At this point I just don't care.

[lady_luckless]

Ok I think I'm a bad person. I mean I could actually stoop that low. Having just watched Othello and dealing with a sucky ex-boyfriend doesn't make for good thoughts. I think I'd seriously think about manipulating people just to mess with him. He deserves it. He's a jerk. And I feel bad for Rhonda because: A. She likes him. B. I told her really bad things about him and before knowing she likes him. C. If he does feel "it" with her, he's going to dump her on her poor little butt. He'll never look back and she will. Believe me I know. I mean, I didn't really like him all that much but it hurt pretty bad. And I know she's pretty into him. Oh no. Well she can't say nobody warned her. There's no sense in caring. There just isn't.

I feel disgusted at myself for hoping it doesn't work out for them. And also wishing to make it not work out for them. I mean, what kind of person am I? Though I never would attempt anything, I guess I'm just an evil thinker. Believe me, I'd never pull it off even if I wanted to. But also I don't know why I bought all his bs sweet talking. He could have gotten anything he wanted from me with those words. I was so gulliable it's ridiculous. I mean, I don't think he really meant it. He could have but now I just don't believe it. God, and I kissed him. Why? Well I don't regret it but I certainly would like to kiss someone else so I don't have to admit to only kissing him. It's bad but I'm embarassed. I mean to have only kissed someone who has a reputation of kissing a million different girls. That's just something I'd rather not be known for. I mean to be just another girl he kissed sucks. Why? I never think about anything. I swear.

I just want to find somebody else over the summer. Vacation can't come soon enough.