Ashby Legacy - Generation 1, Part 3
I stopped adding borders to all the pictures because it's not fun anymore. I remember when arsing around with Corel Paint Shop, adding borders to 70 pictures, and generally wasting a fuck load of time, was fun and amusing. Now it's just a pain in the fucking ass, so the only edited/bordered/fucked around with photo is the teaser, unless I auto-fixed a dark one.
NOTE TO READERS: The next Generation will be labeled as such when the children reach their teens and a heir has been decided, that's why all the entries are still labeled as "Generation 1.X" and not "Generation 2.X," even though the second generation has been born. Savvy? Excellent.
Onto the funny!
We begin with some Sander picspam, for no other reason than that he is adorable.
Harper and Connie are clearly A+ parents. Here's Harper being pissy that his child is hungry and stinky (You can see that he's holding his nose).
Connie never pays any attention to Sander, so if it weren't for Harper (and my constant attentions) Sander would be more miserable than he already is.
Harper: Say, "handcuffs!"
Lysander: I feel as though there is a dark, dark cloud hovering over only me...
BABY ANGST, BABY ANGST, BABY ANGST
Harper does his best to teach Sander the necessary skills so he doesn't have a totally fucked up childhood...
But they still get fucking pissy every time Sander starts screaming for something.
Connie wants to earn $4,000 in royalties a week, so here she is ignoring her family and working on that next best seller.
Baby #2 PLZ.
Returning home from her first day of work since Sander's birth, Constance is rather upset to learn that her infant child still lives here and is still dependent on her.
After thinking such horrible thoughts about her first born, Connie conveniently "pops" and appears oh-so-pleased. Sure, it's OK while they're still in there, but once they come out screeching, get them the fuck away.
Every time I direct Connie to deal with Sander, he gets this "Are you serious???" look on his face.
Contrary to popular belief, Connie is actually capable of caring for her son. She's reluctant, but certainly capable. So she's like your average pregnant teen, all they need is a good kick in the ass.
P.S: Sander's "I'm taking a serious shit here" face is fucking awesome.
He immediately fucks off as his mother has one of her freak-outs.
Harper's garden is getting fucked up the ass because he's spending too much time autonomously playing with his son.
So Harper gardens in the night time when Sander goes to bed.
Connie: I love my itty bitty fetus child.
Connie: But this toddler makes me so depressed I could fucking cry.
Sander: ....
He's going to be such a confused child...
While at the day spa getting pampered, Connie goes into labour. Obligatory freak-outs ensue.
IT'S A GIRL!
Sahara Ashby
(Current/Randomized) Traits
Heavy-Sleeper
Artistic
Favorites
Music: Electronica (Wut? Where did this come from??)
Food: Mac & Cheese
Color: Turquoise
As you can see, Connie is thrilled!
Has daddy's darker skintone. Nice.
My first order of business is to move the Ashby's too a new house. The first thing Harper does? Stands there holding Sander while he watches television.
He really is a good father, though. I'm not sure why he's got such a ridiculous look on his face in this picture.
Because if Crazy Constance were the only one there to look after them they'd most certainly be dead taken away.
Sahara had a birthday in which I discover that her eyes are purple??? UM... OK...
She's cute. Right now she looks pretty much the same as Sander, but with her father's skintone and hair, and the eye color of a troll doll.
She's very calm and docile...
LIES!! Yes, yes... very sweet indeed...
Sander is still around. Now that he knows all his toddles skills the only attention he gets is the autonomous actions from Harper.
Sahara is now everyone's priority.
And I seem to have boat loads of pictures of her... I swear I don't love her more. Really. I swear.
Clearly I love both children equally. >_>
Lysander's birthday! Connie is pleased because this is where sim-parenting ends. It's not like she did any to begin with.
Sander is skeptical of this cake and it's one candle. After all, he's already one.
Sander as a child. He is now Good, Atheletic, and a Workaholic.
He looks a lot like Harper but with his mother's coloring.
His first act as a child is to run out to his father and give him a great big hug. A thank you, I'm sure, for helping his survive toddlerhood.
When Connie takes time away from reading and writing in order to do some parenting, she always manages to fail epically.
So the work falls to Harper, who never complains a bit.
Harper & Connie: OMG STFU!! Trying to sleep here, bitch!
Harper & Connie: HATE HATE HATE.
Sahara: I'm so fucking happy right now!!! :D
NO.
Easily the worst action I have ever witnessed in a Sims game.
Sahara runs away from her murderous father to play with her brother's dollhouse.
Picspam to prove that Harper really does love his daughter and doesn't want to beat her to death with a wrench.
Harper: I'll keel yoooou!
Sahara: Not if I kill you first, daddy.
O_O
Sander: Your game is totally trash, Dad!
Connie: You're both trash.
Connie: Seriously, you guys stink.
WTF is with this family and trash!!??
You can see how much Sander looks like Harper in this picture.
PLEASE STOP WITH THE TRASH!!
I got it from my mama
I got it from my mama
Connie: I need some dirt for an article, OK, that's why I'm doing this!
Whatever helps you sleep at night bitch.
Being a Workaholic, Sander autonomously does his homework. Which is fucking fantastic.
Workaholic =/= Genius
YOU'RE NOT OLD ENOUGH TO DO THAT SO YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BITCH ABOUT IT!!! >:@
She's clearly jealous of her brother, who swims all the fucking time.
Sander pretty much keeps to himself and is an excellent child.
Sander: This is my block city, where my block people live, and work, and drive their block cars. Yessum.
Having two kids is hard. Harper and Connie don't fuck in their spare time, they nap.
Despite what you might think, Sahara actually learned all her necessary toddler skillz and Harper never did murder mistreat her....
Thank you to everyone who commented! And be sure to keep your eyes open for the next installment, in which there is much growing up, and much more Constance. Whether that's a good thing or not is for you to decide. :)
Previous Installments
Generation 1: Part 1 | Part 2
NOTE TO READERS: The next Generation will be labeled as such when the children reach their teens and a heir has been decided, that's why all the entries are still labeled as "Generation 1.X" and not "Generation 2.X," even though the second generation has been born. Savvy? Excellent.
Onto the funny!
We begin with some Sander picspam, for no other reason than that he is adorable.
Harper and Connie are clearly A+ parents. Here's Harper being pissy that his child is hungry and stinky (You can see that he's holding his nose).
Connie never pays any attention to Sander, so if it weren't for Harper (and my constant attentions) Sander would be more miserable than he already is.
Harper: Say, "handcuffs!"
Lysander: I feel as though there is a dark, dark cloud hovering over only me...
BABY ANGST, BABY ANGST, BABY ANGST
Harper does his best to teach Sander the necessary skills so he doesn't have a totally fucked up childhood...
But they still get fucking pissy every time Sander starts screaming for something.
Connie wants to earn $4,000 in royalties a week, so here she is ignoring her family and working on that next best seller.
Baby #2 PLZ.
Returning home from her first day of work since Sander's birth, Constance is rather upset to learn that her infant child still lives here and is still dependent on her.
After thinking such horrible thoughts about her first born, Connie conveniently "pops" and appears oh-so-pleased. Sure, it's OK while they're still in there, but once they come out screeching, get them the fuck away.
Every time I direct Connie to deal with Sander, he gets this "Are you serious???" look on his face.
Contrary to popular belief, Connie is actually capable of caring for her son. She's reluctant, but certainly capable. So she's like your average pregnant teen, all they need is a good kick in the ass.
P.S: Sander's "I'm taking a serious shit here" face is fucking awesome.
He immediately fucks off as his mother has one of her freak-outs.
Harper's garden is getting fucked up the ass because he's spending too much time autonomously playing with his son.
So Harper gardens in the night time when Sander goes to bed.
Connie: I love my itty bitty fetus child.
Connie: But this toddler makes me so depressed I could fucking cry.
Sander: ....
He's going to be such a confused child...
While at the day spa getting pampered, Connie goes into labour. Obligatory freak-outs ensue.
IT'S A GIRL!
Sahara Ashby
(Current/Randomized) Traits
Heavy-Sleeper
Artistic
Favorites
Music: Electronica (Wut? Where did this come from??)
Food: Mac & Cheese
Color: Turquoise
As you can see, Connie is thrilled!
Has daddy's darker skintone. Nice.
My first order of business is to move the Ashby's too a new house. The first thing Harper does? Stands there holding Sander while he watches television.
He really is a good father, though. I'm not sure why he's got such a ridiculous look on his face in this picture.
Because if Crazy Constance were the only one there to look after them they'd most certainly be dead taken away.
Sahara had a birthday in which I discover that her eyes are purple??? UM... OK...
She's cute. Right now she looks pretty much the same as Sander, but with her father's skintone and hair, and the eye color of a troll doll.
She's very calm and docile...
LIES!! Yes, yes... very sweet indeed...
Sander is still around. Now that he knows all his toddles skills the only attention he gets is the autonomous actions from Harper.
Sahara is now everyone's priority.
And I seem to have boat loads of pictures of her... I swear I don't love her more. Really. I swear.
Clearly I love both children equally. >_>
Lysander's birthday! Connie is pleased because this is where sim-parenting ends. It's not like she did any to begin with.
Sander is skeptical of this cake and it's one candle. After all, he's already one.
Sander as a child. He is now Good, Atheletic, and a Workaholic.
He looks a lot like Harper but with his mother's coloring.
His first act as a child is to run out to his father and give him a great big hug. A thank you, I'm sure, for helping his survive toddlerhood.
When Connie takes time away from reading and writing in order to do some parenting, she always manages to fail epically.
So the work falls to Harper, who never complains a bit.
Harper & Connie: OMG STFU!! Trying to sleep here, bitch!
Harper & Connie: HATE HATE HATE.
Sahara: I'm so fucking happy right now!!! :D
NO.
Easily the worst action I have ever witnessed in a Sims game.
Sahara runs away from her murderous father to play with her brother's dollhouse.
Picspam to prove that Harper really does love his daughter and doesn't want to beat her to death with a wrench.
Harper: I'll keel yoooou!
Sahara: Not if I kill you first, daddy.
O_O
Sander: Your game is totally trash, Dad!
Connie: You're both trash.
Connie: Seriously, you guys stink.
WTF is with this family and trash!!??
You can see how much Sander looks like Harper in this picture.
PLEASE STOP WITH THE TRASH!!
I got it from my mama
I got it from my mama
Connie: I need some dirt for an article, OK, that's why I'm doing this!
Whatever helps you sleep at night bitch.
Being a Workaholic, Sander autonomously does his homework. Which is fucking fantastic.
Workaholic =/= Genius
YOU'RE NOT OLD ENOUGH TO DO THAT SO YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BITCH ABOUT IT!!! >:@
She's clearly jealous of her brother, who swims all the fucking time.
Sander pretty much keeps to himself and is an excellent child.
Sander: This is my block city, where my block people live, and work, and drive their block cars. Yessum.
Having two kids is hard. Harper and Connie don't fuck in their spare time, they nap.
Despite what you might think, Sahara actually learned all her necessary toddler skillz and Harper never did murder mistreat her....
Thank you to everyone who commented! And be sure to keep your eyes open for the next installment, in which there is much growing up, and much more Constance. Whether that's a good thing or not is for you to decide. :)
Previous Installments
Generation 1: Part 1 | Part 2