26 - Girl, I'll take you to a movie show, we can sit in the back (and I'll jack you off)
Okay, so what the shit is with this apparently worldwide interest in getting married lately?! Tenten's marrying Lee...or Naruto..maybe both? (you greedy woman); some guy at work was stupid enough to propose and seal away the rest of this life (pending the inevitable divorce), and I get this phonecall from home which was just...fuckin' bizarre.
Mom: So when are you going to settle down?
Me: ...Uhhh, what?
Mom: Settle down. Give me some grandkids already.
Me: ...the hell? Where'd this come from?!
Mom: You're the last male Inuzuka. Hurry up and fix that.
Me: ...Mom, what the shit?! It's not even your last name!! Where the hell is this all coming from all of a sudden?!
Mom: You're past your prime, kiddo. Hurry up before you start getting old.
Me: ...are you PMSing or something? Anyway, why is this MY duty?! What can't Hana pop out some kids or something? SHE'S the one past her prime!!
Hana (who was apparently listening on the other line): Because I'm a lesbian.
Me: ...What. No you're not. You're just trying to get outta this. DON'T BE SO DAMN LAZY.
Yeah...the conversation went downhill kinda rapidly after that. (And Hana's NOT a lesbian, for the record. She's just being a bitch. She's pretty good at it.)
And now I have to go home and help out with stuff as slave labour. And listen to Mom and Hana bitch at me about my lack of offspring. WHY WOULD ANYBODY WANT MY OFFSPRING. I DON'T EVEN WANT MY OFFSPRING. HOLY SHITTTT.
Anyway. Heading to Vermont for a couple of days in a couple of days. Anybody want to come keep me company? And save me from my crazy fucking family? Please?
Mom: So when are you going to settle down?
Me: ...Uhhh, what?
Mom: Settle down. Give me some grandkids already.
Me: ...the hell? Where'd this come from?!
Mom: You're the last male Inuzuka. Hurry up and fix that.
Me: ...Mom, what the shit?! It's not even your last name!! Where the hell is this all coming from all of a sudden?!
Mom: You're past your prime, kiddo. Hurry up before you start getting old.
Me: ...are you PMSing or something? Anyway, why is this MY duty?! What can't Hana pop out some kids or something? SHE'S the one past her prime!!
Hana (who was apparently listening on the other line): Because I'm a lesbian.
Me: ...What. No you're not. You're just trying to get outta this. DON'T BE SO DAMN LAZY.
Yeah...the conversation went downhill kinda rapidly after that. (And Hana's NOT a lesbian, for the record. She's just being a bitch. She's pretty good at it.)
And now I have to go home and help out with stuff as slave labour. And listen to Mom and Hana bitch at me about my lack of offspring. WHY WOULD ANYBODY WANT MY OFFSPRING. I DON'T EVEN WANT MY OFFSPRING. HOLY SHITTTT.
Anyway. Heading to Vermont for a couple of days in a couple of days. Anybody want to come keep me company? And save me from my crazy fucking family? Please?