Wrapped in Honey 37/49
Chapter 37
Dean had left.
Sam returned to the loft and dropped on the couch. Dean was gone. After months of having him around constantly it felt strange to be alone again.
"Uh." Sam made and let his head fall back to rest on the back of the couch. He hoped Dean would be back soon, two weeks wasn't that long, but right now it felt like Dean was gone for good.
He had kept his promise, though, and had made sure that Sam was fed to the brim and just sitting there didn't help to make him more awake. Sam let his mind drift and minutes later he was fast asleep. He slept most of the weekend, at times with the TV on as if he had to pretend that he wasn't alone, the voices filling the silence Dean had left behind, and then he sat there for hours and just felt content and lazy. Fed like this thinking wasn't his strong suit and for once he was grateful for that.
The nights were the worst. Strange how quickly one could get used to sleeping next to somebody. Never before had his bed felt so large and empty.
He went to work on Monday as usual and by then he had sobered up enough to actually get some work done. In fact, it was great for keeping his mind busy.
"Don't strain yourself." Ellen came in in the afternoon to check on him. "You've been working like insane today. What's up?"
"Nothing." He drew his hands from the keyboard where he'd been typing like a maniac. He'd never been a slacker but today he just wanted to get stuff done.
Ellen gave him a hard look.
"Trouble?" She asked.
"I hope not." Sam admitted and shook his head.
"Is this about Dean?" She prodded again.
Sometimes Sam wished he wasn't friends with her. She knew exactly when something was up, like a sixth sense, but this was kind of hard to explain.
"He's visiting a friend for a couple of weeks." He finally said and felt better immediately
"Okay." She didn't ask farther but left it open to him to talk if he wanted to. He wasn't sure if he wanted to but at the end of the day he had to go back to his place, which would be empty and cold and there would be no dinner for him and no Dean who would tell him about his cars.
"We needed some time apart." He finally said. "To figure things out."
"Oh, dear."
"It's not bad." He hurried to say. "It's just the way this all started, we couldn't go on like that. But I'm sure it'll work out in the end."
"Sometimes some time apart is a good thing." She agreed and left it with that. "You know what, Ash and a few others want to go out for a drink after work. They asked me to come along. You should come, too."
Nobody had asked Sam but over the past months he'd always turned them down so they had probably given up asking him. Now it sounded like a good idea.
"Sure, why not?"
They went to a bar, not the one he'd been with Dean, and Sam actually had fun.
"You should come with us more often, man." Ash said and ordered them a new round. "You can't just stay at home every evening, that's not good for you. What happened to the Sam who went out clubbing every weekend?"
"He met somebody." Ellen jumped in and raised her glass. "To Sam and Dean."
She didn't add that there was currently a question mark at the end there and neither did Sam. Dean would be back. He was sure of it. Because he had no idea what to do otherwise.
They all had to work the next day so nobody got really drunk, just an hour of easy fun to shake off the work day, and Sam was home rather early.
Like he'd predicted the loft was dark and empty. He went straight for his too big bed and fell asleep immediately.
On Tuesday he entered Dean's room for the first time since he'd left. He'd helped Dean packing the other day and back then it had felt like Dean's room. Now it felt as empty as the rest of the place. There wasn't much left in the closet, Dean had taken most of his stuff with him. Sam cleared out the rest. This would become the guest room once again. If - when - Dean came back Sam's bedroom would become their bedroom.
In the depths of the closet Sam found a bundle he hadn't noticed before. Curios he shook it out. Pants and a shirt made of cheap cotton. The clothes Dean had been wearing at the Food Market. The clothes Sam had bought him in.
Sam balled them up to a tight bundle, not caring that the already threadbare fabric ripped under the force, and almost sprinted outside. In the driveway he threw the bundle to the ground and then went to get some gas and a lighter.
The clothes caught fire with a whoosh and seconds later they were gone in ash and smoke.
"Should have done that a long time ago." He muttered and without another look at the smoldering remains he went back inside. Why Dean had kept them he had no clue, or maybe he had, but they were gone for good. That part of their life was over.
Back in Dean's room he took out the other clothes Dean had left, not many and nothing Dean really cared about, and carried them over to his bedroom. Then he spent the rest of the evening with sorting through his own clothes to make room in the closet for Dean. When he came back, half of the closet would be his.
By now it was late but Sam wasn't ready to go to bed just yet. He went back to Dean's room and took out the last things left in the closet. Three cars made out of boxes, toilet paper and egg white. The two older ones looked raw and unfinished but the last one, the model of Dean's baby, was still gorgeous. Sam had never understood why Dean had put it away when he'd started building the scrap cars.
He took it over to his bedroom and set it on his nightstand. Now he was ready to sleep.
A few days later, Sam was at work, he got a call from Benny.
"I'm at your place." The vampire said without a greeting. "Dean isn't here."
"I know." Sam hurried to say.
"When will he be back?"
"I don't know."
"So he's not just in town doing the groceries." Benny summed it up. "You let him go."
"I did." Sam leaned back in his chair and looked up to the ceiling.
"He coming back?" Benny's voice became soft, he knew what Dean meant to Sam.
"Dunno." Sam admitted. "He's been gone for only a few days. Told him to stay clear for at least two weeks."
"You good?"
"Ask me in two weeks." Sam sighed. "What are you doing at my place anyway?"
"I was looking for Dean." The duh hung unspoken in the air.
"Something about his dad?" Dean had told him that John was about to get free and that was the only reason he could think of why Benny went to see Dean. At a time when he knew Sam wouldn't be home. The way Benny didn't answer told him enough.
"You can tell me." Sam assured him. "Dean told me everything. The dead kid, Dean in the hospital, John in prison."
"He told you that the bastard would get out?" Benny asked.
"That too."
"Well, he is out now." Benny confirmed what Sam had been guessing. "So letting him leave probably wasn't such a great idea, at least not now."
"You think he's coming for Dean?"
"Can't tell." There was a scratching noise in the line as if he was rubbing his beard. "But I'd feel better if Dean was still safely at your place. Nobody knew where he was."
Benny had a point there but it was too late, Dean was gone. Maybe it was a good thing, though. Otherwise he may have never let him go. With his dad out there on the loose it would always be too dangerous.
"Maybe you should call him." Benny interrupted his thoughts.
"I'd rather not." Sam raked a hand through his hair.
"He would be the safest at your place." Benny pointed out and he was right. John didn't know about Sam's place and here Dean had Sam to protect him. John would get a nasty surprise if he tried to get through him. And here they had the community as backup.
"I don't want to influence him by calling him." Sam finally said. "The last thing he needs right now is a call like that."
"You should at least warn him. I don't know if he's coming for Dean or how dangerous he is but if Dean sticks to places he knows ..." Benny didn't finish the sentence.
If John Winchester was on a vendetta, Bobby's place was the first one he'd come looking for Dean, Sam knew that.
"Could you give him a call?" Sam asked. Coming from Benny the warning would be a warning and nothing more. "And I'm going to write Bobby an email, just to let him know as well."
"Bobby?" Benny asked. "As in Bobby Singer, Dean's surrogate father?"
"Yes?" Benny must have read Dean's file rather throughly if he remembered that name.
"Okay, he really told you then."
"He did."
Sam gave him Dean's number and then went to write Bobby an email. For a second he was tempted to ask how Dean was doing, if he'd even arrived safely, but in the end he just told the man that John Winchester was out of prison.
He did add a "Please watch out for Dean.", that couldn't hurt, right? He hit send and then sat back. He wasn't sure what to make out of the situation. For all he knew John could be celebrating his freedom with lots of alcohol and didn't care at all what his son was doing.
"Yeah, right." The man had Dean under his thumb all his life, had almost beaten him to death when he'd seen him with a boy. His fifteen year old son. Three month in a coma. The other kid dead. That didn't sound like a man who'd just go on with his life.
Did he blame Dean for his time in prison? What did he think of Bobby who'd taken in his son like he was his own?
"I've a bad feeling about this." Sam muttered but he'd done all he could. Bobby was warned and by now Benny had called Dean as well. There was nothing he could do on his end. Hope that Dean would come home to him but other than that?
When Sam came home that day the loft felt even emptier than before. He missed Dean. To himself he could admit it, not that Ellen and Benny hadn't figured that one out on their own.
He ordered food in, no way was he messing with Dean's kitchen, he would kill him when he came back and Sam had ruined his favorite sauce pan. He ordered for two, just to have something he could reheat the next day, but he couldn't even fool himself.
"Pathetic." He left Dean's box on the counter and went with his over to the couch and turned the TV on. At least that would fill the silence.
After dinner he opened the laptop. First he had a look at Dean's website. The picture of the latest car was up so wherever Dean was he had time to update his website.
Then he opened his email.
Bobby had answered:
Let John be my problem.
Stay away from Dean, you sick bastard!
Chapter 38
Masterpost