Life in the Birdhouse: An OWBC - [1.3]
Welcome back to Life in the Birdhouse where, as it happens, life is getting a lot more difficult! Feel free to point and laugh at my trials as I struggle my way through the coming chapters. I'll be honest - that's what I would be doing if I weren't me.
BTW, just FYI, I really like this photo. JSYK.
So last time, Bryn went on a date with his truwuv Lauren Marmite and got taken in by a scam involving the plight of the common syke bird. Fisticuffs, lulz and an engagement were had. Then there was a beach wedding, but that was the least awesome thing to happen that day as the Flying Magical Cake Plate put in an appearance.
Also, lullabies. Can't forget the lullabies.
Bryn: Shabam, robot! Marvel before my talents!
Quite. So, I'm going after the Open For Business rules with this challenge, too. Part of the rules dictate that Thou Shalt Have A Gold Robotic Badge - heirs and spouses. So, Bryn and Lauren purchased a crafting table and got to work.
*Is reminded of Minecraft*
*Is ashamed*
Ahh, the romance of the Morning After: making the most of the gelatin in your grotts at dawn. Magical.
...And the not-so-magical side effects of the Morning After.
I swear, Lauren had the worst morning sickness of any Sim I've ever had. I was considering installing a television screen under the toilet seat so she could at least have something amusing to watch while she brought up her lunch. Now, I'm not a superstitious person, so I tried not to think of it as a sign of bad things to come.
Haha.
Ha.
ALRIGHT STOP. Jesus Sims. That is all. Allow me to grovel at your awesome name and ~magical purple eyes, sir.
Only a true badass can pull off that foppish hair and studded jacket combo. A badass like Jesus Sims.
Anyway, moving on to things that are of actual relevance to the challenge, welcome to The BoolProp Clubhouse! Yes, I'm going for that mini-challenge as well, and double-dipping it with the OFB rules. I think that's allowed - if it's not, do tell me in the comments.
Now, I have precious little experience with OFB and I've never run a ticketed lot before. If you have any pointers... *flails wildly at comment box*
For now, the Clubhouse is totally tricked out with a jukebox for Maximum Smustle Insaneliness and an arcade game thing for...arcade gameiness. That was all the Finches could afford, and as it is they'll be lucky if their baby-to-be won't be sleeping on the floor. Let's hope this place actually generates some revenue!
Random Townie: A jukebox AND an arcade machine? I gotta get some o' that! HURR~
And the Clubhouse is a go! Cheer!
RT: Hey, nice business you got here-
Bryn: NO! Don't mock me! I know it's rubbish; all I have is a stupid viking game and a jukebox! Who the hell in their right mind would pay money to come here? It's a frakkin' joke! So don't give me any of your condescending crap, I don't want to hear it! And another thing, those pink cargoes are wretched.
RT: Dude, I was totally being serious. Viking games and jukeboxes are amazing.
Bryn: Oh. Really? Carry on, then. Sorry about what I said about your cargoes. They're. Um. Nice, really.
I think someone needs to work on their salesmanship. Seriously, Bryn. Don't shout at the paying customers. Gahh.
Back at the Birdhouse, Lauren is sporting a lovely rust-red Plumbob and tucking into an old lunchmeat sandwich in the dark.
Lauren: *Food poisoning*
SHIII~
Halfway through an instant meal (frantically served up by her husband in an attempt to stop her getting food poisoning/dying of hunger), Lauren popped into her first trimester and some truly horrific undies.
Let the games begin.
As you were.
Pleasedon'tdiepleasedon'tdiepleasedon'tdie.
Lauren: Ye gods, what a horrible nightmare. I dreamt I married into an OWBC, lost the ability to take care of my basic needs, had no money and was living in my own squalor- oh, wait.
Bryn: Juuules, bro! High fiiive! ...WTF is wrong with your jewellery?
Jules: Meh, beats me. Probably someone a-failing again.
Yeah, that's a my-bad. On my last CC cleanup I got rid of a whole bunch of horrible jewellery I'd downloaded ages ago along the line, and must have deleted Jules' jewellery as well.
And I still haven't given her glasses. *ashamed*
Jules: Nyaaarm, nyaaarm, nyaaarm...
She doesn't seem overly fussed by her lack of glasses or properly functioning CC, though. Good woman.
Wh- HEY, YOU. I SAW THAT. THIS FAMILY HAS ENOUGH PROBLEMS GOING DOWN WITHOUT YOU BREAKING THEIR SHIT TOO. MAYBE I'LL JUST DELETE YOUR CLOTHES MESHES TOO, SEE HOW YOU LIKE THAT.
...I do apologise for that, it appears my Caps Lock key was jammed. It seems to have fixed itself now though, thankfully.
Stuff happened, blahdeblah, baby bump. I'm afraid I don't have too many photos taken around this time, because all my energy was going into making sure Lauren didn't die. I swear, I will never complain about looking after ordinary pregnant Sims after this. Because I can only give Lauren three commands a day, she really is barely ticking along with the ol' needs. I didn't know a Plumbob could get so red...
Lauren: Ohi, Nichola, thanks for calling! Yeah, I'm doing okay. Sure, I can barely stand and I keep passing out in my food, and for some reason I've gone back to wearing the default EAxis maternity wear which I can't change out of because of the command-limit. And even though my fun bar is completely tanked and I haven't had a bath in two days... at the end of it all, I still have a dishy husband, so what more could a girl possibly want?
Food, maybe. Or a bath. Or sleep.
Every day while Bryn is at work, Nichola rings up to talk to Lauren. Under normal circumstances I wouldn't mind because of the Social boost, but because Lauren is permanently on the brink of starving/passing out/wetting herself/all three at the same time at the moment and I can't cancel the interaction, I don't really appreciate it. [/angst angst angst]
SUDDENLY.
BIRTH.
Yeah, I really didn't take a lot of pictures. xD And Lauren does me proud and gives me a proper Legacy-style birth in the bathroom. And Bryn, in proper Legacy style, was a total pratt about it; even more than usual, in fact.
...As in, he couldn't even be arsed to be in the same room as his wife.
Bryn: Holy shit, she's going into labour! I'm going to be a dad!
Yeah, in the other room, numbknuckle! This whole time I was gibbering madly and praying for a single baby instead of twins. My game likes to throw me natural twins on the first generation so I was flipping my lid, but...
Lauren: One baby for me! Hooray! My life is going to be marginally less difficult than it potentially could have been!
This little guy is Benedict (name courtesy of June). He is possibly named after Benedict Cumberbatch. I'm not sure. I think in Lauren's mind, he is.
Anyway...
He has his mother's skin and eyes and his father's hair colour. And yes, if you didn't guess, I'm also doing the BoolProp Naming Scheme. Wahey.
Bryn: Oh my God! I...I have a son! Goodness, I feel all jittery and happy. The miracle of life is an incredible thing.
Lauren: I am so enthused. -_-
Lauren: Here, take him. I need to go whine at the flamingos.
Bryn: Bzuh...?
Lauren: WHINEWHINEWHINE.
STFU. It wouldn't be an OWBC without flamingos, so you just go right on back inside and get back to your hunger desperation-ing. There's a good girl.
Lauren made the most of her temporarily non-pregnant state and built a toy robot or two, until the money ran out. At this stage, I can't really see her getting a Gold Robotics Badge, because I kinda need those three commands to keep her happy. Maybe with a lot of Energizers, Elixir and oodles of time spent on community lots... *innocent whistle*
Point of interest: Lauren's predestined hobby is Tinkering, same as in my Legacy 'Hood. I just find that a vaguely entertaining coincidence.
With things (mostly) returned to normal at home, Bryn checked in at the Clubhouse. I've added a tiny bit of Officially Wacky merch, which doesn't really sell because people have to pay to enter the lot. Basically, they generate loyalty stars through the "May I Help You?" interaction, and help Bryn practice his sales skills.
Thankfully, it turns out Lauren is better at looking after her sproglet than she is at looking after herself, and little Benedict never wants for anything.
...Case in point.
Lauren: There is no way on the planet I can get to the toilet before I wet myself! Can't be done! Totally impossible!
Fabutastic.
Lauren: Hmm... Maybe I'll just wet the bed instead. Then I can fulfill two needs at the same time!
Efficient. I'ma have to stop headdesking for a sec - there are some worrying little white lights bursting in my vision. I think I'll just wait for 'em to stop.
Lauren: Look here, Mister Windowpane. What's the deal? You're all covered in smudges. Is that any way for a window to be? No. No, it's not. Have some self-respect, dammit. I'm going to go drink my juice now so I don't starve, but I want to see you taking better care of yourself. Got it? Okay.
Yeah, I hate seeing people not look after themselves as well, Captain Hypocrisy. I'm worried for Lauren's sanity right about now.
Bryn: Lauren? What's the matter?
Lauren: The Ringwraiths! On the roof! Can't you hear them?
Bryn: I-
Lauren: Shh! They're here for the Ring! We can't let them have it, y'hear?
Bryn: Darling, have you had your meds this morning?
Lauren: Pfft. Flushed 'em down the privy. Feegles filled the bottle with Special Sheep Liniment any way.
Look guys! Benedict is in his crib! THIS IS A MONUMENTOUS OCCASION!
Speaking of Benny, it's time for his toddler birthday! Look at that face - he's taking after his mother already!
And now, for an adorable toddlerkins photo...
Robot: KILL ALL HUMANS. EXTERMINATE. EXTERMINATE.
Ben: WAAH-HA-HAA! WAA!
...I blame Jules.
Okay, seriously. Here he is! I'm crap at distinguishing parents' features, but I'm pretty sure I can see Bryn's eyes and nose there. As for his personality, I totally failed to write it down. You'll just have to pull through without knowing. Diddums.
*Insert euphemism about eggs here*
And yes, a lullaby did come of this. Here we go again.
I'M DISTRACTED. BRYN IS MAKING POTTY-TRAINING FACES.
:D
I swear, Benedict is one of the brightest toddlers I've had in a long time. He learned his skills super fast, which I really appreciated what with Bryn being the only one who could really teach him the ways of life.
Don't judge me. You'd do the same in my situation. Bryn was in all kinds of desperation, the carpool was getting impatient and he really needs to be promoted because they're dirt poor and have another sprog on the way.
Well, I'm going to cut it off there, chaps! I apologise if this chapter felt a bit strained, because quite frankly, it was. My mind was not on "Oh, what amusing family antics can I capture for the good people of BoolProp?" rather, it was "Ohshitohshitohshit. No, don't go watch the waves. Eat something. Dear God, please eat something. Can't you see how tanked your Hunger bar is, woman?! Please don't die." So I hope I may be forgiven.
Also, I'm on the hunt for more Simselves to come along and hang out in the BoolProp Clubhouse! If you have one handy you would like to donate for my purposes, flick it my way and I promise to not break it too much look after it very well.
Churr.
'Til next time!
BTW, just FYI, I really like this photo. JSYK.
So last time, Bryn went on a date with his truwuv Lauren Marmite and got taken in by a scam involving the plight of the common syke bird. Fisticuffs, lulz and an engagement were had. Then there was a beach wedding, but that was the least awesome thing to happen that day as the Flying Magical Cake Plate put in an appearance.
Also, lullabies. Can't forget the lullabies.
Bryn: Shabam, robot! Marvel before my talents!
Quite. So, I'm going after the Open For Business rules with this challenge, too. Part of the rules dictate that Thou Shalt Have A Gold Robotic Badge - heirs and spouses. So, Bryn and Lauren purchased a crafting table and got to work.
*Is reminded of Minecraft*
*Is ashamed*
Ahh, the romance of the Morning After: making the most of the gelatin in your grotts at dawn. Magical.
...And the not-so-magical side effects of the Morning After.
I swear, Lauren had the worst morning sickness of any Sim I've ever had. I was considering installing a television screen under the toilet seat so she could at least have something amusing to watch while she brought up her lunch. Now, I'm not a superstitious person, so I tried not to think of it as a sign of bad things to come.
Haha.
Ha.
ALRIGHT STOP. Jesus Sims. That is all. Allow me to grovel at your awesome name and ~magical purple eyes, sir.
Only a true badass can pull off that foppish hair and studded jacket combo. A badass like Jesus Sims.
Anyway, moving on to things that are of actual relevance to the challenge, welcome to The BoolProp Clubhouse! Yes, I'm going for that mini-challenge as well, and double-dipping it with the OFB rules. I think that's allowed - if it's not, do tell me in the comments.
Now, I have precious little experience with OFB and I've never run a ticketed lot before. If you have any pointers... *flails wildly at comment box*
For now, the Clubhouse is totally tricked out with a jukebox for Maximum Smustle Insaneliness and an arcade game thing for...arcade gameiness. That was all the Finches could afford, and as it is they'll be lucky if their baby-to-be won't be sleeping on the floor. Let's hope this place actually generates some revenue!
Random Townie: A jukebox AND an arcade machine? I gotta get some o' that! HURR~
And the Clubhouse is a go! Cheer!
RT: Hey, nice business you got here-
Bryn: NO! Don't mock me! I know it's rubbish; all I have is a stupid viking game and a jukebox! Who the hell in their right mind would pay money to come here? It's a frakkin' joke! So don't give me any of your condescending crap, I don't want to hear it! And another thing, those pink cargoes are wretched.
RT: Dude, I was totally being serious. Viking games and jukeboxes are amazing.
Bryn: Oh. Really? Carry on, then. Sorry about what I said about your cargoes. They're. Um. Nice, really.
I think someone needs to work on their salesmanship. Seriously, Bryn. Don't shout at the paying customers. Gahh.
Back at the Birdhouse, Lauren is sporting a lovely rust-red Plumbob and tucking into an old lunchmeat sandwich in the dark.
Lauren: *Food poisoning*
SHIII~
Halfway through an instant meal (frantically served up by her husband in an attempt to stop her getting food poisoning/dying of hunger), Lauren popped into her first trimester and some truly horrific undies.
Let the games begin.
As you were.
Pleasedon'tdiepleasedon'tdiepleasedon'tdie.
Lauren: Ye gods, what a horrible nightmare. I dreamt I married into an OWBC, lost the ability to take care of my basic needs, had no money and was living in my own squalor- oh, wait.
Bryn: Juuules, bro! High fiiive! ...WTF is wrong with your jewellery?
Jules: Meh, beats me. Probably someone a-failing again.
Yeah, that's a my-bad. On my last CC cleanup I got rid of a whole bunch of horrible jewellery I'd downloaded ages ago along the line, and must have deleted Jules' jewellery as well.
And I still haven't given her glasses. *ashamed*
Jules: Nyaaarm, nyaaarm, nyaaarm...
She doesn't seem overly fussed by her lack of glasses or properly functioning CC, though. Good woman.
Wh- HEY, YOU. I SAW THAT. THIS FAMILY HAS ENOUGH PROBLEMS GOING DOWN WITHOUT YOU BREAKING THEIR SHIT TOO. MAYBE I'LL JUST DELETE YOUR CLOTHES MESHES TOO, SEE HOW YOU LIKE THAT.
...I do apologise for that, it appears my Caps Lock key was jammed. It seems to have fixed itself now though, thankfully.
Stuff happened, blahdeblah, baby bump. I'm afraid I don't have too many photos taken around this time, because all my energy was going into making sure Lauren didn't die. I swear, I will never complain about looking after ordinary pregnant Sims after this. Because I can only give Lauren three commands a day, she really is barely ticking along with the ol' needs. I didn't know a Plumbob could get so red...
Lauren: Ohi, Nichola, thanks for calling! Yeah, I'm doing okay. Sure, I can barely stand and I keep passing out in my food, and for some reason I've gone back to wearing the default EAxis maternity wear which I can't change out of because of the command-limit. And even though my fun bar is completely tanked and I haven't had a bath in two days... at the end of it all, I still have a dishy husband, so what more could a girl possibly want?
Food, maybe. Or a bath. Or sleep.
Every day while Bryn is at work, Nichola rings up to talk to Lauren. Under normal circumstances I wouldn't mind because of the Social boost, but because Lauren is permanently on the brink of starving/passing out/wetting herself/all three at the same time at the moment and I can't cancel the interaction, I don't really appreciate it. [/angst angst angst]
SUDDENLY.
BIRTH.
Yeah, I really didn't take a lot of pictures. xD And Lauren does me proud and gives me a proper Legacy-style birth in the bathroom. And Bryn, in proper Legacy style, was a total pratt about it; even more than usual, in fact.
...As in, he couldn't even be arsed to be in the same room as his wife.
Bryn: Holy shit, she's going into labour! I'm going to be a dad!
Yeah, in the other room, numbknuckle! This whole time I was gibbering madly and praying for a single baby instead of twins. My game likes to throw me natural twins on the first generation so I was flipping my lid, but...
Lauren: One baby for me! Hooray! My life is going to be marginally less difficult than it potentially could have been!
This little guy is Benedict (name courtesy of June). He is possibly named after Benedict Cumberbatch. I'm not sure. I think in Lauren's mind, he is.
Anyway...
He has his mother's skin and eyes and his father's hair colour. And yes, if you didn't guess, I'm also doing the BoolProp Naming Scheme. Wahey.
Bryn: Oh my God! I...I have a son! Goodness, I feel all jittery and happy. The miracle of life is an incredible thing.
Lauren: I am so enthused. -_-
Lauren: Here, take him. I need to go whine at the flamingos.
Bryn: Bzuh...?
Lauren: WHINEWHINEWHINE.
STFU. It wouldn't be an OWBC without flamingos, so you just go right on back inside and get back to your hunger desperation-ing. There's a good girl.
Lauren made the most of her temporarily non-pregnant state and built a toy robot or two, until the money ran out. At this stage, I can't really see her getting a Gold Robotics Badge, because I kinda need those three commands to keep her happy. Maybe with a lot of Energizers, Elixir and oodles of time spent on community lots... *innocent whistle*
Point of interest: Lauren's predestined hobby is Tinkering, same as in my Legacy 'Hood. I just find that a vaguely entertaining coincidence.
With things (mostly) returned to normal at home, Bryn checked in at the Clubhouse. I've added a tiny bit of Officially Wacky merch, which doesn't really sell because people have to pay to enter the lot. Basically, they generate loyalty stars through the "May I Help You?" interaction, and help Bryn practice his sales skills.
Thankfully, it turns out Lauren is better at looking after her sproglet than she is at looking after herself, and little Benedict never wants for anything.
...Case in point.
Lauren: There is no way on the planet I can get to the toilet before I wet myself! Can't be done! Totally impossible!
Fabutastic.
Lauren: Hmm... Maybe I'll just wet the bed instead. Then I can fulfill two needs at the same time!
Efficient. I'ma have to stop headdesking for a sec - there are some worrying little white lights bursting in my vision. I think I'll just wait for 'em to stop.
Lauren: Look here, Mister Windowpane. What's the deal? You're all covered in smudges. Is that any way for a window to be? No. No, it's not. Have some self-respect, dammit. I'm going to go drink my juice now so I don't starve, but I want to see you taking better care of yourself. Got it? Okay.
Yeah, I hate seeing people not look after themselves as well, Captain Hypocrisy. I'm worried for Lauren's sanity right about now.
Bryn: Lauren? What's the matter?
Lauren: The Ringwraiths! On the roof! Can't you hear them?
Bryn: I-
Lauren: Shh! They're here for the Ring! We can't let them have it, y'hear?
Bryn: Darling, have you had your meds this morning?
Lauren: Pfft. Flushed 'em down the privy. Feegles filled the bottle with Special Sheep Liniment any way.
Look guys! Benedict is in his crib! THIS IS A MONUMENTOUS OCCASION!
Speaking of Benny, it's time for his toddler birthday! Look at that face - he's taking after his mother already!
And now, for an adorable toddlerkins photo...
Robot: KILL ALL HUMANS. EXTERMINATE. EXTERMINATE.
Ben: WAAH-HA-HAA! WAA!
...I blame Jules.
Okay, seriously. Here he is! I'm crap at distinguishing parents' features, but I'm pretty sure I can see Bryn's eyes and nose there. As for his personality, I totally failed to write it down. You'll just have to pull through without knowing. Diddums.
*Insert euphemism about eggs here*
And yes, a lullaby did come of this. Here we go again.
I'M DISTRACTED. BRYN IS MAKING POTTY-TRAINING FACES.
:D
I swear, Benedict is one of the brightest toddlers I've had in a long time. He learned his skills super fast, which I really appreciated what with Bryn being the only one who could really teach him the ways of life.
Don't judge me. You'd do the same in my situation. Bryn was in all kinds of desperation, the carpool was getting impatient and he really needs to be promoted because they're dirt poor and have another sprog on the way.
Well, I'm going to cut it off there, chaps! I apologise if this chapter felt a bit strained, because quite frankly, it was. My mind was not on "Oh, what amusing family antics can I capture for the good people of BoolProp?" rather, it was "Ohshitohshitohshit. No, don't go watch the waves. Eat something. Dear God, please eat something. Can't you see how tanked your Hunger bar is, woman?! Please don't die." So I hope I may be forgiven.
Also, I'm on the hunt for more Simselves to come along and hang out in the BoolProp Clubhouse! If you have one handy you would like to donate for my purposes, flick it my way and I promise to not break it too much look after it very well.
Churr.
'Til next time!