just dont matter.
so i`ve been at boyscout camp, should still be there till august 8th but uh, they decided to fire me for smoking a cigarette. i couldve dont much worse if i were looking to be fired. goodness.
lately i`ve been scaring myself anyways im glad i got to go home and sleep. i just didnt wanna deal with all the bullshit that comes with it. (my father).. i`ve been scaring myself because i`ve been exausted, i`vebeen getting drunk and high so much faster and worseer that i used to. i used to be able to drink a good 4 or 5 beers before i decide to slow down on it.. now im drinking 1 or 2 aND needing to sleep. thursday night i smoked a bowl and drank half a beer and i was standing there and the next thing i knew i was on the floor banging my head on the floor. i felt really psychotic. i passed out, i blanked out, and woke myself up by hitting my head on the floor. i was quite awake for the rest of the night though, i came back to camp and me and phil were having a cigarette before i went off to bed for the night and bSol the bastard was randomly escorting one of the other girls to her cabin to tell her to go to bed, he has no right in doing that in the first place then sees phil and i smoking a cigarette, what the fuck? its not that big of a deal, for gods sake i`ll be 18 in a month. i`ve been smoking for the past year.. the past week philip and i have had some great times, in the chapel at boyscout camp at night and even at some random pentialcostal church parking lot off of I-81.
oh and sincec it was phil and iwho got in trtouble together smoking the cigarettes then automatically in mym dads eyes thats philip not respecting me in the relationship and he began to forbid me to see him, like im really going to tolerate that? oh and since friday morning a part of my spine in my neck has been swollen. its confusing and scary.
lately i`ve been scaring myself anyways im glad i got to go home and sleep. i just didnt wanna deal with all the bullshit that comes with it. (my father).. i`ve been scaring myself because i`ve been exausted, i`vebeen getting drunk and high so much faster and worseer that i used to. i used to be able to drink a good 4 or 5 beers before i decide to slow down on it.. now im drinking 1 or 2 aND needing to sleep. thursday night i smoked a bowl and drank half a beer and i was standing there and the next thing i knew i was on the floor banging my head on the floor. i felt really psychotic. i passed out, i blanked out, and woke myself up by hitting my head on the floor. i was quite awake for the rest of the night though, i came back to camp and me and phil were having a cigarette before i went off to bed for the night and bSol the bastard was randomly escorting one of the other girls to her cabin to tell her to go to bed, he has no right in doing that in the first place then sees phil and i smoking a cigarette, what the fuck? its not that big of a deal, for gods sake i`ll be 18 in a month. i`ve been smoking for the past year.. the past week philip and i have had some great times, in the chapel at boyscout camp at night and even at some random pentialcostal church parking lot off of I-81.
oh and sincec it was phil and iwho got in trtouble together smoking the cigarettes then automatically in mym dads eyes thats philip not respecting me in the relationship and he began to forbid me to see him, like im really going to tolerate that? oh and since friday morning a part of my spine in my neck has been swollen. its confusing and scary.