The Story That Has No Name Yet (Part/Chapter/Installment/Episode 3)
Title: The Story That Has No Name Yet (Part/Chapter/Installment/Episode 3)
Pairings: girl!KanginxLeeteuk, MysteryxZhouMixgirl!rock, HeechulxHenry, HenryxMaple syrup, girl!SiwonxKyuhyun, mystery!YesungxRyeowook, EunhyukxSungmin, DonghaexHangeng, KibumxKibumxKibum, Minho x Nichkhun
Rating: R (but mostly because of the mentionings of things)
Warnings: mpreg, incest (tripletcest), mindless fuckery, genderswich, statutory rape, prostitution, crossdressing, this story will come in random installments and maybe have a plot
Genre: AU, crack, werewolf, vampire, highschool, satan\angel, crime, mafia, so much crack, Harry Potter crossover
Summary: Every single genre of fanfiction ever written thrown into one story…in which Kangin is a woman and Leeteuk is gay, Henry loves maple syrup a little too much to be normal, Kibum is a vampire, Minho is a horrible guardian angel, Kyuhyun fights for animal rights, Siwon is a werewolf, and Sungmin goes to Hogwarts. Oh, and Ryeowook is a fish. And somehow a plot was born.
Part/Chapter/Installment/Episode 2 < ----- > Part/Chapter/Installment/Episode 4
Also, Kyuhyun's entire condition was created from this photo here that he did for an SJM photoshoot.
...and here is this picture in context to my apartment:
Those are my pillows...and the laptop that now brings you fanfiction. (you have now successfully delved into the world of Lady_Hanaka XD) The closed laptop belongs to cereal_strawz ...in case you wanted to know. Because you obviously did. And yes, yes we DID go and get an enlarged version to make into a poster to hang on our wall. Who wouldn't? Look how RIDICULOUS he looks! That entire photoshoot was glorious...
---
Sungmin stumbled through the supply closet and barely managed to stop himself from slamming into a mop and broom. His foot was stuck in a bucket and he stepped out of it gingerly and turned the handle.
He’d spent the entire day at Hogwarts worrying about the fact that the janitor knew what a portkey was. He’d been too scared to ask any of the professors-or god forbid the Headmaster-if they knew about anyone at his non-magical high school that was not a muggle.
His friends had complained about him not paying attention in Herbology-something about almost pulling up a mandrake from a pot rather than the bouncing bulbs they were dealing with. No one was quite sure how he’d gotten a hold of a mandrake in the first place.
Ten points had been docked from Hufflepuff for almost making professor Sprout permanently deaf.
He wasn’t even going to start on what had happened in Double Potions.
But now he was back, ready to head home and get a few hours of sleep before he had to be back at the high school for his muggle classes.
“That’s my swiffer.”
Sungmin blinked to see the janitor standing in the hallway in front of him, his gaze locked on Sungmin.
“What?”
“That’s my swiffer.” Eunhyuk pointed to the broom-like object that Sungmin hadn’t even realized he was holding.
Sungmin blinked, and then muttered back, “Did you just sexually harass me?”
The janitor gave him a gummy smile. “Of course not. If I’d wanted to harass you, I’d ask to see your firebolt.”
---
Kibum had taken a shower to wash off the smell of blood and by the time he was done, the other two had crawled into bed and were sleeping. Kibum took a deep breath and slipped in between the two where a space had conveniently been left for him.
He knew that since he’d just fed, he wasn’t going to get hungry at night but he couldn’t help but be scared that he’d lose control. He’d spent the first week after turning locked in the bathroom at night because he was too scared to sleep around his brothers. He’d waited until they’d fallen asleep before he’d left, knowing that they would get suspicious if he didn’t at least get in bed with them.
He turned over on his side and found himself facing Kibum.
His younger brother was staring back at him.
“Bummie hyung?” He whispered softly.
Kibum swallowed, hearing Key grumble in his sleep and curl up against his back. “What is it?” He asked just as softly, not wanting to wake Key.
“…you’re dead too, aren’t you?”
Kibum didn’t answer. He simply turned his head in the other direction and closed his eyes.
---
Nichkhun tugged at the end of his stethoscope as he walked down the hallway of the cancer ward. He pushed his glasses further up his nose, grabbing a clipboard from outside a patient’s door and skimming it. No one seemed to notice him there at all and if they did, they assumed he was one of the doctors.
The powers of the underworld made everything much easier.
He looked over the clipboard with an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. He really didn’t want to be an ass. He hated it. And why did it have to be a little boy that was dying of leukemia? It was just wrong. Just wrong.
Why did he have to be Satan in the first place? He didn’t even want the job! He was a simple angel that had just had a little problem.
Being allergic to prayer made it very difficult to be a holy being, apparently.
But that didn’t mean they had to make him satan.
Someone poked his shoulder and Nichkhun turned to see a nurse standing behind him. The nurse pulled down his face mask and smirked, “Fancy meeting you here.”
Nichkhun sighed. “You are the worst angel ever. Do you enjoy watching people suffer?”
Minho shrugged. “They’re not my problem.”
Nichkhun smacked Minho with his clipboard and headed into another room.
---
As it was, Heechul was not killed and/or tied to an anchor and thrown into the bay. Not that there was a bay anywhere close by anyway, but still. There was probably a conveniently placed body of water large enough to sink a skinny androgynous man without any witnesses.
But no, Heechul was not killed.
He was treated and then Henry decided it was his duty to drive Heechul home. Heechul didn’t feel like telling Henry where he lived because the last thing he needed was a mafia boss stalker. He didn’t know how he was going to get away with not letting Henry know his address, however. He wasn’t keen on walking home with a broken wrist and unable to defend himself so having Henry drop him off somewhere else wasn’t going to happen.
Besides, he was fairly certain that Henry wouldn’t remember who he was the next day. And Heechul had people to protect him if something bad happened.
Because everyone knew the only thing that could rival a mafia was an apartment full of gay men.
…and a man who thought he was a cat. He’d be their secret weapon.
“So does your family live here?”
“No.” Heechul said dully as they drove up to his apartment.
“Your friends?”
“Boyfriends.”
“Huh?”
“Three of them. I own them. I’m kind of like a pimp and they’re my hoes/bitches/friends.” Heechul drawled as the car pulled to a stop. “Except that I don’t make them pay for sexual favors.” He winked before opening the door and slipping out, leaving a thunderstruck Henry behind.
---
Hangeng woke up in small increments. The back of his head was throbbing, as if he’d hit it hard. He groaned, trying to roll over on his bed but was surprised when the bed ended and he began falling.
“Ah! Don’t roll off!” Someone caught him-they were talking in Korean, so he only understood part of what he was saying-and he was pushed back onto the cushions. He blinked sleepily and realized that he was lying on his couch.
He groaned again, trying to sit up.
Why was Lee Donghae in his apartment?
Donghae was sitting on the carpet, looking every inch an innocent little puppy. Hangeng wouldn’t be surprised if he would grow a tail and start wagging it if Hangeng reached out and patted his head. He resisted the urge to scratch Donghae behind the ears, mostly because he took one look at what Donghae was wearing.
His button-down dress shirt.
And nothing else.
Hangeng began running his hands over his own chest-which was terrifyingly bare-and then looked to his boxers…which was the only thing he was wearing. He looked back to Donghae.
“What…are you doing here?”
Donghae blinked at him, and his smile began to fade a bit. “Professor Han, you don’t…you don’t remember what we did?”
Oh shit.
---
Kibum ignored how hungry he was the next morning. Despite what he’d eaten-pigeons were not the most filling of foods-he’d been craving blood since the moment he woke up. He’d managed to get his two younger brothers out of bed, dressed, and out the door for school despite all of this and was now sitting in the back of the class with them, ignoring the pangs of hunger that stabbed at his stomach every now and then.
He was going to find Eunhyuk…and he was going to eat his hands.
“Bummie hyung,” Key whined, leaning his chin on Kibum’s shoulder and peering at him from the corner of his eye. Kibum knew that Key wanted him to turn so that Key could use it as an excuse to nuzzle their cheeks together.
His other brother came up on his other side, pouting, “Key, you’re hogging.”
Kibum sighed. “Can you two focus on school?”
“The teacher isn’t here.”
Kibum blinked because he just then realized that Professor Han wasn’t there yet. Usually he was already at the front of the classroom, writing in his horribly grammatically incorrect Hangul on the chalkboard.
He sniffed the air.
Professor Han wasn’t in the school building at all.
Yesung leaned back in his/her chair, fiddling with the edge of his/her skirt. Maybe he/she needed to make it shorter? Yeah, shorter.
Yesung wasn’t REALLY a he/she, of course. Yesung was male, most of the time. Or at least, he figured that if he had to choose a sex it would be male…maybe. But he had to wear a skirt, of course.
He was a princess after all. A princess couldn’t go trapsing around in a male uniform! Even a princess in hiding had standards.
Standards…that included that sexy bit of tailfin that was Donghae’s fish. Speaking of Donghae… “Sungmin, have you seen Donghae?”
Sungmin, who had been slipping into the room in what he thought was a ninjaful manner, tripped over his desk, scrambling to his feet. “What? Magic? It wasn’t me!”
Yesung raised an eyebrow at him. Sungmin really was weird. He didn’t understand why people thought HE was odd. HE was perfectly normal. “Seriously, where is Donghae?”
“He isn’t here?” Sungmin slipped his time turner back into his vest. He’d spent most of the night before trying to decide whether or not he could trust Eunhyuk or whether or not to erase his memory. He hadn’t been able to make a choice because he’d learned that Eunhyuk was a vampire and was immune to memory altering spells anyway.
He wondered if maybe Eunhyuk was working for You Know Who. If so…why was he in Korea with Sungmin? Did he think Sungmin was a threat? That he was a member of The Order? Or was he an auror…who thought that Sungmin was working for The Dark Lord?
The closest Sungmin had come to doing anything evil was shoving that Slytherin captain into the vanishing cabinet. He didn’t think that merited the need to have him under surveillance by a vampire.
So there had to be something else…but what?
Yesung saw that Sungmin was in his own little world and would be of no good use for any kind of conversation for the rest of the class period. Yesung merely opened his purse and pulled out some nail polish and the lastest issue of Seventeen Magazine.
Now to find that French Maid design he’d seen in there earlier…
----
Kangin sighed wistfully, leaning her chin on her hand.
Shindong watched her from where she was cleaning one of the tables and rolled her eyes. Why was her friend so pathetic? She’d only met Leeteuk or whatever his name was ONCE and she was acting like a lovesick puppy.
He probably wouldn’t even come BACK.
Shindong didn’t even know why Leeteuk liked her friend. Kangin wasn’t the most attractive girl. In fact, if Shindong had to be honest, she was extremely manly. There was nothing feminine about her except her lady parts and the fact that she bled estrogen. Or maybe she bled testosterone…Shindong really wasn’t sure.
All of those steroids probably didn’t help, but how else was Kangin going to kick the ass of everyone on the hockey, football, wrestling, and kendo teams?
The fact of the matter was that Leeteuk was gorgeous and Kangin was not and Shindong knew that Leeteuk couldn’t have liked Kangin for her personality as they’d only exchanged three sentences between them, one of those being Kangin blurting out how she wanted to have sex with him and the other two dealing with his food order.
Oh well, at least Kangin had a better chance of getting a man than Shindong did. Even if Kangin was manly she was at least SKINNY. Shindong was…she looked down at the pudge of her tummy. She was FAT!
She slapped the wet towel down on the table in despair.
Who would ever fall in love with HER?
---
“Zhou Mi-ssi, they need you down at triage.”
“Of course.” Zhou Mi checked the clipboard he was holding before handing it to the nurse walking beside him. “Also, could you check the medical charts of Kim Heechul? He was discharged from the hospital late last night.”
“I’ll look into it, sir.” The nurse headed off and Zhou Mi continued down the hallway. Heechul had come home late that night with a broken wrist, which had caused a barrage of questions, all of which he left unanswered as he curled up on the couch and fell asleep. It had taken both Leeteuk and Zhou Mi to carry him to his room where Kyuhyun curled up on his chest and fell asleep, purring.
Zhou Mi wanted some answers…even if it meant getting his medical records to find out what had happened.
As he continued down the hallway he paused because a doctor was coming out of a patient’s room….a doctor that he didn’t recognize. He was tall-though not as tall as him-and blonde, a pair of wire rimmed glasses perched atop his nose.
He paused upon seeing that Zhou Mi was staring at him. “Um, yes?” He gave a hesitant smile, one that made him glow. If Zhou Mi had to think of what he looked like, it would probably be Prince Charming. Or maybe Prince Phillip from Sleeping Beauty. There was something royal and noble about him and he was altogether perfect.
“I haven’t seen you here before.” Zhou Mi finally spoke, feeling a bit like a schoolgirl talking to her crush. He hoped he wasn’t blushing.
“I just transferred here.” The man smiled brightly, and well, his smile was so innocent that Zhou Mi couldn’t help but trust him completely. “Call me Nichkhun.”
“Zhou Mi.” Zhou Mi answered back, taking the hand that the other man offered and shaking it. His grip was firm, strong, but gentle. Zhou Mi was getting goosebumps.
“Well, I have to go.” Nichkhun nodded his head, removing his hand from Zhou MI’s limp hold. “Perhaps I’ll see you around?”
“Y-yeah…” God, Zhou Mi hoped so.
---
Kyuhyun stood in front of the shady building. “This is it.” He whispered fiercely. He hissed, feeling his hair stand on end. He was about to arch his back when a hand clamped down on his shoulder and pushed him forward.
“I swear if you do something stupid, I’m pretending I don’t know you.”
Kyuhyun pouted.
“Why are we here anyway?” Heechul fiddled with his large sunglasses. They kind of reminded Kyuhyun of Audrey Hepburn. Actually…Heechul’s whole outfit reminded him of Audrey Hepburn. He was wearing some crazy sweater thing that acted as a hood and those large glasses plus tight, tight black pants. He was as openly gay as he could be without a large sign taped to his back that said “I take it in the ass”. Then again, Kyuhyun didn’t know if Heechul topped or not.
He didn’t like to think about it.
The only thing that stood out from Heechul’s classy wardrobe-complete with calf high alligator skin boots-was the cast on his wrist. Heechul refused to tell Kyuhyun what happened except that some asshole had gotten touchy and then he’d mumbled something about gangsters before telling Kyuhyun he’d go with him to wherever he was going.
Heechul had to go because Heechul could drive and Kyuhyun couldn’t…and Kyuhyun on a subway was not something Heechul wanted to think about. The last time Kyuhyun had been left outside alone he’d been chased by a dog and climbed up a tree where he’d remained, crying, until the firemen came to get him. In the end Heechul had to climb up the tree because Kyuhyun was attacking all of the firemen who tried to get him down.
Yeah, Kyuhyun wasn’t allowed outside of the house alone anymore.
“Why are we here anyway?” Heechul noticed the petition held firmly in Kyuhyun’s grasp.
Kyuhyun turned to him, his face serious. “To save the animals, hyung.”
---
Siwon scratched the back of her neck, frowning as she surveyed the tape with the director from their last shoot. She leaned back in her chair, wrapping her robe further around her body. “Is the angle alright?”
“It’s perfect,” The director muttered, glancing over the screen. Being the director of a pornography film company, he was rather desensitized to watching his actors and actresses naked on camera. Siwon wasn’t certain if it was professionalism or if he just didn’t care by this point.
She’d been texting Shindong since yesterday, after having received a message that Kangin unnie had a crush on someone. She now knew only that he was tall and handsome. She wondered if he had abs. Abs was a must for her, and she didn’t think Kangin could settle for anything less than the epitome of manliness.
Unless Kangin was the type that wanted the exact opposite of herself which meant weak, twiggy, and overly cheerful and motherly.
…nah, couldn’t be.
“You looked a little hairy yesterday.”
Siwon blinked, looking up from her phone. “Hm? Oh, forgot to shave.” She murmured, hoping he’d leave it at that. Of course she hadn’t forgotten to shave. She did full body waxes once every three weeks.
It just so happened that every Monday night she turned into a werewolf and the transformation back to human sometimes took longer than twenty four hours and she ended up a bit…furry on Tuesdays.
At least she wasn’t a vampire. Vampires wound up in hell and she planned on having her soul pure and intact. She skimmed through the messages on her phone before closing the window and smiling down at the background picture of her bible study group.
“Siwon unnie!”
Siwon turned to see her makeup artist run up to her, a café mocha in hand. She handed it to Siwon before continuing, “Someone at the front of the building is making a commotion.”
“Shouldn’t security take care of it?”
“The guy is shouting about animal rights and beastieality charges and he keeps mentioning your latest film!”
The director glanced up again as well at that. “I’ll send someone to deal with them.”
“No,” Siwon smiled, “I’ll go.” She stuck her phone into her bra before wrapping her robe more tightly around herself as she stood and headed toward the front of the building.
---
“…she’s wonderful…”
“Sir, you said he was male.”
Henry blinked, turning in his chair to where Amber sat on the couch, pouring ranch dressing on her salad. He ignored Amber, she always had a habit of stating the obvious and making everything less fun. “You want to know the best part?”
Amber raised an eyebrow, knowing what was coming. “What, sir?”
“She smells like syrup.”
Amber mouthed the words as Henry said them. Her boss had been saying the same thing for the past hour. Sometimes Amber wondered how he’d become a mafia boss…until she remembered that aside from his eccentric fetish for maple syrup he was a ruthless criminal.
And now apparently he had a fetish for androgynous men that smelled like syrup. Lovely.
“Do you know his name?”
“Of course. And his address. And his phone number.”
“He gave that to you, sir?” Amber figured that if Henry flirted with women like he tortured traitors and rival gang members then the object of his affections would be less than inclined to give Henry his number.
“No, but I had someone hack into his medical records and found out.” Henry gleefully scrolled down his contact list in his phone and stopped at Kim Heechul, Syrup Goddess.
Amber merely continued to munch her salad.
---
Pairings: girl!KanginxLeeteuk, MysteryxZhouMixgirl!rock, HeechulxHenry, HenryxMaple syrup, girl!SiwonxKyuhyun, mystery!YesungxRyeowook, EunhyukxSungmin, DonghaexHangeng, KibumxKibumxKibum, Minho x Nichkhun
Rating: R (but mostly because of the mentionings of things)
Warnings: mpreg, incest (tripletcest), mindless fuckery, genderswich, statutory rape, prostitution, crossdressing, this story will come in random installments and maybe have a plot
Genre: AU, crack, werewolf, vampire, highschool, satan\angel, crime, mafia, so much crack, Harry Potter crossover
Summary: Every single genre of fanfiction ever written thrown into one story…in which Kangin is a woman and Leeteuk is gay, Henry loves maple syrup a little too much to be normal, Kibum is a vampire, Minho is a horrible guardian angel, Kyuhyun fights for animal rights, Siwon is a werewolf, and Sungmin goes to Hogwarts. Oh, and Ryeowook is a fish. And somehow a plot was born.
Part/Chapter/Installment/Episode 2 < ----- > Part/Chapter/Installment/Episode 4
Also, Kyuhyun's entire condition was created from this photo here that he did for an SJM photoshoot.
...and here is this picture in context to my apartment:
Those are my pillows...and the laptop that now brings you fanfiction. (you have now successfully delved into the world of Lady_Hanaka XD) The closed laptop belongs to cereal_strawz ...in case you wanted to know. Because you obviously did. And yes, yes we DID go and get an enlarged version to make into a poster to hang on our wall. Who wouldn't? Look how RIDICULOUS he looks! That entire photoshoot was glorious...
---
Sungmin stumbled through the supply closet and barely managed to stop himself from slamming into a mop and broom. His foot was stuck in a bucket and he stepped out of it gingerly and turned the handle.
He’d spent the entire day at Hogwarts worrying about the fact that the janitor knew what a portkey was. He’d been too scared to ask any of the professors-or god forbid the Headmaster-if they knew about anyone at his non-magical high school that was not a muggle.
His friends had complained about him not paying attention in Herbology-something about almost pulling up a mandrake from a pot rather than the bouncing bulbs they were dealing with. No one was quite sure how he’d gotten a hold of a mandrake in the first place.
Ten points had been docked from Hufflepuff for almost making professor Sprout permanently deaf.
He wasn’t even going to start on what had happened in Double Potions.
But now he was back, ready to head home and get a few hours of sleep before he had to be back at the high school for his muggle classes.
“That’s my swiffer.”
Sungmin blinked to see the janitor standing in the hallway in front of him, his gaze locked on Sungmin.
“What?”
“That’s my swiffer.” Eunhyuk pointed to the broom-like object that Sungmin hadn’t even realized he was holding.
Sungmin blinked, and then muttered back, “Did you just sexually harass me?”
The janitor gave him a gummy smile. “Of course not. If I’d wanted to harass you, I’d ask to see your firebolt.”
---
Kibum had taken a shower to wash off the smell of blood and by the time he was done, the other two had crawled into bed and were sleeping. Kibum took a deep breath and slipped in between the two where a space had conveniently been left for him.
He knew that since he’d just fed, he wasn’t going to get hungry at night but he couldn’t help but be scared that he’d lose control. He’d spent the first week after turning locked in the bathroom at night because he was too scared to sleep around his brothers. He’d waited until they’d fallen asleep before he’d left, knowing that they would get suspicious if he didn’t at least get in bed with them.
He turned over on his side and found himself facing Kibum.
His younger brother was staring back at him.
“Bummie hyung?” He whispered softly.
Kibum swallowed, hearing Key grumble in his sleep and curl up against his back. “What is it?” He asked just as softly, not wanting to wake Key.
“…you’re dead too, aren’t you?”
Kibum didn’t answer. He simply turned his head in the other direction and closed his eyes.
---
Nichkhun tugged at the end of his stethoscope as he walked down the hallway of the cancer ward. He pushed his glasses further up his nose, grabbing a clipboard from outside a patient’s door and skimming it. No one seemed to notice him there at all and if they did, they assumed he was one of the doctors.
The powers of the underworld made everything much easier.
He looked over the clipboard with an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. He really didn’t want to be an ass. He hated it. And why did it have to be a little boy that was dying of leukemia? It was just wrong. Just wrong.
Why did he have to be Satan in the first place? He didn’t even want the job! He was a simple angel that had just had a little problem.
Being allergic to prayer made it very difficult to be a holy being, apparently.
But that didn’t mean they had to make him satan.
Someone poked his shoulder and Nichkhun turned to see a nurse standing behind him. The nurse pulled down his face mask and smirked, “Fancy meeting you here.”
Nichkhun sighed. “You are the worst angel ever. Do you enjoy watching people suffer?”
Minho shrugged. “They’re not my problem.”
Nichkhun smacked Minho with his clipboard and headed into another room.
---
As it was, Heechul was not killed and/or tied to an anchor and thrown into the bay. Not that there was a bay anywhere close by anyway, but still. There was probably a conveniently placed body of water large enough to sink a skinny androgynous man without any witnesses.
But no, Heechul was not killed.
He was treated and then Henry decided it was his duty to drive Heechul home. Heechul didn’t feel like telling Henry where he lived because the last thing he needed was a mafia boss stalker. He didn’t know how he was going to get away with not letting Henry know his address, however. He wasn’t keen on walking home with a broken wrist and unable to defend himself so having Henry drop him off somewhere else wasn’t going to happen.
Besides, he was fairly certain that Henry wouldn’t remember who he was the next day. And Heechul had people to protect him if something bad happened.
Because everyone knew the only thing that could rival a mafia was an apartment full of gay men.
…and a man who thought he was a cat. He’d be their secret weapon.
“So does your family live here?”
“No.” Heechul said dully as they drove up to his apartment.
“Your friends?”
“Boyfriends.”
“Huh?”
“Three of them. I own them. I’m kind of like a pimp and they’re my hoes/bitches/friends.” Heechul drawled as the car pulled to a stop. “Except that I don’t make them pay for sexual favors.” He winked before opening the door and slipping out, leaving a thunderstruck Henry behind.
---
Hangeng woke up in small increments. The back of his head was throbbing, as if he’d hit it hard. He groaned, trying to roll over on his bed but was surprised when the bed ended and he began falling.
“Ah! Don’t roll off!” Someone caught him-they were talking in Korean, so he only understood part of what he was saying-and he was pushed back onto the cushions. He blinked sleepily and realized that he was lying on his couch.
He groaned again, trying to sit up.
Why was Lee Donghae in his apartment?
Donghae was sitting on the carpet, looking every inch an innocent little puppy. Hangeng wouldn’t be surprised if he would grow a tail and start wagging it if Hangeng reached out and patted his head. He resisted the urge to scratch Donghae behind the ears, mostly because he took one look at what Donghae was wearing.
His button-down dress shirt.
And nothing else.
Hangeng began running his hands over his own chest-which was terrifyingly bare-and then looked to his boxers…which was the only thing he was wearing. He looked back to Donghae.
“What…are you doing here?”
Donghae blinked at him, and his smile began to fade a bit. “Professor Han, you don’t…you don’t remember what we did?”
Oh shit.
---
Kibum ignored how hungry he was the next morning. Despite what he’d eaten-pigeons were not the most filling of foods-he’d been craving blood since the moment he woke up. He’d managed to get his two younger brothers out of bed, dressed, and out the door for school despite all of this and was now sitting in the back of the class with them, ignoring the pangs of hunger that stabbed at his stomach every now and then.
He was going to find Eunhyuk…and he was going to eat his hands.
“Bummie hyung,” Key whined, leaning his chin on Kibum’s shoulder and peering at him from the corner of his eye. Kibum knew that Key wanted him to turn so that Key could use it as an excuse to nuzzle their cheeks together.
His other brother came up on his other side, pouting, “Key, you’re hogging.”
Kibum sighed. “Can you two focus on school?”
“The teacher isn’t here.”
Kibum blinked because he just then realized that Professor Han wasn’t there yet. Usually he was already at the front of the classroom, writing in his horribly grammatically incorrect Hangul on the chalkboard.
He sniffed the air.
Professor Han wasn’t in the school building at all.
Yesung leaned back in his/her chair, fiddling with the edge of his/her skirt. Maybe he/she needed to make it shorter? Yeah, shorter.
Yesung wasn’t REALLY a he/she, of course. Yesung was male, most of the time. Or at least, he figured that if he had to choose a sex it would be male…maybe. But he had to wear a skirt, of course.
He was a princess after all. A princess couldn’t go trapsing around in a male uniform! Even a princess in hiding had standards.
Standards…that included that sexy bit of tailfin that was Donghae’s fish. Speaking of Donghae… “Sungmin, have you seen Donghae?”
Sungmin, who had been slipping into the room in what he thought was a ninjaful manner, tripped over his desk, scrambling to his feet. “What? Magic? It wasn’t me!”
Yesung raised an eyebrow at him. Sungmin really was weird. He didn’t understand why people thought HE was odd. HE was perfectly normal. “Seriously, where is Donghae?”
“He isn’t here?” Sungmin slipped his time turner back into his vest. He’d spent most of the night before trying to decide whether or not he could trust Eunhyuk or whether or not to erase his memory. He hadn’t been able to make a choice because he’d learned that Eunhyuk was a vampire and was immune to memory altering spells anyway.
He wondered if maybe Eunhyuk was working for You Know Who. If so…why was he in Korea with Sungmin? Did he think Sungmin was a threat? That he was a member of The Order? Or was he an auror…who thought that Sungmin was working for The Dark Lord?
The closest Sungmin had come to doing anything evil was shoving that Slytherin captain into the vanishing cabinet. He didn’t think that merited the need to have him under surveillance by a vampire.
So there had to be something else…but what?
Yesung saw that Sungmin was in his own little world and would be of no good use for any kind of conversation for the rest of the class period. Yesung merely opened his purse and pulled out some nail polish and the lastest issue of Seventeen Magazine.
Now to find that French Maid design he’d seen in there earlier…
----
Kangin sighed wistfully, leaning her chin on her hand.
Shindong watched her from where she was cleaning one of the tables and rolled her eyes. Why was her friend so pathetic? She’d only met Leeteuk or whatever his name was ONCE and she was acting like a lovesick puppy.
He probably wouldn’t even come BACK.
Shindong didn’t even know why Leeteuk liked her friend. Kangin wasn’t the most attractive girl. In fact, if Shindong had to be honest, she was extremely manly. There was nothing feminine about her except her lady parts and the fact that she bled estrogen. Or maybe she bled testosterone…Shindong really wasn’t sure.
All of those steroids probably didn’t help, but how else was Kangin going to kick the ass of everyone on the hockey, football, wrestling, and kendo teams?
The fact of the matter was that Leeteuk was gorgeous and Kangin was not and Shindong knew that Leeteuk couldn’t have liked Kangin for her personality as they’d only exchanged three sentences between them, one of those being Kangin blurting out how she wanted to have sex with him and the other two dealing with his food order.
Oh well, at least Kangin had a better chance of getting a man than Shindong did. Even if Kangin was manly she was at least SKINNY. Shindong was…she looked down at the pudge of her tummy. She was FAT!
She slapped the wet towel down on the table in despair.
Who would ever fall in love with HER?
---
“Zhou Mi-ssi, they need you down at triage.”
“Of course.” Zhou Mi checked the clipboard he was holding before handing it to the nurse walking beside him. “Also, could you check the medical charts of Kim Heechul? He was discharged from the hospital late last night.”
“I’ll look into it, sir.” The nurse headed off and Zhou Mi continued down the hallway. Heechul had come home late that night with a broken wrist, which had caused a barrage of questions, all of which he left unanswered as he curled up on the couch and fell asleep. It had taken both Leeteuk and Zhou Mi to carry him to his room where Kyuhyun curled up on his chest and fell asleep, purring.
Zhou Mi wanted some answers…even if it meant getting his medical records to find out what had happened.
As he continued down the hallway he paused because a doctor was coming out of a patient’s room….a doctor that he didn’t recognize. He was tall-though not as tall as him-and blonde, a pair of wire rimmed glasses perched atop his nose.
He paused upon seeing that Zhou Mi was staring at him. “Um, yes?” He gave a hesitant smile, one that made him glow. If Zhou Mi had to think of what he looked like, it would probably be Prince Charming. Or maybe Prince Phillip from Sleeping Beauty. There was something royal and noble about him and he was altogether perfect.
“I haven’t seen you here before.” Zhou Mi finally spoke, feeling a bit like a schoolgirl talking to her crush. He hoped he wasn’t blushing.
“I just transferred here.” The man smiled brightly, and well, his smile was so innocent that Zhou Mi couldn’t help but trust him completely. “Call me Nichkhun.”
“Zhou Mi.” Zhou Mi answered back, taking the hand that the other man offered and shaking it. His grip was firm, strong, but gentle. Zhou Mi was getting goosebumps.
“Well, I have to go.” Nichkhun nodded his head, removing his hand from Zhou MI’s limp hold. “Perhaps I’ll see you around?”
“Y-yeah…” God, Zhou Mi hoped so.
---
Kyuhyun stood in front of the shady building. “This is it.” He whispered fiercely. He hissed, feeling his hair stand on end. He was about to arch his back when a hand clamped down on his shoulder and pushed him forward.
“I swear if you do something stupid, I’m pretending I don’t know you.”
Kyuhyun pouted.
“Why are we here anyway?” Heechul fiddled with his large sunglasses. They kind of reminded Kyuhyun of Audrey Hepburn. Actually…Heechul’s whole outfit reminded him of Audrey Hepburn. He was wearing some crazy sweater thing that acted as a hood and those large glasses plus tight, tight black pants. He was as openly gay as he could be without a large sign taped to his back that said “I take it in the ass”. Then again, Kyuhyun didn’t know if Heechul topped or not.
He didn’t like to think about it.
The only thing that stood out from Heechul’s classy wardrobe-complete with calf high alligator skin boots-was the cast on his wrist. Heechul refused to tell Kyuhyun what happened except that some asshole had gotten touchy and then he’d mumbled something about gangsters before telling Kyuhyun he’d go with him to wherever he was going.
Heechul had to go because Heechul could drive and Kyuhyun couldn’t…and Kyuhyun on a subway was not something Heechul wanted to think about. The last time Kyuhyun had been left outside alone he’d been chased by a dog and climbed up a tree where he’d remained, crying, until the firemen came to get him. In the end Heechul had to climb up the tree because Kyuhyun was attacking all of the firemen who tried to get him down.
Yeah, Kyuhyun wasn’t allowed outside of the house alone anymore.
“Why are we here anyway?” Heechul noticed the petition held firmly in Kyuhyun’s grasp.
Kyuhyun turned to him, his face serious. “To save the animals, hyung.”
---
Siwon scratched the back of her neck, frowning as she surveyed the tape with the director from their last shoot. She leaned back in her chair, wrapping her robe further around her body. “Is the angle alright?”
“It’s perfect,” The director muttered, glancing over the screen. Being the director of a pornography film company, he was rather desensitized to watching his actors and actresses naked on camera. Siwon wasn’t certain if it was professionalism or if he just didn’t care by this point.
She’d been texting Shindong since yesterday, after having received a message that Kangin unnie had a crush on someone. She now knew only that he was tall and handsome. She wondered if he had abs. Abs was a must for her, and she didn’t think Kangin could settle for anything less than the epitome of manliness.
Unless Kangin was the type that wanted the exact opposite of herself which meant weak, twiggy, and overly cheerful and motherly.
…nah, couldn’t be.
“You looked a little hairy yesterday.”
Siwon blinked, looking up from her phone. “Hm? Oh, forgot to shave.” She murmured, hoping he’d leave it at that. Of course she hadn’t forgotten to shave. She did full body waxes once every three weeks.
It just so happened that every Monday night she turned into a werewolf and the transformation back to human sometimes took longer than twenty four hours and she ended up a bit…furry on Tuesdays.
At least she wasn’t a vampire. Vampires wound up in hell and she planned on having her soul pure and intact. She skimmed through the messages on her phone before closing the window and smiling down at the background picture of her bible study group.
“Siwon unnie!”
Siwon turned to see her makeup artist run up to her, a café mocha in hand. She handed it to Siwon before continuing, “Someone at the front of the building is making a commotion.”
“Shouldn’t security take care of it?”
“The guy is shouting about animal rights and beastieality charges and he keeps mentioning your latest film!”
The director glanced up again as well at that. “I’ll send someone to deal with them.”
“No,” Siwon smiled, “I’ll go.” She stuck her phone into her bra before wrapping her robe more tightly around herself as she stood and headed toward the front of the building.
---
“…she’s wonderful…”
“Sir, you said he was male.”
Henry blinked, turning in his chair to where Amber sat on the couch, pouring ranch dressing on her salad. He ignored Amber, she always had a habit of stating the obvious and making everything less fun. “You want to know the best part?”
Amber raised an eyebrow, knowing what was coming. “What, sir?”
“She smells like syrup.”
Amber mouthed the words as Henry said them. Her boss had been saying the same thing for the past hour. Sometimes Amber wondered how he’d become a mafia boss…until she remembered that aside from his eccentric fetish for maple syrup he was a ruthless criminal.
And now apparently he had a fetish for androgynous men that smelled like syrup. Lovely.
“Do you know his name?”
“Of course. And his address. And his phone number.”
“He gave that to you, sir?” Amber figured that if Henry flirted with women like he tortured traitors and rival gang members then the object of his affections would be less than inclined to give Henry his number.
“No, but I had someone hack into his medical records and found out.” Henry gleefully scrolled down his contact list in his phone and stopped at Kim Heechul, Syrup Goddess.
Amber merely continued to munch her salad.
---