(no subject)

[lacusclyne]

I feel as though I'm falling yet really I'm still alive. I don't understand where this sensation began, yet slowly it has been building up. As my stupidity heeds me through, so it also brings stumbling blocks in the road. I want to keep traveling forward, yet encircling me is a spiraling path downward. I was afraid of facing reality so I shut myself off from the world. There are plenty of faces, but no personality to attach to them. The faces threaten to crowd me out, leaving me desolate and confused. You speak, but you don't understand what even you are saying. Years of meaningless words have poured from your tongue, where do you turn? Even philosophy is fake, it is only using pretty words to describe things. Real communication comes not through speech but through simple actions. Even as I surmise to know a thing as to what I am talking about, I know nothing. Even these words I say now are insignificant in the spoke of things. Words can affect someone, but my words will never do as such. Its really stupid of me, but I shut myself off from real affection. I thrive with people, yet I am afraid of becoming close, afraid of being loved. As these thoughts swirl through my head they close down on me. I drown in a pool of lost emotions and hopes, and its one I am doomed to never come out from. I am losing ground in my battle with life, and slowly I'll become engulfed in my own sense of loss and confusion. Where the road will turn, no one knows, but there is a certain pointlessness in it. All of these things that we strive for each day, slowly piece by piece lead to our own demise. The world we once knew has always been rapidly changing. Through each advancement comes a price we must pay and through each stumble we rise up again. Yet there is a point you can not rise again. At some point, you can't get back up and you are imprisoned by the maze which you have created for yourself. Your prison of solitude clips your wings to roam free. Entangled in the chains of a harsh reality, your life which you once called your own has been forsaken.

........meh I wrote some of the oddest stuff.