"YOU PLAY BALL LIKE A GIRL!"
Has anyone heard of this recent...travesty?
You're kidding me right? Perhaps the only thing that made me give a whit about baseball or apple pie or small town america or James Earl Jones minus a lightsaber and you go out and make a sequel of it?
TWELVE YEARS AFTER THE ORIGINAL!?!?!??!
Well, I for one am not tooo pleased.
There is no way it can recapture the magic or charm of the origninal: Hell, its even right on the box: "Relive the Magic of the Original Sandlot!" WHAT THE HELL! That just means in plain English they want you to spend your money due to your good memories of original movies. Are they seriously going to add anything new to this story that would make it even more perfect? NOPE! It cannot be done. Its pretty much the equivalent of trying to create or destroy matter, Its a scientific law, you cant do it!
There is no way that it can make you get down on your knees than THANK JESUS that Dennis Leary isnt your StepDad!:
Is it jsut me or was Dennis Leary's character just the scariest mofo for a father youve ever seen since the homicidal Jack Nicholson character in The Shining. Come to think of it, Robert DeNiro playing Leonardo Di Caprio's abusive step-dad in This Boy's Life was pretty damn scary, but thats some entertaining child-abuse to be sure! That said, Dennis Leary is a talented actor but he somehow cant help being who he is, a badass.
There Is NO WAY YOU CAN MAKE THIS PC!....well, painfully PC at least: Okay listen, look on the cover and you see somethings that are in horrible contrast to the original movie: a girl, a budding black panther, and a preppy league allstar (pop his collar, give him a tennis racquet, and he's complete). Ok Ok, the first sandlot was indeed multi-racial and ethnic as evidenced by the one black kid (who didnt have to shout out slang terms to identify himself constantly as black) and we also had the Hispanic kid, Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez. Did he have to come to baseball practice in "the lot" everyday eating burritos and complaing about having to part time at a construction lot? No No and NO! I am really annoyed by token members of ethnicities being utilized wontonly, we have EYES, we can see that people are DIFFERENT. There is no need to shout or scream it at all, thats what made the Sandlot so good, it wasnt all that PC shit, it was about kids who loved baseball and all they trouble they got into for it! I know I am jaded as hell and my mind shouldnt have went immediately to Mr. OutofcontrolFro and Daishiki boy, but its hard not to be cynical given the things I've seen. Yes, I realize the utter hypocrisy in me saying that this is stereotyping off the bat without even haven seen the film, but hell, thats what I liked abotu the last one. It honest to God tool me a moment to remember that there were any black or hispanic kids in the first film not because an overpowering sea of caucasia swept my memory, but because the film's directors didnt really pay any attention to that at all. Hell, you'd think Civil Rights wasnt going on in this era when you watch the film: everything is as happy and perfect as it should be. The original Sandlot wasn't pandering senstively to every demographic but (wait for Sandlot 3 with the gay disabled kid who is actually a fish and we'll talk)
Plus, doesnt mister Aryan Race Hitler Youth League Propaganda Poster I am Ryan Cabrera boy look like an aboslute douche to you? Im sorry but I feel notning for this lil asswipe. Thats what you get for getting rid of Benny the Jet, another guy you can't admire.
Hell, the original Sandlot was a bildingsroman about a kid with no confidence making friends in a new town and growing up and maturing? Now with this smirk on this peroxide charlatan roight hurr, i dont think thats quite the case in this movie, and thus isnt as intersitng to me.
YOU CANNOT HAVE "THE BEAST" BE REVEALED!!!!:
*spoiler alert spoiler alert!*
Why the &%&K! is the BEAST on the front cover? Looking as doped up and happy as if he was Air-$%#king Bud or something? CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY THE MAIN PLOT DEVICE OF THE LAST MOVIE IS FLAGRANTLY RECYCLED EVEN WHEN THE SHOCK VALUE OF THE BEASTS TRUE APPEARANE IS SO MINIMAZIZED AND PACIFIED?!?!?!
ugh ugh ugh.
Remember when you were watching this film and *depending on your age* the very thought of "the beast" flipped your shit as much as it did the kids telling the ghost stories in the treehouse?
Come on, "FORRRR EVVVV VURRRRRR!"
Remember? Thats pretty much seared into my conciousness. And the total shock of seeing that mastiff run out of the gate (well, i guess they couldnt really have a mean Clifford the Big Red Dog jump out) But whaever, the point is, the beast was essentially to making that movie work. He shouldnt be in this one, there is no danger or use to him anymore...likewise remaking this film.
What is done is done, I just hope they stop the madness. Yes of course im going to have to eventually see it to prove or disprove my snap judgment, but it will be with a grain of salt.
make that a lot of salt
hell, a whole bag of sunflower seeds
oh and black kid? they only thing you can play in those sandles is catch. Welcome to Right Field?
Bring back the PF FLYERS!
You're kidding me right? Perhaps the only thing that made me give a whit about baseball or apple pie or small town america or James Earl Jones minus a lightsaber and you go out and make a sequel of it?
TWELVE YEARS AFTER THE ORIGINAL!?!?!??!
Well, I for one am not tooo pleased.
There is no way it can recapture the magic or charm of the origninal: Hell, its even right on the box: "Relive the Magic of the Original Sandlot!" WHAT THE HELL! That just means in plain English they want you to spend your money due to your good memories of original movies. Are they seriously going to add anything new to this story that would make it even more perfect? NOPE! It cannot be done. Its pretty much the equivalent of trying to create or destroy matter, Its a scientific law, you cant do it!
There is no way that it can make you get down on your knees than THANK JESUS that Dennis Leary isnt your StepDad!:
Is it jsut me or was Dennis Leary's character just the scariest mofo for a father youve ever seen since the homicidal Jack Nicholson character in The Shining. Come to think of it, Robert DeNiro playing Leonardo Di Caprio's abusive step-dad in This Boy's Life was pretty damn scary, but thats some entertaining child-abuse to be sure! That said, Dennis Leary is a talented actor but he somehow cant help being who he is, a badass.
There Is NO WAY YOU CAN MAKE THIS PC!....well, painfully PC at least: Okay listen, look on the cover and you see somethings that are in horrible contrast to the original movie: a girl, a budding black panther, and a preppy league allstar (pop his collar, give him a tennis racquet, and he's complete). Ok Ok, the first sandlot was indeed multi-racial and ethnic as evidenced by the one black kid (who didnt have to shout out slang terms to identify himself constantly as black) and we also had the Hispanic kid, Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez. Did he have to come to baseball practice in "the lot" everyday eating burritos and complaing about having to part time at a construction lot? No No and NO! I am really annoyed by token members of ethnicities being utilized wontonly, we have EYES, we can see that people are DIFFERENT. There is no need to shout or scream it at all, thats what made the Sandlot so good, it wasnt all that PC shit, it was about kids who loved baseball and all they trouble they got into for it! I know I am jaded as hell and my mind shouldnt have went immediately to Mr. OutofcontrolFro and Daishiki boy, but its hard not to be cynical given the things I've seen. Yes, I realize the utter hypocrisy in me saying that this is stereotyping off the bat without even haven seen the film, but hell, thats what I liked abotu the last one. It honest to God tool me a moment to remember that there were any black or hispanic kids in the first film not because an overpowering sea of caucasia swept my memory, but because the film's directors didnt really pay any attention to that at all. Hell, you'd think Civil Rights wasnt going on in this era when you watch the film: everything is as happy and perfect as it should be. The original Sandlot wasn't pandering senstively to every demographic but (wait for Sandlot 3 with the gay disabled kid who is actually a fish and we'll talk)
Plus, doesnt mister Aryan Race Hitler Youth League Propaganda Poster I am Ryan Cabrera boy look like an aboslute douche to you? Im sorry but I feel notning for this lil asswipe. Thats what you get for getting rid of Benny the Jet, another guy you can't admire.
Hell, the original Sandlot was a bildingsroman about a kid with no confidence making friends in a new town and growing up and maturing? Now with this smirk on this peroxide charlatan roight hurr, i dont think thats quite the case in this movie, and thus isnt as intersitng to me.
YOU CANNOT HAVE "THE BEAST" BE REVEALED!!!!:
*spoiler alert spoiler alert!*
Why the &%&K! is the BEAST on the front cover? Looking as doped up and happy as if he was Air-$%#king Bud or something? CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY THE MAIN PLOT DEVICE OF THE LAST MOVIE IS FLAGRANTLY RECYCLED EVEN WHEN THE SHOCK VALUE OF THE BEASTS TRUE APPEARANE IS SO MINIMAZIZED AND PACIFIED?!?!?!
ugh ugh ugh.
Remember when you were watching this film and *depending on your age* the very thought of "the beast" flipped your shit as much as it did the kids telling the ghost stories in the treehouse?
Come on, "FORRRR EVVVV VURRRRRR!"
Remember? Thats pretty much seared into my conciousness. And the total shock of seeing that mastiff run out of the gate (well, i guess they couldnt really have a mean Clifford the Big Red Dog jump out) But whaever, the point is, the beast was essentially to making that movie work. He shouldnt be in this one, there is no danger or use to him anymore...likewise remaking this film.
What is done is done, I just hope they stop the madness. Yes of course im going to have to eventually see it to prove or disprove my snap judgment, but it will be with a grain of salt.
make that a lot of salt
hell, a whole bag of sunflower seeds
oh and black kid? they only thing you can play in those sandles is catch. Welcome to Right Field?
Bring back the PF FLYERS!