rock/me/hardplace.
so im between a rock and a hard place. lately i`ve been packing my things. everything i say, and everything i want to say pisses off my father. i`ll be 18 on the 21st. im planning on moving out and in with philip. its what i need, i need a me and phil place. right now the only promising things in my life include philip, and thats not going to end anytime soon.
my parents are upset at the thought of me wanting to move out.. they offered me a co-sign on me buying me a car and having me make payments on it while i work, possibly at the home shopping network. all the while i live at home. but the point of me moving out is to move out. im not happy here.
i know everything i say sounds immature but in my heart i really feel like this is a step i need to take. i think about having to stay in this house and continue living as i have for the past 17 something years and i just come to tears. its got my emotions all torn.
so the issue now is that my dad came and picked me up in bedford when i was with phil. i had a ride home but my dad just had to talk to me. and he wants me to leave with him tomorrow to go get some new jeep he just bought and then go to some boyscout fishing trip, and then my choices after that is to either stay with my father for the rest of the weekend and go to some business dinner or go to newport news with my mother.. but theres also the chance that momma wont go to newport news and we three will have to go to this business dinner. and he says that my leaving and going wherever is his fault and that he apologizes, and so therefore i shouldnt do it anymore. no! i enjoy making my own decisions of where im at and what im doing.
so heres more to the problem. elina is leaving to go back to germany on sunday. im not allowed to see elina because of the whole shoplifting thing. but neither was i allowed to go to beevs but i did that the other day because of myy fathers comment of 'i dont care where you go' ( which as of an hour ago he took it back. ) but beev and elina are having a going away party friday and she wanted me to go to the airport with her. and plus trish was going to pay me to paint a room for her, which would be for tomorrow and friday. what do i do? do i do what i`ve been doing andjust say fuck it and do what I want to do, or do i continue being the perfect little daughter facade? i dont know what to do with myself when im at home. when im gone i can just say hey i fend for myyself, and when im home im all im going to do something wrong, what am i allowed to do? blah blah blah. week and a half to go till 18. my parents planly see that i`ve been packing my stuff.
my parents are upset at the thought of me wanting to move out.. they offered me a co-sign on me buying me a car and having me make payments on it while i work, possibly at the home shopping network. all the while i live at home. but the point of me moving out is to move out. im not happy here.
i know everything i say sounds immature but in my heart i really feel like this is a step i need to take. i think about having to stay in this house and continue living as i have for the past 17 something years and i just come to tears. its got my emotions all torn.
so the issue now is that my dad came and picked me up in bedford when i was with phil. i had a ride home but my dad just had to talk to me. and he wants me to leave with him tomorrow to go get some new jeep he just bought and then go to some boyscout fishing trip, and then my choices after that is to either stay with my father for the rest of the weekend and go to some business dinner or go to newport news with my mother.. but theres also the chance that momma wont go to newport news and we three will have to go to this business dinner. and he says that my leaving and going wherever is his fault and that he apologizes, and so therefore i shouldnt do it anymore. no! i enjoy making my own decisions of where im at and what im doing.
so heres more to the problem. elina is leaving to go back to germany on sunday. im not allowed to see elina because of the whole shoplifting thing. but neither was i allowed to go to beevs but i did that the other day because of myy fathers comment of 'i dont care where you go' ( which as of an hour ago he took it back. ) but beev and elina are having a going away party friday and she wanted me to go to the airport with her. and plus trish was going to pay me to paint a room for her, which would be for tomorrow and friday. what do i do? do i do what i`ve been doing andjust say fuck it and do what I want to do, or do i continue being the perfect little daughter facade? i dont know what to do with myself when im at home. when im gone i can just say hey i fend for myyself, and when im home im all im going to do something wrong, what am i allowed to do? blah blah blah. week and a half to go till 18. my parents planly see that i`ve been packing my stuff.