Human is Just a Word 31/?
Chapter 31
When Derek ran, Stiles thought that he would run. Run out of the building, run out of the city. He doubted that the park across the street would cut it. No, he was sure that Derek needed to slip into his fur and just run.
The woods where they had spent the night of the full moon weren't far, it probably wasn't coincidence that the pack lived more at the outskirts of the city, and Stiles was fully prepared to drive out there in search for his alpha.
He knew that by the time he had reached the door, the werewolf would be out of the building and that he had no chance catching up with him if Derek didn't want to be caught up with but the least he could do was to drive out to the woods and offer him a ride home. Maybe once he'd blown off some steam he would be ready to talk about this.
Because the needed to talk about this. Soon.
But when he stepped out of the loft, he heard Derek still on the stairs.
"Derek!" He yelled. "Wait!"
A door opened and there was a cut off "What happened?" from Isaac and then Stiles was alone on the stairs.
For a moment he was tempted to just go after Derek but then he decided against it. Derek had sought out Isaac and maybe the beta could knock some sense into their alpha's skull.
Stiles stepped back into the loft and closed the door.
The TV was still running and Stiles sat down in front of it without really seeing what was going on on the screen. It was probably a good thing that now he had time to think as well because right now his mind was a swirling mess.
Derek had gotten a boner while Stiles' head had been in his lap. No matter how badly he wanted it to mean something Stiles knew that it didn't have to mean anything. Just a bodily reaction. Or Derek had gotten bored and his mind had gone to somebody else.
Stiles was known for inappropriate daydreaming about people he shouldn't daydream about.
Besides, Stiles was still seventeen and he remembered all too well what he had thought life as a claimed human in a werewolf pack would be like. He remembered the shocked expression on Derek's face when some of that had come up. So yeah, Stiles could guess what was going on in Derek's head right now, especially if he was interested in Stiles.
It was getting late and Stiles probably should go to bed but he couldn't bring himself to do that. It was two in the morning and by now he was pretty sure that Derek would spend the night at Isaac's but he stayed on the couch. If Derek came back tonight, Stiles wanted to be there.
It was almost three when the steel door slid open. Derek tried to be as silent as possible but it was a huge ass steel door and even with the wheels well greased it made some noise. Enough to startle Stiles out of his light slumber.
He sat up straighter on the couch and when he looked over to the door, his eyes locked with Derek's.
For a moment it looked like Derek would bolt again.
"I thought you would be sleeping by now." Derek finally said, his shoulders dropping.
"You mean you hoped that I would be sleeping by now." Stiles countered with what he hoped came across as light banter.
"Can we do this tomorrow?" Derek almost pleaded. He looked everywhere but Stiles, his hand twitching as if he was unconsciously searching for the door handle to run again, and it broke Stiles heart to see him like this. Afraid and unsure but still here, still willing to work this out. Whatever this was.
"Of course." Stiles hurried to say. He wanted to have the talk now, get it over with, but if Derek needed more time, he would give him more time.
But maybe he could show him that they were still good, that things didn't have to change after this. Because honestly? It wasn't a big deal. Stiles was a teenager, he knew everything there is to know about boners popping up when you don't want them to pop up.
"Could we …" He hesitated because sleep together might be the wrong term right now. "I don't want to sleep alone."
The emotions flashing over Derek's face before it became unreadable were gone too quickly to decipher but Stiles thought he read something like hope in there.
Derek gave him a short nod and then headed for the stairs. Stiles followed him but kept his distance, he had the feeling that the werewolf needed some space right now. At least until he was in his fur and they could cuddle up in Stiles' bed.
But instead of going to Stiles' room Derek opened the door to his own bedroom.
"Your bed?" Stiles blurted out. That was new. But he could totally work with that. "We've never slept in your bed. Bet, it's more comfortable than mine. It's bigger. Actually build for two people. One person and a wolf. Whatever."
He was babbling again, sue him he was nervous. Derek just raised an eyebrow at him as if he was an idiot but mildly amusing.
"Your bed." Derek said but stepped into his bedroom. "Get ready, I'll come over in a minute."
"You're not going to make this weird." Stiles grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him back out of the door. At least he tried to. The werewolf stood like a brick wall and his only movement was to give Stiles another raised eyebrow over his shoulder.
"You never had a problem with undressing in front of me." Stiles hurried to say before Derek decided to bite his hand off. "Don't start now."
The look Derek gave him went straight to Stiles' heart. Whatever was going on in Derek's head, he had never seen the alpha so lost and hopeful at the same time. Derek swallowed thickly, his Adam's apple bobbing in a way that made Stiles want to lick it, before he gave him a sharp nod.
Returning the nod Stiles let go of Derek and led the way over to his room.
Derek hurried through the process of undressing and was in his fur before his underwear hit the floor but Stiles took it as a good sign.
When they lay in bed, Derek stayed close to the edge as if he was afraid to touch Stiles but Stiles didn't have any of it. With a sigh he grabbed the werewolf and drew him close until he could bury his nose in the thick fur between his shoulder blades.
"You're not getting away this easily." He mumbled, already half asleep. Derek let out a little huff which could mean everything.
Stiles woke up before his alarm went off and for once he didn't turn around for another five minutes. He hadn't expected Derek to be still with him in bed but his side was still warm so he couldn't have been gone for long.
Rubbing his eyes Stiles sat up. The shower was running so that explained where his alpha was.
Barefoot Stiles went downstairs to start coffee. And maybe breakfast. This was going to be awkward, there was no doubt about that, but they could have at least coffee and maybe some buttered toast with it.
Show him that we're still good, Stiles thought while he searched for the jam. He had strawberry and rhubarb but he couldn't find the blueberry. Maybe Boyd ate it all, he mused. The werewolf would eat anything if it was topped with blueberry jam.
By the time Derek made his way down the stairs, he had taken his sweet time hiding in the bathroom, Stiles had set the table and was just about to get some scrambled eggs going just to kill the time. Not that he was in the mood for scrambled eggs. If he was honest, he already felt like he had lead for breakfast, he had no idea how he was supposed to force down even one bite of dry toast right now.
"Are you expecting the whole pack?" Derek raised his eyebrows when he saw the loaded table.
"I'm nervous." Stiles admitted. The werewolf could probably smell it on him anyway, he must reek of nervousness. "Hope you're hungry."
"Stiles." Derek started but took a seat and accepted the cup of coffee Stiles was offering him. "Stiles, what happened yesterday ..."
"I know." Stiles interrupted him. "It doesn't have to mean anything. Let's just pretend it never happened." Blushing Stiles turned around to check on the eggs in the pan.
"Isaac pointed some things out to me." Derek said after a moment.
Stiles swirled around, bits of half-cooked egg flying from the spatula in his hand. "What has Isaac to do with this?"
"What do you know about mates?" Derek asked, his eyes on the cup in his hands, his shoulders tense.
"Not much." Stiles tried to sound casual but his heart made a yes, please jump. Mates meant being in a relationship with Derek. Mates meant, yeah well, mating and Stiles was totally on board with mating.
But then his mind spun with the image of a naked Lydia, stumbling out of the woods two days after Jackson gave her the mating bite. Or something like that, he never figured out the logistics. Most people still thought it had been Peter who bit Lydia that night.
Stiles must have failed royally at hiding his raising panic because the next thing he knew was Derek standing next to him, hands raised as if he wanted to hug Stiles but didn't dare.
"I'm sorry." Derek said and he sounded so broken. "I never meant to ..." Lost he dropped his arms, already shifting on his feet to move away from Stiles. And that was something Stiles couldn't stand.
"Derek." He gently laid his hand on Derek's forearm. "What's going on?"
"Isaac noticed some things." Derek let out a sigh. "Things that should have been obvious to me."
"What kind of things?" Feeling like Derek needed the comfort Stiles started to rub circles with his thumb on the soft skin of the underside of Derek's arm. It seemed to help, the tension in Derek's shoulders visibly eased off.
"That we're closer than is normal for a pack bond. He thinks that we have developed a mating bond." Derek still didn't look him in the eye. "And I think he's right."
"Is that bad?" Stiles didn't know what to do with this information. Derek didn't seem to be happy about it.
"No." Derek shook his head. "A bond like that doesn't develop if the mates aren't ready for it. And it doesn't have to be sexual, I know I'm the last person you want to have …" He didn't come any farther because Stiles interrupted him with a loud: "Woah, stop it right there."
Now Derek glanced at him but his face was unreadable.
"I don't know much about mating bonds." Stiles said and tried really hard to not think about Jackson and Lydia. "But I do know that I want you. As my boyfriend, as my mate, whatever you want to call it. I want you." He locked eyes with Derek on the last words so he didn't miss them widening in surprise at his declaration. "And believe me when I tell you that I want the sexual part. Give me all of the sexual part. If you want." He hurried to add the last bit.
"Really?" Derek gave him a shy smile, hope in his eyes.
Instead of an answer Stiles leaned in, slowly to give Derek the chance to pull away which he didn't, until their lips met. At first it was just a dry brush of lips against lips but then Derek's parted and he started to kiss him back.
Chapter 32
Masterpost