(no subject)
my life is seriously going down the drain. almost literally. i got busted for underage drinking. my dad wants me out of the house and he might be dieing or something. he won't tell me what is going on. it really bothered me to know that i might never get to see my sister again. i love her more than anything and would do anything for her even though i dont always do that i mean in more serious matters. i would die for her. my dad i would also do anything for in those terms but lately when i thought i was getting better i have actually just been getting worse. i need to change and i think i am going to try. it hasn't worked any other times so i am going to try and do something now before my dad really does kick me out of the house. i really hope that he doesn't. it doesn't sound like he is anymore but i am not sure. i just feel awful and like i don't want to live. i feel like i am being treated like a baby. oh look we are going to have to notify mommy and daddy b/c u were bad. i am not saying that b/c my dad knows. i would've told him. i usually dont keep things from ppl. i just don't know what to do or what's going to happen to me. i am hoping i can stay out the semester and then transfer. all though i dont feel real comfortable being here. maybe if i stop asking God to take me away from this place so i will finally be at peace with him he will answer me. i seriously just wish i was dead right now and it's not b/c of the recent trouble i am in. that is how i have always felt. there i admit it. i wish i was dead.