(no subject)
ok definately just cried for awhile again..i doubt i've ever cried this much about anyone/situation. i seriously think i need a brain transplant b/c one second i'm sure of one thing, and the next i question what i just thought. seriously i dated this guy for a day..yeah a day and then i broke it off. i hurt his feelings and at the same time my heart plummeted into ash.. and and i just can't figure anything out anymore..and i think, or i'm pretty sure i've experienced mild depression over these past months. and to this guy, you know who you are, i can never apologize enough and i'm sure you'll always hold it against me and for that i feel horrible. your one of my good friends and for that reason i should have never got involved b/c of everything attached to it. and u should know u didn't do anything, it was my stupidity in myself and unsurity...but i still want to be friends w/ you. if anything, friends. and yes i know i'm lame b/c i ran away from something possibly awsome..but that's my retardedness. but i hope u can severly forgive me. if not, then i feel we have wasted a friendship that would otherwise last time.
confusion. a simple word yet one that can destroy something good..and i think my friends are sick of hearing of my sobfest but it's real nontheless. and to patrick, you know i love you, platonically of course, and it was dumb of me to get involved when i, myself was in a state of confusion, and it def. wasn't fair to you, and to most you know now, i'm probably the bitch. but i'm ok with that. i'm not ok w/ the fact that you might think we may never be friends. cuz seriously i'd die over that. and i'm probably your worst enemy right now and i def. understand that. but i don't wish to be your enemy but your friend, best friend, if that's ever possible again...but sadly b/c of this, our friendship may never recover but I won't let that happen and i hope you won't either.
confusion. a simple word yet one that can destroy something good..and i think my friends are sick of hearing of my sobfest but it's real nontheless. and to patrick, you know i love you, platonically of course, and it was dumb of me to get involved when i, myself was in a state of confusion, and it def. wasn't fair to you, and to most you know now, i'm probably the bitch. but i'm ok with that. i'm not ok w/ the fact that you might think we may never be friends. cuz seriously i'd die over that. and i'm probably your worst enemy right now and i def. understand that. but i don't wish to be your enemy but your friend, best friend, if that's ever possible again...but sadly b/c of this, our friendship may never recover but I won't let that happen and i hope you won't either.