Could You Just Hold Me? 21/50
Chapter 21
It was still early when Nick woke up the next time but this time Dean was with him, arm and leg thrown over Nick, holding him tight. Nick would have loved to just stay like that until Dean woke up, however, he'd been in the same position for way too long and his muscles and joints competed over what ached more. And on top of that he felt icky after staying in bed all day.
A shower would be awesome, he decided. Carefully to not wake Dean Nick pried himself out of Dean's grip and padded barefoot over to the bathroom. The house was quiet, the others were probably still sleeping, and Nick felt a little bit like an intruder when he went through the cupboards in search for towels and a washcloth.
When the hot water finally hit his back in strong jets all worries were forgotten for the moment. The water worked the kinks out of his abused body and for a while he just stood there and let the water do the work. He nudged the temperature up a little higher and started washing himself. He worked the soap in his skin, scrubbing himself clean.
When the water started to get colder he finally stopped and stepped out of the stall. Nick hissed when the rough texture of the towel met his nearly scaled skin but he ignored it and dried off as quickly as possible. He had locked the door but he felt like somebody would burst in any minute. He wouldn't mind Sam or Dean, much, but that Bobby guy? Just no.
He had nothing else to wear, he didn't even know where Dean had put the jeans and shirt he'd borrowed him earlier, so Nick put the sweatpants and t-shirt back on. They were a bit smelly by now but they had to do. It was all he had left.
He didn't even own the clothes he was wearing. Taking a deep breath Nick fought against the tears once again welling in his eyes.
By the time he left the bathroom he had himself under control again. Standing in the short hallway he had no idea what to do next, though. Safest option was to go back to Dean, crawl back in bed with him until Dean woke up on his own. But Nick was thirsty and his stomach reminded him with an angry gnarling that he hadn't eaten much for days now. So kitchen it was.
On the stairs the smell of fresh coffee hit him. Somebody was awake. That Bobby or Sam, it was a fifty-fifty chance and Nick wasn't sure if he wanted to risk that. What if it really was Bobby down there in the kitchen? Nick couldn't just stroll in and ask for a coffee.
Nick turned on the stairs and made a step back to the safety of the guest room, back to Dean.
"You want to stand there all day?" A voice that was definitely not Sam's suddenly asked and Nick froze to the spot. Panic kicked back in and he wanted to run. As soon as he had his legs back under control.
"Come down here, boy." The rough voice ordered and Nick turned just far enough to have a look at the man standing in the doorway to the kitchen. The man had changed into worn jeans and flannel shirts with a trucker's cap and it was the similarity to Sam and Dean's style that made Nick fully turn and walk down the stairs.
"Coffee?" The man, Bobby, asked and retreated to the kitchen. "How do you like your eggs?"
Barely a minute later Nick sat at the kitchen table with a steaming mug of coffee in hand and watched Bobby at the stove.
"Was about to make some scrambled eggs and bacon." Bobby said over his shoulder while he searched for a pan. "You like some?"
"Yes, sir." Nick hurried to say. He would have said the same if the man had offered him fried saw dust, he was a guest in his house and he knew his manners, and his stomach grumbled in anticipation anyway. He stirred some sugar in his coffee before he tasted it. Strong and hot, just like he needed it.
"Just Bobby, please." Bobby cracked the first egg.
"Thanks for letting me stay, uhm ... Bobby." Nick said quietly.
Now Bobby turned around, spatula in hand. "I've told Dean and now I'm telling you. You can stay as long as you want."
"You don't even know me." Nick said into his mug, avoiding the other man's eye.
"That's right." Bobby sighed. "But I know Dean. He doesn't trust easy and I don't think he's ever been with someone longer than a few weeks. If he's been with you for a year now, you must mean a lot to him." He turned back to the eggs. "But he still owes me an explanation why he didn't tell me." He grumbled into his beard.
Nick could have told him about that but he kept his mouth shut. It was fairly new to him that Sam and Dean were also brothers, however, to this man they would be also lovers and that would be the worse revelation.
Bobby filled two plates with eggs, bacon and toast and set the bigger one in front of Nick.
"Eat up." He encouraged him. "I bet you need it."
Before he knew it, Nick had wolfed down half of his food.
"This is good." He said around a piece of buttered toast.
"There's more where that's coming from." Bobby smiled warmly at him. "Until Dean gets his ass down here, that is." He sighed dramatically. "That boy is going to eat me out of house and home one day."
Now Nick smiled and he decided that he liked Bobby. However, he was still waiting for the questions. Bobby must have a lot of them. How they had first met, for example, and Nick had no idea how to answer that one.
But Bobby didn't ask. Instead he openly sized Nick up which in a way was better than to be sized up more or less discretely but it made him still uncomfortable.
"We should have brought you some of your clothes from your apartment." Bobby finally said and turned his attention back to the plate in front of him. "Dean's clothes are too big for you."
Nick picked at the hem of the t-shirt. "It'll do for now, until I can get my things out of the apartment at least." He thought about that for a moment. "I don't think I want to live there any longer."
But he should probably call his landlord to tell him that he would be back to get his things. The rent was paid for the month but knowing Mr. Douchebag he should make sure that the apartment wasn't cleaned out when he came back. And Aiden. He should find out when the funeral was, attending his funeral was the least he could do.
"Dean didn't tell you?" Bobby asked suddenly tense.
"Tell me what?"
Bobby fiddled with his fork for a moment.
"The police thinks you murdered your friend." Bobby finally answered with a sigh. "I'm sorry, but you can't go back."
"Why would they think that?" His chest tightened.
Bobby was clearly pondering what to tell him which could only mean that this was bad. Nick squeezed another gulp of air in his lungs while his vision grayed out around the edges.
"The officer working the case wasn't really keen on solving this to begin with and the succubus turned your landlord into a witness against you. Sorry." Bobby answered and through his tunneled vision Nick saw him frown. "Nick, you alright?"
Nick tried to nod but that only made him more dizzy. He couldn't breathe.
Then Bobby was suddenly right next to him, touching his shoulder.
"Nick, hey." He said too close to him. "Calm down, it's okay, just breathe."
Trapped. Nick was trapped, the older man was looming over him, touching him and he couldn't get away. And he couldn't breathe. Nick flinched backwards, fighting against the touch. Black spots danced before his eyes. Then he fell and crashed to the ground which knocked the last bit of air out of his lungs.
"Dammit, boy." He heard a voice over his own blood rushing in his ears. "Dean!"
But it wasn't Dean who hauled him up to a more or less sitting position. Nick fought blindly against the new presence so close to him.
"Nick, it's me. It's Sam." The words pierced through the panic but they didn't make sense at first. Sam's strong hands held him upright with one hand on his forehead to keep his head up and that brought back the memories. The venom, the agony. Dean had held him like this when it had been at its worst.
"Nick, breathe." Sam ordered and then there was something over his mouth. And it smelled like pastry? "It's okay. Just breathe, in and out. That's good. You're doing good, in and out."
Slowly the memories abated. Sam's solid chest against his back, soft words in his ear and Nick focused on breathing. In and out, just like Sam told him to.
"What happened?" Suddenly Dean was there too. His hand landed on Nick's chest right over his racing heart, grounding him more.
"Panic attack." Was Sam's short answer and Nick relaxed a bit farther into him. They were here. Both of them. He was safe.
He didn't know how long they sat there on the kitchen floor but slowly his breathing went back to normal. The panic attack left him exhausted, though, and he blinked sluggishly by the time Dean complained about not feeling his legs anymore. And did he come up with a witty comeback? Nick wasn't sure, he was dizzy and tired and to be honest quite comfy with Sam as a pillow.
"Think we can get you over to the couch, dude?" Dean asked.
Before Nick could decide if he was ready to get up or not, Sam shifted under him and then Nick was just carried over to the other room. With Sam holding his upper body in a firm grip and Dean taking his legs they carried him around like he weighted nothing.
"Put me down." He protested but it came out with a laugh and he didn't really mean it. Carefully they lay him down on the couch and Dean covered him with a still warm blanket which smelled like Sam. Nick snuggled deeper into it.
"You okay now?" Dean sat next to him with Sam hovering over the back of the couch.
"Sorry that I freaked out."
"Don't feel sorry." Dean smirked at him. "Bobby's scrambled eggs tend to do that to a man."
"You're unbelievable." Nick huffed but the words did their job and the tension melted out of Nick's body. He reached out to place a hand on Dean's knee.
"I'm awesome." Dean grinned at him and Sam smacked Dean's arm in a very brotherly way before he mumbled something about coffee and left the two of them alone.
"Bobby said that I can't go home." Nick finally said. "That the police thinks I did that to Aiden."
"We'll figure it out." Dean promised and Nick believed him. "Together we'll figure it out."
His hand landed on top of Nick's, a silent promise to stay right at his side and Nick gave in to sleep. How he could be still so tired he had no idea but his body demanded sleep so he let himself drift off.
continue to chapter 22
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