Tell me where we go from here 47/47
Epilog
They made it work. It was a slow process to figure out the details but they made it work.
For Dean sex had always been an essential part of a relationship and the thought that somebody wouldn't or even couldn't desire it in the slightest was baffling if he was honest.
But what Dean had found out on the internet gave him hope. There were other couples out there who had been happily together for years, decades even, why shouldn't it work with him and Cas?
Their last name isn't Winchester, Dean thought bitterly.
But he wanted this, he wanted Cas. And Cas wouldn't stop telling him that he wanted Dean as well, that he loved Dean. So Dean gave it a try.
What was weird at first was the time between laying down for the night and falling asleep. Dean didn't know what to do, where to put his hands. The first nights after Cas came back Dean felt more comfortable when they were both decently clothed but he still lay stiff like a board every night and only slowly relaxed when Cas spooned up to him.
It took a while before Dean dared to wrap his arm around Cas and to hold him close. He did like falling asleep like that, though, and the way Cas caught his hand and placed it on his chest right over his heart told him that Cas liked it too.
It was Cas who made the next step and came to bed naked one night. The breath caught in Dean's throat and for a second he was back to the stiff like a board thing but then Cas just took his wrist and wrapped Dean around himself like a blanket.
"This okay with you?" Dean asked, painfully aware of Cas' naked butt nestled firmly in the crook of his hip.
"It would be nicer if you were naked, too." Cas answered and brushed a soft kiss on Dean's knuckles before he pressed it against his chest with both hands.
"Maybe tomorrow."
The next evening Dean stood in the bathroom, brushing his teeth and wondering if he would be brave enough to sleep naked with an equally naked Cas in his arms.
But Cas had specifically asked for this so Dean took a deep breath, squared his shoulders and stepped out of the bathroom with nothing on but a wary smile. Cas held the covers open for him and greeted him with a kiss when Dean slipped in next to him.
"It's okay, Dean." Cas assured him and a second later he had Dean in a full body hug. Dean let Cas hold him and he fell asleep in his arms, relaxed and content.
Of course the following morning was the morning Dean woke up with his morning wood pressed against the bare skin of Cas' thigh. He almost fell out of bed in his haste to put some distance between them. By the time he had reached the bathroom his penis had shrunken down and the only feeling left was embarrassment.
Cas didn't sleep. Of course the angel had witnessed every second of Dean molesting him. Why Cas hadn't stopped him was beyond him, though.
"Dean?" Cas' soft voice came through the closed door. Still buck naked Dean stood braced on the sink with his head hanging and not sure if he ever wanted to meet Cas' eye ever again.
Cas didn't want to have sex, Dean knew that and he respected it. But his stupid cock hadn't gotten the message yet, probably never would.
When he didn't answer, Cas opened the door and came up behind him.
"Dean." He said again and slung his arms around him. One hand landed on his stomach, the other one over his racing heart. Cas hadn't bothered to put clothes on so his naked chest was skin to skin with Dean's back. Warmth seeped into him and Dean let out a shaky breath.
"I'm sorry." Dean said, head still hanging. He didn't want to look up and see Cas' face in the mirror. He wasn't sure if he was ready for what he would find there.
"There is nothing you have to be sorry for." Cas kissed the nape of his neck. "You have no control over what your body does while you're sleeping."
"Next thing you say is that it's just a bodily reaction." Dean huffed out. Cas didn't say it but he was clearly thinking it.
Over the day Cas showed more affection to Dean than usual. To show him that this was okay, that some stupid morning wood wouldn't set them back, Dean guessed and when he stood in the kitchen later, preparing dinner, Dean believed it. And he had a plan to make it up to Cas.
"What are you doing?" Cas sneaked up behind him and slung his arms around him. Resting his chin on Dean's shoulder, Cas watched him chopping tomatoes.
"Preparing dinner." Dean stated the obvious. With his hands busy he opted for rubbing his cheek against Cas'. "And after dinner I want to give you a massage. Full body. I want you in a puddle of goo from head to toe."
The grip around him tightened, Cas' hands spread widely over his chest and stomach, and Cas hummed in his ear.
"I'd like that."
"I know." Dean leaned into him, letting the angel support most of his weight. "You're a sucker for my magic fingers."
They had done this before, Dean knew how much Cas loved a good massage, and now Dean also knew enough about him to not ruin it with a happy ending.
After the massage, Cas was half asleep and looked more fucked out than after an actual fuck, Dean slipped under the covers with him. He fell asleep with Cas' warm body pressed against his, legs tangled and with as much skin contact as possible.
They slept like that every night now. Or rather Dean was sleeping while Cas lay with him, watching him sleep. Which wasn't as creepy as it sounded. Knowing that this powerful being was watching over him, Dean felt able to truly commit to sleep for the first time in his life.
The next time Dean woke up with morning wood, he mumbled "be right back", gave Cas a lingering kiss and slipped into the bathroom to take care of it.
When he came back to bed on wobbly legs and with a blissful grin on his face Cas welcomed him back with cuddles. Cas always liked to cuddle afterwards.
"You good?" Cas asked in a soft voice, lips brushing over his throat.
"Hmm." Dean made and angled his head to give him better access.
"I'd like to watch next time." Cas said into his skin and Dean could feel the mischievous smirk. Then his brain caught up with what Cas had just said.
"You …? What?" Dean splattered and Cas only laughed.
"I'd like to hold you." Cas rolled on top of him so that they could look each other in the eye. "I want to hold you while you fall apart."
His head dipped down until their lips met and a second later Cas' tongue slipped into his mouth. Dean buried both hands in that thick hair, holding him close, and lost himself in the kiss.
When they parted Dean couldn't turn his eyes from Cas' swollen lips, all wet and deliciously pink.
"Cas." Dean breathed and flung one arm over his eyes in defeat. "I swear, if I hadn't come five minutes ago …"
Cas just smiled and gave him a quick peck on the cheek before he rolled off him.
True to his word Cas didn't let him slip away to the bathroom the next time Dean popped a boner. Instead he manhandled Dean in position until they sat in bed, Cas with his back against the headboard, Dean sitting in the V of his legs with his back against Cas' chest. Dean would never admit how much he loved it that the angel could manhandle him like this and if he hadn't been hard before he for sure would be now. That they were both naked helped, too.
"Cas." Dean let his head fall back to rest on Cas' shoulder, his hand lazily fisting his cock.
"Show me." Cas' stubble tickled on the soft skin of his throat.
Cas surrounded him, with his leg bracketing his, his arms around his torso, hands spread wide on his front and his body in Dean's back. Dean should feel caged, trapped, but all he felt was loved and supported. Safe. He relaxed into Cas and closed his eyes.
"Would you lick it for me?" Dean let go of his cock and raised his hand. He wasn't sure if this was a step too far or if this was still okay, but then Cas' lips brushed over his palm and Dean felt him smile before the angel gave it a few wet strokes with his tongue.
"Better." Dean sighed when his hand moved more smoothly over his shaft. He let his other hand drop down farther, rolling his balls in his hand. He felt Cas watching every move and that alone was almost enough. Dean tugged at his balls and sped up the strokes, back pressed into Cas for support. He was close now.
"Beautiful." Cas breathed in his ear and with that Dean was done. Cas held him while he fell apart in his arms.
"We should do that again some time." Dean said breathless, body lying limp against Cas.
They did.
Cas really liked to watch and for sure he was all for the cuddling afterwards. Sometimes he even lent Dean a hand and one time Cas went down on him. Seeing those sinful lips stretched around his cock, those hooded eyes looking up at him and most of all knowing that this was a special gift Cas didn't give easily, Dean came hard enough to see stars.
Cas sucked him through his orgasm and then curled up all around him. It took a while before Dean was able to speak.
"Why did you do that?" He asked. "You don't get anything out of it."
Cas lifted his head to look him in the eye.
"I like what it does to you." He said simply.
Maybe it really was this simple.
What never happened was that Cas initiated something sexual, it was always a reaction to Dean's arousal. Which at first was kind of strange but after a while Dean just accepted it. He could always made up for it with more cuddles or a massage or watching one of those stupid French movies Cas liked, and no it wasn't that kind of French movie, Dean had found out rather quickly.
So it was a surprise to wake up one morning to find his hard cock deep in Cas' throat.
"Cas?" He mumbled, more asleep than awake. "What you doing?"
But then Cas hummed around his cock and Dean could only helplessly claw at the sheets while the angel worked him over.
"Oh, shit." Dean bit out, hips bucking into the wet heat of Cas' mouth but the angel held him down, having his way with him. It didn't take him long to reduce Dean to a babbling mess, strung tight and begging for release, and just when Dean felt his balls tighten, only second from coming, Cas let go of him with a wet plop.
Dean cried out at the loss, his cock jerking into nothingness, searching for that tiny bit of friction that would send him over the edge.
"Not like this." Cas crawled over him, carefully not touching him and he even caught Dean's wrists when he tried to take matters in his own hand.
"I want you to come inside me." He whispered in Dean's ear and Dean had to bite his lip hard enough to taste blood to not come from that words alone. He whimpered, he wasn't even ashamed of the needy sound, and had to just breathe for a few seconds before he could ask: "Are you sure?"
Instead of an answer Cas reached behind himself for Dean's cock and sank down on it.
"Fuck!" Dean screamed when Cas' slick heat surrounded him. Somebody came prepared.
Cas gave them a moment to adjust before he rolled his hips but it didn't take long before he was fucking himself on Dean's length.
Shortly after Dean just clung to Cas' hips, riding out his orgasm with Cas' name on his lips.
"That was good." Heaving Dean fell back into the pillow.
"Happy birthday." Cas kissed the sweat from his lip and then stretched out next to him.
"Was that my birthday present?" Dean wasn't sure what just happened but he was content with lying here in the afterglow.
"I hope you liked it." Cas sounded almost shy.
"Oh, I did." Dean assured him. As if it wasn't obvious how much he'd liked it. Then a thought occurred to him. "Wonder if Sam dares to ask what you got me."
Cas chuckled into his chest. "Don't worry, I've another present you can unwrap in front of him."
Masterpost