The occassional GOOD fwd:
HOMEWORK POLICY:
Here is an explanation of the school homework policy:
Students should not spend more than 90 minutes per night.
This time should be budgeted in the following manner:
15 minutes looking for assignment.
11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment.
23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like
children.
8 minutes in the bathroom.
10 minutes getting a snack.
7 minutes checking the TV Guide.
6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment.
10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the
assignment.
"Take chances. Tell the truth. Date someone totally wrong for you. Say no. Spend all your cash. Fall in love. Get to know someone random. be random. Say I love you. Sing out loud. Laugh at a stupid joke. Cry. Get revenge. Apologize. Tell someone how much they mean to you. Tell an asshole what you feel. Let someone know what they are missing. Stalk someone. Blackmail. Laugh till your stomach hurts. Live life to the fullest. Live in the moment. Just be..."
Men are like....
....Laxatives .... They can irritate the shit out of you.
....Weather .... Nothing can be done to change them.
....Blenders .... You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
....Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.
....Department Stores ...... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
....Government Bonds ...... They take soooooooo long to mature.
....Mascara ..... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
....Popcorn..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
....Lava Lamps ...... Fun to look at, but some are not very bright.
....Parking Spots ........ All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
Good motto to live by ...
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave
with the intention of arriving safely
in an attractive and well preserved body
but rather
to skid in sideways, Champagne in one hand
strawberries in the other,
body thoroughly used up,
totally worn out and screaming
WOO HOO - What a Ride!"
Incidentally, I love the updates to lj!
Here is an explanation of the school homework policy:
Students should not spend more than 90 minutes per night.
This time should be budgeted in the following manner:
15 minutes looking for assignment.
11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment.
23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like
children.
8 minutes in the bathroom.
10 minutes getting a snack.
7 minutes checking the TV Guide.
6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment.
10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the
assignment.
"Take chances. Tell the truth. Date someone totally wrong for you. Say no. Spend all your cash. Fall in love. Get to know someone random. be random. Say I love you. Sing out loud. Laugh at a stupid joke. Cry. Get revenge. Apologize. Tell someone how much they mean to you. Tell an asshole what you feel. Let someone know what they are missing. Stalk someone. Blackmail. Laugh till your stomach hurts. Live life to the fullest. Live in the moment. Just be..."
Men are like....
....Laxatives .... They can irritate the shit out of you.
....Weather .... Nothing can be done to change them.
....Blenders .... You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
....Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.
....Department Stores ...... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
....Government Bonds ...... They take soooooooo long to mature.
....Mascara ..... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
....Popcorn..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
....Lava Lamps ...... Fun to look at, but some are not very bright.
....Parking Spots ........ All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
Good motto to live by ...
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave
with the intention of arriving safely
in an attractive and well preserved body
but rather
to skid in sideways, Champagne in one hand
strawberries in the other,
body thoroughly used up,
totally worn out and screaming
WOO HOO - What a Ride!"
Incidentally, I love the updates to lj!