s conscience-would tell.
A Harlequin Kradam Story
By: Lady Michaelis
Main Characters: Adam Lambert, Kris Allen
Supporting Characters: Tommy Joe Ratliff, Cale Mills, David Cook, Allison Iraheta, David Archuleta, Bradley ‘Cheeks’ Bell, Cassidy Haley
Guest Appearances: Kimberly Allen, Matt Giraud, Ryan Seacrest, Carrie Underwood, Michael Johns, Carly Smithson, Katy Perry, Eber Lambert, Tim Urban
Pairings: Adam Lambert/Kris Allen, Cale Mills/Tommy Joe Ratliff, David Cook/David Archuleta, Cassidy Haley/Brad Bell (hints of non-romantic Kris Allen/Tommy Joe Ratliff)
Rating: PG - NC17
Warnings: Graphic sexual situations, voyeurism, four-way intercourse, foul language
Genre: Romance/Mystery/Drama/Humor
Prompt/Summary: After a devastating breakup, Kris needs to get away from his small town, where everybody knows his name-and every single painful detail of his failed engagement. He needs a change of scene, and his first small step: answering big-shot music executive Adam Lambert's Housekeeper Wanted advertisement! Adam is a cutthroat businessman, and has enough secrets to fill his palatial mansion to overflowing. But will Kris glimpse the compassionate man beneath the roughened exterior? And will Adam let Kris get close enough to reawaken his faith in love?
Disclaimers: The title was taken from One Republic’s “Mercy”. I don’t own anyone-except random extras that may litter this story here and there. All other “formalities” aside, go forth and indulge yourself.
PART FOUR: WHAT POISONS THE HEART
I’m so lost in you
A tragedy it seemed to be, but what now?
What now?
A tragedy it seemed to be, but what now?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It was difficult to begin plotting his next course of action when that ultimately meant breaking the bond of trust that had formed between him and Adam.
He’d had a long talk with Tommy and Allison about his issues at Spiraling Down the other day, and they had both come to the conclusion that Kris needed to find out more than what he actually knew. This would mean playing dirty, but it was the only Kris could protect himself. He had been hurt before; he had no desire for it to happen again. He felt that he had already fallen down the rabbit hole, and he needed to know if following the White Rabbit would lead to his beheading at the hand of the Queen of Hearts.
Kris figured he would start small, which meant striking up a conversation with Archie. They had a good rapport going on, and it seemed Archie trusted him enough.
“Kris, hi!” the aforementioned boy exclaimed, shutting the front door behind him. “Gosh, we had a quiz in biology today and I think I did terrible, haha. I really don’t have any idea why they ask music majors to study these things; it’s not like I need to know what uhm, the Turner syndrome is to be able to understand my course. I just don’t see the relevance at all, gosh…”
“Relax, Archie,” Kris smiled in spite of himself. “Come to the kitchen; I have some milk and cookies out. It’s a very Santa Claus kind of snack, but it’s all we have right now. Adam forgot to stop by the grocery last night; he had an emergency meeting with Bieber’s management.”
“Adam always works too hard,” Archie sighed, hoisting himself up onto a stool. “Every time I see him, he’s bent over a ledger or talking to someone on the phone. Sometimes, I feel like I’m looking at a completely different person. He used to be so happy and like, really fun to be with when we were younger. He never cared that I was ten years younger than he was and not his brother by blood; he would drop everything-his friends, his schoolwork, his relaxation time-to be with me if I needed him.”
“He loves you very much, you know?” Kris found himself saying. “He’s gotten some of that spark back because he found you again.”
“I know; and I’m happy about that,” Archie sighed. “The beating incident probably affected him more than it did me, actually. The night I got back, he told me how scared he was that he couldn’t find me. He said he had a hard time going to sleep at night because he was so worried about my safety. I was really scared too, being in that orphanage and all. The people there were kind of, uhm, nasty; I thought they would do something bad to me if I tried to contact home. All I could do was pray that Eber or Adam would find me and take me back home.”
“Eber?”
“Eber Lambert is Adam’s father,” Archie replied. “I see him as mine, too. I was kind of surprised when Adam told me he chose to stay in San Diego instead of coming to live in this huge house with Adam. I really thought they were going to stick together, especially after what happened to Mom.”
“Have you been to see your mother, Archie?” Kris asked softly.
“…I visit her whenever I can, actually,” Archie admitted, blinking away tears. “It just really hurts to see her like that, you know? She doesn’t recognize me; she never even looks at me anymore. When she gets into one of her episodes and the people in the white coats have to sedate her or something, my heart just…it just breaks. Oh gosh, I’m such a baby. I shouldn’t-”
“Arch, it’s alright to cry,” Kris put his arms around the trembling boy. “You’ve been through so much, and you’ve been so brave-you and Adam both. She’s your mother; you love her and can’t stand to see her wallowing in her pain. It’s okay to feel scared and to cry sometimes; you have to let it out. My Mama once told me that if you keep your sadness bottled up inside me for too long, you’re just going to end up shattering under all the pressure. Crying doesn’t make you a baby.”
“It’s just---it’s just so crazy, you know?” Archie sobbed into Kris’ shoulder, clutching at him like a lifeline. “When the people at the orphanage enrolled me at a public high school, everyone just kept giving me these pitying looks. The entire school knew me as the boy with the abusive father and the confined mother; they avoided me like the plague. It was just…so awful.”
“Not everyone in this world has a kind soul, Archie,” Kris pressed a kiss to the younger boy’s forehead. “Some people just enjoy mocking other people’s misery.”
“…they suck,” Archie sniffed. “The worst thing was, I couldn’t even protect myself. As a kid, I always had Eber and Adam. I guess I got used to it.”
“I think you’re ready to stand up for yourself now, though. It took a lot of courage to openly share what you just told me. When you feel like you can’t do it anymore, remember that we’re all here to help you out, okay? No one’s going to leave you biting the dust of the haters.”
“…that’s what Cook told me, too,” Archie flushed, burying his face into Kris’ shoulder.
“You like him, don’t you?” Kris asked teasingly. “You’ve been going out with him a lot lately. Allison tells me it’s weird not to see you at your usual table at Spiraling Down. She also tells me that David has been neglecting some of his bartending duties so he can perform stupid magic tricks in front of you.”
“Oh my gosh, the first time was so embarrassing!” Archie flailed. “He pulled a flower from behind my ear, and I just-I just went really red and almost ran out of the club…”
“I’m kind of jealous of you, you know?” Kris laughed shortly. “You and David have this incredible, amazing thing going on, and there’s really nothing to worry about because everything is going the way it should. Me? I’m this runaway from Arkansas who’s got nothing on him but a sordid past and a failed engagement. Then I get pulled straight into the life of this rich, scary guy and I’m suddenly running errands for him and cooking his meals. That was the way it was supposed to be. I wasn’t supposed to want to get to know him and sit by his side while he watches over his little brother. I wasn’t supposed to come to some party with him, meet his friends and feel like his princess. I wasn’t supposed to have made out with him at said party and wake up naked next to him. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love all over again…”
“Oh, you love Adam,” Archie whispered, his tone reverent.
“I never wanted to, Archie,” Kris squeezed his eyes shut. “Every time I go near him, there’s this voice in my head telling me I should take a step back to save myself from probable hurt; but then he looks so sad or so happy that I can’t help but want to share those emotions with him. I can’t leave him alone, Archie. He’s like this drug that refuses to flush itself out of my system.”
“Maybe you should, uhm, let the feelings in,” Archie suggested. “Maybe if you give this love you feel for him a chance, you’d stop getting all these emotional migraines. I know you’re scared of him not loving you back, but hear me out for a second, please. I know my brother, Kris. Ever since the incident, he’s never been too showy or too generous when it comes to his emotions. If he extended even just a smidgen of care to you, know that there’s something there. He’s probably scared too, Kris. So…give him a chance.”
“That’s the best advice I’ve received all week,” Kris chuckled weakly, wiping at his eyes. “Don’t tell Tommy, though; he’s intent on mothering me until Adam decides to ‘man up’. And god, I wish I would stop crying for even just one second; I feel like a teenage girl.”
“It’s okay, Kris,” Archie leaned in for another hug. “It’s okay to cry.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Kris didn’t have much time to worry for the next few weeks. Things had gotten busy, and he found himself running twice the number of errands he usually did for Adam. The music executive seemed to be getting crankier and crankier as the days passed (Johns had informed Kris that Bieber’s management was inordinately demanding when he’d picked up the phone once) and he had gone back to his nightly routine of shutting himself in the Bellflower Room while yelling at people over the phone. Johns had come over a few times, and he’d join Adam in the yelling spree. Sometimes, he would bring Carly along, and she ended up sitting with Kris in silence while the men in their lives behaved like total workaholics.
Still, there had been a few good days amidst the bad. Adam would actually leave his study to nose his way into Kris’ lap. They would end up in the strangest places-the verandas overlooking the gardens, the vestibule, the winery-simply lying on their backs and gazing at each other. Sometimes, they would kiss. Sometimes, Kris would give Adam a backrub to ease the tension away. Other times, they would just fall asleep, tucked into each other like a pair of kid gloves. It was a very strange thing to do, but Kris believed they both found some comfort in the habit.
A few days later, Kris found himself alone in the mansion with Archie. Adam had taken to spending nights at RCA, feverishly working on beating his deadlines. His phone calls became more and more infrequent, which gave Kris leeway to worry about him more than he usually did. Just when he thought his head was about to explode, Tommy had come bearing good news. By sheer coincidence, his cop friend had strolled into the donut shop-the cliché about cops liking donuts was completely true in his case-at eight o’clock in the morning. The only other customer in the shop was a middle-aged man with graying sandy blond hair and a copy of the Wall Street Journal in his hand. When the girl at the cashier announced that the coffee for Eber Lambert was ready, the cop nearly spit his donut into his own drink.
Two hours later, Tommy was on his doorstep, yelling for him to come down.
Kris had never gotten a more embarrassing wake-up call in his life. He’d yelled at Tommy-okay, maybe it was seriously weird for them to be yelling at each other through an open window on the second floor-to let himself in with the spare key, but the blond shook his head and told Kris he had news that probably couldn’t wait.
Consequently, he and Tommy were now in a cab en route to Sunset Tower Hotel, Eber Lambert’s temporary place of residence. Kris had tried to weasel his way out of the trip, claiming he had no idea what to say to Adam’s father and that he could be arrested for stalking. Tommy, however, had won the argument again; he simply said that it was for Kris’ own peace of mind.
“If I end up in the police station, you’re totally bailing me out,” the Southern boy grumbled.
“I don’t think so, Allen,” Tommy replied primly. “I’d be in the slammer with you. What kind of a friend would I be if I left you in the slammer all by your lonesome? Besides, I’ve always been curious about getting locked in-for minor offenses, of course.”
“You and your weird kinks,” Kris muttered. “I seriously hope you and Cale don’t do roleplays of like, cops and convicts. The very idea sends chills running down my spine.”
“Chills of the bad kind?”
“Well…”
They conversed loosely for the rest of the ride in an attempt to tame Kris’ frazzled nerves. Tommy was going to be accompanying him inside the hotel, but they both agreed that it would be best for Kris to see Eber Lambert alone-if they could manage to work out a way to see him, that was.
“So, do you have an epic plan in your head right now?” Kris asked as soon as they had stepped into the hotel lobby. “Because I seriously have no idea how we’re going to go about this.”
“All we need is some time with the logbook,” Tommy remarked thoughtfully, eyeing the concierge area with cold, calculating eyes. “You think they’d fall for our tricks when neither of us are good actors? You have no poker face…and I have too much of one.”
Kris groaned. “What did you have in mind? I’m kind of too scared to ask.”
“Well, you’re pretty and it’s impossible to say no to you,” Tommy sized him up. “And I’m clearly the sneakier one, so you’ll be doing the distracting and I’ll take care of the looking.”
“But what am I supposed to do?” Kris panicked. “I can’t pretend to be a pregnant Russian woman!”
“…dude, whatever gave you that idea?” Tommy stared at him.
“Uhhhhh, they do stuff like that in spy movies?”
“…looks like I’m not the only one who’s been watching too much TV. Come on, baby boy; nothing’s going to happen if we just stand here talking for the rest of forever.”
“But what the heck are we going to do?” Kris hissed.
“Make up something. Use your charm.”
Before Kris could get another word in edgewise, Tommy looped an arm around him and smiled brightly at the lady manning the concierge. She was blond and tiny, sort of like a Katybot wearing too much makeup.
Kris felt like strangling her.
“Hi, my boyfriend and I have this little problem in our room,” Tommy said. “Apparently, you guys have a bit of a termite situation going on.”
“Oh goodness, I am so sorry, sir!” the woman’s eyes widened in surprise. “I’ll send someone up there immediately. It may take awhile--”
“No, you don’t understand,” Kris interrupted her. “This is a big day for us. His parents are coming over in an hour, and we can’t have them sitting on half-eaten furniture, can we? This is going to be my first time meeting them, and I can’t afford to have them think that we’re living like this.”
He buried his face in Tommy’s shoulder, hoping the lady would buy his fake crying act.
It seemed to work, though, as the woman immediately picked up the phone to ask for a room change. With a discreet wink, Tommy untangled himself from Kris and made a quick grab for the hotel registry, quickly stuffing it into his bag before the Katybot turned back to them.
“Score,” he whispered in Kris’ ear. “Now, to go where she can’t follow us.”
“Huh?” Kris blinked, looking confused. “And where would that be?”
“The men’s room. Come on.”
Kris let Tommy pull him around the next corner and into the men’s bathroom (he was sure he’d caught a few people shooting odd glances their way). Fortunately, the area was vacant, saving them the trouble of adding more odd glances to their growing collection as Tommy pushed Kris into an empty stall.
“This is going to take awhile,” Kris admitted. “We don’t even know when he checked in!”
“Krissifer, I know what I’m doing,” Tommy smirked. “I asked my pal to look in on Lambert’s check-in info too, of course. He arrived yesterday morning, so check the more recent entries.”
“You should be in the CIA or something,” Kris remarked, quickly thumbing through the registry. “It’s a job that’s very fitting of you. Oh look! Here it is; Eber Lambert, room 1506.”
“Good,” Tommy nodded. “The elevator’s just down the hall; we won’t get caught.”
“…are you sure you haven’t been here before?” Kris wrinkled his nose, pushing Tommy out into the hall. “You seem to know this place awfully well.”
“I was here with Cale last week. He got a bonus and treated me to a three-day, two-night stay.”
“…you’re still walking. I’m amazed.”
“Perish the thought, Kristopher,” Tommy pressed the call button. “You’re definitely not the subtle one in this relationship. Now, you go on up there and know what you need to know. I’m going to have to return what we stole. I’ll be right here when you’re done, okay?”
“…you think I’ll be able to do it?”
“Honey, you can do anything,” Tommy hugged him tightly. “Now, go on up before I change my mind and come after you.”
Kris swallowed hard and stepped into the elevator, exhaling harshly when the metal doors closed in on him. He had no idea how to explain things to Adam’s father, but that was the least of his problems. The sadness was creeping over him like a cloak once again, making him feel like falling to his knees and crying. It still stunned him how one family could be the victim of so much tragedy; and Adam Lambert was at the center of it all, beautiful, successful, broken and the love of Kris’ life.
Steeling himself, he exited the elevator as soon as it came to a stop, wiping furiously at his eyes. In all honesty, he’d be reluctant to talk to some teary-eyed kid in a Henley if he were Eber Lambert. It would be so much easier to turn his back and walk away, but he’d learned that simply turning his back on his problems would bring even more heartache.
He was done playing the role of the coward.
He drew in a deep breath before knocking on Eber’s hotel room door, wondering what their next move would be if their target wasn’t actually home. Fortunately-and perhaps, a little unfortunately-for him, the door swung open, revealing an older man that reminded him just a little of Adam.
“May I help you?”
“Uhm, yes, actually,” Kris wrung his hands in sheer nervousness. “I’m Kris Allen, Adam Lambert’s personal assistant. I know I should lie and say Adam sent me over, but a friend of a friend did some digging and told me you were staying here. I know this is weird and that I’m babbling and I’m really not supposed to be here, but I really don’t know what else to say.”
He wanted to crawl under the potted plant and die. Even he didn’t understand what on earth he had been babbling about for the past ten or twenty seconds.
“You know, it’s just like that idiot to hire someone like you,” Eber chuckled. “Come in, come in. I bet that son of mine is working you too hard.”
Kris followed the older man into the room, still reeling from the shock of not getting the door slammed in his face. Maybe Tommy was right; it could be his ‘puppy face’ doing all the magic.
“I’m in town to see the boys, actually,” Eber explained. “Archie called me some time last week to tell me that he’s back living with Adam now. I didn’t know whether to strangle the kid or praise him for having the guts to escape the dumpster they forced him to stay in.”
“I was there the night he arrived at the manor,” Kris said softly. “He looked scared to death.”
“I feel like an ass for not being able to claim guardianship of him as soon as things exploded,” Eber sighed. “Adam and I were shit scared when he was reported missing; no one knew where he was. When he called me from the orphanage about two or three months ago, I nearly got a heart attack. Everyone thought he was dead, so it was insanely terrific to hear from him again. I immediately drove over to take him home, but his fucker of a father showed up claiming he got first dibs on Archie as the biological parent. While social services agreed that it wasn’t safe for Archie to go back to Jeff Archuleta, they wouldn’t allow me to take him back just yet because his father could do something that would possibly get him into more danger. To keep grounds neutral, they figured it was best for him to stay there while the matter was being settled in court. Apparently, Archie decided things for himself, as he did the smart thing and ran to Adam. It’s going to be difficult for social services and Archuleta to take him back because no one can give the boy the kind of life Adam is giving him right now.”
“That explains things,” Kris exhaled. “Mister Lambert, this is the reason for my visit. I can’t simply deal with fragments of a story; I’m too involved with everything now, and it would be cowardly to turn my back when I’m already waist-deep in. I’ve been in Adam’s space for almost two months; I can’t have any less.”
“I can tell you care about him,” Eber remarked thoughtfully. “No one has ever cared about him this much outside the family given his attitude. He wasn’t always like this, though; you know what I mean when I say circumstances change people. Just like every teenager, he went through a trying time in high school, struggling with his sexuality and his self-loathing. It pained us to see him standing in front of a mirror critiquing his own appearance when he had so much talent to offer to the world. I don’t know if you’ve heard him sing, but he has an amazing voice. He didn’t think it was enough, though; so he worked on his self-image and came to look like the man you know today. He didn’t need the makeover, but it helped bump up his confidence and even jumpstart his career.”
“His career?” Kris was confused. “You mean his job as a music executive?”
“You mean he didn’t tell you?” Eber frowned. “Adam was a top-selling recording artist, Kris. He was picked up by Jive Records when he was just twenty-one years old. Almost all his singles were hits and his debut album went platinum. The fact that he was getting to do what he always wanted to do made him so happy. He loved the fame and the privileges that came with it, but he was still the same sweet kid Leila and I raised together. Those were the good days; we were all happy. Then Archuleta began to stock up on his vices, and the rest was history. Adam changed after that. He quit his singing career and left Jive to apply as an executive for RCA. He began to shut himself up in his study with his paperwork and before I knew it, I was left with the shell of a man that used to be my son.”
Kris’ head was spinning. He knew he was going to be able to obtain new information from this visit, but he hadn’t been expecting that Adam had been keeping this much from him. It didn’t make any sense at all. Adam clearly loved music; he invested so much time helping talented young people start their careers. He would spend hours sitting with Archie in the music room, giving him vocal training and issuing constructive criticism on the songs he was working on.
It stung Kris to realize that Adam had been keeping all this from him when he knew how much Kris loved music himself.
“Are you alright, Kris?” Eber asked, sounding worried.
“I…I have to go.”
Kris spun on his heel and fled the room, tears blurring his vision. He felt sick and betrayed. He thought they were friends-probably even on their way to becoming more than that.
He just couldn’t understand why Adam couldn’t trust him with this.
“…Kris?” Tommy ran up to him as soon as he stepped into the lobby. “Holy fuck, what happened? Why are you crying? Kris, talk to me!”
Kris pressed his face into Tommy’s shoulder, finally allowing the tears to run freely.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“Holy crap, what happened?”
Cale met them in the main hall, looking surprised and concerned at the sight of Kris’ tear-streaked face. Kris shook his head and walked past him, practically burrowing himself into the sofa.
“What happened?” he heard Cale ask Tommy.
“I’m not too sure myself. I took him to see Adam’s father today, and the next thing I know, he was stumbling out of the elevator in tears.”
“Shoot, he must have learned something he didn’t want to hear.”
Kris felt part of the sofa dip with Cale’s weight. A warm hand-most likely Tommy’s-settled itself into his hair, scratching his scalp affectionately.
“What did you hear, Kris?” Cale asked him softly. “We need to know; we can’t help you if we don’t.”
“…Adam was a famous musician. He never told me that.”
Tommy and Cale fell silent. They probably understood why that seemingly insignificant bit of news bothered Kris so much; they knew about his dreams, after all.
“It’s a stupid reason to get all worked up, I’m sure,” he sniffled into Tommy’s lap. “But Adam’s my boss and my friend; it never occurred to me to look him up on Google because that would be disrespectful of our friendship. He knew how much I loved music; he knew that I came here to give the music industry a shot. I just don’t understand why he couldn’t tell me…”
“Maybe he has his reasons, Kris,” Cale suggested. “We all have secrets that we simply want to keep. It’s strange that none of us have ever heard of him before, though. If he was as famous as his father said he was, then I’m sure we would have seen him on TV or heard him over the radio.”
“…or maybe we have but we just didn’t realize it,” Tommy remarked thoughtfully. “I have a feeling he wasn’t using his real name at that time and probably looked very different from the way he looks now. Give me a few minutes; I can probably pull something out of the hat.”
The blond dug his laptop out of his backpack, busying himself with trying to find whatever it is they were looking for. Kris moved off his lap and burrowed into Cale’s, kind of desperate for any kind of human contact right now. He had a feeling that he would run off and do something foolish if there was no one to hold him down. Tommy was still tapping away at his laptop, looking seriously adorable with no makeup on and the butt of a pencil in between his teeth. He could be such a crabby schizo when he felt like it, but he’d stood by Kris all this time and Kris knew he’d be eternally grateful for it.
“I love you, Tommy,” he muttered, his voice muffled by Cale’s lap. “I love Cale, too.”
“As long as you’re not saying ‘I love you’ to Cale’s penis, then I will return the love three-fold.”
“You can keep Cale’s penis; I don’t need it.”
“Why the fuck are we talking about my penis, anyway?”
“So Kris won’t burst into tears anytime soon,” Tommy replied primly. “Besides, it’s one of my favorite topics. You should be flattered; I don’t say this about just anything.”
“I love you and I’m going to fuck you tonight,” Cale promised. “On a more serious note, are you getting anywhere? You look a little frustrated.”
“I am, actually,” Tommy admitted. “Help me out a little here, won’t you? About five years ago, I was asked to temporarily play bass for this band called The Citizen Vein. I’m sure the name rings a bell; they were one of the hottest glam rock acts before they disbanded two years ago when their vocalist left. I don’t remember his real name because I only played one show with them, but the timing fits perfectly. Here, have a look.”
He turned the laptop around to face Kris. Standing in the foreground of the photograph was a tall, pale young man with spiky dark hair streaked with electric blue highlights and a fully made up face. He exuded sensuality and stardom, looking sinfully delightful in a strange silver-blue jacket studded with spikes and other metal things Kris couldn’t even identify. His eyes never changed, though; and Kris knew them all too well by now to not know who they belonged to.
“…it’s Adam,” he whispered, the sting of betrayal branding a harsh mark on his heart.
“It all makes sense now,” Tommy nodded sagely. “His stage name was Glambert. Isolate the letter G from the rest of it, and you get Lambert.”
Kris pushed himself off the sofa, feeling a burst of anger overpower the sadness. He snatched the ring of keys Adam had left him, determined to find out what other secrets the music executive could be withholding. It had never occurred to him to explore the forbidden rooms before, as he felt it would be an intrusion of Adam’s privacy. Circumstances were different now, though; he just couldn’t deal with this rationally anymore.
“Kris, what the hell are you doing?” Cale caught up to him, grabbing his arm.
“…let me go,” Kris said quietly, freeing himself from Cale’s grip. “I need to see for myself if this is real.”
“How are you going to prove it, honey?” Tommy asked wearily. “And what good is going to come out of it if you do? It’s just going to make you more miserable.”
“I know it’s going to hurt,” Kris sighed. “But maybe I need to feel the hurt; I don’t know if I’m angry or if I’m upset, and it’s killing me. I just…I just need to understand.”
“…okay,” Tommy nodded. “But remember that you don’t have to do anything that makes you upset.”
“Tommy, I promised you I’m not going to run anymore,” Kris smiled sadly. “If I can’t face this, it means that I’ve failed. I’m in love with this man; I have to bear that cross."
“We should give him space, baby,” Cale put a hand on Tommy’s shoulder. “Kris, we’ll be going back to Tommy’s place. If you need us, just call.”
“You’d better call,” Tommy said fiercely, pulling him in for a hug. “I’ll kill Adam if I have to.”
“Thanks, guys. I mean it.”
He waited for the front door to swing shut before making his way to the north wing of the mansion. The layout of the corridor was similar to that of the east and west wing-three bedrooms with two on one side and a larger one on the opposite. Inhaling sharply, he inserted the first key on the ring (the labels were a big help) into the lock of the largest room and stepped inside. It looked like the rest of the rooms in the mansion, bright and airy with a floral motif going on. Unlike the rooms that he had been to so far, this one looked impersonal and unused.
Adam was a master of keeping secrets; he wouldn’t leave things lying in plain sight.
Kris made his way to the walk-in closet across the room and threw the doors open. The contents of the closet were nothing short of what a high-profile rockstar would have. Dozens of highly-detailed coats, jackets and pants dripping with studs and gemstones took up at least half of the room. The other half was littered with all kinds of outlandish boots and jewelry. Compacts and bottles containing every kind of makeup imaginable lined the dresser. Each item in the room contained a part of the memory that constituted the flamboyant, confident young man that once dominated the charts and the airwaves. Somehow, being there amidst all the strange things that glittered too much made Kris feel even closer to Adam.
Shivering slightly, he made his way back to the bedroom, proceeding to open every drawer available. Each compartment yielded stacks of photos, news clippings and other visual paraphernalia from Adam’s rockstar days. He was smiling in almost all of the photos, looking more alive than Kris had ever seen him before. Opening the bottom drawers revealed what he had been looking for, though-The Citizen Vein’s only album. He was quite familiar with some of the songs thanks to airplay and MTV, but glam rock had never been his most favorite genre, so he hadn’t been too impressed. However, there was some other CD labeled ‘Take One (Unreleased Tracks)’ tucked in along with it. Curious, he nicked it from the drawer and used the stereo in the stereo in the corner of the room to play it. The intro to the first track was surprisingly mellow; it was something Kris would have never expected from a glam rock band.
Hearing Adam’s voice, though, instigated a completely different feeling.
The songs in this album lacked the heavy bass riffs, intricate instrumentals and spine-tingling glory notes that were prevalent in the band’s official debut album. The musician in Kris knew why this album had been left unreleased-it probably would have tanked if it had been. Most of the songs sounded the same, if not a bit dull. An artist known for his insane vocal range and raunchy image would raise more than a few eyebrows if he attempted to release something completely out of his trademark genre. However, the sheer poetic quality of the lyrics and the mix of longing and sadness in Adam’s voice tugged at Kris’ heartstrings. Only a true artist could evoke such emotion in songs that clearly did not belong in his stage repertoire. He had probably worked on this album when his personal life was starting to fall apart. It was his farewell to the career he loved so much-the one thing in life he has been truly passionate about.
Kris crumpled to the floor, his chest heaving with sobs. It was all too much to take in.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Kris flinched as he heard the front door swing shut. It was the announcement of Adam’s arrival-one he should have been welcoming instead of dreading.
“I’m so fucking exhausted,” he heard Adam say. “Some people are just so difficult to work with-”
Kris took in the look of shock on Adam’s face. He’d brought down some of the things from Adam’s secret room, scattering photos and some articles of clothing around the living room so Adam would get the point.
“…where the fuck did you get these?” Adam’s expression contorted into one of quiet fury.
“Don’t play games with me, Adam,” Kris turned away, afraid he would crack under the weight of that gaze. “How could you not tell me about this? I would have understood. I would have understood everything.”
“I don’t have to tell you everything, Kris!” Adam exploded. “We have a professional relationship; I am not entitled to tell you every single detail of my personal life!”
Kris’ mouth went dry upon hearing the stinging words. They had clearly gone beyond the boundaries of ‘professional’; the sex, the cuddling, the actual friendship-had all that meant nothing to Adam?
“…I can’t believe that’s all it was to you,” he said quietly. “I guess I assumed wrong; maybe the tabloids were right. This is probably the reason why they make you out to be such a…such a bastard. You lead people on, but you leave them bruised and battered on the ground when you’re tired of them.”
“Shut the fuck up!” Adam growled, snatching up a piece of fine china and hurling it against the wall. “You don’t know anything about me, Kris!”
“And you’re probably right about that, too…” Kris whispered, squeezing his eyes shut. “I thought you were a brave, passionate man that stopped at nothing to keep what he loves close to him. I admired that front you put up, Adam; you were the person I always wanted to be. But learning how you shut away this part of your life and pretend it didn’t exist just kills me. I know you had your reasons for giving up your passion, but I just can’t bring myself to understand that now. I probably sound like a child, but trust is important to me. I lost everything I had in Arkansas; I have a hard time trusting people now because I’ve been hurt so many times. I trusted you; I really did.”
“You kept things from me, too, Kris,” Adam sneered. “I know nothing about your past. I’ve told you so much about mine, but you never told me about yours. How’s that for uneven?”
“I failed at everything, okay?” Kris slammed his palm against the coffee table, eyes ablaze with anger. “I was ready to marry a woman I once loved, only to find out that she’d betrayed my trust by getting pregnant with the child of a man she’d been seeing behind my back! My entire life was one giant pity party. I may not have a story as dramatic as yours, but I have no will left to love. Do you know how empty that makes me feel? Do you know how it feels to fear a broken heart?”
“You’re weak,” Adam said icily. “You even deluded yourself into believing that what we had was something special. If you have no will left to love, then I have no will to even want to fall in love.”
Kris rose to his feet, swinging his backpack over his shoulder and picking up his suitcase from the floor.
He was too exhausted to fight any more.
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Adam hissed, grabbing his arm.
“Let me go,” Kris muttered, trying to keep his voice steady. “I’m getting out of your hair once and for all-this means I’m quitting my job. Have a nice life, Mister Lambert.”
He dropped his set of keys into a shocked Adam’s hand and quickly exited via the main door.
He didn’t want to look back and see something that could keep him there.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Voices. Kris could hear them outside his door.
He rolled over on his side and sat up, wondering what was going on. He’d been holed up in Tommy’s room for what seemed to be like days, too tired and empty to do much of anything else besides sleep. Tommy had been shocked to see him on the doorstep with all his luggage, but he’d let him in anyway, holding Kris until his tears finally subsided. He’d cried for an embarrassingly long time, but Tommy-bless his soul-had never said a word. Instead, he’d curled up with Kris under the covers, watching sad movies with him or letting him cry on his shoulder when he felt the need to.
Kris could have never asked for a better friend.
The rest of his friends had come by as well, bearing comfort food and big hugs. Nobody ever asked him about what happened, which he was more than grateful for. Cale, Allison and David hardly left his side, only taking off when they absolutely had to. Brad and Cassidy also came by occasionally, assuring Kris that he did no wrong and that Adam was a selfish jerk who had let the best thing in his life slip away. Archie also dropped by when he was free, spending his time curled up by Kris’ side and holding his hand in a death grip.
He was slowly starting to feel better, though-at least, better enough to crawl out of Tommy’s room.
“What’s going on?” he asked groggily, squinting at the people assembled in the apartment’s living area. “Why are you all here looking like someone did something stupid again?”
“Aren’t we always behaving like fools?” Cassidy asked, an amused smile gracing his lips.
“Except for Tommy,” Brad shot him a dirty look. “The kid knows his stuff.”
“And you’d better be glad I do,” Tommy snorted. “Because you were screeching your ass off at Lambert this morning without getting anything done-well, both of you were screeching at each other; not to mention you were bringing up irrelevant things.”
“I’m irrelevant when I’m angry,” Brad huffed. “I think he was pissed at me for showing up to knock some sense into him, so he started hitting me where he knew it would hurt. But I have to admit, Tommy’s right; we shouldn’t have wasted time arguing about our past relationship.”
“You’re too much alike, petal,” Cassidy soothed him. “This is why I think you understand him best.”
“Excuse me, confused human being here,” Kris raised his hand. “What exactly is going on?”
“Cheeks here marched over to Adam’s at ass o’clock in the morning to give him a sermon,” David rolled his eyes. “Obviously, that didn’t work out well.”
“At least I tried!” Brad snapped. “I don’t see the rest of you coming up with better ideas.”
“Truce!” Cale interrupted them. “Nothing is going to happen if we pick fights with each other, okay? We’ll need to come up with a better strategy, and that requires teamwork.”
“You didn’t answer my question,” Kris sighed, curling up next to Allison on the floor.
“We’re trying to get Adam to pull his head out of his ass,” the magenta-haired girl declared. “He’s being an idiot and is clearly denying himself of the best thing to ever walk into his life-you.”
“Come on, guys,” Kris shook his head. “You don’t have to do this; judging by the way things went some days ago, we were over before we even happened. He told me he didn’t care.”
“Liar!” Brad was positively fuming. “He’s totally in the denial stage! He does this all the time, and I hate it. When his pride is at stake, he pushes all his real feelings aside and makes up half a dozen lies just so he won’t be the one begging. This is exactly why I broke up with the moron; he’s so stupid!”
“His mood swings have gone from bad to worse,” Archie sighed, looking miserable. “When he’s not shut up in the Bellflower Room gazing idly out the window, he’s yelling at the next available living thing within his line of sight. It’s like, seriously terrible. I can’t get any sleep at night because I worry about him so much.”
“Poor baby,” David pressed a kiss to his forehead, making the smaller boy squirm in his lap. “It proves that Kris’ departure really has an effect on Adam.”
“But before we do anything else, we have to make sure Kris wants this,” Tommy pointed out. “No matter how much we want them to be together, it would be disrespectful if Kris doesn’t want to make amends with Adam. What do you want, Kris? I need to know.”
Kris was silent for a bit. Love never died a quick death-that he was sure of.
“…you know it’s love when it doesn’t go away all that quickly, right?”
“And we have our answer,” Cale grinned. “I’m proud of you, Kris; you’re not shying away from your problems. You’re keeping true to yourself.”
“I did run away, though,” Kris said unhappily, wrapping his arms around his bent knees, drawing them close to his chest. “I could have stayed and reasoned things out with him-”
Kris gasped, pressing his palm against his cheek, feeling the sting of Tommy’s slap.
“…Tommy?”
“I didn’t want to do that, but I had to,” the bleach blond musician knelt next to him and pulled him into a hug. “I hate it when you put the blame on yourself, pretty boy. Stop thinking about the could-have-beens and start thinking about what you can do now to fix things between you. Pardon the slap, but you can be a bit of an idiot sometimes; I know you’d do the same thing for me-well, you probably wouldn’t land a slap on my face, but you get the idea.”
“I love you, Tommy,” Kris murmured into his shoulder. “I really, really love you.”
“I know you do,” Tommy squeezed him tightly before letting go. “Okay, let’s be reasonable and think about what we can do. What Brad and I wanted to do this morning obviously didn’t work out, so doing an angry mob thing and ambushing Lambert Manor is way out of the question. We need something a little bit subtler; something non-invasive that will still get his attention.”
“The thing is, we suck at being subtle,” David remarked. “Most of us-except Cassidy, Kris and Archie-let our tempers get the best of us, so another negotiation attempt is probably out of the question. Personally, I think the ball is in Adam’s court now. Brad and Tommy may not have been able to get things done, but Adam probably got the message that Kris isn’t ready to give up on them yet. If Kris didn’t want anything to do with him, Brad and Tommy may not have showed up at all.”
“Brilliant,” Cassidy nodded. “The best we can do is watch out for signs-I think Brad, Archie and I can take care of that. We frequent Lambert Manor a lot, anyway, so we can keep an eye on any changes in Adam’s behavior. We can give him a few nudges in the right direction, but nothing too big.”
“Kris, if you need something to hang on to, let me tell you this,” Brad reached for his hands. “Adam loves you; I am two-hundred percent sure of this. Why? I used to be the one he loved, and I know the look in his eyes when he’s in love. The way he looks at you is a lot like the way he used to look at me, but there’s a gentleness in his eyes that he never used to have. He’s a good guy, Kris-just afraid of getting hurt again. I’m sure you know how he feels because you’ve been there, too. If you can sort things out between the two of you, you could have an actual healthy relationship with him. Unlike us, you guys aren’t doomed to crash and burn. You could be good for each other, Kris.”
“You definitely know how to say it right,” Kris beamed at him. “Thank you; I don’t feel like holing up in Tommy’s room for another three days anymore.”
“Actually, you were holed up in there for three and a half,” Allison informed him. “We thought you were never going to come out.”
“Adam,” Brad rolled his eyes. “He has that effect on people; but not to worry, I’m sure he’s doing some introspective thinking of his own right now. Anyway, let’s ignore him for now-I’m starving and I’m in the mood for some pizza.”
“Best idea of the day!” David grinned, whipping out his iPhone. “So, how many eighteen-inch Manhattan Meatlovers are we going to finish today?”
As his friends discussed the details of their pizza order, Kris wandered over to the mini balcony for a whiff of fresh air. He’d already promised everyone that he would avoid thinking about Adam for awhile, but the man was like a virus coursing through Kris’ veins. There were only two ways out: either flush it out of his system or take it in deeper until his body fully absorbed the poison.
Only time-and Adam’s conscience-would tell.