Let's try this again, shall we?
****EDIT 15 DECEMBER 2016**** Rather than making multiple public posts on this subject and my journey, I will be commenting on this same post from time to time. Feel free to follow along
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The longest I've been without alcohol in probably the last 3 years was 10 days. NOT, mind you that I spend a lot of time blind drunk, although I've done that too. Mostly it was 2-3 glasses of wine every other night or so. It did escalate and I saw it escalating about a year ago, and worked to 'cut back', which I did have some success in. But I decided that I really just need to re-sent my body and [along with some other changes] this is a necessary step in doing so.
When you start worrying what the guy who picks up your recycling thinks about the number of empty wine bottles in your bin, it's really time to re-evaluate.
Of course, I admit that since I AM in part doing this in 'preparation' for getting a full physical in January, the nasty, cynical voice in my head says 'hey...guess what will happen? You will be a 'good' girl, give up booze, eat better, exercise and they will STILL find something horribly wrong with you.. something EXPENSIVELY wrong with you. SO why bother? Have a drink!!"
Yeah, that voice, the 'squatter' in my head, as my therapist calls it, can be a real bitch. That would be why I have used alcohol to shut it up sometimes, but I know that's not a healthy option. I've known it for a while but just did not have the strength to address the problem. I'm not sure I do now.
What I DO have is a good friend who admitted to me after I talked to her about this that she is in a similar place, and so she is going to do this with me. That helps me feel much better about the whole thing.
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