It's been a while since I've written about my past feelings. The only thing that is running through my mind right now is that YOU NEVER KNOW
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Re: I thought I was the only oneladidaAugust 1 2005, 16:59:44 UTC
For your loss I am so sorry. I understand the anger, the pain, the anguish and the hatred. I've been through so many of those feelings over the past 5 years we've been divorced. I know I will never understand the addiction, even though I have lost many friends and family to the same fate :( For your boys and you this will be difficult. I hope that they were too young to understand and remember him, that might make it easier. I know that won't help you having to say it, but they won't feel the pain as much. My boys were older and had many years of memories, hopefully the good ones will outweigh the last 5 years. Healing is such a long hard process, but I know time will help. After the mass this past Saturday I think I've found some semblance of closure. For my boys, it will take longer and I will be there every second to help them as Iknow you will be for your sons. It's strange how life is, I know neither you or I chose this but it's happened and we need to be strong for our boys. God works in the strangest ways. I hope your healing is less painful and I can't thank you enough for sharing your life with me. There truly is comfort in knowing you are not alone. As for their addictions, your ex and mine.. they didn't get it and for them I'm sorry. You and I have the best part of both of us.. our children.. and that in itself is worth everything. Please feel free to talk to me, I would love to keep in touch and see how you and your boys are. I happily add you to my friends list.. you can never have too many friends, especially ones who have shared a similar loss. (though I truly hope that none others share our loss for their sake). Hugs and many thanks, Sandy
Re: I thought I was the only oneancevrialAugust 2 2005, 13:53:42 UTC
My eldest boy was 10 and my youngest just celebrated his 6th birthday4 days before he passed away. They were actually going to my ex's house, the day he was found. So really they knew before I did, I just had to explain it. As for the addiction, he used to blame me because I didnt love him physically. (That didnt wash btw) and the hatred developed from there. His started with pain killers. He had headaches, then the next week, then the next day and the next, until at 7pm everynight I had to go to the doctors. Then they gave it to him in pill form, and his "friend" showed how they would be more effective so to speak. It was down hill from there. I am adding you for sure and I hope to get to know who very soon. I am glad that my comments helped and together im sure we can get through this. I am sorry it is in this circumstance that we have met.
For your boys and you this will be difficult. I hope that they were too young to understand and remember him, that might make it easier. I know that won't help you having to say it, but they won't feel the pain as much. My boys were older and had many years of memories, hopefully the good ones will outweigh the last 5 years. Healing is such a long hard process, but I know time will help. After the mass this past Saturday I think I've found some semblance of closure. For my boys, it will take longer and I will be there every second to help them as Iknow you will be for your sons.
It's strange how life is, I know neither you or I chose this but it's happened and we need to be strong for our boys. God works in the strangest ways. I hope your healing is less painful and I can't thank you enough for sharing your life with me. There truly is comfort in knowing you are not alone. As for their addictions, your ex and mine.. they didn't get it and for them I'm sorry. You and I have the best part of both of us.. our children.. and that in itself is worth everything. Please feel free to talk to me, I would love to keep in touch and see how you and your boys are.
I happily add you to my friends list.. you can never have too many friends, especially ones who have shared a similar loss. (though I truly hope that none others share our loss for their sake).
Hugs and many thanks,
Sandy
Reply
As for the addiction, he used to blame me because I didnt love him physically. (That didnt wash btw) and the hatred developed from there. His started with pain killers. He had headaches, then the next week, then the next day and the next, until at 7pm everynight I had to go to the doctors. Then they gave it to him in pill form, and his "friend" showed how they would be more effective so to speak. It was down hill from there.
I am adding you for sure and I hope to get to know who very soon. I am glad that my comments helped and together im sure we can get through this. I am sorry it is in this circumstance that we have met.
Reply
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