TV Rant
You know it’s bad when the radio DJs agree with me.
Television is such an intrinsic part of American culture that virtually every household has a set of some kind. Those who don’t are considered odd, and it’s almost a shock to discover someone who doesn’t watch something; therefore, it can be generalized that pretty much everyone in this country watches TV. The rise of cable networks in popularity has almost evened the playing field with major networks. There are hundreds of channels offering such a wide variety of entertainment possibilities that almost every taste can be satisfied - yet everyone complains that “there’s nothing good on TV.”
Network executives still use the old-fashioned, tried-and-true (or so they think) Nielsens to determine which shows have the biggest market share, but they’re lagging behind. The truest, best place to find out who is watching what is the Internet. On-line fans have known this for a long time.
This is not to say that putting up a poll and getting votes will determine what the most-watched shows are. That’s just naïve, because hackers will inevitably find a way to stuff electronic ballot boxes and the results will be skewed. The real way to find out what’s hot and which shows inspire the most passion is… (drum-roll, please…) fan groups and fan fiction.
Networks should be watching the numbers of fan groups and the proliferation of fanfic instead of looking at the Nielsens. Those who have computers and Internet access usually also have the most disposable income; therefore, this is the audience they should be looking to court most passionately. Internet fans are also generally the most devoted supporters of their favorite shows, engaging in campaigns to drum up business for the advertisers who buy commercial spots during their favorites, fighting cancellations or killing off favorite characters. They go to great lengths to make their voices heard - yet the networks are still ignoring them as “radical” or unusual, something away from the norm of their desired audience.
That’s unfortunate, because the networks are the ones who lose, in the end. They don’t take the pulse of their core audience, and end up missing the mark completely, dissatisfying the fans, sometimes even intentionally pitting one group of fans against another and intentionally enhancing discord in their audience (see Stargate SG-1 fandom). I suppose they enjoy the drama, somehow getting off on the idea that they’re stirring up so much emotion among the viewers. There’s something inherently wrong with that idea. We’re not supposed to be their entertainment.
I’ve spent a lot of time watching TV lately, and find there’s very little intelligent life out there. The gal on the radio today mentioned how the networks are pissing her off because they keep changing the schedule, shuffling shows around so that she can’t locate the ones she likes. She said she’s tired of the constant re-runs, and that she loses track of the story line completely because she can’t remember what happened last. I sympathize with her completely.
Back in the day, the television “season” began in September and ended in May, with re-runs airing only during the summer months. Now, we have several “seasons” in a year. There’s the one from September to mid-October, then re-runs for several weeks. Then new episodes start again just in time for November Sweeps (those darn Nielsens again) that determine the success of current broadcast programming and which programs are the top dogs. Then when folks start to do their holiday shopping in early December, it’s back to the re-runs until March, new episodes till May, and then there’s a sudden rash of switches, where the programs we’re used to seeing are not shown so the networks can give a few new shows a try. Some are shot down after only a couple of episodes, and then there are repeats of the ones that look good.
What this basically breaks down to is that there is no real broadcast “season” anymore. There are just a bunch of networks constantly screwing around with us, not really paying attention to the content or quality of any show in particular, or what audience is present when (families stay home nights and weekends, singles are usually out Thursday through Sunday PMs - it’s not that hard to figure out, folks), and rather than programming for the audience that watches during that time period, they think they can throw a program for the Young Single Male audience on a Saturday night and DRAW THEM IN.
That’s just stupid.
I understand that budgets aren’t what they used to be, and that it costs more to make TV programs these days, but if the folks who produced “Friends” could afford all those multi-million dollar salaries for their stars, they can damn well afford to produce other high-quality shows now that “Friends” is no longer on the air. Networks can make intelligent decisions about time slots and, once placed, leave them the hell alone. And if they want to try out new programs, that’s cool. Just don’t give us such a pastiche of new and repeated episodes that we can’t follow the storyline or even remember where it’s going. All the networks need to get together and determine a unified starting and stopping point. If they want three “season” in a year of four months each, that would be okay - just make it four months SOLID, then four months of repeats, then four months of maiden shows as they weed out the old unsuccessful or retiring programs. Our lives are disjointed enough, thanks, and we don’t need constant jockeying with our entertainment to add to our stress.
With that in mind, here are ten rules for the network executives, courtesy of Yours Truly, for highly rated shows:
1. Hire good writers, and KEEP THEM once you have a proven series.
2. Develop a bible that determines character design and arc and stick to it. Don’t contradict your own canon.
3. Only one hand on the reins, please. Changing or losing the creative direction for a series is a recipe for disaster and fan disappointment. If you have a good creative director, KEEP THEM.
4. Watch the Internet fandoms. They’ll tell you if you’re doing it right, because fan groups will be everywhere. Pay someone to keep tabs on what they’re talking about - not for story ideas, but for customer satisfaction. Follow the buzz and scrap the antiquated Nielsen system.
5. Determine your preferred demographic, and WRITE FOR THEM. If you want the Young Single Male audience, you don’t need writers at all. Just show lots of moving pictures of T&A, cars, explosions and people shooting guns. If you want Women Who Control the Purse-Strings, you need writers who can make their characters emote and have A Brain. (Don’t use cheesy romance novels as a model. Please.)
6. Once you know your demographic, find out when they’re home and schedule your program then.
7. Once the program has a slot, LEAVE IT THERE.
8. Pare down the repeats and make it easy for us to remember the arc.
9. Give the audience GOOD STORIES. Don’t dumb it down. That insults the people you’re trying so hard to impress. RESPECT YOUR AUDIENCE.
10. Don’t be afraid of emotion. If you can deliver shows that make us THINK and FEEL, your audience will do all your advertising for you and will stick with you like glue.
It’s my considered opinion that most TV execs have ADHD and don’t have a clue how to do their jobs. Cancelling shows like ”Beauty and the Beast” after only a few seasons - a show that still has a large following more than two decades later - is just short of a crime. We NEED entertainment that educates, illuminates and touches our hearts. We need to laugh at ourselves, not at each other. We need to celebrate all that is good and right in humanity, not reality TV like “Survivor” that glories in what makes us mean and small, even engineers the situations that bring it to the fore.
We are not the networks’ playthings. We should be treated with respect and care. Those who do that for their audience will find success. It’s as simple as that.
Television is such an intrinsic part of American culture that virtually every household has a set of some kind. Those who don’t are considered odd, and it’s almost a shock to discover someone who doesn’t watch something; therefore, it can be generalized that pretty much everyone in this country watches TV. The rise of cable networks in popularity has almost evened the playing field with major networks. There are hundreds of channels offering such a wide variety of entertainment possibilities that almost every taste can be satisfied - yet everyone complains that “there’s nothing good on TV.”
Network executives still use the old-fashioned, tried-and-true (or so they think) Nielsens to determine which shows have the biggest market share, but they’re lagging behind. The truest, best place to find out who is watching what is the Internet. On-line fans have known this for a long time.
This is not to say that putting up a poll and getting votes will determine what the most-watched shows are. That’s just naïve, because hackers will inevitably find a way to stuff electronic ballot boxes and the results will be skewed. The real way to find out what’s hot and which shows inspire the most passion is… (drum-roll, please…) fan groups and fan fiction.
Networks should be watching the numbers of fan groups and the proliferation of fanfic instead of looking at the Nielsens. Those who have computers and Internet access usually also have the most disposable income; therefore, this is the audience they should be looking to court most passionately. Internet fans are also generally the most devoted supporters of their favorite shows, engaging in campaigns to drum up business for the advertisers who buy commercial spots during their favorites, fighting cancellations or killing off favorite characters. They go to great lengths to make their voices heard - yet the networks are still ignoring them as “radical” or unusual, something away from the norm of their desired audience.
That’s unfortunate, because the networks are the ones who lose, in the end. They don’t take the pulse of their core audience, and end up missing the mark completely, dissatisfying the fans, sometimes even intentionally pitting one group of fans against another and intentionally enhancing discord in their audience (see Stargate SG-1 fandom). I suppose they enjoy the drama, somehow getting off on the idea that they’re stirring up so much emotion among the viewers. There’s something inherently wrong with that idea. We’re not supposed to be their entertainment.
I’ve spent a lot of time watching TV lately, and find there’s very little intelligent life out there. The gal on the radio today mentioned how the networks are pissing her off because they keep changing the schedule, shuffling shows around so that she can’t locate the ones she likes. She said she’s tired of the constant re-runs, and that she loses track of the story line completely because she can’t remember what happened last. I sympathize with her completely.
Back in the day, the television “season” began in September and ended in May, with re-runs airing only during the summer months. Now, we have several “seasons” in a year. There’s the one from September to mid-October, then re-runs for several weeks. Then new episodes start again just in time for November Sweeps (those darn Nielsens again) that determine the success of current broadcast programming and which programs are the top dogs. Then when folks start to do their holiday shopping in early December, it’s back to the re-runs until March, new episodes till May, and then there’s a sudden rash of switches, where the programs we’re used to seeing are not shown so the networks can give a few new shows a try. Some are shot down after only a couple of episodes, and then there are repeats of the ones that look good.
What this basically breaks down to is that there is no real broadcast “season” anymore. There are just a bunch of networks constantly screwing around with us, not really paying attention to the content or quality of any show in particular, or what audience is present when (families stay home nights and weekends, singles are usually out Thursday through Sunday PMs - it’s not that hard to figure out, folks), and rather than programming for the audience that watches during that time period, they think they can throw a program for the Young Single Male audience on a Saturday night and DRAW THEM IN.
That’s just stupid.
I understand that budgets aren’t what they used to be, and that it costs more to make TV programs these days, but if the folks who produced “Friends” could afford all those multi-million dollar salaries for their stars, they can damn well afford to produce other high-quality shows now that “Friends” is no longer on the air. Networks can make intelligent decisions about time slots and, once placed, leave them the hell alone. And if they want to try out new programs, that’s cool. Just don’t give us such a pastiche of new and repeated episodes that we can’t follow the storyline or even remember where it’s going. All the networks need to get together and determine a unified starting and stopping point. If they want three “season” in a year of four months each, that would be okay - just make it four months SOLID, then four months of repeats, then four months of maiden shows as they weed out the old unsuccessful or retiring programs. Our lives are disjointed enough, thanks, and we don’t need constant jockeying with our entertainment to add to our stress.
With that in mind, here are ten rules for the network executives, courtesy of Yours Truly, for highly rated shows:
1. Hire good writers, and KEEP THEM once you have a proven series.
2. Develop a bible that determines character design and arc and stick to it. Don’t contradict your own canon.
3. Only one hand on the reins, please. Changing or losing the creative direction for a series is a recipe for disaster and fan disappointment. If you have a good creative director, KEEP THEM.
4. Watch the Internet fandoms. They’ll tell you if you’re doing it right, because fan groups will be everywhere. Pay someone to keep tabs on what they’re talking about - not for story ideas, but for customer satisfaction. Follow the buzz and scrap the antiquated Nielsen system.
5. Determine your preferred demographic, and WRITE FOR THEM. If you want the Young Single Male audience, you don’t need writers at all. Just show lots of moving pictures of T&A, cars, explosions and people shooting guns. If you want Women Who Control the Purse-Strings, you need writers who can make their characters emote and have A Brain. (Don’t use cheesy romance novels as a model. Please.)
6. Once you know your demographic, find out when they’re home and schedule your program then.
7. Once the program has a slot, LEAVE IT THERE.
8. Pare down the repeats and make it easy for us to remember the arc.
9. Give the audience GOOD STORIES. Don’t dumb it down. That insults the people you’re trying so hard to impress. RESPECT YOUR AUDIENCE.
10. Don’t be afraid of emotion. If you can deliver shows that make us THINK and FEEL, your audience will do all your advertising for you and will stick with you like glue.
It’s my considered opinion that most TV execs have ADHD and don’t have a clue how to do their jobs. Cancelling shows like ”Beauty and the Beast” after only a few seasons - a show that still has a large following more than two decades later - is just short of a crime. We NEED entertainment that educates, illuminates and touches our hearts. We need to laugh at ourselves, not at each other. We need to celebrate all that is good and right in humanity, not reality TV like “Survivor” that glories in what makes us mean and small, even engineers the situations that bring it to the fore.
We are not the networks’ playthings. We should be treated with respect and care. Those who do that for their audience will find success. It’s as simple as that.