(no subject)
Wow... this weeks been stressful. I don't want to talk about it now or ever. I know they will find out. I just left it all for myself to deal with later. All the stress. Now its all pilled on top of me. I tried but I know thats not good enough. I really wish I could turn back time and redo everything. Its all my fault. I did this to myself and I thought I could handle when my emotions calmed down a little. But they haven't calmed down and now I'm ready to explode. My dads gonna start smoking more and more. I made this deal with him that if I lowered the stress in the house, he would stop smoking. Hes gonna end up in the hospital like everyone else because of his black lungs. Hes gonna die like my grandma. I blew it. I'm making others pay for what I did to myself. I ruined my future too. All that talk about college, getting a good job, raising a family, preserving endangered species... all gone. Down the f***ing drain.