arcade fire
my head is a mess and i feel so drunk that i'm drooling...but that's what's so great about it.,..hehe i guess life is good it's just a bit strange...i feel like seattle is no longer my home and i should leave maybe i will...sometimes i feel like i should just fall from the earth and not exist yeah that would make things better...i miss J i know that she just wants to forget i ever existed we're not friends anymore i'm a memory forgotten but i deserve that...i just know when i see her i'm going to lose it...all the good timesmakinghersmilewasbest.nowall i dois remindherof whatnot todowhydidihavetobesuchafuck..Jdoesn't deserve this but you know what she doesn't need me and i know she's happier! i know...so what it's just makes me realize with me =not so happy without me=happy and hanging out with good people that appreciate you and that make you feel good..i hear she looks great and more alive then ever...and that makes me so happy forhersofuckinghappyforher,...i justdon't wannaruin itby seeingher...she's agreatpersonanddeservesthebest..inothernews i werk and werk and werk and well i'm tryingto figure out what's goingonin my little peebrain..not much really..my house is cold and my space heater makes my nose bleed....like i'm oncokeit's reallygross..i have a nastyscabbynose...um i'm going to M'sfriends house this week in purdy to get away...it's so nice out there but i know i would go nuts if i livedthere...so i've excited to getoutofthecity for a fewdays..um grandma young is great she reallydoes love meshesaysif i needanythingto let herknow...i won't though becausei'mnotmy fucking motheri don't takeadvantageofmy fucking family andineverwill nomatter howbaditgets...nevernevernever...i'venever beenwherei amin liferightnow and idon'tknowwhatto do iguess i'mjustlivinginthemoment...it'swierdtomethat B calls my cell phone totalktoMi don't mind actually ialwaysjust giveittoherbecause whywouldBwannatalk to meanyways...i'mthinkingof goingtohawaii inafew months just to check it out and go backpacking as long as i can...i know i'm a born traveller i don't wanna be tied down besides loving my family and never going too far away for too long....i'mtiedand i have to sleep a little before werk...peace