The Ashby Legacy - Generation 1, Part 1
NEW LEGACY MOTHAFUCKAS!
Woo-hoo! I don't know if anyone remembers my previous legacy, The Proctors, so I'll let everyone know exactly how I play.
Lady A's Legacy Rules:
Make the hottest babies by ANY MEANS POSSIBLE.
That's the one and only rule. Well, not really. But I don't follow the main rules, such as be poor, live in this exact lot at this exact time, tally your points, blah-de-fucking-blah. I start my founder off comfortably and I never build houses. EVER. I barely decorate.
Anyway, you'll catch on.
Oh, and I curse. Fucking loads of cursing.
Harper Ashby
Traits:
Green Thumb (Family Trait)
Loves the Outdoors
Vegetarian
Natural Cook
Handy
Favorites:
Food: Autumn Salad
Music: Indie
Color: Irish Green (As if that wasn't obvious...)
If you can tell me what Harper Ashby is from I'll tell you how much of a crush I have on him.
Harper: This... This is a legacy...? Your legacy?
No, it's your legacy, I'm just your dictator. You'll marry who I say and you'll fucking like it.
Harper: Yes ma'am.
The welcome wagon brings with it this average looking woman. This average looking married woman. She'll just bitch and moan if you flirt with her, Harper, so we'll just ignore her until she goes away.
Bill Caspian. Could he be Harper's Prince Caspian? God, that was horrible, and I'm not going to make Harper gay, because if I can't have him, no man can either!
Since the welcome wagon sucked monkey balls, Harper plants a tomato instead. Because if you can't have hot women, tomatoes are the next best thing...
Being the outdoorsy type I send Harper to the park to hunt for some hot genetics. Instead of hunting, he does the very un-outdoorsy action of pulling out his cell phone to call Bill Caspian. Sure, why not, because that'll get you hot babies and therefore put you in my good graces. Suuuuure!
Being that there's no one at the park besides some science nerd, I send Harper to the gardens. BIG mistake.
Harper: I'm not sure if I like this whole "legacy" thing, this woman is kind of weird.
Innocent Tomato Plant: Dude, she's right there...
Harper tells Mags how much he loves Autumn salad.
Mags doesn't care. And I don't care because you're married and ugly.
The day being a total bust, I send Harper home where he whips up some autumn salad. Surprise, surprise.
Harper loves his autumn salad. I love that gay wallpaper.
He might have just eaten a bug, but he still loves his salad.
Harper in the shower? Sure, why not! If anyone were to look in that there window they'd get a fantastic view of hot naked ass.
Anywho... Everything in Harper's bedroom is green and woodsy, just like Harper.
He also has a mirrored wall because I'm he's a kink.
The next day I send Harper to the community pool to find him a hot piece of ass because he wanted to go. This is Lydia Pearl. You could be pretty...
Although it's very, very hard to see past the green eye make-up and penciled on eyebrows.
Then I get a glimpse of Lydia's profile. DO NOT WANT. And she's a teen. And yes, that guy in the pool is fully clothed right down to the hiking boots.
Now Ruby, that's just plain mean. And it's a LIE! Harper's face is gorgeous. Your face on the other hand...
Oh, you're pregnant. My bad.
And happily married, apparently, so Harper gets shot down.
HELLO TRENCH COAT.
Harper: I'm like a pretty flower, my hands are like petals and my feet like roots.
Constance: You're lucky you're cute.
"Your glasses remind me of a big, shiny, red car." -_- THAT IS NOT FLIRTING!
Harper and Constance have a lot in common and I like her features. She's into journalism, hence the sketchy outfit. Harper is not comfortable with holding hands. Pretty flowers do not hold hands.
First Kiss??
FAIL.
;_;
Dejected and alone, Harper finds solace in his gardening books. He'd read his life away if I let him.
But deciding books aren't enough to keep him going, he decides to drown himself in the tub.
Then he realizes there would be no one to take care of his plants and he has a severe reality check.
Then he just sits there and looks pretty. And lonely...
In the morning Harper finds some Very Nice tomatoes in his garden, so all is right in the world again. In Harper's world anyway, not mine. I WANT BABIES.
That evening Constance comes over and she warms right up to Harper's advances. Now that he's grown vegetables he feels he can do anything.
Ah, a first kiss under the stars. Much more romantic than in front of the supermarket. (I love this picture!)
This is progressing nicely. With any luck there'll be some serious procreation in our next installment, barring the fact that Harper is more interested in talking to plants than he is to actual human beings...
Woo-hoo! I don't know if anyone remembers my previous legacy, The Proctors, so I'll let everyone know exactly how I play.
Lady A's Legacy Rules:
Make the hottest babies by ANY MEANS POSSIBLE.
That's the one and only rule. Well, not really. But I don't follow the main rules, such as be poor, live in this exact lot at this exact time, tally your points, blah-de-fucking-blah. I start my founder off comfortably and I never build houses. EVER. I barely decorate.
Anyway, you'll catch on.
Oh, and I curse. Fucking loads of cursing.
Harper Ashby
Traits:
Green Thumb (Family Trait)
Loves the Outdoors
Vegetarian
Natural Cook
Handy
Favorites:
Food: Autumn Salad
Music: Indie
Color: Irish Green (As if that wasn't obvious...)
If you can tell me what Harper Ashby is from I'll tell you how much of a crush I have on him.
Harper: This... This is a legacy...? Your legacy?
No, it's your legacy, I'm just your dictator. You'll marry who I say and you'll fucking like it.
Harper: Yes ma'am.
The welcome wagon brings with it this average looking woman. This average looking married woman. She'll just bitch and moan if you flirt with her, Harper, so we'll just ignore her until she goes away.
Bill Caspian. Could he be Harper's Prince Caspian? God, that was horrible, and I'm not going to make Harper gay, because if I can't have him, no man can either!
Since the welcome wagon sucked monkey balls, Harper plants a tomato instead. Because if you can't have hot women, tomatoes are the next best thing...
Being the outdoorsy type I send Harper to the park to hunt for some hot genetics. Instead of hunting, he does the very un-outdoorsy action of pulling out his cell phone to call Bill Caspian. Sure, why not, because that'll get you hot babies and therefore put you in my good graces. Suuuuure!
Being that there's no one at the park besides some science nerd, I send Harper to the gardens. BIG mistake.
Harper: I'm not sure if I like this whole "legacy" thing, this woman is kind of weird.
Innocent Tomato Plant: Dude, she's right there...
Harper tells Mags how much he loves Autumn salad.
Mags doesn't care. And I don't care because you're married and ugly.
The day being a total bust, I send Harper home where he whips up some autumn salad. Surprise, surprise.
Harper loves his autumn salad. I love that gay wallpaper.
He might have just eaten a bug, but he still loves his salad.
Harper in the shower? Sure, why not! If anyone were to look in that there window they'd get a fantastic view of hot naked ass.
Anywho... Everything in Harper's bedroom is green and woodsy, just like Harper.
He also has a mirrored wall because I'm he's a kink.
The next day I send Harper to the community pool to find him a hot piece of ass because he wanted to go. This is Lydia Pearl. You could be pretty...
Although it's very, very hard to see past the green eye make-up and penciled on eyebrows.
Then I get a glimpse of Lydia's profile. DO NOT WANT. And she's a teen. And yes, that guy in the pool is fully clothed right down to the hiking boots.
Now Ruby, that's just plain mean. And it's a LIE! Harper's face is gorgeous. Your face on the other hand...
Oh, you're pregnant. My bad.
And happily married, apparently, so Harper gets shot down.
HELLO TRENCH COAT.
Harper: I'm like a pretty flower, my hands are like petals and my feet like roots.
Constance: You're lucky you're cute.
"Your glasses remind me of a big, shiny, red car." -_- THAT IS NOT FLIRTING!
Harper and Constance have a lot in common and I like her features. She's into journalism, hence the sketchy outfit. Harper is not comfortable with holding hands. Pretty flowers do not hold hands.
First Kiss??
FAIL.
;_;
Dejected and alone, Harper finds solace in his gardening books. He'd read his life away if I let him.
But deciding books aren't enough to keep him going, he decides to drown himself in the tub.
Then he realizes there would be no one to take care of his plants and he has a severe reality check.
Then he just sits there and looks pretty. And lonely...
In the morning Harper finds some Very Nice tomatoes in his garden, so all is right in the world again. In Harper's world anyway, not mine. I WANT BABIES.
That evening Constance comes over and she warms right up to Harper's advances. Now that he's grown vegetables he feels he can do anything.
Ah, a first kiss under the stars. Much more romantic than in front of the supermarket. (I love this picture!)
This is progressing nicely. With any luck there'll be some serious procreation in our next installment, barring the fact that Harper is more interested in talking to plants than he is to actual human beings...