(no subject)
THE LIFE AND TIMES OF BLING CHAV!
(2006-2058) R.I.P
In a series of rather calculated attempts to gain Lady_lucyfer's attention, she used to fling shit at the TV during episodes of Cornoration Street, Eastenders and a range of other mediocre soap operas.
In 2018, Bling was expelled from school for threatening to burn out all of the dinnerladies homes.
After Lady_lucyfer caught she stealing money out of their wallet, Bling was sentenced to 6 months of washing the shit out of their own underwear.
For most of 2033, Bling spent 87% of their time in bed, prodding themselves off to Elvis records. Bling was beaten to within an inch of their life with a cue in a pool hall for whistling Cliff Richard's yuletide atrocity 'Millenium Prayer'
After taunting a lion one too many times in a safari park, Bling had their scalp and right hand bitten off. She wore a Beatlesque wig from then onwards! Bling was arrested for cruelty to animals after attempting to glue a robin red breast to a bird feeder by its wing.
Bling died whilst sitting on a metal toilet which happened to come in contact with a broken light fixture. Anyone for pancakes?
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