Episode 17: "Hat Trick"
I've said it before and I'll say it again-Sebastian Stan should've been Captain America instead of Bucky. (Of course, that's because no one likes a superhero hog...EVANS.) Come on, he played a guy who thought he WAS Captain America in one of his other movies...
For some reason, a lot of the clips from "Hot Tub Time Machine" won't let you embed from YT...so yeah, NSFW
Oh yeah, Crispin Glover was in that one, and he was also in Tim Burton's verison of "Alice in Wonderland"! Cosmic....
But getting onto the real reason why we're here, this particularly Kindertraumatic episode-
I now have the urge to play "Kingdom Hearts" again...
0:42-We left off when Mary Margaret escaped from jail. NOT A SMART MOVE.
1:02-Henry is reading from the storybook while waiting for Emma, and when she comes, he congratulates her on her 'genius plan'. Except he didn't know Mr. Gold was with her. And he doesn't know anything about it. Whoops. But this perhaps leaves Henry off the list of who left that skeleton key behind...
1:50-And apparently Emma didn't KNOW about it, either. This is just an absolute disaster, as she needs to recover Mary Margaret before the arraignment. Which is 8am tomorrow and if she's not found, that means she loses her job. And that leaves no choice but to hop in the bug and find her.
3:01-Now here's where things take a turn for the worse. Emma hits a guy with her car by accident. She says she's looking for her dog. (Really, would YOU admit the truth if your job was on the line?!) He's okay, except he seems to have twisted his ankle. Even though he lives a mile away and says he could manage, she drives him there.
3:50-In Fairytale Land, we see Jefferson (Really? They couldn't have used "Tarrant"?! That would've been LESS confusing.) running through the woods, but it's just playing Hide-and-Seek with his daughter Grace. Until he sees the Evil Queen's guards outside his house. He sends Grace to pick mushrooms and hide in the woods while he tends to this matter.
5:27-She wants him to do something for her, but he refuses. Because he KNOWS 'you don't abandon family'. (Even though his wife left him, we're assuming...) And she just wants to go to a certain place he's been...
7:05-In the real world, they arrive at Jefferson's house (Which is 316, another "LOST" reference) which is HUGE. He gives her tea, and a map, although that tea he gave her...yeah, looks like she was drugged. But before she loses consciousness, she notices his limp is gone...
You know what? Screw the writers, I'm calling him "Tarrant".
9:18-In Fairytale land, Tarrant and Grace are in the marketplace when she sees a stuffed rabbit for sale at the toy cart. One that's being run by a somewhat familiar old gypsy lady. He goes to buy it, but he doesn't have enough and tries to bargain...unsuccessfully. At least Grace isn't upset about it.
10:30-It's apparent the old gypsy is the Evil Queen, as the Magic Mirror says that was a very low thing for her to do.
10:47-In the real world, Emma wakes up bound and gagged. With no one around, she quietly smashes the teacup and uses the shards to free herself. She then notices the telescope pointed directly to HER OFFICE.
11:59-That's not the worst part...the worst part is, he's SHARPENING SCISSORS. IN A VERY SERIAL KILLER WAY. YIPES.
12:06-In Fairytale land, Tarrant just makes a bunny for Grace, which she is happy with. Though he's in no mood to play tea party. He sends her over to the neighbors' house because he has to do what the queen asks. Although I don't know if he can fulfill his promise of coming back to her... Thus, he pulls out a hat case from a storage bench...
14:12-Emma tries to sneak out, but the door she tries to exit through is another room...which has Mary Margaret bound and gagged. He took her in the woods as well, and she admits to Emma she just found the skeleton key in her cell and has no idea who put it there.
15:30-The two are about to sneak out until Jefferson pulls a gun on them. And knows Emma came for her. So Mary Margaret is tied back up, and Emma wonders why he had been watching her...
16:26-In the queen's castle, we finally see why she wanted Tarrant. He has a hat that serves as a portal for different worlds. Hey, wait...
18:00-In the real world, Jefferson knows about that curse which Emma doesn't believe. And when she mentions Henry, he thinks it's the queen's father. But after she comes into town and the clock moves, he's convinced that she has magic. She still doesn't believe him.
20:15-The only reason he's held her hostage is that he's convinced she could make a hat that could lead him back home.
20:38-In Fairytale land, the two come upon a hall of doors, which reminds me of "The Nightmare Before Christmas" and "Kingdom Hearts"...I can see there's the portals to OZ and Narnia...and the one they go through is the mirror. Except the same amount of people have to go through.
20:24-And it turns out they've entered the portal to Wonderland, complete with a hookah smoking caterpillar.
21:57-He is voiced by Roger Daltrey, but they sadly do NOT use him very much! Yeesh, "Jonas LA" gave him more screentime...
22:33-In the real world, Emma tries to talk some sense into him, figuring out he thinks he's the Mad Hatter, and that she read "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland", but it's just a story. He tries to prove a point that people wish for a magic solution, but they all refuse to believe in magic. And the fact there's plenty of realities out there. So now he's aiming those sharp scissors, telling her that the two girls won't leave until she finishes and he goes to his real home.
24:53-In Fairytale land, Regina wants an audience with the Queen of Hearts, but despite Tarrant's warning, she insists. The two face the hedge maze (With killer shrubbery), but Regina just burns a path with a fireball.
26:19-They stop at a vault (Which looks somewhat familiar), and she takes out a box which holds what the Queen had taken from her. The guards spot them, and this leads to a chase scene.
27:37-Just as the two are about to get out, she grabs a piece of mushroom and puts it in the box...inside was her father, and he's grown to full size after eating the mushroom. Except this means she's going to leave Tarrant stranded and accuses him of not caring about his daughter by leaving her. :( And it gets worse when the guards come to take him away.
30:00-And like something out of "Eyes Wide Shut", the veiled queen is whispering through an elephant trunk to her knave, demanding to know how they got there. Tarrant is not saying unless he returns to his daughter, and of course, her reply is "Off with his head."
31:00-And of course, he's beheaded, but still living and will get it reattached soon enough. This is probably the part which might've scared a lot of little children...although with the green screen, it really does look fake. He tells them about the hat, but they won't let him go unless he makes another hat. And that'll be pretty impossible...
31:50-In the real world, Emma wonders why he's so unhappy if he lives in this big house, but he points her to another telescope, which is pointed at another house. The thing he loved most is his daughter, who is known as Paige, and living with Mr. and Mrs. Grace, who were the neighbors in Fairytale land. What good is it to live here if he didn't have his daughter to share it with? Except he doesn't want her to know the truth. It would be too unbearable for her. That's why he wanted to take her back.
34:19-And now he's back to being creepy. Emma says she's starting to believe, but that's a ruse to let his guard down and knock him out with a telescope. But as she goes to free Mary Margaret, he's recovered, and a fight breaks out between the three of them, where we see that scar around his neck. He's then thrown out a window with the hat and when the girls look out the window, he's nowhere to be found! You don't think...
36:55-"By the way, have you been taking kickboxing and not telling me about it?" :)
37:00-The girls find the bug under a tarp, with the door unlocked and the keys on the seat. At this point, Emma tells Mary Margaret that it's her choice, but running is not the best solution as she's done it before. And how Mary Margaret was always on her side...like family...or friends...
38:50-It's nearly 8am, and they BOTH need to be at the sheriff's office before ANYONE finds out she escaped.
39:09-Regina pulls up to the sheriff's office, smug at the empty sheriff parking space next to her...
39:22-...until she sees Mary Margaret in her cell, acting as if she's been there the whole time.
39:47-And at this time, it's now apparent that both Regina and Mr. Gold knew about this, he was the one who put the key in her cell, but tells her that she's still going to have her revenge once Mary Margaret is put on trial. Oh no...
40:38-Emma's come to visit Henry at school, letting him know she's found Mary Margaret. Paige walks by and says hello to Henry, and Emma now needs to take a look in that storybook. As she looks through the pages, she starts to think that maybe Jefferson WAS telling the truth...
41:34-GAAAAHHH!!!!
41:45-As for poor Tarrant, he's lost his mind, surrounded by a room full of hats, none of which lead back home as he foolishly tries to start one up like a lawnmower.
Yes, I said he tried to start up a hat like a lawnmower. He really is crazy. :)
42:05-She asks to borrow the book, and Henry happily obliges. Maybe this ISN'T so crazy, she thinks...
BTW, I think there was something else cut out involving August going to Jefferson's house...
For some reason, a lot of the clips from "Hot Tub Time Machine" won't let you embed from YT...so yeah, NSFW
Oh yeah, Crispin Glover was in that one, and he was also in Tim Burton's verison of "Alice in Wonderland"! Cosmic....
But getting onto the real reason why we're here, this particularly Kindertraumatic episode-
I now have the urge to play "Kingdom Hearts" again...
0:42-We left off when Mary Margaret escaped from jail. NOT A SMART MOVE.
1:02-Henry is reading from the storybook while waiting for Emma, and when she comes, he congratulates her on her 'genius plan'. Except he didn't know Mr. Gold was with her. And he doesn't know anything about it. Whoops. But this perhaps leaves Henry off the list of who left that skeleton key behind...
1:50-And apparently Emma didn't KNOW about it, either. This is just an absolute disaster, as she needs to recover Mary Margaret before the arraignment. Which is 8am tomorrow and if she's not found, that means she loses her job. And that leaves no choice but to hop in the bug and find her.
3:01-Now here's where things take a turn for the worse. Emma hits a guy with her car by accident. She says she's looking for her dog. (Really, would YOU admit the truth if your job was on the line?!) He's okay, except he seems to have twisted his ankle. Even though he lives a mile away and says he could manage, she drives him there.
3:50-In Fairytale Land, we see Jefferson (Really? They couldn't have used "Tarrant"?! That would've been LESS confusing.) running through the woods, but it's just playing Hide-and-Seek with his daughter Grace. Until he sees the Evil Queen's guards outside his house. He sends Grace to pick mushrooms and hide in the woods while he tends to this matter.
5:27-She wants him to do something for her, but he refuses. Because he KNOWS 'you don't abandon family'. (Even though his wife left him, we're assuming...) And she just wants to go to a certain place he's been...
7:05-In the real world, they arrive at Jefferson's house (Which is 316, another "LOST" reference) which is HUGE. He gives her tea, and a map, although that tea he gave her...yeah, looks like she was drugged. But before she loses consciousness, she notices his limp is gone...
You know what? Screw the writers, I'm calling him "Tarrant".
9:18-In Fairytale land, Tarrant and Grace are in the marketplace when she sees a stuffed rabbit for sale at the toy cart. One that's being run by a somewhat familiar old gypsy lady. He goes to buy it, but he doesn't have enough and tries to bargain...unsuccessfully. At least Grace isn't upset about it.
10:30-It's apparent the old gypsy is the Evil Queen, as the Magic Mirror says that was a very low thing for her to do.
10:47-In the real world, Emma wakes up bound and gagged. With no one around, she quietly smashes the teacup and uses the shards to free herself. She then notices the telescope pointed directly to HER OFFICE.
11:59-That's not the worst part...the worst part is, he's SHARPENING SCISSORS. IN A VERY SERIAL KILLER WAY. YIPES.
12:06-In Fairytale land, Tarrant just makes a bunny for Grace, which she is happy with. Though he's in no mood to play tea party. He sends her over to the neighbors' house because he has to do what the queen asks. Although I don't know if he can fulfill his promise of coming back to her... Thus, he pulls out a hat case from a storage bench...
14:12-Emma tries to sneak out, but the door she tries to exit through is another room...which has Mary Margaret bound and gagged. He took her in the woods as well, and she admits to Emma she just found the skeleton key in her cell and has no idea who put it there.
15:30-The two are about to sneak out until Jefferson pulls a gun on them. And knows Emma came for her. So Mary Margaret is tied back up, and Emma wonders why he had been watching her...
16:26-In the queen's castle, we finally see why she wanted Tarrant. He has a hat that serves as a portal for different worlds. Hey, wait...
Click to view18:00-In the real world, Jefferson knows about that curse which Emma doesn't believe. And when she mentions Henry, he thinks it's the queen's father. But after she comes into town and the clock moves, he's convinced that she has magic. She still doesn't believe him.
20:15-The only reason he's held her hostage is that he's convinced she could make a hat that could lead him back home.
20:38-In Fairytale land, the two come upon a hall of doors, which reminds me of "The Nightmare Before Christmas" and "Kingdom Hearts"...I can see there's the portals to OZ and Narnia...and the one they go through is the mirror. Except the same amount of people have to go through.
20:24-And it turns out they've entered the portal to Wonderland, complete with a hookah smoking caterpillar.
21:57-He is voiced by Roger Daltrey, but they sadly do NOT use him very much! Yeesh, "Jonas LA" gave him more screentime...
22:33-In the real world, Emma tries to talk some sense into him, figuring out he thinks he's the Mad Hatter, and that she read "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland", but it's just a story. He tries to prove a point that people wish for a magic solution, but they all refuse to believe in magic. And the fact there's plenty of realities out there. So now he's aiming those sharp scissors, telling her that the two girls won't leave until she finishes and he goes to his real home.
24:53-In Fairytale land, Regina wants an audience with the Queen of Hearts, but despite Tarrant's warning, she insists. The two face the hedge maze (With killer shrubbery), but Regina just burns a path with a fireball.
26:19-They stop at a vault (Which looks somewhat familiar), and she takes out a box which holds what the Queen had taken from her. The guards spot them, and this leads to a chase scene.
27:37-Just as the two are about to get out, she grabs a piece of mushroom and puts it in the box...inside was her father, and he's grown to full size after eating the mushroom. Except this means she's going to leave Tarrant stranded and accuses him of not caring about his daughter by leaving her. :( And it gets worse when the guards come to take him away.
30:00-And like something out of "Eyes Wide Shut", the veiled queen is whispering through an elephant trunk to her knave, demanding to know how they got there. Tarrant is not saying unless he returns to his daughter, and of course, her reply is "Off with his head."
31:00-And of course, he's beheaded, but still living and will get it reattached soon enough. This is probably the part which might've scared a lot of little children...although with the green screen, it really does look fake. He tells them about the hat, but they won't let him go unless he makes another hat. And that'll be pretty impossible...
31:50-In the real world, Emma wonders why he's so unhappy if he lives in this big house, but he points her to another telescope, which is pointed at another house. The thing he loved most is his daughter, who is known as Paige, and living with Mr. and Mrs. Grace, who were the neighbors in Fairytale land. What good is it to live here if he didn't have his daughter to share it with? Except he doesn't want her to know the truth. It would be too unbearable for her. That's why he wanted to take her back.
34:19-And now he's back to being creepy. Emma says she's starting to believe, but that's a ruse to let his guard down and knock him out with a telescope. But as she goes to free Mary Margaret, he's recovered, and a fight breaks out between the three of them, where we see that scar around his neck. He's then thrown out a window with the hat and when the girls look out the window, he's nowhere to be found! You don't think...
36:55-"By the way, have you been taking kickboxing and not telling me about it?" :)
37:00-The girls find the bug under a tarp, with the door unlocked and the keys on the seat. At this point, Emma tells Mary Margaret that it's her choice, but running is not the best solution as she's done it before. And how Mary Margaret was always on her side...like family...or friends...
38:50-It's nearly 8am, and they BOTH need to be at the sheriff's office before ANYONE finds out she escaped.
39:09-Regina pulls up to the sheriff's office, smug at the empty sheriff parking space next to her...
39:22-...until she sees Mary Margaret in her cell, acting as if she's been there the whole time.
39:47-And at this time, it's now apparent that both Regina and Mr. Gold knew about this, he was the one who put the key in her cell, but tells her that she's still going to have her revenge once Mary Margaret is put on trial. Oh no...
40:38-Emma's come to visit Henry at school, letting him know she's found Mary Margaret. Paige walks by and says hello to Henry, and Emma now needs to take a look in that storybook. As she looks through the pages, she starts to think that maybe Jefferson WAS telling the truth...
41:34-GAAAAHHH!!!!
41:45-As for poor Tarrant, he's lost his mind, surrounded by a room full of hats, none of which lead back home as he foolishly tries to start one up like a lawnmower.
Yes, I said he tried to start up a hat like a lawnmower. He really is crazy. :)
42:05-She asks to borrow the book, and Henry happily obliges. Maybe this ISN'T so crazy, she thinks...
BTW, I think there was something else cut out involving August going to Jefferson's house...