LETTERS (Part Twelve of Fifteen)
LETTERS
A Kradam Romance in Fifteen Parts
Chapter Twelve: A Turn for the Better
By: Lady Michaelis
Pairing: Adam Lambert/Kris Allen, Cale Mills/Cassidy Haley
Rating: PG - NC17
Warnings: Sexual situations, voyeurism, foul language
Genre: Romance/Drama/Humor
Summary: Kris Allen never thought he would find a friend in the form of an old letter.
Disclaimers:I will never, ever own Kradam (or any of the other characters here, for that matter). If you know anyone featured in this fic - or worse, if you find your name here - please don’t kill me. What happens here may not be happening in real time right now, but they probably will sooner or later. Just you wait, you non-tinhatters. Just you wait.
KrisAllen @cassidyhaley @calevis24 Need to talk to you guys later.
8:15 AM from Echofon
cassidyhaley @KrisAllen Boy, it’s eight-thirty in the morning. Why the heck are you up?
about one minute ago from mobile web
calevis24 @KrisAllen Mmmmmmph wtf still sleeping here!
about one minute ago from txt
KrisAllen @cassidyhaley @calevis24 It’s about Adam. Very...juicy.
8:33 AM from Echofon
cassidyhaley @KrisAllen 30 more minutes - is that okay? @calevis24 is still sleepy.
about three seconds ago from mobile web
KrisAllen @cassidyhaley K. Later.
8:37 AM from Echofon
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Kris tucked his iPhone back under his pillow before rolling over, his eyes immediately locking on to Adam’s sleeping form. In respite, the dark-haired singing sensation was peaceful. His ribcage expanded and retracted gently, and his closed lids - which were framed by those long, dark lashes - quivered ever so slightly, evidence of a deep, fulfilling slumber.
The very sight of him put a knife through Kris’ heart.
In most films that he’d watched and in most books that he’d read, one of the two lovers would always leave the bed before the other, always out of guilt over the previous night’s events. It irritated Kris to have to sit though another half hour or another ten chapters of guilt and angst when the problem didn’t even exist in the first place. Love-making was consensual, which meant that neither of the two parties should feel guilty about anything, especially because they’d both agreed to rip off their clothes and tumble into bed. Obviously, all the time they’d spend moping and crying would be rendered useless after suddenly realizing that everything was perfectly okay. Those types of films and movies usually ended with some cheesy kiss in an airport or a church wedding, and he would usually end it right before the said scenes. Each time he’d seen something that ended that way, he’d made a silent vow to himself that he would never behave that pathetically when he got involved with someone.
This was the very reason why Kris Allen had forced himself to wake up early just so Adam wouldn’t even think of slinking out on him. Still, it was taking a lot of courage to just stay there instead of running downstairs himself to curl up with Cale and Cassidy on the sofa.
Well, maybe he would talk to them in the kitchen. The sofa would need to be dry-cleaned first.
He was glad that Adam was such a heavy sleeper because he still needed time to sort out what he was going to say the moment the man woke up. He knew he liked Adam a lot, but he was unsure of the rockstar’s feelings for him. Based on how they’d been behaving around each other for the past two weeks, there was definitely something. He couldn’t say that Adam liked him as much as he liked Adam, but he wouldn’t have flirted - or slept - with Kris if he didn’t. He had to approach this carefully, because deep inside, Adam was a sensitive soul and could flip out over the slightest misunderstanding if Kris didn’t choose his words well.
“...Kris?”
Adam’s voice made his heart jump. It was groggy, muffled and tired - the kind of bedroom voice Kris had always wanted to wake up to.
“Yeah?” he responded shyly.
“How are you feeling?”
Adam pulled himself up to a sitting position, his hair sticking up wildly in all possible directions and the remnants of last night’s eyeliner smeared underneath his eyelids. Without really thinking, Kris reached out and wiped away the remaining bits of kohl with his thumb, feeling his heart swell at the sudden look of vulnerability in Adam’s eyes.
“...it’s painful”, he managed to choke out, grabbing Adam’s palm and pressing it to his chest. “When you - when you look at me like that, it’s like...I can’t even breathe. I feel this insane, numbing pain in my chest, but at the same time, it’s like there’s this intense joy trying to beat its way out of me. And when all those feelings finally leave me, the only word left on my tongue is your name.”
“Jesus, Kris...” Adam reached for him, his voice hoarse. “I don’t - oh god, Kris, I...”
A sob tore itself out of the confines of Kris’ throat. He threw himself at Adam, feeling a sudden rush of dizziness encompass his very being. Strong arms wrapped themselves around his smaller frame and held him close, making Kris feel safe.
“It’s okay, sweetheart”, Adam murmured reassuringly, pressing a kiss to Kris’ hairline. “I’ve got you.”
He felt like a fool sobbing into the chest of the man he had just slept with. He couldn’t even understand why Adam was comforting him, simply holding him close and peppering kisses all over his face.
“...I’m so sorry”, he managed to mumble when his tears had reduced themselves to sniffles. “The words just flew out of my mouth, so...”
“Don’t apologize”, Adam clutched him tighter. “That was the most beautiful thing anyone could ever tell me, Kris. To be honest, I was scared that I’d wake up to an empty bed because of how things ended up last night. I shouldn’t have jumped you like that...damn, that was stupid of me.”
“No, Adam”, Kris pulled away to look him in the eye. “I was the idiot masturbating to our friends in a private moment. I was so far gone by the time you showed up, so I didn’t resist you.”
“I just want to know, Kris”, Adam buried his face into Kris’ hair. “Are you - are you gay?”
“I don’t really know”, Kris admitted. “When Cale and I were in college, he brought a lot of porn DVDs to our dorm room. He and some of our dorm mates would jack off to them, but they just didn’t affect me one bit. One time, he had some gay porn because he was at that experimental stage in his life, so we decided to give it a shot - it got me all hot and bothered. At that time, I didn’t know how to handle the situation. It scared me that I had fantasies of bottoming for another man because I didn’t know what my family and my church community would think. I tried to push the thoughts away, but they just came coming back. When I heard Cassidy and Cale last night, everything I ever tried to lock away came flooding back in full force. And when you touched me, I just had to give in. I wanted it all so bad...”
Adam was silent. He sat there, continuing to pet Kris’ hair.
“...I like you, Kris”, he finally said. “You’re very talented and you have such a great personality. I feel so at home with you because you don’t give a fuck if I lounge around in pajamas with no makeup on. You make me feel like I’m worth something even if I’m not belting my lungs out onstage decked in leather and lace. I must admit that I’ve been...harboring desires for you since we first met - it’s all part of me being a gay man - but I want you to know that I would never act on them without your consent. Last night, we were both drunk and horny - though, Christ, the sex was amazing - so I guess that’s pretty forgivable. What I’m saying is that I’m willing to give us a try; you know, test the waters and see if there’s something more? I want to start this right by means of dating and stuff like that.”
“I’d like that, yes”, Kris exhaled. “But...what happens when you leave, Adam? You won’t be here forever because you have a career waiting for you back home.”
“LA isn’t home”, Adam said bitterly. “Well, it certainly doesn’t feel like it. Can we not talk about this for now, Kris? I like where I am right now, and I don’t want to worry about the future just yet.”
“Okay”, Kris nodded. “I’m sorry I asked.”
“I’m sorry I snapped at you”, Adam squeezed him. “It’s just that things aren’t so easy all the time. I love the fame and the glitter, but they can result to endless bouts of migraine.”
“...and I don’t give you a migraine?” Kris asked coyly.
“Idiot”, Adam snorted affectionately. “With a face like that, you could never. You’re my home away from home, Kristopher Allen - wherever it may be.”
“I, for one, think it’s here”, Kris smiled. “Therefore, you are home, Mister Lambert -”
Cassidy and Cale burst into the bedroom, eyes bugging out at the sight of the naked pair cuddling in bed.
“...hot damn”, Cale shook his head. “Was this what you wanted to tell us at eight-thirty in the morning, Allen? Because I would have let Cassidy wake me if I knew you two were screwing.”
“Congratulations, boys”, Cassidy smirked, leaning against the doorframe. “No wonder Kris was so urgent with his Tweets this morning.”
“You Tweeted them about the sex?” Adam arched an eyebrow, looking amused.
“Not really!” Kris flailed. “I was scared that things would turn out differently, and I Tweeted for them to stay just in case I needed shoulders to cry on.”
“And you now have mine, sweetie”, Adam pressed a sloppy kiss to his cheek. “Good morning, guys - did you have a good fuck last night?”
“I told you we were too loud!” Cassidy hissed, bopping Cale on the shoulder. “They heard us while they were fucking, so we must have been louder.”
“Not my fault you’re such a screamer”, Cale winked at him.
“Okay, can we stop discussing sex for now?” Kris asked. “I’m hungry and I want to make brunch - not to mention I am sticky with all sorts of body fluids all over my skin.”
“Lunch while smelling of sex”, Adam sighed dramatically. “What a terrible ordeal.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“Here, let me get that for you.”
Adam reached for the box of Frosties teetering precariously on the top shelf, handing it to Kris, who rewarded him with that lopsided smile he loved so much. The shorter of the two giggled as the rockstar pressed a quick kiss to his forehead, trying not to drop his precious box of cereal. Just a few seconds ago - he had sent Adam to the frozen food aisle for some chicken - he had been standing on his tiptoes, trying to reach for that giant box of Frosties on the top shelf. Now, he was enveloped in the warmest of bear hugs, giggling while Adam peppered kisses all over his face.
It was so reminiscent of those chick flicks Katy really liked watching.
“Adam, we’re going to crash into those canned goods if you don’t let me go!” he laughed. “I like being hugged, but we look ridiculous plastered together in a grocery.”
“Don’t care”, Adam said happily, nuzzling his nose into Kris’ hair. “They can withdraw the damage collateral from my savings account if anything happens - my agent will take care of that.”
“Congratulations on having a backup plan, superstar”, Kris tossed a flirtatious wink at him over his shoulder. “Now, come help me pick out some fruits. I think it would be best to stock up on everything while we still have a chance. The weather report this morning said that there’s going to be a snowstorm in about two or three days, so we probably won’t be leaving the house for awhile.”
“No wonder you were so anal - pun intended - right after lunch”, Adam remarked. “Is this why we are suddenly stocking up on food and emergency supplies?”
“Yes”, Kris replied. “My mother called right before Cassidy and Cale left. She saw it on the news and got scared that I would have to go through it alone. Boy was she relieved when I said you were here!”
“Well, big bad Adam is here to protect his Krissifer”, Adam grinned. “And keep you warm, of course.”
Kris watched with amusement as the taller man practically bounced over to the fruit stand, exclaiming over how shiny the Washington apples were. He felt a sudden rush of joy course through him at simply being with this man, even though they weren’t mutually exclusive to each other yet.
“Baby, look at the size of these bananas!” Adam said gleefully, holding up a bunch of the most phallic fruit Kris had ever laid eyes on. “I’d make some awesome banana splits out of them!”
Kris clapped a hand over his mouth to mask his amusement, but the laughter spilled from his lips, anyway. Adam started laughing too, and they were suddenly pressed against each other, laughing as if they’d just been told the funniest joke in the world. The Southern boy gazed at Adam adoringly, loving the how crow’s feet would appear in the outer corners of the rockstar’s eyes when he laughed. Though the rest of the world was in love with the glam god that he was onstage, Kris loved the man in an old Bowie shirt and faded jeans that was laughing like an idiot with him right now.
“Shit, we should pull ourselves together”, Adam chuckled. “People are starting to stare.”
“But we did pull ourselves together”, Kris beamed at him, gesturing to their proximity. “There isn’t an inch separating us, Adam Mitchel Lambert.”
“Well, there’s none now.”
Kris sighed as Adam leaned forward to capture his lips in a kiss. They hadn’t really set any boundaries when they had their little talk that morning, and as far as Kris was concerned, kissing was totally allowed.
“You have no idea how sexy you are, Allen”, Adam grabbed Kris’ hand and placed it on his crotch. “You’ve got me hard with just a kiss.”
“Oh my gosh, Adam!” Kris was blushing to the roots of his hair. “...it’s a lot harder than those bananas.”
“You’re too much!” Adam burst into laughter again, looping an arm around Kris. “I could just watch you all day - wait, that’s a little creepy.”
“Don’t you even dare”, Kris warned him jokingly. “I get paranoid when people stare at me for too long.”
“But you’re too cute not to be stared at”, Adam continued, tossing a tub of French Silk ice cream into the cart. “You have mannerisms that I’ve never seen on other people before.”
“I could say the same to you, Mister Lambert”, Kris pointed out. “I’ve never lived with someone who has more hair products than I have clothes or a hundred pairs of boots before.”
“I don’t exactly have a hundred”, Adam said thoughtfully. “But now that you mention it, I could aim for that number - or more, even.”
“And you’re going to be able to wear them all?” Kris asked incredulously.
“I think I could, yes.” Adam was dead serious.
“Knowing you, you’ll find a way”, Kris chuckled as he pushed the cart towards the cashier. “Do we have everything on the list?”
“Everything and a few luxuries”, Adam confirmed after a quick double-check with the crumpled piece of paper in his pocket. “We’re going to be just fine, okay?”
“Okay”, Kris smiled before bending over to help Adam unload their shopping cart.
“Charge everything to me”, Adam plunked his credit card down on the counter.
“Are you sure?” Kris asked. “I brought enough money to pay for all this.”
“Kris, we’re living together”, Adam offered patiently. “I want us to be able to split everything equally.”
“Oh my gosh, are you two newlyweds?” the girl at the cashier suddenly perked up. “That’s so cute!”
“Nah, not yet”, Adam explained charmingly, pausing to drop a kiss on Kris’ forehead. “He just agreed to start dating me this morning, and your surveillance cameras have already picked up a little something you may find entertaining on aisle five.”
“Adam!” Kris squeaked.
“Well, it is true”, Adam shrugged. “And it’s not like we were making babies along aisle five.”
“Please pardon my date”, Kris turned to the giggling cashier. “He’s a horny teenager trapped inside the body of a thirty-year-old.”
“Baby, I won’t be thirty until much later!” Adam whined. “I just turned twenty-seven this year!”
“Okay, I’ll stop”, Kris stood on his tiptoes to kiss the underside of Adam’s chin. “As long as you stop talking about the Kradam clean up on aisle five thing.”
“Noted and done”, Adam chirped. “Besides, we won’t be back here until after the snowstorm, and what are the chances that we’re going to be served by the same cashier?”
“I sure hope I see you two again”, the girl giggled, ringing up their bill and handing over the receipt for Adam to sign. “It’s rare that I run into couples who actually seem to love each other.”
“Well, we’re glad we made your day”, Adam chuckled, reaching for the heavier ones among the myriad of grocery bags. “Come on, honey.”
“You’re driving”, Kris handed the keys of Adam’s Ford Mustang back to him. “As you told me this morning, I drive like a grandmother about to suffer a stroke.”
“See? This is why we complement each other so well”, Adam said triumphantly, throwing open the Mustang’s back door so he could load the groceries in. “One is amazingly good at things that the other just can’t get the hang of. You can cook, I burn the kitchen. I can drive, you run over people.”
“So, we’re both hazards on our own?” Kris smiled at Adam over the roof of the car.
“Exactly”, Adam beamed. “I don’t think I’ve ever functioned the way I was supposed to before meeting you, Kristopher Neil Allen.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“So, you had sex with Adam last night.”
Kris sighed and tried to get more comfortable on the stool. He was currently in a three-way phone conversation with Cassidy and Alisan, who wanted to get his story on The Night Before.
“You two should be thankful that Adam’s taking one of his infamous two-hour baths right now, or else I wouldn’t be able to talk”, he muttered. “But yes, I did sleep with him.”
“Is your ass feeling alright?” Cassidy asked dryly. “When Cale first did me, I could feel him in me for days. Last night’s memory is still burned into my ass, apparently.”
“I’m alright”, Kris replied. “We managed to go to the grocery - he was a gentleman about me having trouble walking.”
“How was it?” Alisan asked excitedly. “You don’t have to go into detail - heck, I don’t want you to - but I’m just really curious as to how it happened.”
“He caught me jacking off”, Kris felt his face flush. “”He grabbed me, and we were both intoxicated, so...thing just happened, I guess.”
“...what about the sex itself?” Alisan pressed. “It was your first time, right?”
“...he was amazing.”
Both Alisan and Cassidy began tittering like schoolgirls, which made Kris burst into laughter, all anxious thoughts pushed to the back of his head.
“Have you two done anything remotely couple-y?” Cassidy wanted to know.
“You can check the surveillance tape at the grocery”, Kris went bright red again - he was glad Alisan and Cassidy weren’t actually in the room with him. “Adam kissed me along aisle five.”
“That is so cute!” Alisan gushed. “I’m picturing a chick flick scene right now.”
“Yeah, we were behaving like a couple in a chick flick”, Kris admitted. “”The girl running the cash register even thought that we were newlyweds.”
“...I think this is great”, Cassidy remarked softly. “I’ve never seen Adam so comfortable with a guy in my life. He really likes you, Kris - and I know you like him enough to keep his heart in the right place.”
“I care about Adam a lot, yes”, Kris exhaled. “But to tell you the truth, guys...I’m so scared.”
“Why, sweetie?” Alisan asked. “You know you can talk to us.”
“The fact that he’s a famous rockstar who’s just here on vacation”, Kris sighed. “It’s just going to be one more week, and then he’s going to be out of my life.”
“Don’t think like that, Kris”, Cassidy’s tone was stern yet gentle. “I know Adam genuinely cares about you, so he’s going to find a way to keep in touch. Besides, you want to go to Los Angeles, right? If that has been your dream since the very beginning, don’t you think that you and Adam were destined to meet? Don’t you think he’s the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?”
“I don’t know right now, Cassidy”, Kris inhaled sharply. “It’s just that I love being here in this bubble with all of you, and I don’t want us to forget each other if we go our separate ways.”
“Oh, sweetheart”, Alisan tried to reassure him. “That’s never going to happen - I love you all too much to just forget you. Remember that if I love you, Adam loves you more. Stay positive, Kris. I’m sure this is all going to work out just fine.”
“I hope so”, Kris whispered. “Too many things are scaring me right now - the snowstorm included.”
“Which reminds me, are you guys prepared?” Cassidy asked. “You live beyond the bounds of the town, so I’m quite worried.”
“We’re going to be fine, I’m sure of it”, Kris replied warmly. “We stocked up on food, medicine and other supplies today, so we’re more than prepared, I believe. What about you guys?”
“We’re good, too”, Alisan replied. “My husband’s such a soldier, so I think we’re down for the next two days. And Cassidy, you and Cale are in town, so there’s nothing to worry about.”
“Cale sends his love, by the way”, Cassidy added. “We should all get together when the snow clears up. I would risk visiting you guys tomorrow, but the news reporter said that we should be expecting icy winds and up to five feet of snowfall.”
“That sounds terrible”, Kris gripped the receiver tightly, casting a nervous glance out the window. “It’s starting to fall, but there’s not much so far.”
“I just hope I won’t wake up to news that we’re going to be trapped inside our cabin for god-knows-how-long”, Alisan grumbled. “During the last snowstorm, I couldn’t get out of my house because we got snowed in. We had to wait for the bottom layer to melt before going out again.”
“Well, you guys keep safe”, Cassidy reminded them. “I have to go now; Cale wants me to join him in the shower.”
“Have great shower sex, sweetie”, Alisan teased him. “I should get off now, too - got lots to do.”
“Take care, both of you”, Kris said softly. “I love you guys.”
“Love you too, baby”, Cassidy responded. “See you guys soon.”
Kris carefully replaced the phone on its cradle, and then approached the window. It was strange how the prospect of seeing everything covered in a blanket snow was scaring the living daylights out of him.
All he could do now was wait.
A Kradam Romance in Fifteen Parts
Chapter Twelve: A Turn for the Better
By: Lady Michaelis
Pairing: Adam Lambert/Kris Allen, Cale Mills/Cassidy Haley
Rating: PG - NC17
Warnings: Sexual situations, voyeurism, foul language
Genre: Romance/Drama/Humor
Summary: Kris Allen never thought he would find a friend in the form of an old letter.
Disclaimers:I will never, ever own Kradam (or any of the other characters here, for that matter). If you know anyone featured in this fic - or worse, if you find your name here - please don’t kill me. What happens here may not be happening in real time right now, but they probably will sooner or later. Just you wait, you non-tinhatters. Just you wait.
KrisAllen @cassidyhaley @calevis24 Need to talk to you guys later.
8:15 AM from Echofon
cassidyhaley @KrisAllen Boy, it’s eight-thirty in the morning. Why the heck are you up?
about one minute ago from mobile web
calevis24 @KrisAllen Mmmmmmph wtf still sleeping here!
about one minute ago from txt
KrisAllen @cassidyhaley @calevis24 It’s about Adam. Very...juicy.
8:33 AM from Echofon
cassidyhaley @KrisAllen 30 more minutes - is that okay? @calevis24 is still sleepy.
about three seconds ago from mobile web
KrisAllen @cassidyhaley K. Later.
8:37 AM from Echofon
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Kris tucked his iPhone back under his pillow before rolling over, his eyes immediately locking on to Adam’s sleeping form. In respite, the dark-haired singing sensation was peaceful. His ribcage expanded and retracted gently, and his closed lids - which were framed by those long, dark lashes - quivered ever so slightly, evidence of a deep, fulfilling slumber.
The very sight of him put a knife through Kris’ heart.
In most films that he’d watched and in most books that he’d read, one of the two lovers would always leave the bed before the other, always out of guilt over the previous night’s events. It irritated Kris to have to sit though another half hour or another ten chapters of guilt and angst when the problem didn’t even exist in the first place. Love-making was consensual, which meant that neither of the two parties should feel guilty about anything, especially because they’d both agreed to rip off their clothes and tumble into bed. Obviously, all the time they’d spend moping and crying would be rendered useless after suddenly realizing that everything was perfectly okay. Those types of films and movies usually ended with some cheesy kiss in an airport or a church wedding, and he would usually end it right before the said scenes. Each time he’d seen something that ended that way, he’d made a silent vow to himself that he would never behave that pathetically when he got involved with someone.
This was the very reason why Kris Allen had forced himself to wake up early just so Adam wouldn’t even think of slinking out on him. Still, it was taking a lot of courage to just stay there instead of running downstairs himself to curl up with Cale and Cassidy on the sofa.
Well, maybe he would talk to them in the kitchen. The sofa would need to be dry-cleaned first.
He was glad that Adam was such a heavy sleeper because he still needed time to sort out what he was going to say the moment the man woke up. He knew he liked Adam a lot, but he was unsure of the rockstar’s feelings for him. Based on how they’d been behaving around each other for the past two weeks, there was definitely something. He couldn’t say that Adam liked him as much as he liked Adam, but he wouldn’t have flirted - or slept - with Kris if he didn’t. He had to approach this carefully, because deep inside, Adam was a sensitive soul and could flip out over the slightest misunderstanding if Kris didn’t choose his words well.
“...Kris?”
Adam’s voice made his heart jump. It was groggy, muffled and tired - the kind of bedroom voice Kris had always wanted to wake up to.
“Yeah?” he responded shyly.
“How are you feeling?”
Adam pulled himself up to a sitting position, his hair sticking up wildly in all possible directions and the remnants of last night’s eyeliner smeared underneath his eyelids. Without really thinking, Kris reached out and wiped away the remaining bits of kohl with his thumb, feeling his heart swell at the sudden look of vulnerability in Adam’s eyes.
“...it’s painful”, he managed to choke out, grabbing Adam’s palm and pressing it to his chest. “When you - when you look at me like that, it’s like...I can’t even breathe. I feel this insane, numbing pain in my chest, but at the same time, it’s like there’s this intense joy trying to beat its way out of me. And when all those feelings finally leave me, the only word left on my tongue is your name.”
“Jesus, Kris...” Adam reached for him, his voice hoarse. “I don’t - oh god, Kris, I...”
A sob tore itself out of the confines of Kris’ throat. He threw himself at Adam, feeling a sudden rush of dizziness encompass his very being. Strong arms wrapped themselves around his smaller frame and held him close, making Kris feel safe.
“It’s okay, sweetheart”, Adam murmured reassuringly, pressing a kiss to Kris’ hairline. “I’ve got you.”
He felt like a fool sobbing into the chest of the man he had just slept with. He couldn’t even understand why Adam was comforting him, simply holding him close and peppering kisses all over his face.
“...I’m so sorry”, he managed to mumble when his tears had reduced themselves to sniffles. “The words just flew out of my mouth, so...”
“Don’t apologize”, Adam clutched him tighter. “That was the most beautiful thing anyone could ever tell me, Kris. To be honest, I was scared that I’d wake up to an empty bed because of how things ended up last night. I shouldn’t have jumped you like that...damn, that was stupid of me.”
“No, Adam”, Kris pulled away to look him in the eye. “I was the idiot masturbating to our friends in a private moment. I was so far gone by the time you showed up, so I didn’t resist you.”
“I just want to know, Kris”, Adam buried his face into Kris’ hair. “Are you - are you gay?”
“I don’t really know”, Kris admitted. “When Cale and I were in college, he brought a lot of porn DVDs to our dorm room. He and some of our dorm mates would jack off to them, but they just didn’t affect me one bit. One time, he had some gay porn because he was at that experimental stage in his life, so we decided to give it a shot - it got me all hot and bothered. At that time, I didn’t know how to handle the situation. It scared me that I had fantasies of bottoming for another man because I didn’t know what my family and my church community would think. I tried to push the thoughts away, but they just came coming back. When I heard Cassidy and Cale last night, everything I ever tried to lock away came flooding back in full force. And when you touched me, I just had to give in. I wanted it all so bad...”
Adam was silent. He sat there, continuing to pet Kris’ hair.
“...I like you, Kris”, he finally said. “You’re very talented and you have such a great personality. I feel so at home with you because you don’t give a fuck if I lounge around in pajamas with no makeup on. You make me feel like I’m worth something even if I’m not belting my lungs out onstage decked in leather and lace. I must admit that I’ve been...harboring desires for you since we first met - it’s all part of me being a gay man - but I want you to know that I would never act on them without your consent. Last night, we were both drunk and horny - though, Christ, the sex was amazing - so I guess that’s pretty forgivable. What I’m saying is that I’m willing to give us a try; you know, test the waters and see if there’s something more? I want to start this right by means of dating and stuff like that.”
“I’d like that, yes”, Kris exhaled. “But...what happens when you leave, Adam? You won’t be here forever because you have a career waiting for you back home.”
“LA isn’t home”, Adam said bitterly. “Well, it certainly doesn’t feel like it. Can we not talk about this for now, Kris? I like where I am right now, and I don’t want to worry about the future just yet.”
“Okay”, Kris nodded. “I’m sorry I asked.”
“I’m sorry I snapped at you”, Adam squeezed him. “It’s just that things aren’t so easy all the time. I love the fame and the glitter, but they can result to endless bouts of migraine.”
“...and I don’t give you a migraine?” Kris asked coyly.
“Idiot”, Adam snorted affectionately. “With a face like that, you could never. You’re my home away from home, Kristopher Allen - wherever it may be.”
“I, for one, think it’s here”, Kris smiled. “Therefore, you are home, Mister Lambert -”
Cassidy and Cale burst into the bedroom, eyes bugging out at the sight of the naked pair cuddling in bed.
“...hot damn”, Cale shook his head. “Was this what you wanted to tell us at eight-thirty in the morning, Allen? Because I would have let Cassidy wake me if I knew you two were screwing.”
“Congratulations, boys”, Cassidy smirked, leaning against the doorframe. “No wonder Kris was so urgent with his Tweets this morning.”
“You Tweeted them about the sex?” Adam arched an eyebrow, looking amused.
“Not really!” Kris flailed. “I was scared that things would turn out differently, and I Tweeted for them to stay just in case I needed shoulders to cry on.”
“And you now have mine, sweetie”, Adam pressed a sloppy kiss to his cheek. “Good morning, guys - did you have a good fuck last night?”
“I told you we were too loud!” Cassidy hissed, bopping Cale on the shoulder. “They heard us while they were fucking, so we must have been louder.”
“Not my fault you’re such a screamer”, Cale winked at him.
“Okay, can we stop discussing sex for now?” Kris asked. “I’m hungry and I want to make brunch - not to mention I am sticky with all sorts of body fluids all over my skin.”
“Lunch while smelling of sex”, Adam sighed dramatically. “What a terrible ordeal.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“Here, let me get that for you.”
Adam reached for the box of Frosties teetering precariously on the top shelf, handing it to Kris, who rewarded him with that lopsided smile he loved so much. The shorter of the two giggled as the rockstar pressed a quick kiss to his forehead, trying not to drop his precious box of cereal. Just a few seconds ago - he had sent Adam to the frozen food aisle for some chicken - he had been standing on his tiptoes, trying to reach for that giant box of Frosties on the top shelf. Now, he was enveloped in the warmest of bear hugs, giggling while Adam peppered kisses all over his face.
It was so reminiscent of those chick flicks Katy really liked watching.
“Adam, we’re going to crash into those canned goods if you don’t let me go!” he laughed. “I like being hugged, but we look ridiculous plastered together in a grocery.”
“Don’t care”, Adam said happily, nuzzling his nose into Kris’ hair. “They can withdraw the damage collateral from my savings account if anything happens - my agent will take care of that.”
“Congratulations on having a backup plan, superstar”, Kris tossed a flirtatious wink at him over his shoulder. “Now, come help me pick out some fruits. I think it would be best to stock up on everything while we still have a chance. The weather report this morning said that there’s going to be a snowstorm in about two or three days, so we probably won’t be leaving the house for awhile.”
“No wonder you were so anal - pun intended - right after lunch”, Adam remarked. “Is this why we are suddenly stocking up on food and emergency supplies?”
“Yes”, Kris replied. “My mother called right before Cassidy and Cale left. She saw it on the news and got scared that I would have to go through it alone. Boy was she relieved when I said you were here!”
“Well, big bad Adam is here to protect his Krissifer”, Adam grinned. “And keep you warm, of course.”
Kris watched with amusement as the taller man practically bounced over to the fruit stand, exclaiming over how shiny the Washington apples were. He felt a sudden rush of joy course through him at simply being with this man, even though they weren’t mutually exclusive to each other yet.
“Baby, look at the size of these bananas!” Adam said gleefully, holding up a bunch of the most phallic fruit Kris had ever laid eyes on. “I’d make some awesome banana splits out of them!”
Kris clapped a hand over his mouth to mask his amusement, but the laughter spilled from his lips, anyway. Adam started laughing too, and they were suddenly pressed against each other, laughing as if they’d just been told the funniest joke in the world. The Southern boy gazed at Adam adoringly, loving the how crow’s feet would appear in the outer corners of the rockstar’s eyes when he laughed. Though the rest of the world was in love with the glam god that he was onstage, Kris loved the man in an old Bowie shirt and faded jeans that was laughing like an idiot with him right now.
“Shit, we should pull ourselves together”, Adam chuckled. “People are starting to stare.”
“But we did pull ourselves together”, Kris beamed at him, gesturing to their proximity. “There isn’t an inch separating us, Adam Mitchel Lambert.”
“Well, there’s none now.”
Kris sighed as Adam leaned forward to capture his lips in a kiss. They hadn’t really set any boundaries when they had their little talk that morning, and as far as Kris was concerned, kissing was totally allowed.
“You have no idea how sexy you are, Allen”, Adam grabbed Kris’ hand and placed it on his crotch. “You’ve got me hard with just a kiss.”
“Oh my gosh, Adam!” Kris was blushing to the roots of his hair. “...it’s a lot harder than those bananas.”
“You’re too much!” Adam burst into laughter again, looping an arm around Kris. “I could just watch you all day - wait, that’s a little creepy.”
“Don’t you even dare”, Kris warned him jokingly. “I get paranoid when people stare at me for too long.”
“But you’re too cute not to be stared at”, Adam continued, tossing a tub of French Silk ice cream into the cart. “You have mannerisms that I’ve never seen on other people before.”
“I could say the same to you, Mister Lambert”, Kris pointed out. “I’ve never lived with someone who has more hair products than I have clothes or a hundred pairs of boots before.”
“I don’t exactly have a hundred”, Adam said thoughtfully. “But now that you mention it, I could aim for that number - or more, even.”
“And you’re going to be able to wear them all?” Kris asked incredulously.
“I think I could, yes.” Adam was dead serious.
“Knowing you, you’ll find a way”, Kris chuckled as he pushed the cart towards the cashier. “Do we have everything on the list?”
“Everything and a few luxuries”, Adam confirmed after a quick double-check with the crumpled piece of paper in his pocket. “We’re going to be just fine, okay?”
“Okay”, Kris smiled before bending over to help Adam unload their shopping cart.
“Charge everything to me”, Adam plunked his credit card down on the counter.
“Are you sure?” Kris asked. “I brought enough money to pay for all this.”
“Kris, we’re living together”, Adam offered patiently. “I want us to be able to split everything equally.”
“Oh my gosh, are you two newlyweds?” the girl at the cashier suddenly perked up. “That’s so cute!”
“Nah, not yet”, Adam explained charmingly, pausing to drop a kiss on Kris’ forehead. “He just agreed to start dating me this morning, and your surveillance cameras have already picked up a little something you may find entertaining on aisle five.”
“Adam!” Kris squeaked.
“Well, it is true”, Adam shrugged. “And it’s not like we were making babies along aisle five.”
“Please pardon my date”, Kris turned to the giggling cashier. “He’s a horny teenager trapped inside the body of a thirty-year-old.”
“Baby, I won’t be thirty until much later!” Adam whined. “I just turned twenty-seven this year!”
“Okay, I’ll stop”, Kris stood on his tiptoes to kiss the underside of Adam’s chin. “As long as you stop talking about the Kradam clean up on aisle five thing.”
“Noted and done”, Adam chirped. “Besides, we won’t be back here until after the snowstorm, and what are the chances that we’re going to be served by the same cashier?”
“I sure hope I see you two again”, the girl giggled, ringing up their bill and handing over the receipt for Adam to sign. “It’s rare that I run into couples who actually seem to love each other.”
“Well, we’re glad we made your day”, Adam chuckled, reaching for the heavier ones among the myriad of grocery bags. “Come on, honey.”
“You’re driving”, Kris handed the keys of Adam’s Ford Mustang back to him. “As you told me this morning, I drive like a grandmother about to suffer a stroke.”
“See? This is why we complement each other so well”, Adam said triumphantly, throwing open the Mustang’s back door so he could load the groceries in. “One is amazingly good at things that the other just can’t get the hang of. You can cook, I burn the kitchen. I can drive, you run over people.”
“So, we’re both hazards on our own?” Kris smiled at Adam over the roof of the car.
“Exactly”, Adam beamed. “I don’t think I’ve ever functioned the way I was supposed to before meeting you, Kristopher Neil Allen.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“So, you had sex with Adam last night.”
Kris sighed and tried to get more comfortable on the stool. He was currently in a three-way phone conversation with Cassidy and Alisan, who wanted to get his story on The Night Before.
“You two should be thankful that Adam’s taking one of his infamous two-hour baths right now, or else I wouldn’t be able to talk”, he muttered. “But yes, I did sleep with him.”
“Is your ass feeling alright?” Cassidy asked dryly. “When Cale first did me, I could feel him in me for days. Last night’s memory is still burned into my ass, apparently.”
“I’m alright”, Kris replied. “We managed to go to the grocery - he was a gentleman about me having trouble walking.”
“How was it?” Alisan asked excitedly. “You don’t have to go into detail - heck, I don’t want you to - but I’m just really curious as to how it happened.”
“He caught me jacking off”, Kris felt his face flush. “”He grabbed me, and we were both intoxicated, so...thing just happened, I guess.”
“...what about the sex itself?” Alisan pressed. “It was your first time, right?”
“...he was amazing.”
Both Alisan and Cassidy began tittering like schoolgirls, which made Kris burst into laughter, all anxious thoughts pushed to the back of his head.
“Have you two done anything remotely couple-y?” Cassidy wanted to know.
“You can check the surveillance tape at the grocery”, Kris went bright red again - he was glad Alisan and Cassidy weren’t actually in the room with him. “Adam kissed me along aisle five.”
“That is so cute!” Alisan gushed. “I’m picturing a chick flick scene right now.”
“Yeah, we were behaving like a couple in a chick flick”, Kris admitted. “”The girl running the cash register even thought that we were newlyweds.”
“...I think this is great”, Cassidy remarked softly. “I’ve never seen Adam so comfortable with a guy in my life. He really likes you, Kris - and I know you like him enough to keep his heart in the right place.”
“I care about Adam a lot, yes”, Kris exhaled. “But to tell you the truth, guys...I’m so scared.”
“Why, sweetie?” Alisan asked. “You know you can talk to us.”
“The fact that he’s a famous rockstar who’s just here on vacation”, Kris sighed. “It’s just going to be one more week, and then he’s going to be out of my life.”
“Don’t think like that, Kris”, Cassidy’s tone was stern yet gentle. “I know Adam genuinely cares about you, so he’s going to find a way to keep in touch. Besides, you want to go to Los Angeles, right? If that has been your dream since the very beginning, don’t you think that you and Adam were destined to meet? Don’t you think he’s the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?”
“I don’t know right now, Cassidy”, Kris inhaled sharply. “It’s just that I love being here in this bubble with all of you, and I don’t want us to forget each other if we go our separate ways.”
“Oh, sweetheart”, Alisan tried to reassure him. “That’s never going to happen - I love you all too much to just forget you. Remember that if I love you, Adam loves you more. Stay positive, Kris. I’m sure this is all going to work out just fine.”
“I hope so”, Kris whispered. “Too many things are scaring me right now - the snowstorm included.”
“Which reminds me, are you guys prepared?” Cassidy asked. “You live beyond the bounds of the town, so I’m quite worried.”
“We’re going to be fine, I’m sure of it”, Kris replied warmly. “We stocked up on food, medicine and other supplies today, so we’re more than prepared, I believe. What about you guys?”
“We’re good, too”, Alisan replied. “My husband’s such a soldier, so I think we’re down for the next two days. And Cassidy, you and Cale are in town, so there’s nothing to worry about.”
“Cale sends his love, by the way”, Cassidy added. “We should all get together when the snow clears up. I would risk visiting you guys tomorrow, but the news reporter said that we should be expecting icy winds and up to five feet of snowfall.”
“That sounds terrible”, Kris gripped the receiver tightly, casting a nervous glance out the window. “It’s starting to fall, but there’s not much so far.”
“I just hope I won’t wake up to news that we’re going to be trapped inside our cabin for god-knows-how-long”, Alisan grumbled. “During the last snowstorm, I couldn’t get out of my house because we got snowed in. We had to wait for the bottom layer to melt before going out again.”
“Well, you guys keep safe”, Cassidy reminded them. “I have to go now; Cale wants me to join him in the shower.”
“Have great shower sex, sweetie”, Alisan teased him. “I should get off now, too - got lots to do.”
“Take care, both of you”, Kris said softly. “I love you guys.”
“Love you too, baby”, Cassidy responded. “See you guys soon.”
Kris carefully replaced the phone on its cradle, and then approached the window. It was strange how the prospect of seeing everything covered in a blanket snow was scaring the living daylights out of him.
All he could do now was wait.